A few ideas to consider. First at 41.8 cM I'd be looking more at 4th to 5th cousins than 3rd, all of my verified 3rd cousins have significantly larger matches (~60 cM - 120 cM). Is that 41.8 cM all one segment or is it split over multiple segments? If it's split over multiple segments then how many and what size?
Do all or most of your Dutch ancestors match you on the same segment(s)? If so, I'd build out that triangulation group and start looking for common ancestors among the biggest matches. You'll also want to look for close matches between your Dutch matches that might potentially move you a generation or two closer to your common ancestor. MyHeritage has tools that can help you with this.
I'd second Mark's point on changing spelling of surnames and add that you might want to consider that your Dutch relatives may have an English ancestor hiding behind a Dutch surname somewhere in their trees.
Depending on your resources you may want to consider either uploading your DNA to FTDNA (I think this is still possible) and maybe GEDmatch (as always read the privacy agreements and make your own decision). You might also consider getting tested at Ancestry as they don't allow uploads but do have the largest pool by far. I personally haven't had much luck with Ancestry at that distance mainly owing to a lack of necessary tools available (i.e. chromosome browser), but, with luck, it can provide some helpful clues.
If you've got a few hundred bucks burning a hole in your pocket you might consider the long shot option of yDNA and/or mtDNA testing at FTDNA. If you're really lucky, and you do actually have a Dutch ancestor (rather than Dutch relatives with an English ancestor) and that Dutch ancestor is on either your all maternal or all paternal line you could hit pay dirt and narrow your search tremendously. Far more likely you'll narrow your search very modestly by learning that your all maternal and paternal lines are probably English. I'd go with yDNA first since mtDNA can go back so far as to not be very conclusive either way, particularly in attempting to differentiate between two such closely connected populations (while my yDNA is clearly Irish, my mtDNA produced a mix of matches from the British Isles and Scandinavia, not surprisingly).
Finally, there are some tools at GEDmatch that claim to allow you to analyze the ethnicity of a specific segment of your DNA. You could give them a try to see if the segment(s) where you match Dutch relatives appear any more Dutch than the rest of the chromosome. I haven't had much luck with those tools personally but I've seen cases where others claimed some measure of success using them. Once again differentiating between Dutch and English DNA is probably challenging at best.