Rhoda (18) married Benjamin F Howard (18) (born in 1841 in Pucketts Creek, Harlan, Kentucky, USA) in 1860 in Harlan, Kentucky, USA. Their children were:
Place: Bales Cemetery/Rose Hill, Lee, Virginia, USA
Note
Hendrickson_Dan originally shared this on 10 Jul 2015.
Even though I don't feel comfortable with this family page the records support the way it is laid out. It is a bit involved so please bear with me.
First Benjamin sets up a household in about 1861 with Rhoda Jane Wilder b 1841. I don't know if this was a legal marriage. They have their first child a son named Reason born in 1861. The main issue here is that Reason doesn't go by the lastname Howard he uses his mother's name Wilder. So I'm thinking that Rhoda was already with child when she and Benjamin got together. That issue makes me question the legality of their marriage.
Then in 1863 when Benjamin enlisted for the military he listed himself as married. So, who knows perhaps it was a common law marriage.
The next record that comes along is the 1870 Census and it really muddies up the water.
Sometime prior to 1870 Benjamin and Rhoda split up or divorce. By 1870 Benjamin is married to Nancy Daniels born 1840 and she brings her daughter Rachel Daniels born 1860 to the marriage. In 1870 Rhoda Jane is single and head of house with her 3 sons Reason b 1861 and James E b 1863 and William b 1868. I've already discussed Reason's parentage. But since Benjamin and Rhoda were together in 1863 when he enlisted, I think it would be reasonable to assume that Benjamin is the father of James E. I also think that he is the father of William but that is debatable. There are many cases (including my 3rd GrtGrandfather) where the guy came back from the war and tried to reestablish relationships with their wives and for whatever reason it doesn't work out. The end result is a lot of children were born and a lot of divorces. William could fall into that bunch. So far no records that could prove the parentage of any of these children have been found. Just like Reason went with his mothers last name so too, does James E and William. At least on the 1870 Census.
Life went on for Benjamin and his 2nd wife Nancy and they had a son James "Sled Jim" Howard in 1876. Also life went on with Rhoda she never remarried but she spent the rest of her life caring for her sons and spent her declining years in the home of her son Reason.
So all was well and good and while working on my tree I came across a Nancy Howard b 1898 in Harlan Co., Ky that in 1917 had married Josephus "Ceph" Henslsey b 1878 in Harlan County. I could find all the info I wanted on "Ceph" but all I could find on Nancy was her Death Record that lists her parents as Jim Howard and Linda Lee. And they were all born in Kentucky. So, in trying to discover who her parents were I started with the 1900 Harlan County Census and found nothing conclusive. Then I went to the 1910. Only one Nancy that couldn't be accounted for showed up. None of the other search results were even close to matching Nancy's vitals. Can you imagine my surprize and confusion when this Nancy showed up in Benjamin and Nancy Daniels/ Howard's HH as their Granddaughter!!? I mean how, who, which child of theirs (they only had one) could be Nancy's father? James "Sled Jim" is well documented and no where in any of that is the name Nancy. By 1898 "Sled" is married to a Catherine Howard b 1881 and by 1900 is living next door to his parents and the only Nancy around is his mother. And besides in all of the info I've found on "Sled Jim" there isn't even a mention where he might of had a child outside of his marriage to Catherine. "Sled" and Catherine are still living next door to his parents in 1910. Remember Nancy's parents were listed as Jim and Linda Howard.
So who could this Jim Howard be? There is one possibility and that's the main reason why I'm so uncomfortable with Benjamin's family page in my tree.
Remember James E Wilder b 1863 from above. The son of Benjamin and Rhoda Jane. What if he only used the name Wilder while he was in his mother's home? He had every right to use the last name of Howard. There are very few documents on him available. However, I believe that he got together with or married a Linda/ Malinda/ Belinda Lee and had at least one daughter Nancy born 1898 that was living with Benjamin and Nancy Daniels/ Howard in 1910. This Jim and Linda Lee/ Howard must of died prior to 1910 which would help account for the lack of records on them. Nancy Howard b 1898 died real young herself in 1921. Her husband Josephus Hensley was the informant on her DC.
So there you have it. Sorry for the novel. I didn't start out to write one. But I thought that some sort of explanation was needed because nobody, at least on the Internet, has this family presented in the same way as I do. And I wanted to show that some thought went into it. How accurate that thought is only time will tell.
In a way I hope that I am wrong. But the only other reasonable explanation would be that "Sled Jim" had an extra-marital affair. But since none of the other dozens of trees out there, that he is in, have anything that suggests that, why would I?
So, comfortable or not I'm going to go with what I have untill proven otherwise. As always this is my opinion and yours may vary.
Edit
Nancy's Parents
When speaking to Elizabeth Ealy Wilder in 1980 (wife of Reason Wilders son, Edward) I asked her if Reason's parents were married. Her answer was "Well, I couldn't say.
Research Notes
Original Import Information
To this point, it cannot be substantiated that Rhoda was ever actually married to her last two children's fathers. At different points in the census she claims to be widowed, divorced etc., but there are never any men heading up the family. At her death her son William lists her as married, but married to whom?
↑ Source: #S1555 Data: Text: Reason's death certificate lists her as mother .
↑ Source: #S762 Data: Text: Soundex lists her birth month and year.
↑ Source: #S1850 Page: 1 Data: Text: Listed as child. Birth year given as 1841.
↑ Source: #S2686 Page: Database online. Data: Text: Record for Rhoda
↑ Source: #S2674 Page: Database online. Rose Hill, Lee, Virginia, ED , roll T624_1633, part , page . Data: Text: Record for Rhoda J Wilder Object: @M948@
↑ Source: #S2697 Page: Database online. Data: Text: Record for Reason Wilder
↑ Source: #S2697 Page: Database online. Data: Text: Record for Reason W Wilder
↑ Source: #S2695 Page: Database online. Data: Text: Record for Martha A. Wilder
↑ Source: #S2697 Page: Database online. Data: Text: Record for William J Wilder
↑ Source: #S2856 Data: Text: Birth date: Jul 1841 Birth place: Death date: 11 May 1914 Death place:
↑ Source: #S2924 Page: Year: 1880; Census Place: Pineville, Bell, Kentucky; Roll: 403; Family History Film: 1254403; Page: 409B; Enumeration District: 008; Image: 0021 Object: @M2734@
↑ Source: #S398 Page: 48 Data: Text: She and her parents were living with sister Elizabeth's family. Roda is listed as having a great deal of money both in real estate and personal property ($1000/$800). Where did it come from?
↑ Source: #S2686 Page: Database online. Data: Text: Record for Rhoda
↑ Source: #S2674 Page: Database online. Rose Hill, Lee, Virginia, ED , roll T624_1633, part , page . Data: Text: Record for Rhoda J Wilder Object: @M948@
Source: S1555 Author: Dept. of Health, Division of Vital Records, Commonwealth of Virginia Title: Death Certificate - Reason Wilder Publication: Name: File No. 20094, Registered No. 19; NOTE: Source Medium: Official Document Source Quality: Excellent - primary Reason was buried at Bales Cemetery, Ewing Lee Co., VA.
Source: S1564 Author: Department of Health, Division of Vital Records, Commonwealth of Virginia Title: Death Certificate - Roda Jane Wilder Publication: Name: File No. 11555, Registered No. 7; Repository: #R76 NOTE: Source Medium: Official Document Source Quality: Excellent - primary William Wilder was the informant. He was living in Ewing at the time. He lists Roda as being married, to whom? He didn't know her birthdate but he gives her parents' names. Buried in Bales Cem.
Repository: R76 Name: Ricmond, VA Address: E-Mail Address: Phone Number:
Source: S1850 Author: Edgar A. Cress 100 Erskine Lane, Apt. E-35, Oak Ridge, TN 37830-7655 Title: Letter from Edgar A. Cress to Rene Thompson 6-17-98 Repository: #R1 NOTESource Medium: Letter Source Quality: Good- tertiary
Source: S190 Author: United States Census Title: 1850 Harlan Co., KY census - Reason Wilder, Head Repository: #R2 NOTESource Medium: Census Source Quality: Excellent - primary
Source: S2674 Author: Ancestry.com Title: 1910 United States Federal Census Publication: Name: The Generations Network, Inc.; Location: Provo, UT, USA; Date: 2006; Repository: #R6 NOTEUnited States of America, Bureau of the Census, Thirteenth Census of the United States, 1910, Washington, D.C.: National Archives and Records Administration, 1910
Source: S2686 Author: National Archives and Records Administration Title: Virginia 1910 Census Miracode Index Publication: Name: The Generations Network, Inc.; Location: Provo, UT, USA; Date: 2000; Repository: #R6 NOTENational Archives and Records Administration, Virginia Miracode, Washington, D.C.: National Archives and Records Administration
Source: S2695 Author: Ancestry.com Title: Public Member Trees Publication: Name: The Generations Network, Inc.; Location: Provo, UT, USA; Date: 2006; Repository: #R6
Find a Grave, database and images (https://www.findagrave.com/memorial/5055695/rhoda-jane-wilder: accessed 28 Jan 2024), memorial page for Rhoda Jane Wilder Wilder (Jul 1841–11 May 1914), Find A Grave: Memorial #5055695, citing Bales Cemetery, Lee County, Virginia, USA; Maintained by Rene (contributor 18050122).
Source: S2924 Author: Ancestry.com and The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints Title: 1880 United States Federal Census Publication: Name: Ancestry.com Operations Inc; Location: Provo, UT, USA; Date: 2010; Repository: #R4
Source: S2966 Author: Ancestry.com Title: 1900 United States Federal Census Publication: Name: Ancestry.com Operations Inc; Location: Provo, UT, USA; Date: 2004; Repository: #R4
Source: S398 Author: United States Census Title: 1860 Harlan Co., KY census - William Lee, Head Repository: #R2 Call Number: Dwelling No. 299 NOTESource Medium: Census Source Quality: Excellent - primary
Source: S505 Author: United States Census Title: 1870 Bell Co., KY census - Roda J. Wilder, Head Publication: Name: Dist # 4; Repository: #R2 Call Number: 240, Dwelling No. 29, Family No. 26 NOTESource Medium: Census Source Quality: Excellent - primary Living in Callaway.
Source: S619 Author: United States Census Title: 1880 Bell Co., KY census - Roda Wilder, Head Repository: #R2 Call Number: Dwelling No. 47, Family No. 49 NOTESource Medium: Census Source Quality: Very Good - primary Roda is listed as divorced.
Source: S762 Author: United States Census Title: 1900 Lee Co., VA Soundex - Reason Wilder, Head Publication: Name: Supr. Dist No. 30, Enum. Dist No. 33, Sheet No. 11; Repository: #R2 NOTESource Medium: Census Source Quality: Very Good - primary Living with Reason is his mother, Rhoda age 58 born July 1841 in VA.
Source: S837 Author: United States Census Title: 1910 Lee Co., VA census - William J. Wilder, Head Repository: #R2 Call Number: Dwelling No. 205, Family No. 205 NOTESource Medium: Census Source Quality: Excellent - primary William is widowed. Living with the family is Rhoda Ketrow age 15, William's niece and well as Rhoda J. Wilder, William's mother age 69 who had 9 children 7 living.
Wilder-1081 was created by Rene King through the import of MyFamily_wikitree.ged on Aug 10, 2014.
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DNA Connections
It may be possible to confirm family relationships with Rhoda by comparing test results with other carriers of her mitochondrial DNA.
However, there are no known mtDNA test-takers in her direct maternal line.
It is likely that these autosomal DNA test-takers will share some percentage of DNA with Rhoda: