I have beholdgenealogy.com bookmarked, but I haven't tried it out yet. I think Gramps might give you most control, but isn't easiest to use.
I've tried Legacy_Family_Tree, it works fine. AncestralQuest also, fine.
Key seems to be, (and no, I haven't done this myself yet oops) use sites like wikitree (preferably) or weRelate or Ancestry as working tools, keep your copy on your software though. then BACK IT UP! Someone had a post about after a fire, how they recommended strong wooden boxes, not metal, not fireproof, etc.
Look into mdisc media for the backups. lasts a lot longer than CD/DVD