LNAB for children of de facto marriages

Question

This question is mainly about New Zealand.  We call it de facto marriage when a couple lives together as husband and wife, but did not perform the legal paperwork of a marriage.  

In many cases, the woman will take the man's surname, and they may describe themself as married, even on legal documents such as electoral rolls and later marriages and death records.  Close friends and family may be unaware that they were not legally married.

In this circumstance, children's birth records declare both parents but the child's surname is written on the record as the mother's legal surname.

However, the child is only ever known by the father's surname, including on school records, marriage/death records, and so on.

In this circumstance is it allowable to use the father's surname as LNAB?   I think it is somewhat confusing and disrespectful to have someone's profile be identified by a name they never would have used at any point in their life.

The https://www.wikitree.com/wiki/Help:Name_Fields#Last_Name_at_Birth does seem to include "...they never used their birth name" as allowable rationale for  not using the name on the birth record, in the context of adoption, but could that also apply in  the *de facto* context?

Comments

I disagree with "children's birth records declare both parents but the child's surname is written on the record as the mother's legal surname.". The child's name is what the registering informant said it was. In a recent birth to the de facto partner of a male relative of mine, the child has the father's surname. I have seen the certificate.

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In recent such births, the father is frequently listed.  

Back in the day, however, and depending on jurisdiction, the mother's last name was what was given to the child if the parents were unmarried (or, at least, not married to each other).  

There were cases where a child born to a woman outside the "bounds" of matrimony, was registered under her legal last name at the time, that of her husband, even though the child was not of the husband.

Some jurisdictions may have allowed "natural born" children to be registered under the father's last name if (a) it was known and he acknowledged the child as his, or (ii) the parents married soon after.

Answer 1

I don’t think there is an easy answer, just a judgment call. It depends on time frame. If there is no conflicting evidence that the mother’s name was used as a surname, then perhaps the  father’s surname is appropriate. Currently, for students in the education system in NZ, their “official” name is what is on their birth certificate. Teachers use whatever name the caregiver/child wishes to be called. However, the official name is used on NZQA qualifications etc. Many a time I’ve had to check when a student with an entirely different “official” name appears on an exam list, for instance.