Elisa, so sorry for your loss ma'am.
I might be 6'' 3'' Tall & weigh 260 lbs, US Navy Nuke-Submarriner, truck-driver / dispatcher... but when I lost my Me'maw 2 years ago to lung cancer it was more traumatic than the 14 car-wrecks I walked away from.
Not only that but I lost my surrogate Caddo Indian Mom the same year (My BFFs Mom). Nothing and nobody could ever & will ever fill the void I still feel today after these last two years. These two magnificent ladies had hearts of gold ♥
And since I was in pain & clinically depressed I decided to get a huge tattoo on my right shoulder. It says:
MOM
I know Donna Marie is in heaven preparing / working in the flower-beds everyday & when my sissie & I get up yonder we all gona have A Party On The Patio. Here is a song that has helped me. Reba McEntire Just Like Them Horses . Peace Out, JPV IV :)