Oh, also, "Please don't name your children Alan, or Brenda, or Charles, or Debbie, or Edward, or common names like that. Instead, please use names like Anastasia, or Beauregard, or Clara, or Durwood, or Edna, or something like that, so they're not going to have 4 other kids in their class with the same name, and so their great grandchildren can find them more easily in public records. And whatever you do, never marry a guy with a last name like Smith, Jones, Brown, or anything like that."