How did you convince your DNA tested relative to “join” WikiTree?

Question

Your relative was willing to DNA test for you and be “anonymous” in WikiTree so you could pursue the family’s genealogy.  Now they must accept an invitation to join WikiTree (thanks GDPR)-;  How did you word your join invitation to convince them that joining would be okay?

Answer 1

I paid for it!

Comments

Paying for it does not give you any rights over their DNA results Diane. What did you say to them to persuade them that they should create a Wikitree account and register their kit?

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Since he is LDS he wanted my names and has never wanted to assist in any research nor does he have any interest in even assisting care for the ancestors' graves near his home in GA while I live in VA! Even though I have offered to pay all expenses involved - all he has to do is meet someone for an estimate - he is retired but he still cannot find the 'time'.

He offered his DNA IF I paid for it and IF I maintained the account since he didn't want the email nor did he want his email address used or his cellphone - he just is NOT interested and I can't think of another way to put it. So I have his DNA and his kit# but since i cannot add it without his input, and he will not want to be 'bothered' I guess I will just stick to the Family Tree program I am using now, updating it periodically hoping to find if our surname IS our surname! And I will continue finding the ancestors (over 200 original emigrants now dating back to 1609), documenting them and telling their stories. When I finish I will share with the interested family via digital book from the cloud and have copies printed for those who do not use a PC, local historical societies and libraries. IF I do not finish and at 75, there is always that fear, all my paper records, a hard drive containing all digital files and PSP updated photos and other photos will go to an existing account that I started at the Univ of GA in my paternal grandmother's name. No one in my family is interested - it's 'too time consuming', 'too expensive' and 'too confusing'.

Oh my brother was SO disappointed since most of the names I gave him (no living and limited to blood only and spouse) were already in the database on Family Search! But I have updated the DNA twice now and will do it until I run out of updates or find the information.

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Oh, I have the account - not him!

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Diane, assuming it's your blood brother's DNA result, the great thing about sibling DNA tests is they help you find people who match you too, even if your own DNA kit does not match them.  Since we don't get even shares of our parent's DNA, each sibling has similar but different sets of matches.  After you have tested each kit against kits from people from known lineages, you will learn which sibling best matches each line.  For example, I've discovered I don't match anyone on my Hood line, but my sister matches them fairly well.  But I match other lines better than she does.

All to say I recommend uploading each DNA result, yours and theirs, into GEDmatch, and whenever you come across a promising person (with a GEDmatch ID), test each of your kits against theirs.  Each relative's kit gives you a better chance of determining if and how another person relates to you and yours.

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Something for us to remember - if a relative has given us full permission to use their DNA results *and* they do not live in Europe, there is NO LEGAL reason we cannot use their DNA in any way we want, including the use of it within WikiTree.  The only reason we cannot add it to WikiTree now is because of a current policy limitation, hopefully very temporary.  There are a number of people here that have DNA kits with total permission and no GDPR restrictions, from others with no interest in doing the computer work, or are unable to do the computer work, but happy to see the results, or just happy we're happy using their tests.  Currently the WikiTree GDPR FAQ says they MUST do some computer work, and that's a blocker for some.  We hope that soon there will be an acceptable mechanism, or permission to do what is needed for this set of people.

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This would not work for my end goal of finding our 'real' surname since we dead end with a Thomas Stark b 1724 VA d 1794 GA - the earliest record I find for him is a land lease of some of the Custis land in Hanover Co VA but he traded that lease for land in Lunenburg Co and by the time he migrated with is entire family to GA he had land of his own, which he sold.

But so far our Stark male DNA does not match any other known Stark family and the matches I receive from my brother's DNA are other surnames with a few dominant, so I have extended his test - again - and hope to narrow it down even more. I am seriously doubting that Thomas surname was Stark(e) - or at least his father's.

As for our York surname, again we dead end with a Captain William York b. abt 1755 (avg dob of the rev war soldier) and again our DNA is not even close to any other known York family - in fact even the haplogroup is WAY off - we are J and the other families share the same haplogroup as my Stark(e) family, R1b2. However I do not get the York report but keep up by checking the York study, however only those known to descend from William have tested identical. What I don't have are the 'other' surnames that match but have another descendant testing and I know she will share her brother's reports with me. So I am hunting for the names of two ancestors using DNA since so far I found no documents to support any but their own names with no information on parents or surnames for their wives.

Answer 2

Good question Peter, but I don't think that advice from me as to how to phrase it would be of much help.  At the end of the day I got about a 50:50 split of those who did the necessary minor piece of admin and those who couldn't be bothered.

Free, and no obligation, promise of no spam or copying of e-mail ID, and please help me keep this valuable DNA trail alive, all featured in my covering e-mail. Worked for some, not for others.

Answer 3

"It's the way to tell your loved one you loved them enough to do this so the information will be there even after you are gone."