My Out of Place ancestor is Jennie Alma Hoilman. Her profile is https://www.wikitree.com/wiki/Hoilman-21. Alma was very talented. She had no practical training in music, but could by ear, sit down and play the piano at will. She loved flowers and was always looking for something to plant. She had a troubled childhood beginning with the divorce of her parents Flossie and Doiley. She was raised raised by her maternal grand mother for several years and later lived with an aunt, Juanita and her husband Lilburn Hight. They started a business in South Florida where she was to eventually meet her husband Bill.
My cousin who is the son of Alma learned a tremendous amount of information about his parents that occurred prior to and even after his birth. The facts about family problems were kept from him until well into his teen years. Even now he will uncover some relevant piece of information that was not known by him. The biggest secret in the family must be the psychological state of his mother.
As a child from a broken family, raised by a dominating grand mother, his mother, Alma was very unstable. This did not become apparent until after the birth of her first son Billy my cousin and the other cousin older brother.
As a child of four, Alma was sent to Indiana to her mother who had just remarried and was not even settled into her marriage. Flossie, Alma mother was not entirely honest with her new husband and had not told him of her daughter Alma by her first marriage. As a result of this four year old child appearing on his door step, he made plans to annul the marriage and who would blame him?
After the return of Flossie to her home, Alma first lived with one family member then another. Finally as a young teen she was staying with an aunt and uncle in south Florida when she met her husband Bill. All the problems of her past were now considered of no importance as her "prince charming" had come to her rescue.
She was very young and fragile when she was thrust into the Barker family with their solid clannish nature. They were a large family that worked, fought and loved together. She felt uncomfortable and that she didn't really fit in. Added to this was her pregnancy. The romantic facade soon crumbled and the problems created in her youth came to the front. She had never been taught to face and handle obstacles and soon found herself cornered by them.
The result was years of psychotherapy all to no apparent avail. She was very unhappy in her new role as mother and wife, isolated from the only family she ever knew. Added to this was the examples some of her aunts, including her own mother presented. Suicide was a way out for them and those that couldn't break the bonds to their mother, took that path. His grandmother Flossie took her life when Alma was only eleven years old. Her son knew of his great grandmother Jennie Belton and found her to be a very manipulative person. She was rigid, stern, and unforgiving.
When Alma's second pregnancy came about, she went completely off the deep end. She spent a few months in Florida's Insane Asylum and upon her return to home wanted desperately to return to the only security she had ever known. That of her domineering grandmother. Bill her husband would have no part of it and there were short separations and many accusations made during this period. He loved Alma and dedicated himself to attempting to make a happy home for her. As intelligent as he was and as much as he loved her, he was not able to be much comfort to her. He passed up many opportunities of financial security just to stay close to Alma's side. The only extended time he wasn't there was during World War II, a very desperate and trying time for Alma.
There were suicide attempts and periods of deep depression. Thus Bill found himself having to be concerned with keeping her and the children alive while providing sustenance. There were many job opportunities that would have offered great security financially that Bill had to turn down, mostly because the jobs would neccessitate him being away from Alma for extend periods of time.
When the little piece of property was purchased in Orlando, if further isolated Alma and subjected her to a very sparse environment with much menial labor. Letter from Alma to others during this time reflect some of the abject poverty she felt. It seemed everywhere she turned she found no promise of help. This caused a lot of friction between them, because he had literally given up many opportunities just to be near Alma.
Years after this period even after Bill had a secure job with a future, Alma never got away from the abject poverty of that time. Life being one challenge after the other, continued to be a burden that Alma was, by this time unwilling to bear.
After both her children had families of their own the final irony came when she began to feel totally unneeded. Little did she realize that those fledgling families needed her more than ever. At the young age of fifty she finally succeeded in carrying out the horrible act of suicide.
Her mother died by her own hands also.
