Ruth Iset (Parker) McArthur (1881 - 1966)

Born 5 Nov 1881 in Eltham, Kent, England

Ancestors

Wife of James Frederick McArthur — married 12 Apr 1906 in Durban, South Africa

Descendants

Died 30 Jul 1966 at age 84 in Durban, South Africa

Biography

Ruth was born in Eltham, Kent after the Census of 1881. Her father George Parker had been employed by James Todman, a well-to-do businessman at Foots Cray in Kent. When he took up with Todman's daughter Ellen, he was fired and Ellen, having defied her father by continuing her relationship with George, was disinherited. Ruth said that this embittered her mother for many years. George and Ellen were married and had six children. Their eldest son. George, seems to have had some quarrel with his father, and left home at an early age. George was working as Gatekeeper at a big Estate in Chislehurst and his family lived in the Gatekeeper's Lodge there. Ruth worked at the big house, first as a nurserymaid, the as kitchenmaid. While there she met James McArthur, who was the local policeman. Somewhere along the line she learned how to cook, and subsequently was employed as Cook with a family in Beckenham.

James and Ruth had a son, Donald. James had gone to Mashonaland as a Trooper on a fixed-term (three years?) contract. In about 1902 Ruth and Donald went out to Durban in Natal, South Africa, to join James, who was by then in the Durban Borough Police. Two more children were born in Durban, William in 1907 and Janet in 1908.

When James was promoted to Sergeant, the family moved to Greyville, Durban. During the First World War Donald was a pupil at Glenwood High School. He and some of his school pals joined the Army, probably thinking that it would be a Great Adventure. For some reason James did not prevent this, although Donald was only fifteen years of age. Ruth, Donald, Bill and Janet all went to England, where Donald did his military training and the others stayed with Ruth's sister Jo. Soon after going to France on duty, Donald was reported 'Missing'. Ruth and the children returned to South Africa. Naturally, what had happened to Donald affected all members of the family.

James left the Police in about 1923 and took a lease on the Plough Hotel in Ixopo, 100 miles inland from Durban. James ran the Bar and Hotel, Bill acted as Barman and taught himself Accounting, and Ruth ran the housekeeping and kitchen at the Hotel. She advertised for an African assistant cook. When she asked one confident individual what experience of cooking he had he replied: "You show me how today - me cook tomorrow Missus!" He got the job. Among other activities, the Hotel catered for Dances at the Agricultural Hall, which was directly across the main road.

When the hotel was destroyed by fire in about 1932, the family moved back to Durban, to ranch's Hotel in Greyville, where James was the Lessee. Once again, Ruth ran the housekeeping and kitchen, but this time with more skilled assistance in the form of an Indian man, whom we knew only as Chef, and an Indian woman who ran the laundry. The waiters were Indian men, of whom I remember only Tommy. The rooms were serviced by Zulu men. James used to buy fish brought to the hotel by Indian men who went fishing in the early mornings (it was light in Durban in summer from about 4:45 am) before their main occupations.

During the War, in about 1940, James bought a house at Field's Hill, about 20 miles inland from Durban, and Ruth, Sheila and Sandy lived there. Phyllis, Bill's wife, was in hospital much of the time, and died in 1943. Sandy was at boarding school, and Bill lived at Ranch's. James commuted in his brown two-door Chevrolet with a load-carrying section in place of the dickey seat.

After the war the family moved back into Durban to a house in Sydenham Road. James dug up the clay tennis court and planted vegetables, while Ruth grew carnations which she sold to a florist in Durban. Ruth was a good cook, and had a hand-written recipe book with loose pages covered in egg, gravy, flour etc. Specialties were braised steak and carrots, fudge and many others. On one occasion, after a hearty dinner of steak and carrots, James wiped the last of his gravy with a piece of bread, ate the bread, and announced: "The cat can have what I've left!" Poor Tufty, the ginger cat, wouldn't have got a lick in.

When the family decided that it was too much for Ruth to continue in the house, she, James and Sheila moved to nearby Kilburn Private Hotel. The accommodation there must have felt very cramped, and they were not happy there.

In about 1953 James and Ruth moved in with Cyril and Janet. Another room was built onto the house, but, once again, this must have felt rather cramped.

As a younger woman Ruth had had a good singing voice. She disapproved of the singers of the 1950s who were described as 'golluping' or 'hollering'.

Ruth passed away in 1966. ^[1]

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Sources

1. ↑ First-hand information as remembered by Ian McArthur, Thursday, February 26, 2015. Replace this citation if there is another source.