Noob seeks a review of my work - how did I do?

Question

Hello mentors! I have added two biographies on my piddling tree so far. Before I continue I want continuity of style so I'm  looking for suggestions on any improvements. These are incomplete - I want to add more info (bolded subject titles at the end) and links to siblings and whatnot. I don't think I like bolding all the names - I saw that on another profile but I think it's too busy. Also I don't care for the Ancestry citations, so I cleaned those up and won't be using gedcom in the future because of the mess, but I don't think those citations are sufficient. Should I add the link to the pages themselves in every citation or is "Ancestry.com" enough?

Thanks for looking at my grandpaws. :) I want to have a good format before I proceed.

Gramps [Pooler-151|Elmer Joseph Poulin]

Great Gramps [Poulin-621|Ludger Poulin]

Comments

Also apparently I don't  know how to link their pages in a question. :/

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I also found some errors in the sources, lnking to weird pages instead of sources - apparently I still have some gedcom crap to clean up. :/ Hope I get faster at this, golly.

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You are soooo on the right path Michelle!

Great to have you here :)

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Great profile, Michelle - interesting and sourced :D

Answer 1

Nicely done Michelle. Well on the way. If I were writing this profile, I would avoid the "we find" and use something like: Ludger Poulin was listed in the 1861 Canadian Census .....

There's a tense thing that goes on when talking about census data. I catch myself doing it all the time. Things like: "They are living next door to Pierre ..." and "Ludger and Marie have moved." We get caught into the timeframe of the census, but we need to remember that the census took place in the past so: They lived next door to Pierre Ludger... and Marie had moved.... (I was an English major, once upon a time and feel free to ignore this paragraph if it seems like too much... There aren't any grammar police on wikitree)

I agree about the bolded names being kind of busy.

The story has a nice flow to it. Thank you for taking the time to write a nice bio.

PS. You can add [[Category: Profile style review requested]] to the tops of your profiles anytime you'd like to have someone (usually me) look at them. I'm the Profile Improvement Project Manager.

Comments

Wonderful, thank you thank you so much!

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In cleaning up these profiles I was not expecting to be sad about changing the "has" to "had" and the "is" to "was." I didn't realize it, but I liked thinking about them as alive. :/

Thank you for your help they look much better. :)