Hi Terry! You have done a lot of work! I find it very interesting!
I think having a table of contents and breaking the information into sections as you have done really helps the reader.
I do think it is a little too much, but not because it is too long. It is only too much where it no longer is telling us about Thomas, but instead is telling us about a city back in England that Thomas himself has no direct connection to other than his name, or Winchester families other than Thomas's own family. (I do think this is both interesting and useful to your research, but not to the profile of Thomas.) It is also a little too much where it goes into detail about descendants - better to have profiles for each of the descendants, as you mostly have, and thus the WikiTree tools will work - for instance, the descendants button. If you do decide to keep all the descendants in Thomas's profile, please hyperlink them to their own profile by using the [[Winchester-34|Douglas Winchester]] method.
I had a question while i was reading: When was this tribute by the Hon J N Price written and delivered? I didn't get a sense of when this celebration occurred.
I would also like to leave you with a little thought: sometimes the family name is an indication of where the family was from just before surnames were established, which was a long time ago and beyond the genealogical horizon for most of us. For example, if a person's last name is French, that is an indication that he is no longer among French people. If they all were French, it would be useless for distinguishing him. It is only useful if he is the only French person, or one of only a few. Likewise with geographical names such as cities. It is not useful to differentiate all the residents of a town by giving them the name of the town. It is only useful once they have moved away from the town and can be identified as having come from that town. Just something to keep in mind.