When do you post privately to a person?

Question

I got asked a fabulous question by someone I am mentoring and thought I would share that, of course the name will stay confidential. But when do you know when to post publicly or privately to a person? Well for me, if a person needs help on sourcing, made an error say with a category label, or something to that extent, I usually post privately. It has been well known that when a person feels attacked, embarassed, etc they are less likely to respond well and thus ends up being rude, grass, and a few other words that are probably not appropriate.

We need to remember that while we are researching, doing projects, etc. that there are some people that are just starting out, nervous, unsure of what to do, and those that may have some issues like not being net savvy or may actually have a physical/mental ailment that does not allow them to process the way others would.

A suggestion for those Project Leaders, Mentors, Greeters, etc that have to leave messages about certain things that need to be fixed would to be: weigh the severity of the mistake and ask yourself, would it possibly embarrass you and make a pros and cons list of what could possibly happen if you were to leave a public message about the mistake. You'd be surprised how many people would find it easier to use and participate on WikiTree and how less argumentative they would appear to be. Also think about this: is it an open profile where you may be able to fix the problem yourself and just leave a notation of why you fixed it? Cause if it is, just fix it, source it, and move on. Even the best typist makes mistakes. I feel there is no need to publicly shed light on it.

Part of collaboration is to think of how others feel to. Just food for thought.

Happy Wiki'ing!!!

Comments

Very well and nicely said, Dodie.  Thank you.

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Hear, hear!

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Totally agree, well said.

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Always make communication private unless there is a reason to get the message out to everyone. Public posting should have a specific message that is a positive contribution to the tree, neutral information that is potentially useful for many readers, a request for help addressed to the wiki at large or a response to such a request. Everything else is your personal correspondence and need not be reviewed by the world. Sheesh. Have the concepts of personal space and privacy been entirely destroyed by IP addresses and cheap CPUs?

Answer 1

Agree in principle, would just like an internal pm system rather than one reveals my email address if  I reply.

Answer 2

Although, like Helen, I agree in principle, one of the things I like about public messages is it overcomes the issue of many people perhaps noticing the same mistake and all sending messages, so the person feels bombarded.  If there is a public message, then it is clear that someone else has addressed that issue, and I don't need to also send them another one.

The other factor in this is the wording of the message.  If it is worded in such as way as to say - can I/we help then perhaps that person won't feel embarrassed or like their being attacked?

 

Comments

I really like your point, John!

Sometime in mentoring, I will post a very vague public message, just so that others know not to continue the bombardment, then a more specific private message.

In the bulletin board message, I'll say something like, "I'm a mentor who can help with duplicates and merges. Please respond to my private message so we can communicate directly via email."

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Thanks Carole, that is a good idea.