Calling a Cemetery (or Church) - Advice?

Question

I've never called a cemetery for information.  

What can one expect?  How best to start the call?  What information can likely be gained and what should I know before hand?   If the person is multiple generations distant - does it matter?  I imagine the office may receive many calls all the time and expect a certain pattern.  How do they deal with people who are new to this process?  What mistakes can I avoid?

In one particular case I only have indication that the  person is likely buried there - based on a death certificate.   

Might I learn more than whether they are buried there and  if so, where the plot is?  That is - if there are other names associated with the plot or who may have paid for the plot?   Anything else?

If the person (or cemetery) was associated with a church should I also contact the church?  What sorts of records might be maintained by a church that they would be willing to share?   I realize it depends on the denomination of church.

Comments

I'll add that while I am from NYS I dont live there -- I might get back once or twice a year - with limited opportunity to stop in at cemetery office.

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Thank you Lisa, lot's of helpful advice!

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When it comes to calling churches, timing is an issue. If you happen to call on a day that the church is gearing up for a wedding or a funeral, the person who answers the phone is apt to be more than a little distracted. Also, many churches run off their bulletins on Thursdays, so that's usually the day that the copier breaks down or the power goes out or something like that. And often, church offices are closed on Mondays because nobody got Sunday off.

So if I were calling a church, probably the first question I'd ask is, "Is this a good time to call?"

Greg

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Contacting the Cemetery office is usually a good place to start. Most  Catholic Churches keep their cemetery records on file at a designated church office. So your best bet is to determine who to contact, call and introduce yourself, and let them know whom you are seeking. Having an actual death certificate and/or plot purchase record will help you enormously. My church in Minnesota, keeps the records for a large cemetery in our area (covers all the burials for people from 3 different churches). We always help people seeking information regarding plot locations and burials. Some of these burials are well over 150 years old. We are happy to provide people with a detailed cemetery map, which you can take with you to find your loved one. So don't be afraid to call them, ask if they have a map of the cemetery, and I am sure they will assist you as much as they can. You also may wish to contact the local historical society to see if they have death records available for public research. The cemetery office might not know all the details of the deceased, where the actual death records will shed lots more light on the individual including their home address, cause of death, place of death etc. Hope that helps.

Answer 1

Hi, it all depends on the cemetery or church.

Most are very welcoming.  If it is a large well run cemetery they may tell you the plot number, if it has a headstone, who else is buried there, when they were buried and dates.

Where I live it is a mix of who is responsible for maintaining the cemetery - one they charge a fee of £10 per search, another is totally free and happy to take you directly to the grave.

Churches - again you may find them very helpful - depends on the size of their graveyard if they have staff to assist you.

I am in Cardiff, Wales, UK.  so you will find it differs in different areas.  I am on Find A Grave and on my profile which is linked to several churches/cemeteries I've tried to provide as much information as possible to help the family member to locate or know what to expect from the place.

Have you tried Find A Grave?

Comments

Yes, Love Findagrave!

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Great answers!! Michael, I have traced my paternal (Roberts) familily to Robert Roberts Esq. born 1604 in Denbighshire County, Wales. You wouldn't happen to be able to find out anything about his family would you?Ihave run into the proverbial brick wall and would cherish anything you might could offer.

It doesn't matter whether it is good or bad. One thing tracing my roots has taught me is that every family has their share of both.

Thank you for anything you can offer.

Glendan Roberts

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Glendan,

If you haven't already - I would recommend putting this question into it's own G2G question with link to the profile, so it gets more prominence.  The location is a bit out of my area of experience.

 

MM

Answer 2

Michael, I have many relatives in New York, back to: 1752. If you already have a death certificate, you might try searching at:  findagrave.com I find it mostly accurate & am also a member to this free site. You might also try some New York Newspapers at: fultonhistory.com & nyshistoricnewspapers.org

Comments

Thank you -- I make frequent use of Findagrave.com - and regular use of fultonhistory -- and occasional use of nyshistoricnewpapers.org.    It's much easier to do a search for me than to make a call when I don't know how best to do it.   In this case there is no record for this person on findagrave - which may mean no marker, or the marker has submerged.   I've obtained the death cert as a result of a kind soul that found her obit on fultonhistory and another who confirmed the death cert was at Buffalo records.

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Hi John - seems we pitched our replies at the same time.  I'm also a member of FindAGrave.

Answer 3

I have called a few cemeteries in NJ with great success. All of the business managers were pleasant and helpful. They had plot info, who purchased the plot(s), nearby relatives, funeral home that handled the burial arrangements.

Comments

Thank you Doug!

Answer 4

Hi Michael

I have had some decent luck in contacting cemeteries in New England, but a lot depends on the age of the cemetery, size of the cemetery and the number of staff, as to how much help they can offer at a given moment.

I find it useful, if they have the information on an ancestor and I cannot actually visit the cemetery to always ask:  If I send you a stamped, self- addressed return envelope, and pay for any copying or other fees, would you be willing to copy the record and mail it to me?  If they agree, you can always include a 'donation' check for the material, with your written request. 

That gives them a little more time to gather what they have, make copies, mail it to you etc.  I actually have one set of documents that includes who bought the plot(s), when, price at that time; all the related burials within the plot; and actual correspondence between the owner and the cemetery over time, as burials occurred, and ownership changed from one generation to the next.

Good Luck!

 

 

 

 

 

 

Comments

Thank you Chris!

Answer 5

If you know there is an office, you've gotten past the first step.  Contact the office and ask if the person shows up as interred there in their records.  The majority of the cemeteries with an office will have most if not all of their interment records and those are public access so you can request a copy.  Often times you will get names of relatives and additional information you may not have found otherwise.  In addition, many of this type with an office here in the US also have copies of the obituary that was posted in the local newspaper, if done, and can provide you with a copy of that as well. The obituary can help if all you have is the death certificate.  In many instances with cemeteries with offices they handled the interment and in some cases handled filing the death certificate (esp pre 1950) and the obituary with the newspaper.  You never know until you contact them.  Some of these are also 'too busy' to be bothered with us genealogists and I have run into a few of these big outfits that don't want to help you (not many mind you), but in that case you will do best to either go yourself if you can make the trip, have a family member in the area go for you, or seek out someone for that area on raogk.org who would be willing to go in person for you to obtain copies.  It's harder to be ignored face to face, particularly if you are armed with the 'public access law' (check your state of interest).  Hope this helps, and while others mentioned findagrave if there isn't a photo posted I don't like to use that as a source UNLESS the person who added it states it came directly from the cemetery's interment records, because it is possible the person who added it got it from somewhere online/the same source you did and without a marker photo you really can't say that they are buried there just because findagrave has the name there--findagrave is just like ancestry.com--without any sort of proof or documentation, anyone can go add anything they want.  Heck! Three years ago I came across several findagrave pages in several cemeteries in a county where someone who had a photo request had some nut go and 'up his numbers' by simply uploading a photo of an elephant from a zoo to numerous requests and those folks now had an elephant for a tombstone! :(  Some people are weird! LOL

Finally, just to add FYI, if your cemetery doesn't have an office, but is associated with a church, contacting the church for information can be helpful. If there was a church and it is no longer functioning, or the church itself has no records to share (particularly older churches) contact the repository for the church.  You'll have to reseach to find this information, but it is out there, you could ask area churches of the same denomination about where their repository is for church records.  For example, in the state of Alabama rural church records for Baptist Churches can be found at Samford University. I have viewed records for some of the oldest churches there going way back and for some that no longer exist.  They were very helpful and have even recently checked records for me at no charge.  I've also worked in the past with a repository in GA but can't recall where it was--may have also been a university library.  Bottom line, there are places to look, you just have to ask questions.  Which you did here--so GOOD START and good luck Michael! :)