I was born December 10, 1957 in Seattle, WA, the third of seven children, one two daughters of Richard Nicholas and Shirley May (Ellis) Maestas. My only sister being the eldest. I was born at Virginia Mason Hospital in Seattle, King Co. Washington and our family lived in Federal Way, WA at the time of birth.
Just shy of kindergarten, I became the target of my fathers attention (of a sexual nature), which continued for a couple years as best I can recollect. With a decent size wooded area across the street, I would venture off alone for peace, searching out the elusive lavender flowers where white ones were more common. I also found solitude in the little log fort my brothers constructed in those woods.
A move to Spanaway, WA brought a new world, free of my fathers attentions. I tried to keep a low profile as to not draw attention to myself, becoming the silent child. I don't believe we lived there long, I only remember a fraction of 5th grade, the rest of the year was spent in Scottsdale, Arizona at Apache Elementary. It was a short, sometimes hot walk to school where I began to develop friendships. I recall reaching out to one of my new friends in conversation, trying to understand the sexual attention I had received from my father when I was younger. I wanted to know if it was normal, since it didn't feel right. I discovered it was not normal and it was in fact, wrong. Life went on and my relationship with my father remained fractured, we rarely spoke. One summer we were blessed with an unexpected visit from two of my cousins that lived in Colorado. They were young men, and I saw then as hero's. My father enjoyed showing his superiority with his sons by the occasional wrestling match. I felt he was threatened by the cousins and began wrestling with them. He was humiliated at his lack of strength when it came to the cousins. He began a more physical attack and was overpowered by the cousins. It was a happy feeling to see him put in his place for once. I'm not sure the year, I believe I may have been in 8th grade, it was just before my sister got pregnant.
I was a skinny youngster until the summer before high school, I was working on losing that padding when my father pointed out that I was fat, that my face was chubby. I continued to work towards my weight loss goal, and I succeeded, even with the stresses of moving and changing high schools twice.
It was my junior year and I was attending high school in Flagstaff, Arizona. I made friends fast, but they were not to my fathers liking. Especially my Mexican boyfriend. My father was staying weekdays in a travel trailer with my older brother in the construction company's yard in Mesa and my mother was making trips back and forth from our residence in Flagstaff to our new home in Mesa. My mother informed me I would be joining my father and brother, it was my fathers' wish. I recall not being able to register for school in Scottsdale with my brother, I remained in the trailer cooking for them. One evening, my father instructed my brother to go visit his girlfriend. He said she was studying for tests, but father insisted. After he left, my father asked me to sit beside him on the bed he was reclining on in the front of the trailer. He began to tell me of how he had to keep my mother pregnant to keep her at home, that she was not faithful. He even began to tear up, so I touched his shoulder and express my concern. At this point he began to assault me sexually, raping me. I went from hesitant to fight him to punching and kicking. I broke free and in just a night shirt I ran from the trailer, around the shop, and into the yard of heavy equipment. I climbed into a loader and stayed there until my brother returned. Sneaking to the trailer window to listen, I overheard my father say we got in a fight and when my brother said he'd go talk to me, my father said give me some time, and they went to dinner. I got dressed, put my belongings into the camper parked nearby and scaled the chain link and barbed wire fence to freedom. I ended up hitchhiking to my sisters place also in Mesa. Her roommate greeted my and introduced me to marijuana while I waited for my sister to get off work. The next morning I told her what happened and with disbelief, she drove me to the shop, having me crouch on the floorboard while she spoke with our father. She returned and said he's acting odd. I stayed with my sister for 3 days, then my brother showed up with instructions to take me to Flagstaff. Upon arriving I discovered my mother was on her way to Mesa. Eventually she returned and I cried to her what happened, she slapped my face and called me a liar. Nothing more was said. Nothing until my father came to Flagstaff and in the evening called for me to come walk on his back. My mother informed him it is no longer my job, to get the boys to do it. I guess she believed me deep down. I hadn't started my period, so there was a good chance I wouldn't get pregnant. I lived with the rape, I lived with the fact that no one cared what happened to me. Living in Mesa, I was attending school in Tempe, starting school half way through my junior year. I don't recall the timeline, but my father offered me a white truck he had and a bank account that would always have money if I would disappear. I knew little of living, I wanted to stay at home. Before the end of my senior year my father wanted me to go with him, his friend Rob, and my older brother to Alaska to work on the pipeline. He said I could make a lot of money and relocate anywhere I wanted. I chose to go, but on my terms in a way. My father was loving the attention of his much younger friend, Rob and he had eyes for me. I enjoyed taking the attention away from my father, and continued to do so. I didn't make any money in Alaska, positions I was offered were too dangerous in my fathers eyes. But I remained in a relationship with Rob, even having sex with him while my father was driving. to be continued....
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