I hear ya, David! You are not alone! I'm told that you don't have to propose and wait on merges if you don't create duplicates, BUT no matter how hard I try I can't help creating duplicates. Just yesterday it happened again. Here's why...the person already in WikiTree had a birth date which was estimated and off by TWENTY years! So he didn't show up as a match when I created my profile (using accurate dates from his Will, Censuses, and his Find A Grave memorial.) I found him later, when I tried to create a profile for one of his children which did have a match and, lo and behold, a father with very incorrect vital information. So now I have to wait on someone who hasn't been active on WikiTree for a couple of years to approve the merge, or 30 days, whichever comes first.
Don't even get me started on waiting on people to add me to trusted lists so I can improve other profiles..