Inappropriate Behavior but I Can't File a MIR [closed]

+17 votes

This is my first G2G activity in two months, since writing that I will only post here if I need to ask for help with my own family ... well, now I do.  The problem isn't with research, though - it is with inappropriate behavior of a member and I am afraid that if I file a MIR someone will decide to block me.  This is not paranoia - it is the result of the previous experience that caused me to cease actively collaborating on the global tree.

I will be extremely careful not to provide anything to identify the other party here, however if a leader or team member wishes to address this problem, please contact me for identification of the member whose behavior I find inappropriate and offensive.

In the family activity email I received this week, there was an indication that 3 edits had been made to the profile of one of my close relatives.  This is a profile that I entered as a total newbie to both WikiTree and genealogy.  It had only a brief paragraph consisting of memory and family story about the relative, and is one of the ones that is now on my radar to properly tend to since I am no longer focused on the large abandoned family gedcom I had previously "adopted".

When I checked, I discovered that the changes were:

  • a typo was corrected
  • the place names, which I had originally (when I didn't know better) entered as only city and 2 letter state, had been changed by the addition of "USA"
  • the Black Sheep template had been added.

I corrected the place names by inserting the correct counties, removed the Black Sheep template, and left a comment on the changer's profile thanking him/her for correcting the typo, politely recommending that if he/she is going to take the trouble to correct a place name that it be fully corrected, and respectfully suggesting that he/she contact a profile manager who can easily be seen to be active before making substantive changes to an immediate family member.

The person immediately removed my comment and put the following comment on my profile:  "I don't respond to messages posted publically on my profile. Feel free to send a private message if you wish to address me." (please note that I have just removed this comment from my profile for the sole purpose of avoiding ability to identify the person here, however I do have the email message I received when it was posted).

I responded with another comment on his/her profile, that said:  "No response was required. I merely suggested that you contact a very active profile manager before making changes to profiles of their close relatives in the future. I also suggested that if you're going to correct an incorrect place name, it would be good to use the complete place name instead of only a partial one. No response to this is required either."

I then received the following private message from this person:

1. If you have a problem with a change I've made to a profile, posting your complaint publically on my profile is the best way to get yourself noted as a "public shaming bully". This might intimidate others. I don't give a f.

2. if you would like to discuss an open profile and changes made to it, you could start the conversation by identifying which profile it is.

3. I recall recently adding a profile to the Black Sheep project BECAUSE the biographical text STATED his family considered him a BLACK SHEEP. There is no reason to discuss this.

4. Feel free to not respond.

Aside from the unpleasant general tone that is not in keeping with the WikiTree honor code, I find the use of the letter "f" (in the paragraph numbered "1") completely offensive.  I expect that we are all big boys and girls here and I expect that everyone will draw the same inference as I do - namely that the single letter was used as a placeholder for an obscene word that the writer knows better than to use.  To my mind, using some subterfuge to impart an unprintable word is no different than using the word itself.

This person is a very active member here and there is a comment on his/her profile posted by a leader encouraging the person to become a mentor.  The person's tag list includes mentors, although the mentor list does not include this person.  I would hope that there is at least person among the leaders and team members who is concerned enough about assisting this person to adjust his/her actions and interactions here to be in concert with the stated WikiTree goals, policies, and standards of behavior.

NOTE - edited to change format on quote of private message because only the first line of each numbered item showed up when using the quote icon in this edit box.

closed with the note: Mags is handling. Thanks Mags!
in The Tree House by Gaile Connolly G2G Astronaut (1.2m points)
closed by Abby Glann

2 Answers

+23 votes
Hey Gaille and Everyone, I will take care of dealing with this.

by Mags Gaulden G2G6 Pilot (657k points)
THANX Mags - you have taken a giant step toward restoring my faith in everything WikiTree stands for.  I have just emailed you full information about this issue.
+11 votes

Hi everyone,

Just to make sure the wrong message isn't being sent here, anytime you have a problem with a member, please use the MIR system! That's what it is there for. Unresponsive Profile Managers and Open Profile Requests have their own system, though, and should not go through the MIR system. They include privacy setting issues. Situations like this are exactly why we have the Problems with Members page and MIR form.

Thank you, Mags for taking care of this. I hope things are cleared up soon, Gaile.

by Abby Glann G2G6 Pilot (770k points)

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