- Profile
- Images
Location: Melbourne, Victoria, Australia
Surname/tag: Dunedin
Journals Index
J.H. Watmuff Profile
Prologue
1 1856-05-01 (Bendigo, Dunolly, Sandy Creek (Tarnagulla), Loddon , (Mt. Hope Hoax), Ararat, Chinamans Flat, Moonlight Flat, Mt William (trek with Aboriginal guide), Pleasant Creek (Stawell), Melbourne).
2 Bendigo Melbourne 1862 Otago N.Z. (1859-07-17)
3 Otago (1862-09-11)
4 Otago (1863-07-26) to Melbourne 1865
5 Melbourne 1865-11-12
6 Melbourne 1866-03-04
7 Melbourne 1869-03-28
8 Melbourne 1870-06-12 to April 1876
9 Melbourne 1876-06 to 1880-09-07
10 Dribs & Drabs 1881-02-16 to 1882-06
11 Sydney & Misc. 1884
12 Lusitania Voyage 1887-05-27
13 Lusitania Voyage 1887-05-30
14 Lusitania Voyage 1887-06-26
15 Lusitania Voyage 1887-07-01
16 and 17 England, letters and Journal 1887-07-14
18 Garonne return Voyage 1887-09-27
19 Resignations 1888-05-28 to 1892 Nov.
See Bert Watmuff's letters about the family
20 (Journal 19) Mildura 1893-05-06
21 Genealogies from 1738 to 1889
22 New Zealand Essays
J.H. & Bessie Watmuff's Photos
Olive Watmuff's Photos
JOURNAL 4
4/1 |
4/2 |
4/3 |
812
Journal
Kept by John Henry Watmuff
Dunedin, (Otago , New Zealand), & Melbourne
from
July 27th 1863 to [November 5th] 186[5].
4/4 |
Memo [Sunday, 26 July 1863] Dunedin, Otago. N.Z July 27th [26th] 1863
Weather, been very wretched, nothing but rain, mist & fog dirty streets, sloppy walks Etc & many other inconveniences to contend with of a like character, in this glorious place
More changes, since, I last wrote, in my affairs, query, are they for the better. I’ll take the benefit of the doubt & try & think so. Last week finding travelling & canvassing for a printer was anything but a payable game, having only made a few shillings by the orders I received, I accepted an offer from Mr Field the Grocer to travel two days of the week for him. I made my first assay in the Grocery Line this week, furnished with a long list of the stock & the prices attached, a day beforehand. I went into the quiet places & made a monomanic study of my list & when I commenced I was pretty well posted up in the thing & could talk shop like an old hand. Tuesday & Thursdays the days I travelled, the rest of the week I devoted to my other master, the printer, earning from him something like 4/6 over my board which rather dishearted me. I receive 5/. a day from Field & a slight commission so I made about a guinea for the week. I was knocking about during the week & I fell in with an old acquaintance of mine named Waldbeeke, a Frenchman, he had, like myself, been unlucky on the diggens & left them in disgust, came to Dunedin looked for work & couldnt get any, & having some well to do connections in St America "Valpariso" he was determined to go there, more especially as there was a Brig sailing for there to day he & I talked the thing over & seeing little prospect of doing anything here, I agreed to go with him, if we could get a Berth on board, he is a sailor & I have some knowledge of a ship or what I dont know could easily learn, the Capt has been advertising for a Crew so I changed my clothes, on Friday afternoon putting
4/5 |
814
on my old moleskins & Blue Serge shirt which Id
still by me, & we presented ourselves at the shipping
office. Walbeeke showed the Captain his last discharge
& he was shipped as an Able Seaman. I not having a
discharge had to "spin a yarn" how I had made several
voyages, so I had, little ones, on the coast, but not having
any intention of following up a seafaring life I had
neglected to procure mine from the last ship I sailed in
"The Sarah & Esther" at length I was shipped as ordinary
seaman on Board the Brig "Guatemala" bound for S. America
We were to get on board the following morning at Day
Break, Walbeeke went on board at once.
I going also, but not having my "kit" ready, I left him
to go for it, & so all was settled & I was in a fair way
of leaving the land of my adoption bent on seeking my
fortune in another quarter of the Globe. I was returning
home to Watsons for my things & dictating in my mind
letters to Mother & my brother Ned when I met Mr
Field. I informed him I was leaving Otago & should
not be able to travel for him anymore, we had a long
conversation together & he was very sorry I was going
for I had given him satisfaction during the short time I had
worked for him, having been very successful in procuring
him the custom of some good families, he at length
made me an offer of 30/. per week & my board &
lodging which is equal to that sum in Dunedin -
I hesitated some time about it, for I knew nothing of
the business, & the hours are very long from 7 am to
9 pm & on Saturdays till 11 & 12 pm. however, I came
to the conclusion that I had better accept it, for I
should pick up a knowledge of the business, which
would be a more legitimate thing than anything I
am acquainted with & besides, I should also get &
acquire business habits which would gradually wean
4/6 |
815
me from the Monomania I have been this many years
I am to commence on my new occupation in the
morning (Monday) On parting with Field, I went to
Watson & told him was going to leave him, he was
very sorry to part with me, for we liked each other
& Mrs. & Mr W. had began to look upon me as one of
the family. Walbeeke came ashore in the evening to call
for me to go on board with him. I informed him of
my new projects, & told him to throw the Capt off my
scent, if, he would have me, I having signed articles
& rendered myself his property, & so we parted, he did
what I wished & had the pleasure of seeing the vessel
sail away this morning. I longed to be on board &
I believe if the ship hadnt sailed so early in the day I
should have gone on her. I felt in such an unsettled
& uncertain state of mind, arising from the ever
craving desire for excitement & change so inherant
in ones nature who has long followed a gold diggers
life, what a trifling circumstance changes a mans
destiny. I was never more struck with the force of the
idea than as exemplified in my own case, in
connection with the proceeding events I have been relating -
I left Watsons yesterday morning & took up my quarters at Murdocks where I am to lodge, Field not being able to accommodate me in his own house, for some weeks. Saturday afternoon I earned 5/. chopping up a load of wood & doing some little jobs at Haggatts the Solicitor, better than being idle - in the evening I went to the Theatre, saw George Coppin play "Paul Pry" I met a Manuherikia acquaintance, Sargent, who has just come down, tells me the River Molyneux is higher than ever & nearly everybody is leaving it
This morning I went to the Roman Catholic Chapel to witness High Mass, it is the first time I ever witnessed the ceremonies of the Romish Church, which
4/7 |
816
I must say are very grand especially when accompanied
with good music as on this occasion, but however a
being possessed with a grain of common sense can
be influenced by a religion of such a ritualistic discription
surprises me. I observed a priest walking up & down the
aisles with a Fire Billy full of water in one hand & an
ordinary looking paint brush in the other, which
he every now and again put into the water & then
sprinkled over the people & it was most absurd to see
the way the poor heathens tried to catch the falling
drops. I objected to receiving a shower Bath & when
he came near where I was sitting I drew my coat
over my shirt collar & front to save the starch -
Washing is very dear in Dunedin, I paid 9d for my
only white shirt to be got up - I went to dinner
at Malanders & had tea at Dick Hills where I met
H.Dight, after tea took a strool together parted at 8 Pm
& made for our respective homes -
I forgot to mention I have
seen Miss Morley several times during the week
Mrs. Watson I fancy has some designs on me
with regard to her couzin, who by the by, is one
of the loveliest little women I ever met. Tuesday night
I was keeping house Mr. & Mrs W. being out & Lizzie
called & a pleasent evening we spent together all alone
its very hard to keep heartwhole when our affections
are not engaged, & being of a susceptible temperament
I found it rather hard to keep from getting sentimental
I saw her home & the night being dark I had all
the romance drenched out of me, by the rain which
fell in torrents on my way home wetting me through
she lives some two miles from the head of MLaggan
St. the road being narrow & running through a very
lonely gully & up hill all the way, so much for
young ladies, now for bed & another existence
in Dreamland -
4/8 |
817
Dunedin August 2nd 1863
Regular N.Z. weather during the winter months, rain hail frost & snow, no pleasure in being abroad, in fact no one thinks of going out except on business it is a common thing to see a lady walking about, when its fine overhead, as it generally is in the mornings, beautifully dressed, but with a pair of top Boots on her feet & short petticoats coming very little below the knees, & one sees on these occasions such a display of legs & ankles -
I commenced on my new duties last Monday morning. I got on far better than I thought I should half of my time is taken up travelling for orders & soliciting patronage Etc the rest of the time I am kept in the shop assisting the other shopman, a nice young chap Beckingsale, in serving the customers - I often get laughed at by them, by the awkward manner, I have in wrapping up parcels. I cannot get ½ lb of tea & coffee & other things in the papers that are cut for them I always have to take the next size larger & so on - but every body must have a beginning, & I dare say Ill soon be equal for this sort of thing. Field likes me to keep travelling that is what he principally engaged me for. I like the business very well if we had not such infernal long hours. When the days work is over, perhaps after travelling over many miles of country around the hills which surround the town & where the bulk of the population live or reside Im terribly knocked up & am glad to get to my bed. No time for recreation for when we put up our shutters its time to go to bed & not go out visiting, it was 12 pm last night when we closed, which on doing we found Mrs. F had provided a
4/9 |
818
nice supper for us. I was too tired to enjoy it, received my
salary which with the commission amounted to £2
making my situation worth about £3.5.0 per week
Field pays 7/. per week for my lodgings at Murdocks -
I am getting uneasy about my brother Ned, not receiving a letter from him for such a time. I suppose poor fellow he is doing nothing & dont like writing until he sees of some chance of getting into something remunerative. I shall send for him to come to town now Im settled, he might get a job here & if not my salary will keep him during the winter months. Things are very dull just now, being the middle of a severe winter There are great numbers in town hanging out waiting for new rushes to break out & in the meantime many are living like the chameleon, on air, or next thing to it there is [not] a quarter of them at work nor is it procurable. I have to put many off I know, who are continually pestering me for the loan of a few shillings. It is very hard to refuse to lend, or give, a man money to procure a meal - but Im often under the necessity of doing so, much against my nature - Harry Dight is working at his trade I often see him This morning we went to hear Dr Burns preach, he is a nephew of the great poet & resembles him in appearance, judging from the portraits I have seen of him, the Dr was partly with the Cargills the Founder of this colony, he is a fine venerable looking old Scotchman & is beloved & respected by all classes here. I saw Jessie Mollison at Church with John Nevin. I believe they are to be married shortly, at last. I did not speak to them but when in Church I was struck by a singular coincidence, one of the psalms
4/10 |
819
sung, was one Jessie & I used to sing a
portion of as duet when we belonged to Mr. Nishs
choir on Bendigo years ago. The last Sunday previous
to her leaving there we sang it & I have not heard it
since until this morning, the congregation didnt seem
to know it well & when the Duet part came in, she took
up her old part I was sitting two seats behind her & it
came at once to my memory, & I let out & the harmony
was first rate, at its conclusion she being surprised looked
round & we smiled & recognised each other - tho I had
not an opportunity of speaking afterwards dare say
we shall meet before long - Nevin is exceedingly
jealous & never introduces or takes her anywhere
where she might meet any one, he fancies she likes
After dinner, I called at Campbells they were out but I found I.Hallowell there, he has just come from Victoria I used to know him well & was very intimate with him on Bendigo, on parting with him I took a walk, being a fine day, up by the Barracks and along the top of the range of hills - the view of the Bay & shipping & the Pacific Ocean in the distance was truly grand - returned at sunset, had tea at a Cafe, went afterwards to Melanders found him out spent the evening with Minnie Crawford who is still living at the Baths & assists in the establishment. I think she is very fond of Charlie, but he does not appear to appreciate her partiality, poor creature, it seems a pity such a pretty goodnatured thing as she is should be deserted by her husband & lead the life she has done. I dont think she is above 20 years of age. I knew her husband years ago in Melbourne & also in Wetherstones, where he was engaged as pianist at DeLora’s & became enamoured with a girl living there, & eventually took her to himself & lived as man & wife, while their acquaintance was forming. Minnie Crawford his wife was on the way from Melbourne to join him
4/11 |
820
On her arriving here, she staid in some boarding
house & not having any money she sent up word to
him for to send her some. The only acknowledgement she
received was that he had left the place with a
girl who passed for his wife, hard up & ill with
not a friend & being pretty, temptations soon came
in her way & she became what she is, a fallen angel.
Charlie has been a good friend to her & tho he says he
has never had improper connection with her, but always
gives her a home when she wants one
August 9th 1863
Miserable weather, getting more accustomed to my
new vocation. I should like it well but for the long
hours. I went to the Theatre on Tuesday night
saw Clarence Holt in Richelieu Miss Aitken as
Julia, it was 9.30 when I got there so I only
saw the last three acts. I heard Dr Burns
this morning, took a walk about town in the
afternoon. Spent the evening at Hills, met H.Dight
his job only lasted a few days. I hope he will get
into something constant. I have not felt well
the last few days, slight attack of fever & ague
August 16th 1863 Been horrible weather, snowing one day, thawing & perhaps raining the next, not half the streets in Dunedin being macadamised the roads & by ways are nearly impassable, our orders we receive for Groceries we have to carry out on our back, our storeman not being able to do the work himself I didnt fancy doing it, but when I saw Field himself starting away with a Basket load I did not
4/12 |
821
hesitate, being a work of necessity. I have
been very unwell with a severe cold & violent
headache, if I had a home I would not
have gone to work cold feet & dirty muddy clothes
& long hours & no rest knocks up a fellow -
We cant get a man to stay above a month at
at a time, usually leave, worn out, or tired of the job
I received a letter from Fred & another from Bessie, she is very comfortable & happy at Mr Dewars. Freds letter gave me the Blues things at home are not in a prospering state I long & yet dread to hear from Mother. I dont expect to do so until I have written to her & Im not inclined to do so until I have some money to spare to send her Ive made up my mind to leave this colony as soon as I can save a few pounds Stg enough to carry me over, every shilling Ive as yet earned Ive spent in necessaries with very trifling exceptions. I have no clothes fit to stand such inclement weather as we have had, & to procure them will cost me all I earn for some weeks to come - I received a letter from Mr Halley, he informs me Isa King is married to a Mr Lay of Castlemaine. I trust he is worthy of her for I know of no woman more capable of rendering a man happy than Isa. I should feel proud if ever I should get a wife, tho’ she was far from being perfection, there were many things in Isa’s I didnt admire, but to do her justice I never met her equal. Whether I ever shall is questionable - I was fond of her loved her
4/13 |
822
as any boy ever loved a girl
I was astonished yesterday by my old friends Christy Foyne & Alf Peel paying me a visit. They had just arrived in town from the Manuherikia, having disposed of their business some time back there - but what was my astonisment when they informed me that Jenny Woodhoouse had come to town with them having left a good situation to do so in their company, with the purpose so they stated of seeing me - submit to all the hardships & privations of such a journey. I could not leave my business to go with them but promised to call the next day (today Sunday) on them. I went after breakfast. Jenny was frantic at seeing me, & into [fell] into my arms in the most melodramatic style, I can’t say I was pleased at that sort of thing. We had a long serious conversation together & I gave her to understand I had no notion of living with her, she was very hurt at what she termed my coolness, she has spent all the money she had saved, in her expenses down & buying clothing Etc - she informs me her board is paid for the coming week, & she now intends looking out for a situation - I think I can get her one, I must do what I can for her as its my own folly getting entangled in such a manner I must suffer the consequences. What a silly thing a woman is who lets her passion get the better of her discretion O' how I could love such a fond devoted woman were she what she ought to be, if I was alone in the world with no one [to] throw discredit by upon my doings I fancy I could make a good woman of her in taking her to myself in spite [of] all the spots & blemishes upon her, she is really beautiful
4/14 |
823
& some 2 or 3 years younger than myself but
lacks a great disserative tact, talent she has, but
whats talent without tact, a lovely flower severed
from its stem - I wish Id never seen her, when
will I ever learn to acquire a little sense -
I went to the theatre on Wednesday night to hear the Celebrated Christy Minstrels who are at present on a Tour round the principal towns in the Australian colonies. I never listened or heard such splendid singing before. I was rather disappointed at their individual voices except the Principal Tenor Stewart, who has the best voice I ever heard but the perfect harmony of their voices in concerted music was something to remember nothing has ever been heard like it in N.Z.
[Sunday, 20 September 1863]
Sept 12th 1[20th]863
How time flies. I had given up all idea of
continuing a journal any longer, it being nearly
five weeks since I wrote last, for on looking
over my journal I find there are many portions
of my life where Ive been led away by surrounding
circumstances into the committal of many errors
of judgement & done & been guilty of many acts
that does not reflect much credit upon me -
Ive had so many vile associations & being away
& free from social restrictions I have indulged
in excesses of not the highest moral order
& find Ive glossed over in my journal many
passages of my life that I should have made stand
out prominent to serve me as a lesson in
the future & to avoid falling into the
committal of the same again - my life perhaps
4/15 |
824
considering the many temptations, & privations &
associations will perhaps bear as favourable a comparison
to others who have not been so situated as myself
who have no excuse in plunging into sin & crime
& having kept a journal so long I do not like
to destroy it & yet if I keep it, it must ever be
a reproach to me - as not containing the whole
truth although there is nothing in it that is not so,
without even the slightest tinge of colouring -
If I do anything Im ashamed about, I dont like
to relate it if I want to record anything thats
to my credit, I call myself egotist & refrain
so it is not so easy to keep a conscientious
journal even of ones own life, however now I
have started i[t] once more Ill endeavour to keep
it for a while longer - I have stated it is five
weeks since I last wrote, it is not difficult
to recall to memory how my time has been
spent, suffice it to state, that for 15 hours a day
Im engaged in the Shop, going out for orders
returning, making them up, & sending them
out to their destinations wet or dry, hail or rain
the same thing the same round of monotonous
work. Im getting to be quite a smart shopman
can tie up a parcel of Tea as well as anyone -
I left Murdocks, again, last night. Mrs. F
has been confined of a little boy & I am for the
future to lodge in the house viz. a stretcher
which is brought into the shop when the
shutters are up, a most unwholesome bedroom
4/16 |
825
fragrant with the perfume of cheese & bacon & other
highly flavoured edibles. I wonder Field is not
ashamed to expect a man to live in such a style
I would rather be as I was when I left the shop
I could do what I like, but now I must tell
him when I go out & he has to sit up for me
until I return, he always likes to see every one
in bed. Mrs. F. told me all this. I do dislike
her she is a nasty cantankerous creature
tall & gaunt, with an angels face & a devils
heart, so soft & catlike in her mode of speech
but so like a tigress when she does not like
anyone, she is awfully mean & skinny in her
providing for us, she hates me, thinks Ive too
great influence over her husband & am far too
independant in my manner, she serves in the
shop sometimes during Fields absence & it
annoys her terribly to see the customers
prefer being served by me than her, after they
leave the shop she will come & rate me for
being too liberal & having too much to say
to them & all that sort of thing, which at
first annoyed me, now, it amuses me, she tells
F. I insult her & he talks to me & I explain
& all is right, he knows she would ruin
his business if she wasnt stopped, & she has
such influence over him that I pity him
sometimes for being so henpecked, she gives us
oatmeal porridge for breakfast, a little of it is
very good but every morning is rather too
much & I objected, one day I saw a pan of
bacon on the fire, so I went & helped myself
to a rasher or two, it had been cooked for
4/17 |
826
their breakfast & not for the shopmens & she came
out in a towering passion & abused me terribly
I stood it quietly for a short time eating away, she
standing by with the dish in her hand when I
rose from my feet & very deliberately helped
myself to another rasher from the dish
in her hand, she was speechless with range &
went into her own room, on Field coming in I
told him all about it & gave his notice to
leave, he wouldnt hear of it, but he promised his
wife should not interfere with me anymore
& on that condition, I agreed to remain & he now
sees that we have different provisions made for us
breakfasts. The other meals we have together
They are not very sociable for after the shop is
closed, they sit together in a snug little room
while I sit in one that is used for dining
room & kitchen in company with the servant
a little chubby Cornish girl & as ugly as a woman
can be, my sight will not permit me to read
without using glasses, which I have had to obtain
if [I] use them for more than half an hour at a
time they make my head ache. I often help
Field with his "Books" do all the posting Etc
he means to make over the Book Keeping to me
shortly, altogether. I shall take fine care I do
the work during the day & not after shop
hours as he does - What a long dissertation
on the shop & my master & "missus"
I have received no letter from Ned since I last
wrote, but I have heard that he is at present
living over the Umbrella Ranges, "Old Man"
at a diggins lately discovered called Campbells Crest
4/18 |
827
& that he & party are at present snowed in
along with a number of other parties in the
same locality, & that all communication is
stopped between there & the Dunstan. I hope
to God they have a good stock of provisions. I am
& shall be very uneasy about him until I
hear of his safety, more especially as I hear
nearly every day of parties being lost in the
snow there. Many bodies have been discovered
of people who have perished having lost their
way in snow storms. I wrote to Mr Halley
& also to my brother Fred. I cant write to mother
until I hear something of Ned. Jenny is still
in town. I paid for her two weeks board & lodging
at the Geelong Boarding House, until about three
weeks ago, she got a situation the other end of
the town. I was very glad she got one, knowing
the people I know she will be comfortable. I
have not been to see her since she entered upon
her duties but I have received a note from her
nearly every other day. I replied to one, very briefly
I hear there is some fellow who is greatly smitten
with her & came down from the Dunstan on purpose
to push his suit, he wants to marry her. I
strongly recommend her to accept him, he knows
nothing of her antecedents & thinks she has
never been married, owing to my neglect or
coolness I think she will accept him I would
not be surprised if she does. I must go &
see her this evening last Sunday night I went
to tea at Hills, spent a jolly evening there flirting
with Sarah & another young lady. Met H.Dight
poor devil he is out of work again, he is thinking
4/19 |
828
of going to Queenstown on the Lakes & join his
brother Jack & Rowitt. I advise him not to do so until
the winter is over say in another 6 weeks. This
morning, as per advertisement, I went to witness
Grand Mass in the Roman Catholic Chapel, the
performance consisting of the usual holy show
& the Christy Minstrels being engaged to sing
Mozart 12th Mass, the latter part of the
entertainment was truly grand & beautiful I shall
never forget the treat as long as I live. Stewart
the Tenor & Rainford the Bass, with Moloyn
being the principal vocalists I have often heard
tell of this mass & I have heard some of the music sung
before but it failed to excite anything like enthusiasm
in me, but to day I could perceive the
beauties of this finest of the great composers pieces
I had to pay 1/. for admittance, & the place was
crowded, even the building outside the walls was
hemmed in with people
[Sunday, 4 October 1863]
Dunedin October 1863
About a fortnight since I continued my journal
& to state the truth I have very little inclination
to continue it, for my life has so much sameness
about it that the continual recital of
my present mode of existence makes it a
most uninteresting task & another reason is
I have so little time to call my own that I
begrudge the time it takes to write the
little I do. I have often heard people say
they haven't much time. I thought it all
nonsense, but I now find there are some
4/20 |
829
in the world who have only time to devote
to business & none for pleasure or recreation
'tis very late when we close & having no place
where I can be by myself makes my present
existence nearly unbearable as to think of
improving my mind, thats quite out of the
question Ive given up the idea & so vanishes
the fairest hope I had in abandoning my
hitherto nomadic life. I’ve not read a page
of a book or even a newspaper since living
with Field I feel I am an exemplification of
of the old adage All work & no play makes Jack
a dull boy I am getting dull & stupid, cannot con-
-verse or dis[ser]tate with half the vigour &
force I could when mixing with some of the bright
spirits I met & associated with on the Dunstan
In my last entry I stated I was going to see
Jenny. I did so & found her just married or
else living with the person I alluded to, they
took handsome furnished lodgings not far from
here, tho’ I did not know her whereabouts till
last Tuesday when I received a short note
from her stating she wished to see me very
particularly so after closing the shop I visited
her found her in most comfortable quarters
she seemed very sad & melancholy & was not well,
her reason for wanting to see me was to break
to me as she thought, the news of my
brother Neds death - she had received a note
from some one on the Dunstan & in it was an
account of his being lost in the snow storm –
it is needless to state how shocked & greived
I was, but a reaction took place which compelled
my grief as follows before leaving the shop
Field gave me a letter, being dark I hadnt
observed the writing or opened it, while at
4/21 |
830
Jennys I did so & found it bearing a later date
than hers, in fact it was from Ned, who was
alive & well. It appears the two letters I had
written to Ned were a/d the P.O. Manuherikia
Ned at the time was snowed in Campbells, but his
mate managed to get from the place & found his
way to the township Ned had requested him to
call at the P.O. which he did, & got my letters the
man in company with an old friend of mine
named Bullock endeavoured to find their way
back to Campbells, in doing so, it came on to
snow, & night coming on, the[y] lost sight of their
land marks & getting bewildered they lost them-
-selves among the Umbrella Ranges. Neds mate
got knocked up & could not wander further & sat
down requesting Bullock to leave him & try
& save himself. Bullock states he carried & dragged
him for miles, until nearly exhausted he was compelled
to leave him to his fate & there on some spot
unknown lies poor Nicholas the Dane - I knew
him well. Bullock after the most incredible suffering
found himself at the *lonely tent of some prospector
the following evening, having lost through the
frost some of his toes & three fingers, he is now
in the Dunstan Hospital, my letters are now in
the possession of the dead man - an a/c of the
circumstances appeared in the papers since. -
Many people on the Dunstan thought it was Ned
that was lost for what reason I knew not –
& so it came that Jennys correspondant made
the mistake & wrote in such a manner. Ned is
now on the Dunstan, having made his escape
from Campbells one clear day in company with
another mate, who was nearly sharing the fate
of Nicholas, getting cold & numbed he wanted
to fall asleep. Ned had some difficulty he
4/22 |
831
states in keeping him moving, he thinks Nicholas's
body wont be found until the summer sets in & the
snow melts off the mountains. Campbells is
situated where Nelson & I once went out on a
prospecting tour on the occasion of the river
Molyneux first rising shortly after our arrival
in that neighbourhood Wednesday night after
closing the shop I went to see how Jenny was she
not being well when I called on her the night before
found her very unwell staid all night with her
nursing & giving her medicine Etc. she is living
alone, her husband, or whoever he is, having
left her & gone to the diggins. I think he has left
her for good. I am sorry for her for I know
it was only in a fit of spleen, that she *accompanyed
him & he, knowing she didnt love him left two days
afterwards I dont know what she purposes doing,
being a good needlewoman I have no
doubt she will turn her attention to what
she is capable of doing - Enclosed in Neds letter
was one from my sister Mary that he had received
about a month ago she wishes we were both
back again in Victoria, not half so anxiously
as we do ourselves for we are not
doing anything at present or see any chance of
doing so, to tempt us to remain in this province
for my own part I cannot send any money to
mother, my own expenses & having no clothes
& wanting so many little necessaries I am
always short of money. I mean to leave
this place as soon as I can save up a
few pounds to enable me to return home
decently. Last Sunday afternoon Tom Downs
& Harry Dight & I took a walk, visited several
4/23 |
832
acquaintances, after which we took a boat & crossed
the pretty Bay of Otago landed at the foot of a
flight of steps which on ascending led us to a
the top of [a] hill, beautifully situated & nearly surrounded
by water. The grounds are nicely laid out in some
parts & are called the Vauxhall Gardens, a
beautiful view is obtained from this place
that well repays one for a visit after partaking
of some refreshment & having had a pleasent chat
with a pretty Barmaid, we returned arrived
in town about 8.Pm, called at Jones & had
tea there, then rambled about the streets till
nearly 11 pm
[Sunday, 11 October 1863]
Dunedin Oct 12th.[11th] 1863
Lovely weather the fore part of the week – but it came on to rain on Friday & we have had nasty times since. Tuesday & Wednesday I spent very pleasently, being slack in the shop I went to see if I could do anything amongst the Farmers, Tuesday, I went out on the Teire Road & was’nt very successful, the next day I had quite a treat, saddled my horse & with a few samples, I rode out to Andersons Bay, did not stay long there, but pushed on to the "Tomahawk Vally" the road laying along the seaside made it very pleasent, visited a number of Scotch families "Old Identities" as they are called, found them very friendly & hospitable but very difficult to do business with, they have Butter & Eggs to sell & want a good price for them & yet haggle with me concerning the prices of my goods I at length came to terms with them got a lot
4/24 |
833
of good orders out of them. Friday, I spent in
taking them out in the Cart the road was a fearful
one & coming on to rain made it worse & my
horse jibbing every few yards nearly drove me
mad. Wet through, splashed with mud & tired
I reached home wishing the Tomahawk Vally
& its inhabitants at the North Pole
I wrote to Mother last Sunday & also to Bessie - H.Dight got into a good billet last week but left it to go to a better one some 35 miles from town on the Mungatuha Mountains he intends calling at the new gold field lately discovered on the Teiri River the rush has caused a great sensation in town great numbers have left town for there the reports are very encouraging. I wish Ned was near here so he might go & try his luck at it. I have got the "gold fever" on me a complaint I thought I was cured of, but no! here I am suffering from it & long to shoulder my swag & pick & shovel & have a try, & its only by a great effort I can refrain from following the bent of my inclination in this respect I can scarcely withstand the temptation, if Harry sends me favourable accounts of it I might go. Curse gold digging I say, there is an infatuation about it, nobody can understand but those who followed the occupation. God knows I have known privations & dangers in connection with it that ought to deter any sane man from becoming a gold digger
4/25 |
834
I wrote to my mother & also to my sister Bessie
last Sunday night. I got up early this morning
8.30, for Sabbath Day, took a strool along the
sea side, moralising over a copy of Youngs Night
Thoughts I had with me, called at a photographer
on my way home, & had my "phiz" with all
its marks & blemishes conveyed on glass, called
to see Jenny in the evening, the said portrait
tumbling out of my pocket, she picked it up
& nothing would induce her to give it up
& so went my 10s/- worth of vanity -
[Sunday, 18 October 1863]
Oct 17th.[18th] 1863
The weather has been truly wretched all the week & in my situation I get the full benefit of all the miseries attending the same, travelling for orders & then again delivering them, sometimes cannot get within a 1/4 of a mile of the houses & so have to load myself like a patient ass that I am with them on my back, no joke sometimes when I have a Sack of Flour to carry or a Bag of Potatoes Etc. Etc - Wednesday I went to the "Tomahawk" had a fine ride, fell in with a fine *dashing girl on the road, on horseback, she appeared to know me, & the road being lonely I got into conversation & soon became very intimate, she is a daughter of one of my customers & is known in the town & for miles around by the Sobriquet of "Bonnie Annie" (Henderson) she is the best rider the greatest flirt & wildest girl in Otago, not
4/26 |
835
more than 20 years of age a good bold handsome
face & a fine full figure, which figure could
be seen to advantage in her riding habit -
she told me I had been much spoken about in her
neighbourhood & admitted having come out for no
other purpose than to meet me, many would
have felt flattered by such an admission & I was
a little, but her railing I was not prepared for
she laughed & chaffed me about my bad horsemanship
asked me if I could box & fence *sevens Etc. which
I was not modest enough to deny. I seemed to get
more into favor & by the time we reached her
fathers farm we were as jolly as two lovers, her
mother told me she couldnt manage her, all
her sweethearts & admirers she drove away by her
Amazonian manner - & no wonder - on leaving
the place I wanted a kiss & for my pains I was
near getting a blow that might have felled
an ox I, by a dexterous move succeeded in catching
her hand & by screwing her arm round I rendered
her powerless & took half a dozen kisses from
her, she looked mortified & father & mother were
delighted & clapped their hands & praised my
pluck & so I left them, having to visit them yes-
-terday. I found her spiteful, & having a desire to
kiss her I tried it on & it was only after a
most severe struggle I got satisfied, having
to come into town & her horse being lame she
accompanied me in my "Trap" found her very
sociable & friendly, told me a lot about the various
beaus she’d had & how she had served them
Etc, she made me laugh about one she *scared
named Dodd, Andrew Smiths master who is
at present in England, he courted her for five
years & as a last resource adopted an old
4/27 |
836
ancient poets (Oved) advice flew to tears thinking
with them to melt her stony heart. This so
disgusted her she threatened to horse whip him if
he ever apd her again & so the poor gentleman
left the colony & I hear he has found a wife
since his absence & is on his way out with her
it would fill volumes were I to write down all she
told me & all I heard about this girl & her pranks
There is some beautiful scenery along the road &
she made me stop at many turnings wherever a
good view could be obtained - it was not very
nice after such a pleasent drive to have to
turn to & go behind the counter & dole out
parcels of groceries till 12 pm, but there is
nothing like mixing the sweets & bitters together
& take the pleasure & pain as philosophically
as possible, in this world, for taking our lives
throughout I think were we to keep a record of all
our pleasures & pains the majority of mankind
would find that more of the former falls to
our share than the latter, but we are so
fond of nursing our sorrows & afflictions & making
more of them than they deserve that is the
cause of much of mans repining. Pleasures
we take as a matter of course & think we
[are] justly entitled to all we can get, & we never
think of putting them in view of the reverse
& strike a balance - I received a long letter
from H.Dight, he is comfortably settled in
his new situation & is hard at work erecting
a Store or Hotel, he informs me the
4/28 |
837
Rush at Tieri is not much a/c, he
found very few doing well, but saw great numbers
walking about idle on the whole he winds
up by stating, I had better remain where I
am than venture on gold digging in
that quarter until something better breaks out
Novr.22nd 1863 A Month & more since I continued my journal my reason, I had no time, or when I had, had not the desire, & so I make excuses for the occasion but having kept a journal so many years I feel that I am neglecting a necessary duty by not continuing it, such is the power of habit. The duty is not always a pleasent one, for on referring back it brings to my mind many unpleasent reminiscences of the by gones. My object in first comencing a diary was with the desire to improve myself mentally & I believe nothing has tended to do so more than this very thing & I would advise anyone who has not secured the advantages arising from a regular education when young, to adopt a similar plan. Nothing like writing much tends to improve one in their Caligraphy & Orthography far more in my opinion than reading - I have met many people who could converse well & some who could get upon a platform & deliver a good Lecture or address & are not able to sit down & write & dicate a letter that would bear inspection. But leave reflections & turn my attention to my duty & note down in some degree how time has passed or how I have passed my
4/29 |
838
share of it since I last wrote, I am still at
Fields the Grocers, George St. Shopman, Traveller
& Bookkeeper alternately, working away like
a poor drudge, longer hours than ever. I may
state in reference to long hours I have done
my utmost in endeavouring to get an
Early Closing Movement. I could get plenty of
sypathisers amongst my fellow sufferers, but
not enough working even to get up a Committee
to organise the thing, so I have given it up
in dispair having fully resolved to leave the town
of Dunedin with those who are satisfied with
their lot in it, to their fate - I have heard no-
-thing from Ned direct, last week I got a note
from Procter informing me he & Fowler were
working together on the Manuherikia, he states
my brother Ned had left the Molyneaux & had
gone up to "Foxes" to see Nelson & ascertain
if there was anything to be done in that locality
I hope poor fellow he will not come to grief
but that he may be fortunate to drop into
something that will repay him for all
his late illuck. I wrote to him addressing
the letter to Queenstown - I wish he was in
town near me. I have saved about £10.0.0
& in a short time I hope to have sufficient money
to take us both out of this infernal country
I received a long letter from Bessie, she is
still with Mrs. Dewer at Echuca, but from
the tenor of her diction I should infer she was
getting dissatisfied, & feels she is trespassing
4/30 |
839
on her kind friends good nature too much - to
such a degree that she is on the lookout for a
situation as a Nursing Governess Poor girl
I am sorry she is so situated as to have to do
anything of the kind at her age. I cannot bear
to think of it, it drives me mad to think I or
her brothers & not in a position to keep her
from having to take such a recourse for a
living, to fill up my cup of misery I recd
a long letter from my Mother, full of troubles
she is greatly in debt & is afraid of an execution
being put in the house. My sister Mary is very
unwell & her little school in consequence, is
falling away. Ive pondered well whether to send
what money I have to her, but after serious
consideration I have come to the conclusion
it is better to keep it until I hear from Ned
whether he is agreeable to leave with me, if
he is not, I shall return to Victoria alone
Jenny has been living in town at the same place until within the last fortnight. I went to see her often, she has recovered from her illness & looked as beautiful as ever, the person who I thought she married, proves to be some friend of hers who had known her for a long time & being under compliment to her was very kind & left her some money, he wants to marry her, but she does not like him well enough for that, however on his leaving Dunedin he went to the Dunstan & managed to get her a good situation there she left her. We had another affectionate parting, which I sincerely hope will be
4/31 |
840
the last of the series, she gave me a silver
hunting watch before going to keep as a
memento & so we parted good friends &
thoroughly understanding each other & the line of
conduct we are to pursue toward each other for
the future, if I never see her again I will always
think of her as the kindest, best natured, & the most
self sacrificing being I ever met, all she wanted
from me was to live ever near me & be, as
she often & in my opinion very foolishly
remarked become my ministering angel Etc
I know & feel I shall never meet another woman
so devoted & sincere in an attachment for me -
I got a note from her a few days since informing me
of her safe arrival & enclosed in it was £2.0.0
money I had lent her, or given it, for I never
expected it back again & had she been in town
I would not have taken it from her, for Ned
informed that many times he had gone into
Foynes Restaurant hungry & had no money or if he
had could ill spare it, & had his meals & she
being waitress there would never take money
from him, knowing how he was circumstanced
& she had to pay it out of her own pocket sometimes,
& any friends of mine who happened to
be "hard up" she would always give them a
meal out of regard for me - I have seen
several old acquaintances lately, J.Falder, Fawcett,
Wright, & others, they have been very unlucky lately
& purpose returning to Victoria. I was greatly
surprised
4/32 |
841
on Saturday last by seeing Frank Perring
come into the shop. I thought it was a ghost for
I had heard he was lost in the snow & a body
had been recovered resembling him so much that
several identified it as his cor[p]se - Poor fellow
when I saw him first footsore & weary he was
a fine manly handsome fellow, fatigue &
hardship attending life as a gold digger in
a severe climate like this has done its
work. Poor, thin, worn out & emaciated he came
to ask me for a few shillings to carry him
to Waikouitti where he hopes to get a job
to help to execute the new pier at present being
formed there, about 50 miles up the coast
from here. I gave him all the money I could
spare & also some few necessaries out of the
store, he told me on parting he knows of the
existence of a rich gully somewhere in
the Umbrella Ranges, but he cant get there
or at it for some months to come until
the snow clears away, he intends on his return
to let me know & we may go & work it together
he must have some foundation for his belief
for he is the last man I know capable of
telling me a falsehood or misleading one
in anyway - another surprise I had far
exceeding & more agreeable than the
previous one, I have experienced, about a month
ago, I was taking out a load of groceries
contained in a Basket which I had on
my head, it was a wet dark stormy night
& nearly 10 pm - when a man accosted me
4/33 |
842
by asking if I knew where Mr Fields shop
was. I told him I could show him the place –
which I did not being far from it at the time
he then asked me if I new J.H. Watmuff
who was living there. I was sure I did & looking
into the face of my friend who had commenced
to laugh most immodestly. I discovered
him to be my dear old friend, J.Hamilton
who had landed that same day from a ship
from Glasgow & having fell in with A.Smith
late in the evening had learned from him
where I was living & had at once posted
down to see me, rather singular that
he should drop upon me at such a time
we were very glad to see each other & it wasnt
long before I visited him & his wife & family
at their lodgings, it is nearly three years
since he left Victoria for Scotland where he
has been located ever since, but his business
not being remunerative enough & longing
to visit Australia again, he gave it up &
came out to this colony induced by the
reports of the gold discoveries & the hope of making
a fortune, like everybody else, he is trying
to get into a situation of some kind. I hope he
may succeed, for it must be a source of great
anxiety to his mind, being unemployed with a
wife & two children & not possessed of much
money. I have been to see them very often.
4/34 |
843
Mrs H. has greatly impoved during her absence
not only in appearance but in her manner
she is really a pretty ladylike woman & having mixed
in better society at home than she did in Australia
has tended to their improvement - I have seen
Bonnie Annie pretty often lately & have carried
on a most violent flirtation with her, not
of the most creditable description either, she is
as wild as ever, cares for no one, & is reckless
of consequences, full of romance & passion –
& yet with all a little matter of fact. I one
night went to their place after leaving business
& walked the distance, 7 miles after 9 P.m.
& stayed with her till near 1 am. I know it
was nearly daylight when I got home, & not
being able to get inside the house, I climbed
over the fence & slept in the stable until
it was time to resume business
I have been twice to the Theatre since I
last wrote, on one occasion to see Julia
Mathews, on the Prince of Wales Birthday
which was observed by many as a fete day -
I wrote to Mother & also to Fred about a week ago - The weather has been fearfully cold, wet & miserable lately
[Sunday, 6 December 1863] December 4th [6th] 1863 Three weeks since I continued my journal I never was so indifferent to continuing it than I have felt the past four months I cannot help it. I have to work so hard & such long hours & that I have no time
4/35 |
844
or when I have, I have no inclination
for when I have any leisure, I generally
feel a craving for some excitement to
work off the morbid feelings engendered
by my occupation. I have been very
ill during the last fortnight the weather
being so severe & continually abroad & getting
so often wet through & hanging about in
wet clothes, & having very uncomfortable
quarters to live & sleep in, brought on a
severe cold accompanied with ague. I
bore up as long as possible, but at length
had to give up work, but having no bedroom,
but the shop, I had to turn out. I
laid down one day on the hay in the
Stable & feeling worse, I dragged myself
into the street (Mrs. Field having informed
me she could not do with sick people
about the place,) having with difficulty
dressed myself, I went to the George Hotel
& got a bed, but could not sleep for pain
In the morning I went forth & reached
A.Smiths shop & he made me up some
physics & told me to get home & keep my
bed. On leaving his place I felt such a sense
of loneliness as I never before experienced I
felt I would sooner have died in the streets
than go to any of my acquaintances in such
4/36 |
845
a state & become a burden to them. I crawled
about feeling so weak & ill that I had not energy
enough to form an idea what to do with
myself - while in this state I met Hamilton
I had not seen him for some days & he was
not aware I was so ill, he insisted upon
me going home with him to his house –
which I did, a bed was soon prepared & I
was got into a persperation which I firmly
believe saved my life & with his &
Mrs. H. kind nursing & care I soon recovered
I lived with them several days, they are
living about 1½ miles out of town, in a Cottage
beautifully situated on a sideline on the
Valley of the Water of Leith. I pray God
may bless & reward them for their kindness to
me. Poor Jim is still unemployed & his means
are getting very reduced, & he is very low spirited.
I hope something may turn up in his favour
I am still very weak, but I intend resuming
my work in the morning, but I am sure I
will never take such an interest in the
business again while with Field as I have
done. I can never forget their unnatural
behaviour towards me as long as I live
I think Field is sorry for he has been very
kind & tried to make up for his wifes hard –
-heartedness by many little actions, for the
4/37 |
846
fortnight I was away, he only stopped one
weeks salary, even that with my physic
& other matters makes the loss in a pecuniary
sense of my illness a serious matter, however
I feel thankful to providence for his kindness
in so soon again restoring me to health & vigour
I was looking over the paper containing a list of unclaimed letters & saw my name advertised I made application at the P.O. & found no less than three there for me from H.Vickerman written in the Hospital Bendigo, where he has been confined for some time, owing to his lame leg having broken out again poor fellow he will think it very cruel of me not having answered them. I wrote to him immediately & explained to him how it was I did not receive his letters ere now. My letters are always a/d to Fields & he must have forgotten the address Lizzie is living with some Doctors family in Sandhurst & is very comfortable. Uncle Charles has left Bendigo for Adelaide having deserted his children in my opinion in a shameful manner (Harry in the Hospital & Lizzie in service, I am surprised at his want of affection, for his children are well worthy of all he could bestow upon them I met Dave Hazlett & Pickett last night, they had just come down from the diggins having lost nearly all they made up there before. We went to the Theatre together saw Julia Mathews & Clarence
4/38 |
847
Holt in Belphegor the Mountebank, after
the performance, being too late to go to Hamiltons
I accompanied them to their tent which they
had pitched in the Scrub, near the Cemetery
by the Robin Hood Hotel, & stayd with them
all night, rather novel to me after living
the last few months in a house. After having
breakfast with them, I came to the Shop & dressed
myself Dave & I took a strool, met Mr & Mrs Hamilton
going to Church, but being late, we all went visiting
called upon several acquaintances & parted about
dinner time. After dining Dave & I called for
A.Smith & we took a long walk, being a lovely
day we enjoyed [ourselves.] The scenery around Dunedin
is beautiful & I never remember viewing it
to such advantage as I did then. We called at
Dumas’ on our road they are a family we
knew on Bendigo very nice people, they insisted
upon us staying tea which we did & afterwards
we all went together to the Wesley Church
Bell Hill & heard the Revd. Mr. Harding preach
an excellent sermon delivered especially for
the benefit of young men & one I shall
not forget in a hurry. We parted & went to
our several homes after the service was over
[Sunday, 13 December 1863] Decr.12th.[13th]1863 Quite a sudden change in the weather, the last few days not a drop of rain having fell quite a treat to see nice clean streets - My time spent much as usual, rise in the morning at 6.30 open the shop at sharp 7 am close at 9.30 in the evening, so I have no time for
4/39 |
848
pleasure or recreation, always in the shop
or else out for orders and delivering the same
never go anywhere for a change, & never keep
or go into company. The pleasentest part of
my occupation is travelling. I have a fine
horse to ride & all my customers in the country
are always very glad to see me & make quite
a fuss of me, of course, I get myself well
posted up in local news so I am looked
upon as quite an oracle by a lot of these
simple Scotch farming folks, in fine
weather this travelling is delightful, but in
wet weather, horrible, the country being so
rough & hilly especially about the penninsula
in the neighbourhood of the Tomahawk The
land there is cut up in small blocks of about 20
acres, & being densely timbered to a stranger
appears a cold uninhabited district & one is
astonished to find buried in such a forest such
a number of little homesteads. They cultivate
a few acres, keep a few cows have poultry & what
with hard work, & not having many wants
they appear to be the happiest mortals in
existence, most of these Scotch settlers come
from the far North of Scotland brought up
hardy, frugal & simple, they are perfectly
happy, & appear contented but can mortal
want more on this earth Sunday is the
day I enjoy. This morning I went to hear
a popular preacher who has lately settled in
Dunedin, named Connebee. I liked him
4/40 |
849
exceedingly so much so that I also went to hear
him this evening. In the afternoon, I saddled my
horse & rode out to Andersons Bay, waded through
the water to the foot of a pathway which led into
Vauxhall Gardens where I found a great
number of people enjoying themselves. The
Gardens are beautifully & romantically
situated on a high piece of ground thickly
wooded & nearly entirely surrounded by
the waters of the pretty Bay of Otago. These
grounds are the only ones ornamented & laid
out for pleasure in the province The usual
mode of arriving at them is by taking a
Boat at the Jetty & sail across, & a lovely
sail of two miles it is, on a fine day, it is
fully 5 miles from here by land the scenery
is really charming & well repays the labour
of a visit refreshments are to be procured &
another attraction are the very pretty barmaids
there, night is the time to see them to perfection
there is a dancing pavillion erected & a good
Band is engaged, about twice aweek & then
is the time for fun. After leaving Chapel this
evening I joined a party of friends & we took
a walk for an hour or so, along the road
which runs along the top of the hills which
surround Dunedin being a nice mild moonlight
night & the company pleasent I enjoyed
myself very well - but to come home
to such a cursed place as I am living in
is horrible, my home is under the counter in the shop -
4/41 |
850
[Sunday, 20 December 1863]
Decr.19th.[20th] 1863 We have had lovely weather during the
past week with the exception of one wet day, Friday,
Time slipped by as usual, working hard but little
time for pleasure or recreation, except on Thursday
St Andrews Day, which was observed by the Scotch as
a Fast Day, & out of respect to them nearly every body
else made a holiday of it, few I think fasted, but
every one appeared bent on enjoyment & pleasure -
We closed the shop about 10 Am when I left it determined
to enjoy myself for once. I met pretty Liz Morley &
took a walk with her to the wharf where we met her
Father waiting for her in a boat to take her home, they
wanted me to go home with them, but I couldnt see -
a long pull down to the Heads, where they live, & *see
*any chance of getting back the next day so I was
forced to decline, on bidding them adieu, I met
John Nevin & his wife Jessie, they were uncertain what
to do with themselves for the day, so we agreed to take
a boat & have a sail on the Bay, we soon put this
proposal into execution & we were soon sailing along
in gallant style *we made for the Gardens, arrived
there at dinner time & after refreshing ourselves with
the good things that were to be procured for love & money
we rambled about the peninsula admiring the
charming & romantic scenery of that neighbourhood
I never felt so lighthearted & happy. I was more like a
child than anything else. Id run & bound & sing &
shout, roll on the grass, climb trees, quote from my
4/42 |
851
favorite authors & conducted myself in other forms of
insanity, at length tired out we returned to our boat
& returned across the Bay. I accompanied my
friends home & had tea with them, & staid till nearly
10 pm at their house talking over old times & laughing
over the little jealousies that once affected each of us
John & Jessie appear to love each other & are very happy I
hope they will long continue to be so united, on leaving
them I went to the Theatre, just in time to see the
Burlesque of Cinderella, Julia Mathews as usual being
the life & soul of the pieces, she sang & danced &
appeared more piquant & irresistible than ever -
I met old friends there, Hazlett & Pickett & my old
mate Joe Russell who has just come down for a
few days from Wetherstones, where he had been located
ever since I left him to go to the Dunstan, he tells
me he has done well & at present possesses a claim
that he employs about a dozen men to work he offered
me ₤4.0.0 per week to go up with him & help
to work it for him. I wont go to the diggins again
for any consideration, more especially as I have
come to the determination of leaving this colony &
return to Victoria in about a fortnights time
when If all goes well I shall have about ₤15.
by me, enough to see me home how Ill fare
when I do get home, Ile leave to the circumstances
I spent the night, I met my friends, at their
tent on the hills, slept as sound on the floor
as if I was on a feather bed. I have heard
nothing from my brother Ned since I last
wrote. I think it very cruel he has not written
to me lately.
4/43 |
852
Decr.27th.1863 Being my last week In this Colony
the fates have determined to make things everywhere
bear their pleasentest aspect, so that I may leave it
with favourable impressions. Weather beautiful -
friends & acquaintances agreeable & pleasent, my mentor
more than usually kind offered to increase my salary
if I would remain, but no, my mind is made up, no
Israelite in the wilderness ever yearned to leave it for
fair Canaen as I do to leave this country for sunny
Australia what with the hardships & misfortunes I
endured on the diggins, the long weary trying hours
of my occupation as a grocers traveller & assistant
in Dunedin as tended to so disgust me with all
& everything connected with the province, that if
ever I arrive in Victoria I shall always think &
look back with the most intense disgust at
the place where two of the best years of my life
have been wasted, my constitution & spirits in a
great measure being broken & all for nothing
the little glimpses of pleasure I have had have been
of a very questionable character & can only be
considered such through contrast with the misery
I have endured. This being Christmas week has
been a very busy one for us in the shop working
every day from 6a.m till 11Pm. & last night
Saturday, it was 12 before we closed the shop & 1 ere
I sank to rest, dead beat & tired, to my bed
4/44 |
853
under the counter in the shop the air pregnant with
the odour of cheese & bacon & sundry other things of
an odouriferous nature not pleasent to my olfaction
or tending to improve one’s health, however it was
my last night, & use being second nature I have
begun to get accumstomed to my quarters & was
not long before I was oblivious to odours, counters
shops & everything else connected with this material
world -
Friday the 25th. being Christmas Day it
was observed as a holiday, tho’ by the majority
of the inhabitants of Dunedin who are Scotch it
was not looked upon as half such a holy day
as their patron, Saint Andrews, day, however Mr Field
shut up, for a wonder, & I was let at liberty. I felt
like the prisoner of Chalms who after getting his
liberty after being incarcerated for years, his friends
& relatives being dead & gone, he longed to return
to his prison, so with me. I wouldnt have cared
to have kept the shop open all day. I went to see
Hamilton early in the morning & prevailed upon
him to spend the day with me, to which he agreed
he dressed himself in his "kilt" & we walked thru’
the town until arriving at the Tomahawk Valley
Road *where we made up our mind to go out & spend
the day with the Henderson girls, being a lovely day
& the roads clean, for a wonder, we enjoyed our walk
the road for about a mile is perfectly level, when
4/45 |
854
it begins to get hilly but passing through a well
cultivated country till arriving at Andersons Bay
at the head of which is situated a pleasent looking
little Hamlet. After a further walk of half anhour
from this brought us to the sea beach at a point
where the sea runs inland into a basin around
which is many a happy looking little farm &
homestead, romantically situated, the road from there
is very heavy travelling being knee deep in sand
however we soon got into a better road & I should
state better land, for the road there is none, the
ground being densely timbered & difficult & expensive
to clear, about the first patch is situated the
farm of the Hendersons on a slope of a hill
looking towards the sea, they made us very
welcome & regaled us with scones & milk
& strawberries & cream, we kissed the old
women but the girls came in for a double
share of them soon got at home with the family
after we had refreshed ourselves the two Miss
Hs Jim & I started out to see the lions of the
neighbourhood, they showed us the best scenery
took us into Caves & Grottoes waded barefooted through
creeks & in the sea where our path led us there
rolled down sand hills romped & were as merry
as a pack of children & we enjoyed ourselves
as men can only do with buxom country
4/46 |
855
Scotch lasses. I stuck to Annie all day while
Jim took charge of the quiet girl, who I found
as full of fun but not as reckless as Annie -
Annie & I got sentimental & on hearing I was
going to Melb’ she got quite spooney. I was
a little soft myself, & I dare say there are
few men who could resist the attractions
of such a creature, bold, hot, reckless &
passionate, pretty, a good figure, with no
control over her emotions, renders her very
irresistable to a man anyway susceptible
to female charms, it was nearly sundown
when we arrived back at their house, had tea
with them & made a most affectionate
adieu, Annie walked a mile or two on
the road with me, when we parted, as is
usual on such occasions, with thrilling
kisses & fond embraces on both sides, &
so ended our amour, not the first on her
part & I hope not the last on mine though
I hope the next fair being Im so situated
with will be mine for ever. Jim & I
trudged on quietly for some time when he
commenced laughing over our days sport
I soon caught the spirit & joined him & ere
long I soon shook off whatever melancholy
I had about me, at Andersons Bay we
turned off the road & went into Vauxhall
Gardens
4/47 |
856
found great numbers there who had been
enjoying themselves all day. We found a boat
here & a smart breeze blowing, soon wafted
us over the Bay to Dunedin, being tired, on
landing we went to the Persian Cafe, found my
pretty friend duly installed there (Minnie Crawford)
as head waitress & evidently in her proper sphere -
she was very kind & soon provided us some refreshment
which after partaking with a long chat with her
we left each for his home at about 10.30 Pm & so
passed, without exception, the pleasentest day Ive
spent in N.Z. Harry Dight & Tom Downs hearing
I intended leaving Dunedin came to town yesterday
to see me off, we were very glad to see each other
tho’ our interview was very short I being very
busy. I also received a letter from Ned Rowitt
from Queenstown (on the Lakes) where he & J.
Dight are working at present, he informed me
my brother had been up there with them, had
met Nelson & he had got ₤14 from him in
consideration of the two shares in the horse we
purchased when we were mates together. I was
glad to hear that affair was settled, after
receiving the money my brother Ned left them
& tramped the road to Invercargil (province of
Southland) & Rowitt further informed me that
he had succeeded in gaining employment
4/48 |
857
in a Ginger Beer Factory & was getting good wages
& what was pleasenter to me hear that he had
renounced all ideas of ever visiting the gold
diggins again. I do hope, he will remain
steady & adhere to his resolution.- I bade
Mr. & Mrs. Field adieu this morning, the former
I shall always esteem & think well of but the
latter is the most despicable creature I
ever came in contact with & shall ever
remember her with abhorrance - my
fellow shopman Beckingsale was very
sorry at my leaving, he is a nice fellow
very honest & upright & one who will
succeed in the world & will do honour
to any position he may rise to, on leaving
the shop I went at the invitation of Mrs. Greenwood
to spend the rest of my time at her house, which
I have done & will sleep to night here, with Harry
Dight who always lives with Mrs. G when in town
she is a dear good old soul so disinterestedly
affectionate & kind, she has no children of her
own, & so feels a pleasure in looking after the
welfare of other peoples, when in need of
assistance I wish I could pay her a fitting
tribute of respect & the esteem I hold her in
with my pen in these pages, I can never
forget her, for I never met her equal as a
noble minded woman, in a humble way
one of those creatures Dickens would have
4/49 |
858
made a true character of, a kind of pattern
& type of a rare class, whose name would
have become a household word, may God
bless & prolong her life & may she never know
the taste of sorrow. I went out for a short
time this afternoon & visited a number of
friends & acquantances to all of whom I
made my adieus, spent a couple of hours
at Hamiltons, who is very much cut up
at my leaving. I was glad to hear Jim has
at length got into a good Govt. Billet at
a good salary & likely to be a permanency. I
forgot to state I saw Annie Henderson yesterday
while on business in the town, she went & had
her likeness taken which she sent me today
rather strange for a girl of her fickle nature to
do. Ill be bound in a weeks time she will forget
there is such a being in existence as myself
Mrs. G wishes to know how much longer I am going to keep her up writing my Journel & putting down all my notes on human natur[e] my bed is ready & a neat one it is, clean sheets with a white counterpane, such a bed as I have not slept in for many a long day - I wont have such a pleasent one tomorrow night -
4/50 |
859
[Monday, 4th January 1864]
Jany 3st 1864 / On Board the S.S. "Alhambra" bound for
Melbourne - On the morning of 28th.Decr.. I *packed
up my things & took my passage, paying £5.0.0 for it
& that only in the Steerage, at 2 Pm in company with
Andrew Smith (who has left his situation & is now with
me enroute for Victoria) & Harry Dight we went on
board a small Steamboat which conveyed us to Port
Chalmers where we found the Alhambra all ready
for sea, before leaving the pier Hazlitt, Picket &
Downs & Hamilton came to see me off. I dont think
I was so affected in my life, the last eye I met was
Jims & I could see it glisten with moisture, I gazed
long after them, & thought for the time of nothing else
but them, but there is an end to everything & I saw
my friends no more, I then had time to look around
at the lovely scenery surrounding the Bay of Otago
an hours sail brought us at length to Port Chalmers
when our little steamer give us its freight of human
cargo, a wild rough looking lot of diggers who lost
no time in choosing their berths, many a fight
& many hard words were indulged in before every-
-one was suited. Harry stayd with me for about
an hour until our anchor was weighed when he
was obliged to return & we parted. The afternoon
was very dark & gloomy & it was with the greatest
difficulty we got outside the Heads before dark
nearly all the passengers were seasick & had taken
to their Bunks. Andrew Smith & I stuck on deck
4/51 |
860
although the sea was breaking over us very heavily -
I had got an idea into my head that seasickness
was in a great measure nothing but affectation &
*it might be avoided by resistance, however, I
discovered it was no such thing for after pacing
the deck some hours we were driven at length
to the side of the vessel & there, oh heavens! to disgorge
we were very quiet after this & continued our walk
but had to succumb at last through sheer weariness
& then again & again my belly rebelled against my
head, so after taking a stiff glass of Bdy I sought
my Bunk in the Hold, a dirty hole it was, but
I felt so bad, I could have crept into a dog kennel
if nothing better turned up. I slept pretty sound &
rose next morning about 7 pm & came on deck
the sea looking frightfully wild & rough, the sky
dark & angry with not a glimpse of sunshine
& to make things worse I was lamentably seasick
about 6 pm we reached Bluff Harbour, the Port
of Southland, whose capital & only town is Invercargill
situated on a plain sound 20 miles from the Bluff
here we cast anchor & landed mail & passengers
& embarked ditto for Victoria, it was with the
greatest difficulty we did this without accident
the sea being so rough & the wind so high, by
8.30 Pm we up anchor & left this dangerous place
which appeared to me like an open roadstead with
no shelter from the strong S.W. gales nearly
always blowing there - I would willingly have
4/52 |
861
remained a couple of days, here so I might
have gone & seen my brother Ned at Invercargil
Nothing occurred after leaving there to break the
monotomy of our lives for the next 3 days
having fine weather, but head winds, no land or
sail to be seen, tho I may mention that the morn
of the 31th. was densely foggy & the sound of the fog
horn bellowing through the gloom every 1/4 hour
produced a strange sensation - before reaching
Swan Island, (a very memorable place to me) we
overhauled the Ship "Champion of the Seas" she
left Port Chalmers 8 days before us & had had very
rough weather, we hailed her but soon left
her behind, nothing like a Steamer to sail in
I will never sail in anything but one if I
can help it, wind nor tide ever puts them
off their course, our Capt., J.McLean, or better
known by the patronomic of "Hell Fire Jack"
the name he gained when he sailed the Aldinga
a boat that used to make extraordinary trips
from Vict to N.Z. is a fine fellow. The 1st & 2nd
Engineers are nice fellows I got very intimate with
them, they are both good singers & it is quite a
treat to listen to them they very kindly lent me Books
to read. We have made very little headway the last
two days, the wind being dead ahead. We hope to reach
Port Phillip Heads tonight (Monday) the light
at Cape Schank I hear is to be seen through
the glass - Tuesday morning (4th) entered the
heads about 10 Am. the day frightfully hot, reminding
4/53 |
862
me forcibly Im not in N.Z it took us four hours
to reach the Hobsons Bay Railway Pier where we
landed - & taking the train was soon in Melbourne
a cab brought me home. I had not heard from
home for a long time & did not know whether
my family lived here or no, however I knocked
& was soon had my doubts cleared away by
being embraced by my dear mother, no language
can discribe the feelings I enjoyed at once more
beholding those who are so dear to me. I found
my mother pretty well in health, but very much
altered, getting grey & very old looking, my sister
Mary is well & not much altered. Fred the same
as ever. Bessie is still at Echuca with Mrs Dewar
[Sunday, 10 January 1864] Jany 11th.[10th] 1864 Weather has been very hot, making it rather trying to one having come from such a cold country as N.Z is. Since I returned home I have been very happy & done nothing but enjoy myself tho’ I intend to commence in the morning & try & get some employment, my mother is greatly in debt & it is only with the greatest struggle her & Mary can keep house & make things meet I hope to God I may soon drop into something profitable for I have no wish to travel again the only good I ever derived from rambling about was that it gave me a greater relish for home. Wednesday morning I went to the Melbourne Cricket Ground to see the All England Eleven play, they play
4/54 |
863
well, but not caring or knowing much of the
game it did not interest me, tho’ I found plenty
things novel that did in the company surrounding
Apple & Nut Stalls, Aunt Sallys & other swindles were in
profusion, reminding me more of a fair at home
than anything else - later in the afternoon I left
& called upon Mr. & Mrs. Dight found them very
glad to see me & of course had to answer the
most unaccountable questions respecting their
boys, all of which I did as satisfactory as possible
after tea I went to the Hay Market Theatre, to see
pantomine of Cinderella with the opera attached
the principal vocalists being the Emma & Celia
Howson with their father, the former has a fine
sophano voice & will with more experience prove
a fine singer. I was highly delighted with the
performance but more particularly with the singing
Thursday morning Mary & I went to Nt Melbourne to Mrs. McDougalls, had dinner with her & stayd there nearly all the afternoon, spent the evening at home Mary & Fred singing very well, my sister has a very superior Mezzo Sophano voice a Mr. Ambler, who boards with us, sang, he has a splendid Baritone voice. Ive seldom heard a better, twas quite a treat to me - to spend such an evening & when I drew comparisons between my past life & what it ought to have been if circumstances had permitted me live at
4/55 |
864
home instead of roving what a different
being I might have been Friday I spent
writing to J Hamilton, H.Dight, Ned, A Henderson
& my sister Bessie. In the evening I went to
the Theatre Royal, to see the Pantomine of Lallah Rook
everything was most gorgeously got & I could not
conceive anything more magnificent in the
scenic & spectacular line. Saturday it rained
all day, I stayd at home reading. To day, Sunday
Mary & I went in the morning to St Marks Church
heard the Revd Mr Barlow preach a most
peculiar sermon. I did not like him, he
reminded me of some stucup orator Ive heard
somewhere. In the afternoon Ambler Fred & I
took a walk visited the Cemetary found my brother
Charlies grave (for the first time) After tea Fred &
I took a ramble about. I was quite astonished
to find Bourke St crowded with people on
a Sunday evening, disgracefully so, in my
opinion, mostly young girls & young *men the
principal portion who dont appear to be the
most respectable inhabitants of Melbourne
on arriving home about 9 pm we had some
sacred music, my sister singing & playing
selections from the Messiah. I have been
suffering very severely all the week from the
effects of a violent cold I caught on board
the Alhambra S.S.
4/56 |
865
Melbourne
Jany 18th.[17th]1864
[Sunday, 17 January 1864]
Weather, been very hot, but not so oppressive as I
expected to have found it. I have been looking out
for some employment all the week but have not
been successful as yet, not my fault, for I have
been out before 8 am every morning, & looked on
the lists of "wanted" which appear in the Argus
daily. I answered one or two advertisements
by letter but no reply. I made personal applications
for two but I would not suit for one & the other
would not suit for me, being rather a menial
job, tho I could have had it had I chosen. I have
been very unwell all the week suffering through
my own cursed folly, teaching me a lesson Ill
not forget in a hurry - I went to the Haymarket
Theatre, on Tuesday night, heard E.Howson
& W.Sherwin in the Opera of Bohemian Girl
she sang well, but the rest were abominable
The remaining evenings I spent at home with
Mary & Mother. Saturday afternoon Mary & I
went to a Promenade Concert in the Botanical
Gardens, heard some good singing, all the
eclat of Melbourne was there some lovely
women I noticed. We rambled about the
gardens admiring everything we looked upon
the Gardens are beautifully situated & very
tastefully laid out, they are a long walk from
4/57 |
866
our house & we were tired on arriving home
Sunday, this morning I went alone to St Peters
Church, heard Mr. Handfield preach an excellent
sermon, & also so some fine music, there being
at this Church, the finest Choir in Melbourne
most of the vocalists I heard yesterday in the
Gardens being paid members of it. In the
afternoon Mary & I again visited the Gardens
for a walk they are free to the public on Sabbath
In the evening we had some visitors, Mr J.J.
Clark, friend of my sister, a very gentlemanly
well informed & I should think clever young fellow
[&] Mrs. Morris an old friend of our family’s I
believe. I had to see her home, away in West
Melbourne it was after 12 Pm when I got home
Jany 25th.1864
[Sunday, 24 January 1864]
Still idle, doing nothing. I have made many
applications for situations not a day passes without
trying some place or another, but there are so many
applicants & numbers on the look out for employment
that unless a person has good references or some
influence tis a difficult matter to get anything to
do. I wrote to Mr. Field last week requesting to
furnish me with a testimonial of character &
I also wrote to Mr Froggart of Bendigo for the
same purpose. I am still far from being well
but I fancy my complaint is on the turn -
Monday night Mary, Fred & I went to a
4/58 |
867
party at Morriss’ - did not get home till day-
light next morning. I never spent such a jolly
night there was all sorts of people Actors & Actresses
first rate company & every body appeared to do
their best to please their neighbour free from
restraint or conventional routines. After I
finish my hunt for work in the morning, which
is over by about 10 Am I usually come home
& read & write & look up & practice arithmetic
& Bookkeeping things Im rather backward in a
knowledge of - I spent most of the afternoon at
the Public Library, a fine resort, for folks
who have nothing to do, it is a beautiful building
& well stocked with works on most every subject
& every conveniance for reading – below stairs are
two large apartments full of sculptuary &
works of mediaeval art by the best masters
& free to the public. This morning Mary & I
went to hear Mr. Barlow preach, after dinner
we had some singing, Ambler singing some
pieces from the Oratorias. In the evening I took
a walk, home by 9 Pm found Mr Clark here
he appears to be a constant visitor at our
house. I cannot say I altogether like him
I believe him to be very talented & clever in his
profession (an architect, in the Govt. employ with
a salary of, I believe, £450.0.0 ayear) but very
egotistical & self opinionated, & displays a
deal of affectation, in endeavouring to persuade
4/59 |
868
people he has no self esteem & yet I never met one
I fancy, is so fond of approbation. I dont think
he is as fond of his bed as I am, or else he
would be in it ere now, he dont seem to
think people want to go to bed - for he never
thinks of going till close on 12 Pm -
Feby 2nd 1864
Weather been very hot during the week. I have
been ill, at the beginning of the week. Sunday
night I felt bad & the next day had an attack
of Colonial Fever, which has left me very weak
but thanks to my dear Mother & sister Marys
kindness & attention I was up by Wednesday - It
has affected my other complaint, of the spine,
very much having put it back. I have not
got anything to do yet, tho’ I have tried
hard & answered advertisements, & never
neglected an opportunity of any description
in the pursuit of work - The little money
I had on landing is done & it will gall me
terribly to become a burden to my already
overburdened mother - I am getting tired of
rambling about town. I have visited the Liby
Police Courts & other public places until I
am afraid the police will imagine me to
be some vagrant. I went with Fred to the
Theatre last Thursday night to hear the Opera
of The "Night Dancers," I liked it very well
4/60 |
869
there is some pretty music in it - I have
read a great deal lately – some of Miss
Bremers works, Essays on various subjects
by W. Fox - varied with Lallah Rookh
& some of Longfellows poems – I received a
long letter from Beckingsale, my fellow shop-
mate at Fields, I was very hurt by a reference
he made in his letter concerning a circumstance
which happened the day I left Dunedin
I left Fields on a Saturday, during the afternoon a
customer came in the shop & I took an order
from him about two hours afterwards, having some
more orders to deliver, I took his one, on arriving
at the persons house, I found no one at home
so I opened the door & put the goods inside & went
my way – the people say they never received
the goods & positively refused to pay. I had often
left goods at the same house & in the same manner
before, & how it turns out, that these goods are
denied puzzles me, unless someone watched
me leave them & then on my leaving took
them. Mrs F who always hated me is
making the most of the case against me
& has dared to make some observations in
reference to my want [of] principle, honesty, Etc
Charlie does not doubt me but seems to
think as I do concerning the case - & it was
out of pure friendship to me he wrote to
4/61 |
870
to ascertain if I could throw any light
upon the subject. I answered immediately
& gave him all the explanation I could in
the manner. I suppose ere long I shall hear
more about the affair, if it is not settled
to my credit I will return to Dunedin
should I have to work my passage there
I received a long letter from H. Dight written in Invercargill, having left Dunedin a few days previously & taking this route to go to the Lakes where he [is] going to join his brother Jack & Ned Rowitt, he had met my brother Ned he is quite well & is at work in a cordial Manufactory there, I am surprised Ned does not write. Harry also met C.Foyne who is thinking of visiting Victoria shortly - To day is my 25th Birthday, I seem to be getting worse off every year, one consolation tis next to impossible to get much worse We had a lot of visitors to day T.Grimwood & G.Ramsden & JJ Clark
Feby 7th.1864 Weather very hot, I am still very unwell & weak & if I had plenty of money would take it easy for a month or two. The worry & anxiety of my position tends to make me worse. I have answered advertisements by post &
4/62 |
871
1864
also in person several times this week – but all to no purpose, my money is done & what clothes I have will soon begin to get seedy. I cannot bear to become a burden to anyone & yet mother & all at home do their utmost not to let me feel my dependant state. I would not care if she could afford it or had some regular income, for she & the rest of the [family] have had plenty of assistance from me. My sister Bessie came home from Echuca last Tuesday night she has greatly altered since I last saw her, when she was a little pert slip of a girl, she has grown into a nice pretty lady like girl. I ought to be proud of my sisters, few brothers have such I wish I could do something for them, this infernal teaching harasses the soul out of them. Thursday, Ambler & I went to hear "Maritana", Howsons, Sherin & Wharton being the principal vocalists - This morning, my sisters & self went to St Marks Church, got wet coming home been raining ever since. G.Ramsden & Grimwood came in the afternoon stayd tea & spent the evening with us. Friday my sister Mary gave her school children a little party in the evening some children of an older growth called & several young ladies, among the number a Miss Flett, sister to Mrs
4/63 |
872
White, an old friend & neighbour of my mother
she is a very nice young woman. I had
the pleasure of seeing her home -
Feby. 14th.1864
Weather extremely hot & I feel it far more than
the regular denizens of the town, coming from
such a different climate as that of Otago is. I am
beginning to recover my health fast, getting
quite strong. I have not yet got into anything
as yet, but have a prospect of a situation in
a good firm here (Levy Bros,) to proceed to
Tasmania. I am to have a decided answer
to morrow. I hope to heavens I may get it. I
am fairly sick & worn out with anxiety
in searching for employment, gaping into shop
windows gazing into peoples faces, passing time away
in the Police Courts or knocking about with others
like myself who I meet regularly in my searches
for work. I went in company with Fred one night
to see Barry Sullivan the Tragedian, as Falconbridge
in "King John" he is considered by many to be the
best actor ever we have had in Victoria, for my
part I think he is not worthy of comparison with
G.V. Brooke. I never witnessed such an artificial
actor in my life every word, look, gesture, attitude
appear to me so studied there wants more
nature or natural manner, in my opinion, in
his acting before he ranks as a first rate actor
4/64 |
873
in my estimation. Friday evening my sisters
went to a Mr. Allens in Collins St. I went
about 8.30 for them & was induced to remain
till 10 Pm. there is a Miss Allen, a very nice
ladylike girl. I enjoyed myself very well, on
arriving home we went afterwards into a neighbours
house, Mr Whites, who is leaving here for NZ
in the morning had supper with the family
& made our adieus, 12 pm when we left -
Saturday evening Fred took me to hear the Opera of Maritana, the Howsons, Sherwin & Wharton - being the principal vocalists. This morning Bessie & I went to St Peters Church, not to hear Mr Handfield for that was impossible from where we sat, near the door, but the singing After dinner Bessie & Mary & I took a walk around Fitzroy Gardens. In the evening I went to St Peters Church with Ambler met two young ladies, friends of his instead of going to Church we took a pleasent walk in the gardens till 9 Pm when we saw them home - & did ditto for ourselves. I received a long kind letter from Hamilton on Wednesday himself & family were quite well when he wrote. Mrs. H was on a visit to the Hendersons at Tomahawk "Bonnie Annie" sends her love to me (rubbish). enclosed in the letter were two testimonials of character & ability, one from himself & the
4/65 |
874
the other from Mr Field, both of them very
flattering. I wrote to Mr. Halley during the
week to procure me a reference from Mr
Froggatt - I met young Collier the other day
he has taken to the stage altogether now, as
an actor, he is waiting for Chas Kean, the great
actor, to open his engagement next week at the
Haymarket Theatre & where he hopes to be one
of the company, he informs John King, Bellas
brother is playing at present on Ballarat -
I have been spending a deal of time this week
at my books, teaching myself Book Keeping -
Feby 21st 1864
Very hot during the week, was greatly disappointed
last Monday at not getting the situation at
Levy Bros. It appears the vacancy was filled up by
the same party who was in the billet
before who had been induced to return to it again
I have made application for a dozen situations
since without success. I am regularly down
hearted on my ill luck, without a shilling to
bless myself with my few clothes getting very
shabby & the poverty of my mother & sisters
all tend to make me feel my position, as a
dependant upon them the more acutely &
still they wont hear of my leaving home for the
Bush again, where I should have no difficulty
of helping myself if not those near & dear to me
4/66 |
875
Tuesday, my N.Z friend Foyne called upon
me he had just returned from there with the
intention of going to England, where he sailed
for yesterday in the "Lincolnshire" I knocked
about town with him during the week & my
sisters & I all went down to Sandridge to
see him off yesterday afternoon, he informed
me he had seen my brother Ned in Invercargill
where he was at work,
in a Bowling ally he had hired
as soon as I got his address
I wrote to him. David Hazlitt & Pickett also
arrived here from NZ during the week, they
purpose going to the New Rush at Woods Point
If I had a few pounds I would go with them -
I met another old Bendigo friend yesterday
Donovan, he got disgusted with gold digging some
two years ago & came to Melb in search of em-
-ployment, got "hard up" & had at length to carry
a hod for a mason, but owing to some rich
friends here he soon got into something better
he was a clerk at one of the Suburban P.Courts
but left it & is now an articled clerk to Edwards
the Lawyers, he & I were very intimate years ago
& I have assisted him more than once, but on
hearing I was hard up, he did not express much
sympathy or evince any desire to assist me
but appeared very indifferent & careless about
continuing the acquaintance, nothing but
4/67 |
876
what I expect from the world I could curse it
& all in it of but for the sake of one or two
I have met in my life who are different & in
whom the milk of human kindness flows -
[Sunday, 6 March 1864] March 7th 1864 More low spirited than ever, still nothing to do not a sixpence or have had one for weeks, or else Im sure I would not now be in town, a burden to those at home as I feel I am, not that they ever hint at my being a burden, but the opposite, they all treat me with kindness & seem never to do enough for me. Tis singular I am so unfortunate. I am as energetic as the *ordinary run of men, not an advertisement appears in the papers, but what I answer either in person or by letter as the case may be, but all to no purpose, the fact is unless a man has interest and I have none or a friend or even acquaintance in Melb’ who can assist me in any degree many a time I return home fully determined to roll up my blankets as I have done many a time before, & take to the Bush or the diggins Oh! Father & Guardians, if you could feel as I do, how bitterly you would repent bringing up your children without some tangible way of earning a livelihood some trade or profession or education, it is purely a matter of chance if such neglected ones either sink or swim. I have but to
4/68 |
877
take my brothers & self as examples. My only
object in coming back home was with the idea of
correcting the evils of my past life & endeavour
to become a respectable member of society
& not to wander purposeless, as hitherto, through
life, as an outcast - I make the best use of
my time, by endeavouring to improve my
mind – reading, writing & arithmetic with
a dabble into "Morrell" form my studies so
in a measure my time is not misspent
I received an affectionate letter from C Beckingsal last week. He is still at Fields says business is very dull, but what was more satisfactory to me he informed me the affair he alluded to in his last letter had been settled & that I was found to be right it appears some children had seen me leave the goods & had taken them - I also had a letter from H.Dight, he is still living & working with his brother & Rowitt near Queenstown on the Lakes Otago he is doing nothing, but just making a living he informed me Nelson is doing 2 months in Jail there for personating a policeman also that Cameron & Proctor are up there & begged to be kindly remembered to me Harry had just received a note from my brother Ned informing him that he
4/69 |
878
was still living in Southland, but I was
sorry to hear he had been unwell & laid up
for three weeks with a severe sprain. I wish
he would write to us, tis very wrong of him
he knows how anxious & uneasy Mother gets
when she does not hear from her children when
absent - I was greatly surprised on Thursday week
by my cousin Harry Vickerman paying us a
visit, he had just come from Tasmania where he he
has been living with his sister Mary Ann (Mrs. Peat)
he only stayd a day with us & then left for Sandhurst
where he was going to his sisters Lizzie’s wedding, which
took place yesterday the 6 inst) the man she married
is a Mr. Holme, a Swede, & a painter by trade &
I believe can give her a good home & make her happy
I wish her joy & hope she may be happy. I am sure
she will make a good wife. Fred has taken me
several times to the Theatre, once to the opera & again
to hear or see Miss Cleveland (Mrs. Vincent) a new
star & judging from her acting & the houses she draws
is likely to become a great favourite with the public
the piece I saw her in was "Lear", a drama of the
very sensational order with the "agony" pretty
well piled up in it.
[Sunday, 13 March 1864] March 14th 1864 Been very hot all the week, still out of work beginning to take my ill luck as quite a matter of course. I have answered numerous
4/70 |
879
advertisements but there is always something to
prevent me being the lucky one chosen from the
numerous herd who present themselves for selection
I have passed much of my spare time this week
helping Picket & Hazlett to break in a couple
of young colts they bought after reducing them
to a managable state by yesterday, they packed
them & made a start to the new rush at
Woods Point they had not got a mile from the
town when one broke away & nearly smashed
everything that was on his back we were
some three hours before we caught the beast
& adjusted the load again after doing which I
bade them adieu, if I had had £2. I should
have gone with them, they wanted me to join
them but I did not like to put myself under
a compliment to them - I hope they may be
fortunate - On Wednesday night having a ticket
given me I went to an Amatuer performance at
the National Hall. I never sat out such rubbish
or ever heard such a low lot, at the conclusion of
the Drama or farce, more properly speaking
the forms were cleared away & a Dance ensued
to which I stayd at till nearly 3 the following
morning, if being excited & in a wild reckless
jolly state can be called pleasure then I had
enough of it, rather a rag tag lot were there &
I was more than once getting into hot water through
dancing with girls who preferred my company to others there
4/71 |
880
[continuing Sunday, 13 March 1864]
14/3/64
Thursday morning Fred & I went to the Haymarket
Theatre to see Mr. & Mrs. Chas.Keen perform he
taking the aged Lear & she playing the "Fool"
it was a frightful hot night & the place was densely
crowded. I felt rather disappointed with the great man
for the first three acts. I had expected to see a different
man, having fallen in the folly of others who minds are
associated, with the idea of an actor being a fine man with a commanding
appearance & a voice deep & loud like a Stentor / I had
no idea of an actor without these qualities, until I
saw Keen when all my disappointment vanished. I
saw & felt what I never did before, concentrated intensity
of acting, a being who appeared to enter thoroughly into
the character he wished to portray, it was really astonishing
the effect he produced under the physical disadvantages
he suffered from, bad appearance, bad voice & well up
in years - Mrs. K played well, what a charming actress
she must have been when younger. I received a
letter from H.Vickerman on Friday informing me of Lizzies
wedding (last Saturday) which he states was rather a
quiet affair, as such things ought to be in my
humble opinion, he went to see Froggatt on my
a/c. who has promised to do what he can for me
that is if he hears of anything likely to suit me on
Sandhurst he will exert himself to obtain it for
me, he has considerable interest there & I never
knew him promise what he didnt seem to
perform
4/72 |
881
Harry informs me A.Smith through influence
he can command has been appointed Manager
or Agent of a Branch of the Bk NSW @ Raywood
lucky fellow - Saturday night Jessie Flett & I
took a long walk together visited Fitzroy Gardens
much to the annoyance of many a loving couple
whom we disturbed by going & sitting upon the
same seats Etc. Jessie is a nice girl, one of the
pleasentest & most agreeable creatures I ever knew
always in good spirits full of fun & jolly &
yet possessed of plenty of good sense, is well
informed & reasons in her arguments like
a Lawyer - all without displaying anything like
pedantry, a real sterling woman who would make
a good wife, lucky will be the man who gets her
we are very often in each others company in fact
we have quite a penchant for one another. I am sure
nothing has so tended to reconcile me to my lot
here than her acquaintance & her smiles which
drive my melancholy away & makes my present
position endurable - Spent the day reading until
the evening when Bessie & I went to St Peters
Church to hear a very interesting discourse delivered
by a Missionary. I forgot to state Mary & I went
to a party at Mrs. Morris on Monday night
rather a mixed lot were there, actors & actresses, but
all jolly folks there was a pretty married woman
there, who I am vain enough to say was so foolish
4/73 |
882
as to pay me the most marked attention, I
was invited by her husband (the latter appears to
be a most *excesive looking creature) to a party at
their place on Emerald Hill next Monday night
[Wednesday, 16 March 1864] Wednesday March 17th.1864 Since I last wrote the weather has been beautiful & fine but rather hot, still doing nothing or any prospect of having anything else to do, answered several advertisements, for young men who are expected to be able to do everything from cleaning Boots to Keeping Books, for a few shillings weekly without effort - I met John King this morning poor devil, he informed me he took to the Stage when I went to NZ. but by his own account he has, been an actor out of luck & is very little credit to the profession, he was in Sydney a few months ago, & reduced to great extenuation & at length had to pack up his swag & tramp back overland a distance of 600 miles, cadging his food on the way, he is now looking out for a situation or like "Micawber" waiting for something to turn up
Monday night Bessie Fred & I went to the Griffins party on the Hill Mr G is Rly Station Master there arrived there about 9 pm, met several we knew Mr & Mrs. Morriss Mr. & Mrs Fitzgerald (the Actors) being among the party, there was plenty to eat & drink fruit Etc in abundance, plenty of singing and dancing with parlor games & plays of forfeit
4/74 |
883
Mrs. G annoyed me by her attentions. I tried to
think it was her usual manner but, no, she
was not so with any other gentleman - Mr. G
Im sure must have observed us for he watched
us very closely - on making our adieus, we gave
each other a hearty kiss. Im sure there was a
row on my departure – what asses women
(or some) are – 5 next morning when we
arrived home, had a row with the cabman
who brought the party home for his exorbitant
charge, so he would not take what we
offered him, which was very fair, the consequence
was we let him go without – I suppose he
will summons us – being very tired next day
I did not go out much, in the evening I
& Jessie Flett took a strool together, visited
some friends of her remained an hour or so
there with them & then returned home -
To day, in my liesure hours, I dug up my
mothers garden - & did sundry other little
jobs about the place -
[Friday, 18 March 1864] Friday 19th.[18th] March 1864 Lovely weather the past two days, spare time spent in reading writing & arithmetic, no work - Yesterday afternoon, I went to hear a Band play in Fitzroy Gardens, playd some beautiful selections from the works of the best composers. If my mind had been more settled, I should have enjoyed myself very much, nothing affords me greater pleasure
4/75 |
884
than listening to good music, & especially under
such circumstances, lolling upon the grass & basking
like a butterfly in the sun, the air filled with soft
& rapturous strains of exquisite music. After tea
Mrs. Morris & Mrs. Griffin called at our house after
remaining about an hour, Fred saw the former
& I the latter home - it took us two hours or more
to walk to Emerald Hill. I believe Mrs. G is "daft"
she is more poetic & sentimental, than all the
"etherealities" I have ever met with put together
nothing but poetry & sentiment & love, of the latter)
its purely platonic, so she has it, a feeling I
cannot understand existing with any degree of
propriety behoving a married woman (with two
children) & a young susceptible creature like myself
there is something very attractive about a charm or
spell which I feel enslaves me when in her
company, on parting I feel a disgust towards
her & to myself – very strange, but true. -
This morning after taking my usual hunt
after employment, I spent a couple of hours
at the Public Library & ditto at home with
my lessons, singing & teasing my sisters this
evening - Monday 22 March 1864
Weather very unsettled, still unemployed - Saturday morning rambled about town little in it interests me, my mind being in such a muddle & my spirits so depressed by the many
4/76 |
885
disappointments I have received lately are all tending
to make me very downhearted more especially as
my mother & sister Mary have so hard to work &
struggle to keep a home together - I went into Mrs
Whites about 3 pm, saw Jessie Flett, we went out
for a walk, visited Mrs. Woolfs garden in Nicholson
St. once a splendidly laid out & well stocked garden
but now going to ruin. We romped & playd about
like a couple of children, eating fruit &
climbing up the vines & trees after the choicest
& most dainty we could find, her jolly & buoyant
& merry spirits soon roused me from my depressed
state & soon dissipated my gloom, there is
something very fine & noble in Jessies character
something so much to admire & love, a true woman
full of kindness & sympathy - serious & candid
& free from all affectation except a desire or a
tendency to be satirical, bitterly so, to those who
lay themselves open to ridicule, but to me she is
ever good & kind, seeing her is like a gleam of
sunshine during a storm - In the garden we
visited are two Alloes in flower, quite a rarity.
Jessie was women enough to wish for a flower
I soon gratified her curiosity by clambering up
the long straight stem, with no little difficulty, it
did not repay *us for the trouble, the flower looked
better at the distance, they consist of nothing but
a lot of small bulbs in clusters - on leaving
the gardens I went home with Jessie to her sisters
4/77 |
886
Mrs. Whites where I stayd tea - after which I took
my leave & with Fred went to the Royal
Theatre saw Barry Sullivan & Miss Cleveland in
Bulwers play "Lady of Lyons". he is the finest Claude
this country has seen, I like him much better
in high comedy than in tragedy. Sunday afternoon
Bessie & I took a walk around Fitzroy Gardens, being a
lovely day we enjoyed our ramble. In the evening
Fred & I went to the Catholic Chapel, heard some
good singing & also Ten chapters of "Mathew" read
the priest was still reading on when we got sick
of the sermon & left, crossed the road to St Peters
Heard Mr. Handfield preach an excellent sermon
came home & found, as usual, a number of
visitors - This morning I went after a job
as storeman. I would not suit, they wanted
a giant, properly speaking they wanted a person
that could do two mens work for one mans
pay. I then walked to Richmond to see a friend
of mine named Whit, who had an idea he
could get me a situation, imagine my disgust
on discovering the billet to be that of a "Boots" & general
utility man about a hotel – I can write no more -
(Sunday) March 27th 1864 Lovely weather during the week, what a glorious contrast between this climate & that of N.Z. Victoria is a paradise in comparison Still no employment, tho’ I have answered several advertisements both personally & by
4/78 |
887
by letter - I received a letter from Mr Froggatt
at the beginning of the week - sympathising
with me in my misfortunes, he has heard
of nothing as yet likely to suit me, but he
states that if I am obliged to take to digging
or hard work again - that he will take me
on again in my old billet on the Nelson Reef
at the present rate of wages (£2.15.0 perweek
I am sure it is very kind of him to make
me such an offer, but I have no desire
to accept his offer. I dont think I could
stand the work now & the principal
reason of my declining it is, that I fear that
if I once more commenced my old life I
shall never have spirit enough ever
to abandon it again - he forwarded me a very
flattering testimonial of character which may
be of service of me - Tuesday night
Mrs. G called & I saw her home – sentimental
as ever - Wednesday evening I went into Mr Whites
to see Jessie, found her alone. I had a very bad
headache - which she cured by by a process of her
own, bathing the head in Eau de Cologne – a
very pleasent operation, when one is ailing, to have
the head manipulated by such fair fingers -
I left her about 10 Pm walked over to North
Melb to Mrs. Morriss who was giving a little
party Fred & Mary were there - & the usual set
I did not enjoy myself very much, suffering
from a bad cold – 4 am when we got home -
4/79 |
888
what a lot of humbug there is at these
affairs, nothing but affectation - if a person
howls, screams & makes a squeak its called
singing & it is most amusing to watch people
screw up their features into an extatic grin
& pronounce it beautiful - charming, Etc -
Good Friday was observed as a holiday. Fred & I took a long
walk about the suburbs. Spent the evening at Whites’
a Mr Clarke, a relative of theirs, a squatter, was there &
also a Mr Petherbridge, draper, the latter is an admirer
of Miss Flett & is paying the most persevering addresses -
to her, she treats him shamefully, that is if she means to give
him encouragement. Yesterday afternoon she & I went
down to Abbotsford together & visited a Mr & Mrs Drake
who keep a large school down there, they were very kind
to us gave us plenty of fruit out of their garden, made us
stay to tea after partaking of same we left for home
having spent a pleasent afternoon with them, after
seeing Jessie home I went to Smith St & met Mrs G
who had been to see some friends in this neighbourhood & was
returning home to Emerald Hill, we had not gone far
before we met my mother & Bessie who thought it rather
strange, I should be in Mrs. G company at such a time
& place so far from her home - on parting from my folks
we took a long strool together saw her home about 11
March 29th 1864 (Tuesday) Very hot the last two days. Yesterday, Easter Monday, was a general holiday, in the morning, in company with Ambler I visited the Herald printing office
4/80 |
889
per favour of the manager & for the first time in my life
saw a steam printing machine the mechanism of
which was fully explained to me it is truly wonderful
what science has done for humanity in this respect when
one imagines the vast amount of information daily
diffused amongst the population the benefits arising must
be invaluable - In the afternoon George Johnson & I went
to Studley Park for a bit of fun found enormous numbers
of people picnicing in the most enjoyable manner
possible, laughing, larking, dancing, Kiss in the Ring
Etc everywhere - without any regard to the dust, which
rose in clouds, & the intense heat of the north wind
blowing. We went in for a bit of fun & soon made
ourselves at home among many a pleasent party
of merry romping girls - I did not know a soul
when I went on the ground but I knew scores ere
I left it - I escorted one very pretty girl home just as
darkness was shedding her mantle over the scene, on
parting from her I made for our place, tired, dusty &
dirty - & was not long ere I went to bed. Tuesday, this
morning applied for two situations, no success
about 50 applicants for same. Im getting sick of seeing
the same faces continually, this afternoon I have spent
reading Rbt. Owens "Foofalls on the Boundaries of another
World", a work I am reading with interest, giving rise as
it does to a train of thought on theory of the spiritual
life of man on earth. This evening Mary & I took a
walk around town, called at Whites on our way home
to see if Jessie had returned from Ballarat, where she
went on a visit yesterday, she had arrived when we
left - as we did not stay long
4/81 |
890
[Friday, 1 April 1864]
(Friday) April 2nd 1864
Still no employment. Im miserable at my long
continued waiting for something to turn up. I dont
know what will become of me at last. I try to
banish thought, but our poverty is such that it racks
me to the heart, to be leading such an inactive
& unprofitable existence - Wednesday afternoon I spent
with Jessie Flett. I am getting too fond of going to see
her, what folly my foolish vanity leads me into I
sometimes think she likes me far more than an
ordinary acquaintance - for her own sake I hope I
am mistaken, for whatever feelings I entertain
toward [her] I shall never reveal, it is her extreme &
disinterested kindness & sympathy towards me which
draws me to her, our conversation & manner is as free
& as unconstrained as that of an affectionate Brother & Sister
however I must admit in justice to her that I am quite
unworthy of the affection of such a noble hearted girl
her friends wish her to marry Petherbridge who is really
a decent fellow & in a fair way of doing, having a good
drapery business of his own, she treats him sometimes
with the greatest contempt. I, on our last interview,
persuaded her all in my power to accept him &
think no more of me. I hope in time she may see
the propriety of the step. Wednesday evening, I went
to Griffins on Emerald Hill, met Mrs. Morris there
staid about two hours with them - Mrs. G made me
4/82 |
891
promise to meet her as last night in Fitzroy
which I did with great reluctance, we took a long walk
before seeing her home, very wrong, this sort of thing
curse my weakness, or hers. I really dont know
which is to blame the most - she is a poor weak silly
thing, her husband is an excellent man she admits
but he is so cool & unimpassioned that she declares
him repulsive - he is never jealous of her, she
goes when & where she likes & returns home
whenever she chooses, he never asks her any
questions - she is quite the reverse, full of ardour
hot & passionate in her nature, likes to love & to
be loved & does not appear to be particular either as
in my case, she is or affects to be jealous of me & yet
with all she is intelligent & well read, full of romance
& poetry, & what is more, is continually harping
about morality & platonic affection Etc the fact is she
is a half bred Frenchwoman & resembles them in her
abandoned & flippant yet philosophical style & manner -
Feeling a strange sense of uneasiness concerning my brother Edward, to day. I could not rest until I had written to him although my last to him is still unanswered, tis very strange he does not write. I trust nothing may have happened to him - I received a long letter from H.Vickerman yesterday, poor fellow he is not well in health, & can, when well, get very little work to do, he advises me to come to Bendigo again he said I should have no difficulty in finding work on the Quartz Reefs where I have worked before & he thinks it is preferable to my present inactive state - I cannot go. I have not a sixpence to pay my way there -
4/83 |
892
& to go up there penniless & have to sponge upon friends
goes somewhat against my grain - This evening
I spent with Jessie Flett - there is an awful storm raging
outside at present. I never saw more vivid lightning
during some of the flashes I can see for miles -
(Wednesday) April 6th 1864 Weather unsettled. Still no work. I have made personal applications & written several in reply to advertisements but to no purpose, goodness how much longer am I to be like this - I have many a time lately returned home after fruitless errands with the determination of packing up my swag & penniless start into the bush & take my chance as many a better men than I have had to do, but a word of kindness from mother, sisters or Jessie Flett has filled me again with hope & reconciled me to try the town again. Saturday /3rd inst Pickett & Hazlett called on me they have returned from Woods Point, having killed one of their horses on the road spent all their money & altogether have met with nothing but misfortune In the evening Fred took me to the Theatre where I saw Mr & Mrs. Chas Kean perform in the "Corsican Brothers" & afterwards in the "Jealous Wife" I never witnessed such complete finished acting before he is a wonderful man to have gained such a reputation under the physical disadvantages he labours under with a poor voice & not the most prepossessing figure for the stage. Sunday afternoon Bessie & I took a walk, after tea we went into Mrs. Whyts. I thought Jessie rather cool towards me - perhaps it was because Mr Petherbridge, who is paying the most constant
4/84 |
893
court upon her was present, but there was nothing
in her manner toward him that would lead me to think
she was giving him encouragement - Monday
evening, Mary & Fred went to a party at Mrs. Morriss
I was invited but did not go until late, 12 Pm, In
the meantime I went to see Jessie Flett, we took a
delightful walk through the Fitzroy Gardens sat down
under a lovely willow, talking in the most honied
tones such as only those who love can understand
how many times we kissed & swore we loved each other
heaven & the willow only know We spent a couple
of hours in the most rapturous & blissful state possible
I, in forgetfullness of all my troubles & she with regard
to the wisdom of our proceedings in our present
circumstances I scarcely know how we got home
& how I got to Mrs. Morriss afterwards, I was in
such an ecstatic state of bliss - that we are doing
wrong in nurturing affection that will come to
nought, we are both aware, at least we both admit
it, but there are moments when passion takes
precedence of discretion - & so it is in our case. I
am sure on reflection we shall laugh at ourselves
& our folly - Wednesday morning T.Grimwood
& I went down the Yarra to fish. I dont much
care for the sport & soon abandoned it & whiled
away my time in trying to compose sonnets to
Jessie Flett, what shall I say, beauty she has not much
but merit, few compare, sense, plenty, except in one
case & that is allowing herself to love me, however I
spoilt nearly all the leaves in my Pocket Book & after
all only managed to erudite some dozen lines
which from fear of being quizzed too severely at
4/85 |
894
by her, I consigned to the flames on my arrival home
Tom was no more fortunate than I, so we came
home early when feeling tired through being up
all the night before, I turned into bed & slept
Thursday morning I wandered about the town till
dinnertime trying to find or hear of something to
do - In the afternoon I went to see a Mr Hand who
is an accountant & commission agent, he wanted
a partner, finding he wanted some £25. as well
& not being in a position to beg, borrow or steal
such a sum, I had to give up all idea of it -
I called to see Jessie in the evening, we took a strool
& visited a Mrs. Chains on leaving her we went to
the Fitzroy Gardens for a couple of hours -
Friday, spent the morning in town, afternoon at my lesssons Etc In the evening Ambler Fred & I went to see Barry Sullivan in Bulwers play of ‘Money.’ Alfred Evelyn is one of his best characters, but he is awful stagey, we got wet through walking home. I met D Hazlett in the morning at a Horse Sale, heard some voice bellowing out the good qualities of some horse on looking at the person I recognised in him my old N.Z. mate Jms McEwan who left our party on the Dunstan, on the River rising, he has been in Melbourne a few months, horse dealing. Saturday I went about as usual in search of employment found none, spent the afternoon reading. In the evening
4/86 |
895
I went to Whites was introduced to a Mr Clarke, a
half brother to Mr. White. Jessie I found suffering
from a sore knee poor girl Im very sorry for
she is in great pain, however she managed at
the table & we spent a pleasent evening together
Sunday April 10th 1864 Spent the afternoon at the Fitzroy Gardens. Grimwood called & stayd tea, after which he & I went to St Peters Church from here we went to a hotel in Smith St kept by some friends of G’s named Brintana, there are three daughters, rather pretty girls, of course I made myself agreeable & had on leaving a most pressing invitation to come again. I called to see Jessie Flett, on my way home, her leg is still very painful
Thursday April 14th 1864 Lovely weather during the past few days still no work, very disheartened, writing & applying for situations is horrible work & what galls me most is my mothers patient hopeful consolations to me when I know she is head over ears in debt & still getting deeper in it with no prospect of them being paid. I feel that it is criminal living & loafing at home under such circumstances I really must take up my bed and walk - or in other words roll up my swag & take to the bush. God only knows how I recoil at the idea of again leading my old vagabond kind of life, yet whats a fellow to do! Last night Mrs Morris & Mrs. Griffin called at our house the
4/87 |
896
latter for the purpose of informing me that there
was a vacancy in the Booking office at the Rly
Station Emerald Hill where Mr G is Station
Master, thru’ Mrs G influence who got a letter of
recommendation from Mr G to the Secretary of the
M & H B Rly Co which she gave me for my benefit, so
this morning I called at the Rly office with it
& was introduced to the Accountant Mr Wakefield who
by the way is a Wroite, wearing hair down his back
like a woman a most eccentric looking individual
however, he desired me to remain, which I did
for about an hour until the Secretary T.Finlayson
came, when I was introduced, after looking at me
as one would do if purchasing a horse, they told
me to write my address, which I did in a
frightful manner, & that if I was required they
would send for me. I left the office in poor
spirits for I have little faith in such peoples
love of correspondence, but yet it does not belie
Mr Griffins kindness, he gives a party this evening,
my sisters & self are invited, & I have no doubt
we shall spend a pleasent evening. I met John
King on Tuesday, he is doing nothing, like myself
looking out for employment, tho’ I dont think
he cares much about work, he informed me
his sister "dear Isa" had just been confined of a
son & heir & that she is doing well, I should
so like to see & congratulate her. I shall never
cease to love her, my heart will never love so
4/88 |
897
freshly & with such holy pure emotions again Im
afraid as it did Isa, she is the bright green spot
in my life, time has worn off the feeling I used
to have for her & I may meet another I could love
but with a different sort of love to what I entertained
for her, my love for her was too ethereal in its
nature Im afraid ever to have been realized or
enjoyed by me.
Tuesday April 19th 1864 Weather getting cold - soon have the winter with its rain & chilling blasts. I heard from Mr. Griffin that I am not [to] fill the situation he tried to procure for me but I am to have the first offer of filling the next vacancy that occurs. I enjoyed myself very well at G last Thursday 5 am next morning when I got home. Saturday evening having had free passes sent us Mother Bessie Fred & I went to the Theatre I had made an appointment with Mrs G so I left them & met her. I dont like this clandestine meeting with married women & I have told her so but it only inflames her the more. I have never done her any wrong so far, our affection has been purely platonic, but platonic affections are dangerous things when married women are concerned. I feel wretched in her company not only at the fear of discovery but from a sense of the very dishonorable position the result may place us in after to night when I have to meet her, I am determined to be firm & to advise her not to meet me out again. I was a fool in the first
4/89 |
898
place for encouraging such an intimacy. Last night
Jessie Flett & I took a long walk rambling
through Fitzroy Gardens, a place where many
a tender scene is being enacted, a spot that must
have a peculiar interest to thousands of lovers
for it is the place where all flock to.
We received a letter from my Brother Edward to day, the first for many months, he is still living in Invercargil N.Z. ill, & he says he thinks he is suffering from disease of the heart brought on by the hardships he has endured in N.Z the past two years, poor Ned. God grant his fears are groundless - he informs us that he has not received one of the letters Mother & I have written to him. Very strange for I wrote twice my- -self & posted them he further informed us he had written & sent money to mother, but she has never received one or the other from him Mother & I wrote to him this afternoon -
[Saturday, 22 April 1864] Saturday April 23rd 1864 Weather miserable still no employment, met Mrs. G once or twice since I last wrote, & also been out for a walk with Jessie Flett. Last night having 4 Dress Circle tickets sent us for the Theatre, George Ramsden & I availed ourselves of them taking Bessie & Miss Reilly with us, to see Mr. & Mrs. C Kean in the play of the Gamester. I never witnessed such consumate acting in my life, in the last scene more especially so touching & heartrending.
4/90 |
899
[The top half of this page is missing]
Ra
a des
the
Gardl
I had
did no
with
by other g
once co
climbing
from
being a
corner
we were engaged at something improper tho I may here state that
during our whole acquaintance nothing of the sort ever took
place & Im sure never would, & I have heard that many have
been accused of criminality by them when none existed to extort money -
I knew at once they would pounce upon us & I had not a penny of
money on me. I had just time to tell Mrs. G to make off as fast
as she could & I would give the police a chase after me. I left
her going one way & while I went another with both police
close upon me when I had run some hundred or two yards I
looked around & found one police hesitating whether to follow or not
the other was not 5 yds from me & so I continued my running
hoping Mrs. G would have had time to get away, tho’ I feel
positive the other policeman returned after her. I was in
4/91 |
900
[The top half of this page is missing.]
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - clear
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - *** into
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - nt out
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - so if she
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - I *went
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - essing a
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - t wid
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - are
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - & searchd
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - *said to
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - he found
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - nd him
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - whose offer
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - & by
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -*heil
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - length
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - ill this
be to me for the future. I trust Mrs. G will be cured for
penchant" toward me -
Tuesday 26th April 1864
Weather still unsettled, went after a billet this morning, 30
applicants, no result, wrote in answer to one or two advertisements
no reply as yet, nor do I expect any I have been so often
disappointed that I getting hopeless if I hear of nothing this week
I mean to try the diggins again & stick to them & give up all
idea of ever settling down in society again. Last night I spent
at Mrs Whytes, with Jessie Flett. To night I went to a
little party at a Mrs. Gardners next door to Mrs Whytes
Jessie Flett & [I] left early & took a short walk together, there
is a Capt Dalgarno, who commands a fine ship called the
(1867) Capt D lost his ship on his voyage home at the Auckland Islands & suffered great privations - himself & another I believe were the only survivors)
4/92 |
901
"Invercauld" who appears to be very fond of Jessie, she
came out from England with him some years ago, & he
wishes her to marry him & return home with him. I hope
I dont stand in the way & I gave her my advice which she
asked. I like her very well but as for thinking of any
thing serious with regard to me would be downright madness
& I told her so, she hesitated some time but at length told the Capt
not to think anything more about her, for that she could
not love him Etc Etc - I parted with her in a most sentimental
mood -
Saturday 30th.April 1864
I have something interesting at length to relate. I have
actually got something to do & feel more settled in my mind
with regard to several things that have tended lately to make
me *writhe. I went after a situation about a fortnight ago
I was told to leave my address which I did & I
had forgotten the circumstance when I was sent for on Thursday
It appears the man who got the billet didnt suit, so finding
me out he asked me to go on trial for a couple of days which
I did, found the place in a St in Collingwood, a Grocers Shop
the man has two places of business, & he wants a manager
for this one. I commenced yesterday morning & he appeared
to be very well pleased with me, the hours were long from
7 Am till 8 Pm & 11 Pm on Saturdays. I didnt like
it but it or anything was preferable to doing nothing &
loafing at home living on my mother. I was very tired
and weary on leaving this evening, on arriving home, my
mother came to the door, & informed me that Mrs. G was
inside, Mother has an idea that everything is not as it
should be between us, and advised me not to see her
I walked down to the Rly Station hoping to see her when [she]
4/93 |
902
was going home for I cannot feel satisfied until I have
seen her & explained my part in the transaction of the
other night - Fred saw her home, I missing them by
some means - she confided the whole affair to him &
informed him that she thinks I acted cowardly in
leaving her, as I did, God help us, had I been captured
what a fearful expose there would have been – the
charge of cowardice galls me, it is the first time
it was ever applied to me - although my conduct on
the occasion might have appeared so to her, I thought
I acted most prudently at the time, making sure
that during the time the police were after me that she
would have got away - I didnt think there were others
near, at the time - I feel hurt at the stigma, I feel
& know few men more courageous (or foolhardy is
the true conception of the word in the sense she views
the matter in) than I am, as many acts in my life
were they known would verify - I will admit
I have not courage! to commit crime - but I
do know I have often risked my life to save another
& perhaps placed in circumstances would do so again
in a just cause - I found Mrs. G object in coming
to our house was to bring me a letter from the
Secretary of the Melb. & Hobsons Bay Rly Co
informing me that having been recommended by Mr. G
he offered me a situation in the Goods Dept. the salary
for the start, being very low, only £50 a year - I have
thought it over, the salary is nothing, but then it may
improve, the hours are short, from 9 to 5 & leave
4/94 |
903
on Saturdays at 12 am - & it may get me into something
better & besides being far more respectable than being behind
a Grocers counter from daylight to late at night doling
out pounds of Sugar & Salt, Etc so I think I will accept
the offer. I was merely informed I should be required on Monday
morning at 9 am when I should be enlightened to my duties
I called on my way home & informed Mr. Brown that I was
going to leave him so soon - he was sorry at my leaving him
but stated that if I did not like the Rly. I could come back to him
I am sure I ought to be thankful, for the kindness shown
me by people who are really nothing to me - This being a
busy day, Saturday, I went to Browns & helped him -
Thursday evening, I took a walk with Jessie Flett -
[Sunday, 8 May 1864]
May 10th.1864
Weather beginning to get very cold, sure approach of
winter, but what a contrast to the winter I spent
in NZ on the Dunstan surrounded by snow & frost
& living in a little tent, with no fuel to warm me
& hard up, living a miserable life I went last
Monday morning to my new situation at the Rly
my duties at the present, are confined to keeping a record
or list of all goods coming into the Sheds from the
different vessels at the Pier - not very difficult
work, but trying to my weak eyes, having a deal
of writing to do - the Sheds are very large, there
are about a dozen delivery clerks, with one or two
invoice & endorsing clerks, a Superintendent & an Overseer
Railway Pier, Sandridge, (now Port Melbourne) |
Tuesday night I went with Fred to hear the Opera
4/95 |
904
of Faust. There is some lovely music in it, but Squires
Escott & Wharton, the principal did not know their parts
or else were in bad voice for it fell very tame on my ears
the Byon Song of Marquisites & a Baritone Song (Medallion) pleased
me the most, & the Soldiers Chorus, I must not forget to
notice is a magnificent composition - Wednesday night
Jessie Flett & I went to a concert in the Orderly Room, a tame
affair staid the dancing afterwards. I was surprised yesterday
when waiting the arrival of a train to meet Harry & John
Dight & Ned Rowitt who had just landed from the "Alhambra"
from N.Z. they had been working up at the Lakes, before they
left which they did on raising as much as paid their passages
I was very glad to meet them, & so ends all Harrys & my
grand hopes & expectations that we had better than two years ago
poorer men & I am afraid not much wiser now than then
I received a letter from Ned, he is still in Invercargill -
complains of ill health, poor fellow I wish he was out of
that cursed country. I fancy he will not be long before
he leaves it judging from the tone of his letter. I had also a
letter from Hamilton, he is still in his billet, getting on
very comfortable, family all well. Jessie Flett & I have
lot done [a lot] of flirting this week, scarcely a day passing without
being in each others company
[Saturday, 21 May 1864 ?] May 21st 1864 A fortnight since I continued my journal negligence, emanating from from idleness, for I have plenty of time my duties at the Railway are very light, & so is my
4/96 |
905
salary. Spent the most of my spare time with Jessie Flett
much to the disgust of Petherbridge who is awfully jealous
of me. I can’t make her out, she encourages him & makes
him believe he is not indifferent to her, but yet lavishes her
love, which she does not hide, on me, I mean to leave of going with
her so much for the future. I should be very sorry to be the
cause of her losing such a chance of getting a good husband & a good
home as she will by marrying Mr. P. she is a fine jolly girl
& I like her very much, but it is impossible for me to be
serious with her, in my position I feel so unsettled. God
knows where I may be in a month. I may take a dislike to my
present billet, & be off to China or the South Sea Islands, for all I
know - Tuesday night Jessie & I went to see Barry Sullivan
in "Ruhelem", he was very fine. We went to a Tea Meeting
together on Wednesday & did any thing but behave ourselves
[Saturday, 28 May 1864] 127 Johnston St Fitzroy May 28th 1864 (Melbourne)
Weather very unsettled during the week, been busy at the office, having lots of vessels at the Railway Pier discharging their cargoes. I am getting better acquainted with my work but I find myself lamentably ignorant on the simplest subjects connected with mercantile routine, little boys of 13 know 10 times more than I do. Customs, Entries, B/L, Invoices Books of this & that, are all foreign to me, things I never heard about on the diggins. Tuesday being Queens Birthday was a holiday. I spent the morning in writing to Father gave him a long account of how we are situated, requesting him if in his power, to asssist us by sending mother
4/97 |
906
some money to live upon, my sisters school is not
much, does not pay for the trouble attending it - In the
afternoon I went to Emerald Hill, to see the
Griffins spent the afternoon with them Mrs. Morris was
there. Mrs. G & I managed to have a few minutes
together, she is in an awful state lest our affair
gets wind. I impressed upon her the necessity of
behaving ourselves for the better in future - she wished
to meet me again but I could not agree - I would
not have gone this time but I had heard that Mr.
G had said that I was not so fond of visiting him as
I used to do, now he had got me into the Railway -
Last Saturday night Jessie & I took a strool together she was very cool & very strange in her behaviour to me we parted in the same spirit, no explanation being asked or given. Sunday night I met her with Mr. P. Monday night she went to a concert with him. Tuesday she went with him & spent it at his fathers house. Wednesday night I thought Id go to see her, which I did, she was very cool & distant but looked sorrowful & *conscious, she knew her behaviour must appear very cruel to me, & I fancy my looks led her to believe so, for after talking about an hour on indifferent subjects I asked her the cause of her altered manner, whether she had become engaged to Mr P & if so to tell me, she threw her arms around my neck & confessed such was the case, her friends had advised her to take the step that she had had a hard struggle to conquer her passion for me, but hoped I would forgive her, it was a most
4/98 |
907
affecting scene - for I really was spooney on Jessie - I put
the best face on the matter & advised her to take the step &
not to think any more of me - while we were sitting
locked in each others arms Mr. P called at the door, I wiped her
tears away & we had a most affectionate last silent parting
at the back of the house, she was opening the front door for him
to come in while I was vaulting the behind fence to get out,
she spent last evening at our house till 10 pm when a
message came to say that Mr. P was at Mrs. White so she went
to him - We had a joyful surprise on Tuesday by
my brother Edward, the long looked & anxiously waited
for one came home, thank God, he is in good health &
looks remarkably well & handsome - of course he has no
money but I hope he will soon get something to do in
Melbourne - & everything will go on well for the future
he seems very unsettled & restless, & likes to be on the move
he has led anything but a steady life lately, had a great many
ups & downs.
May 31st 1864 Weather very fine for this time of the year. Saturday night in company with Jessie Flett, my sisters & brother Ned & I went to town, visited Paddys Market & had fine fun, on reaching home & getting rid of the others Jessie & I rambled about until nearly 12., she was agitated & I was distressed, we came to the conclusion at last just to continue for the future as friends – tho if I were to hold out any hopes & my being in a position to marry her, Im sure she would wait for me – but I have no such desire, & I do not mean to prevent
4/99 |
908
her marrying Mr. P if I can help it. Sunday morn
Mary & I went to St Marks Church heard Mr. Barber
preach an excellent sermon. In the afternoon we took
a long walk. In the evening I did ditto. G.Kelly, an
admirer of Bessies, & G.Johnston came to tea. Monday
I went to Dights, found Harry & John D. were going
to join an evening class at Mr. Ross’s an old officer
in reduced circumstances, a nephew of Ross the
Arctic Explorer, they asked me to go with them which
I did. We are to meet three times a week, & learn Book
Keeping & Arithmetic, terms 2/6 per week. It will tend
to keep me from visiting Jessie & that is something
gained, on coming home I found my mother had gone
to Whytes, & I was fearful lest she might cause some
unpleasentness, for she is very hot & hasty & ill brooks
any slight upon any member of her family she
knows how soft Jessie & I are together, but I cannot
make her understand how Jessie can love me & yet be
prepared to marry P. found all very composed when I
got there had some supper & left about 11 pm.
June 4th.1864 Melbourne Saturday afternoon, just returned from business what different hours & what an altered life I am leading to the rough wild bush life of a few months back, if I had only a salary I could live upon I should be very comfortable, in my new life, always something or another to annoy one & make him dissatisfied
4/100 |
909
troubles of ones own making or anothers creating
tho I must say from a long experience that if all our
griefs sorrows & afflictions Etc could be traced to their
source we should find that the majority of them are
of our making - why have we all these troubles
in a world where everything seems so beautifully
arranged and ordered, why is human nature always so
perverse and distorted, Gods highest creation & yet his
meanest, when we come to analyse mans mean
& pitiable mind, with all its selfishness &
paltry motives - I have not seen Jessie since
Tuesday night. I fancy from something I heard
that my mother & her have had some words, tho’ what
about I can’t make out. I may see Jessie to night
& will get it out of her - Wednesday & Friday nights
I spent at the Evening Class, on coming home last
night found our house full of visitors, Kelly & Caffyn
the great English Cricketer, among the number. I dont
think he the latter is a gentleman, very little to say, but rather
conceited, his great desire all the evening was to call our
attention to a magnificent diamond Ring he wore –
we spent a jolly evening singing & talking Etc -
Poor Ned is still doing nothing he has tried hard to get a situation, I hope he will not be so long idle, as I was, for we are very poor, I dont know how my mother keeps a home together, she is considerably in debt, my sister Mary works hard teaching & does not get well paid for that, tho she never grumbles
4/101 |
910
I do nothing to help, my salary not sufficient to
keep me in food & clothes. I regret now leaving
Browns, for I see little prospect of getting an increase
of salary for a long while to come - I have just
seen Jessie, found her greatly troubled, through
me not going to see her lately, during the afternoon
I had sent her a "Bouquet" she thought by me not taking it my-
self I did not purpose seeing her any more, I could not ascertain
what passed between my mother & her the other day. Something has
been said of an unpleasent nature, I am sure. I feel very sorry
, she (Jessie) told me that she had been & seen my mother during
the afternoon & apologized for what she had said, what that was, I
would like to know, Mrs. Whyte was out. I staid with Jessie
about 3 hours. I dont know what she thinks of Mr. P-
but after the demonstrations of affection she continually
displays towards me, I do not envy his state of mind, that
is if he is aware of our connection, & he cannot be blind
to the partiality she affects for me.
[Sunday, 12 June 1864] 11 June, 1864 Sunday finished Telemachus, wish I had it to read over again, being a wet day I spent it reading Longfellows poetry. In the evening, Edward & I went to St Peters left before the sermon, having a bad headache, the effects of a severe cold I am suffering from, Monday & Tuesday evening I went to school, I am making great progress in Arithmetic & Book Keeping. Harry Dight & I are at the same desk Mr. Ross gives us the credit of being his best boys -
4/102 |
911
the other scholars are studying to pass the Civil Service
examination, he wishes Harry & I to try & do likewise
he thinks we would pass after another six months steady
application. I pay him 2/6 per week small the sum is
& I can ill afford it, so I am determined to make the best
of my time in acquiring a knowledge of what I know I
actually am deficient in, & not spend a lot of time in
studying what is of no benefit to me, but yet necessary to have
on passing the examination. Wednesday evening having had a
a deal of writing to do at the office, my eyes which are
very weak, being sore I did not go to Ross’ as usual, so
I went into Mrs. Whyte, found Jessie very jolly entertaining a
lot of company, that left shortly after my arrival, so Jessie &
I were left together. I was in a nasty mood, very satirical
& indulged my bent very extensively at her expense, she was
all goodness & did her best to dispel my spleen, but having
a presentiment Mr. P was coming, which he did at his usual
hour (9.pm) after closing his shop (in Eliz St), he was shown
into the parlour, Jessie & I whispering away all manner of
rubbish till I left after keeping poor P. above for half an hour
On Thursday evening on arriving home my mother informed me that my brother Edward came home about noon & hastily packing up his things, bade adieu to mother & my sisters, telling them that he was sick of being idle in Melbourne, any longer he had not 1/- & mother had nothing to give him, he called on me at the office about 2 hours previous & asked me if I had any money. I had not a 6d. but told him I had a few shillings in my desk at home that he could
4/103 |
912
get if he liked, he walked out of the office without saying
a word, & that is the last I saw of him, he said nothing
about his going away, nor has he taken the money from
my desk, he told mother he had an idea of going to
Geelong or up the country with some cattle dealers - Poor
Ned, I suppose he got disheartened, all of us being so very
poor & not seeing or meeting with any thing in town to
suit him, he feels it hard being without money, he is fond
of billiards & rather prone to games of chance & skill & there
are so many inducements & temptations in Melbourne, that
it must have been doubly hard for him to be without money
to spend than myself. I love Ned dearer than any of my
of my family, having been so much together, & suffered so
many hardships & privations together. I feel his loss now very
acutely, feeling that it was the only chance we might
ever have of getting him to ourselves & reform him &
wean him from his speculative propensities I pray God
to keep him, watch, & guard him from all temptations - I
wish I knew which way he has gone - I hope when he
returns that he will be changed for the better, he possesses
the noblest attributes of a man, if only they were directed in a proper
channel - would lead him to become a thoroughly good man
Mother has been greatly upset since he left, he might
have told his plans & where he intended going to, instead of
the Cock & Bull tale he told her, she is very anxious about
him & in great suspense. Friday evening I went to school
home by 9.15.Pm Met Miss Rielly, who had been to
4/104 |
913
see Mother & during a conversation in which Jessies name
was mentioned, Miss Reilly heard all about what passed
some days ago, between them, both have hot
tempers & mother provoked Jessie & she retorted Etc. I was
very cross when I got home - & had some words with my
mother upon the subject, for which I am very sorry for
now -
[1864-06-19-Sunday]
June 18th.[19th] 1864
Lovely weather during the past week, the English Mail
arrived on the 12th. bringing us no letters, but a few
newspapers, mother is very much cut up at
my fathers neglect, he might write oftener, even if he is
not in a position to send her money. Monday & Tuesday
evenings I called upon Mr. Ross, but that gentleman
having received a large sum of money by the last mail
has been on the spree ever since & unable to give instruction
in consequence, he is a man that has seen a deal of
service in the navy received many wounds, fought four
duels in his young days & a little drink makes him
mad, he married some girl very much beneath him
in position & his relations cut him, he quitted the service
& came to Sydney where he obtained a Professorship in the
College his besetting sin, drunkenness, was the cause of his
losing that & several other situations, until he was compelled
to leave Sydney, he has been but a short time in Melbourne
& is at present in very poor circumstances, it is a great pity
that a man possessing such talents as he does should be so
devoid of self respect. Wednesday evening I spent with Jessie Flett
Thursday evening Fred & I went to the Howsons Benefit
4/105 |
914
to the Theatre Royal, they performed "Der Freyshutch" & the
last Act of Maritana the two Miss Hs sang very well but
John Howson their uncle, who used to be considered the best
Tenor in the colony, sang wretchedly he has lost his voice
I feel very much for an artists downfall the house was
crowded & they must receive some considerable benefit
from the performance. Friday evening several visitors
dropped in, sent the evening very pleasently singing Etc -
Saturday, left the office at 12 am, spent the afternoon writing & reading & gardening, spent the evening with Jessie Flett took a long walk together in the Fitzroy Gardens - 10 pm when I left her, found a very pretty girl at our house, Miss Crispen, I had to walk home with her I received a couple of newspapers from Hamilton. I am surprised he did not write -
[Sunday, 26 June 1864] June 25.[26] 1864 Weather has been unsettled during the week, very busy at the office, several large ships at the pier, my duty is to render a continual statement of goods arriving from the various ships, in the sheds so that I have a great deal of writing to do which does not improve my sight. I often feel I shall have to give up my situation in consequence. I will have to discontinue going to Ross’s for the future, for after writing at the office all day I cannot read or write at night. I went two evenings. Oh why am I so tired, me that was so ambitious & desirous of pushing myself on in the world to be thus checked at the
4/106 |
915
very outset of life by the greatest of afflictions, Melbourne
observed Thursday afternoon as a holiday the funeral of a
good man, the Honble. Richard Heales taken place, he had
been the Chief Secretary, a temperate & able legislator & about
the most honest man in the Government, respected &
honored by all classes however their political tendencies
may have differed from his he died at the early age
of Forty two (42) the colony will miss him, I took my
sisters to see the procession pass to his last resting place in
the Cemetery, it was the longest ever witnessed in the
Australian colony, every shop & place of business was
closed, in the evening Jessie Flett & I took a walk together
Friday night Fred & I went to hear the Opera of the
"Prophete" performed by Lysters Opera Company. Escott &
Durand sang beautifully. Squires & Wharton sang well
there is some lovely music in the piece, I must try & hear
it again - I received a note from H.Vickerman, he
is still the same cross grained peculiar fellow as ever he was
he is living at Piggotts, Long Gully Bendigo, doing
nothing on the look out for a situation, poor fellow he
is a cripple & he finds it hard to get into something that
will suit him, he informs me Bessie Piggott is dead
poor girl I remember her when she was little more than
a baby 10 years ago & many a romp I have had with
her, he has seen nothing of the Kings for a long time
Mrs. Hooper is as jolly as ever, Lizzie is very comfortably
settled, he also informs me that J.Stewart has joined the Christy
Minstrels as 1st. tenor, strange the tenor that left them was the same
name
4/107 |
916
Saturday evening I spent at Mrs. Whytes - Sunday
morning I went to Church. In the afternoon Fred
& I took a walk to the Fitzroy Gardens met my sister
Mary & her friend Miss McLaurin, who induced us to
extend our rambles, after tea I was surprised by my
old friend James Stewart calling. I had no idea he
was [in] town, he is quite a swell to what I remember him
when he used to work in Bendigo Creek gold digging like
myself - he informed me he has been with the Christys
3 weeks, during which time he has sang at Bendigo
Castlemaine, & Geelong, causing quite a sensation with
his singing, he is receiving £5 per week & all expenses paid
he leaves tomorrow per Aldinga for Adelaide where they have
a long engagement. I was glad to hear he has been so
successful, we went to hear Dr. Cairns preach, after the
service we returned home, he sang some beautiful
pieces for us, "Comfort Ye" from the Messiah being, I think
his masterpiece, he is much improved since last I heard
him, when we used to go to Pollards together, he tells me
he was an articled pupil of Pollards for 3 years -
July 1st 1864 Friday. This being a holiday (Seperation Day) & having nothing particular to do I thought I would spend a few moments in writing for the sake of practice, I have nothing of importance to note but being very methodical in my habits I like occasionally to write down an epitome of my doings & thinkings, & record whether time as been misspent or
4/108 |
917
otherwise. I seldom allow myself to commit any very
heinous sins, nor yet do I give myself the credit of being
particularly virtuous either in thought or deed. I have
my loose lax notions on many subjects I should be [more]
particular about, this is a common failing with man –
has to imagine he is no worse than his neighbour -
this idea is extremely foolish - thinking because there
are worse in the world than yourself, that you are
better than others, for we deceive ourselves awfully in
thus drawing comparisons between the worst of our
race instead of the better.
Monday morning I staid at home, a Swiss gentleman Mr. Tunustein spent the evening with us, Tuesday evening Fred & I went to the Theatre to hear the Inscrutable Barlow it is many years since I saw him before, & he amused me as much as ever by his comicalities. Wednesday evening I went to Ross’s Evening Class. I had to leave early, my sight not permitting me to see longer. I am afraid I must give it up. Thursday evening having an order sent me for the Theatre, I took my sister Bessie to hear the Lyster Opera troupe in "Le Prophete", the same piece I listened to with such pleasure last week. I enjoyed it much better last night - I went to the office this morning found it closed, on returning home I met the Volunteers going to Emerald Hill, a Parade or a Revue being held there I met Miss Prender and a young fellow named Henry Clark, who had just returned from NZ where I knew him slightly in Dunedin, I after parting with Miss P. I
4/109 |
918
accompanied Harry to his home, the "Fortune of War" Hotel
which his mother keeps, he introduced me to his sister
who invited me to a party at their house this evening. I
went about 9 Pm left about 12 enjoyed myself very so so
everybody being strangers to me, however I have the happy
knack of making myself at home wherever I go & the rest
of the company were very cross at my leaving so early -
Saturday 2nd. home early from the office, spent the afternoon reading went into Mr. Whytes in the evening - Sunday 3d Went to St Peters Church in the morning heard a sermon on the parable of the "Prodigal Son", by Mr. Handfield, remained at home in the afternoon our house being full of visitors who dropped in among the number were Mr. & Mrs. Wollaston, shipmates of ours from England, after tea H.Clark called for me & we went to the Wesleyan Church Lonsdale St. met some lady friends of his, Miss Finnagens, two sisters, whom he introduced me to, enjoyed a pleasent walk home with them. July 10th.1864 Lovely weather during the week. Very busy at the office Wednesday & this evening I spent in Whytes, Friday evening Fred & I went to the Theatre to see the play "Henry the 4th." Barry Sullivan as Hotspur & Lambert as Falstaff, it was a treat, not soon to be forgotten - Saturday afternoon, we went to St Kilda to find a Mrs. Walker who owes my mother some money, after a long walk we found her house, but were unable to get
4/110 |
919
any money from her so we had but the pleasure
of our walk to compensate us for our pains -
spent to day reading, went to Lonsdale St in the evening -
met my new friends walked home with them - Mary
& I took a walk in the afternoon, met George Ramsden, who came home
to tea with us -
July 17th.1864 Weather very cold, but tolerably fine on the whole, The E Mail arrived at the beginning of the week, & as usual brought us nothing from father, but a few newspapers it is not the thing him not writing if even unable to send mother any money, she feels his neglect in this respect bitterly, it appears to me very unnatural that they should be so separated in their old age - I have no patience with my father I know of no plea that could exonerate him in the course he has taken a man with his abilities & such a thorough knowledge of business ought to be in an independent position if he had remained in the colony, & not have been idle I am sick of thinking upon the subject
Tuesday & Thursday evening I spent at Finlays, several amateur vocalists there, managed to make time pass pleasently singing. I have been several times into Mrs. Whytes, she is very anxious about her "gude mon" who is in N.Z. & is expected home daily. This evening Jessie & I took a long strool together talking on indifferent subjects Friday night Fred & I went to see B.Sullivan in the play of "Love" a beautiful piece, but excessively romantic & overdrawn & bordering on the improbable. Sullivan was
4/111 |
920
was grand in the character of Huon
July 23, 1864 Weather very unsettled, the beginning of the [week] being ushered in with heavy rains to such an extent that the River Yarra overflowed its banks, all the low ground about Richmond being covered with water scores of houses distroyed between town & Emerald Hill the road was impassable,. the township with its 10,000 inhabitants being completely severed from Melbourne by a sea of waters, a vast amount of property has been distroyed in consequence of this flood the company I am employed by are great losers, traffic being suspended for a while. In the Dpt. I am engaged in suffers, all the clerks sitting looking at each other - doing nothing I am happy to state the flood is subsiding now, when I hope to see everything go on as usual next week. Last Sunday being wet I never stirred out of the house, Monday evening I remained at home - Tuesday evening I spent at H.Dights, on arriving home found our house full of visitors, who stayd till late, Wednesday night I spent at Whytes till 10 pm, Thursday night I went to St Kilda to try & get some money from Mrs. Walker, succeeded with a deal of trouble in getting settled with her. I wrote to Harry Vickerman, last Monday, on Bendigo enquiring whether he had heard or seen anything of my brother Edward it is very unnatural on his part, not writing & letting us know where he is. Mother is continually anxious
4/121 |
921
about him. I have received no reply from Harry as yet to
my communication - I went out this afternoon about 4 Pm
for a strool met my sisters in town walked home with
them, called at the Telegraph Office, to see if the Alhambra
was in sight, Mr. Whyte is expected from N.Z. in her -
[Saturday] 30th July 1864 Weather fine. Busy at the office. Last Sunday afternoon I took a strool about Fitzroy Gardens, met G. Ramsden came home and had tea with me after which, we went to Lonsdale St Church, heard an awful long sermon, which George said had no limit to it & thanked God audibly when it came to an end, an old lady in the pew, who heard seemed so shocked & drew in her skirts as if their contact with such wicked wretches as us, would damn her, we saw the Miss Fannagans home, & accompanied George a little way home afterwards, I receivd a long letter from Harry Vickerman, he has heard nothing of Ned. I think he must have left the colony, Harry & a lot of friends have been out to Bullock Creek, a long account about the Piggotts a long account about his sister Lizzie & her husband, Uncle, he informs me, is still in St Australia, Martha is likely soon to give birth to another little ‘Smith’. I have been into Whytes several times, Mr. W. came home last Sunday to the unspeakable joy of Mrs. W. & little ones, I notice great preperations going on for the approaching wedding which is to come off on the 11th.August,. Friday night I spent at Finlays "squalling" with several others there
4/113 |
922
[Sunday, 31 July 1864]
Sunday. Last night I went into Whytes. Jessie was
all alone. We had a long talk about things past
present & future, bade her adieu, as I dont intend seeing
her again if I can help it before she is married -
I am getting sick of Melbourne, my salary is
so small & I see very little chance of promotion
that even if a vacancy occur there are so many
who have a prior right to it, that my case seems
hopeless, my clothes are getting shabby & I dont
know how I can procure new ones. I have been
thinking very seriously of going to the diggings again
but when I suggest such a thing at home, my
family go on so that I am obliged to abandon
the idea. I went for a walk this afternoon with
Harry Clark, after tea we went to Church heard the
Revd Joseph Dare preach an excellent sermon, after
which we met the Misses Fannagans, jolly girls, we
accompanied them home.
[Saturday, 6 August 1864]
August 7th 1864
Weather very fine. Been disgusted all the week by my
mother & sisters accounts of Jessie Fletts wedding
preperations, every day my ears have been pestered
with accounts Bonnets, Laces, Flowers, Mantles Dresses
Etc Etc. I never hear anything about the ceremony
its seriousness & responsibilities Etc it is nothing but
vanity, vanity, How shall I look! What a stir! what
4/114 |
923
will people say! & think! everything is to be on a
grand scale, wedding breakfast, wedding or bridal tour
My God! What a different prospect of waiting to become
my wife, whatever can have made Jessie so
thoroughly worldly & craving for display, she that is
so naturally simple in her tastes and desires
she that professed such contempt for such things, & was
always so sarcastic & bitter in her remarks to any
who she met that happened to be fond of parade & show
my sister Bessie is to be one of her Bridesmaids.
Mother & Mary are going to the wedding I am invited
but I wont go - Wednesday evening I spent at Finlays
Thursday evening I went to Harry Clarks mothers who
made me very welcome, Miss C. sings & plays, so I
managed to pass a pleasent evening Friday night
I went to see Barry Sullivan in the play of “Hunchback”
This afternoon, Saturday, I went to the Public Library read
for a couple of hours, went into a Barbers shop &
had my hair cut, coming home, the Barber is a
phrenologist & passed a fine eulogium upon my
perecraniums. I had a fine bit of fun out of him
August 14th. 1864 The weather has been very unsettled during the week Miss Flett was married on Thursday after the ceremony was over her husband & self, went to Geelong, to spend their honeymoon. We were surprised on Wednesday by my couzin Mary Ann Peat paying us a visit, her
4/115 |
924
husband & self have been living in Launceston the
last 7 years and are now going to Adelaide to
settle down. Peat left on Friday morning. Mary Ann
is going to Bendigo to see Harry & Liz before she goes
she has been staying with us. Tuesday we received a
short note from my brother Ned, he is living at a
place called Havelock in the province of Marlborough
N.Z how on earth he found his way there God
only knows, for he does not inform us, he states
that he is in a situation & getting good wages, but
he does not think it will be very permanent - I
trust he will keep steady & will not be so foolish
in the future as in the past, poor old fellow, it is
quite a relief of my mind to know that he is
alive & well. I went to the Theatre with Fred on
Tuesday night to see Lady Don who has lately returned
from England after conveying the body of her husband
home who died in “Hobart Town” she has improved
very much in her acting but I dont think her vocal
powers are so good as when I last heard her before
going to N.Z. Friday night I went to hear the
opera of “Trovatoria” & a part of the “Lily of Killarney,”
Beaumont our rising Melbourne artiste singing
the tenor in the latter in a style which bids soon
to rival Squires in popularity. Last night I took
4/116 |
925
my cousin to the Haymarket Theatre to see the Burlesque
Lady Don playing the principal character, much to our
amusement, got wet through coming home. To day
(Sunday) Mary, my cousin, & I took a walk to the *University
Grounds. They are nicely laid out & serve as a charming
promenade for the residents in the neighbourhood
after tea I went to Chapel met a young lady friend
there & saw her home - Yesterday afternoon Bessie & I
& my cousin went to the Library & spent a couple of
hours there -
August 21st.1864 Weather very unsettled. Mary Ann left us on Monday for Bendigo where she intends remaining for a few days with her sister Lizzie Tuesday evening my sister Mary & I spent at Harry Clarks mothers, came home early people being there I did not much like Wednesday I styd at home Thursday evening I spent at Finlays. Friday he called for me & I accompanied him to the B.S. Chapel Choir of which he is a member, heard some good singing, the two Miss Reeves, who sing there have excellent voices Fanny the alto is well worth hearing Saturday afternoon I spent at home doing odd jobs about the house In the evening Miss McLauren called & I had to see her home she is getting intolerable expects me to trot about with her, in fact asks to see her home. I for the future when she visits us intend to be absent, on leaving her last night I
4/117 |
926
went to the Haymarket Theatre, met Fred, Finlay
& H.Clark there. The Howsons & Lady Don playd
a piece called the Black Domain in which are
introduced some fine songs - after which Lady Don
introduced three of her Grand Tableaux, the “Dth of Nelson”
“Rory Ontore” & the McGregors Gathering, the first she
sang in a style that has never been surpassed
in the colonies. The Theatre was crowded to excess
we had to stand up half the time. This morn
I spent at home reading the newspaper. In the afternoon
Mary & I took a walk, came on to rain, met
G Johnston who came home to tea with us -
after which I went to Wesley Church met Miss
F & saw her home - on arriving home I found
Tom Kelly at our house & two other gentlemen
friends of my sisters -
August 28th.1864
Weather very wet & disagreeable during the last
few days, rather strange Wednesday morning was
very frosty, & at night a phenomenon occurred
which was a sight very singular to see, a Rainbow
Monday & Tuesday nights I remained at home
Wednesday I went to the Theatre Royal to see
the play of “Guy Mannering” performed. J Howson
took the part of “Bertram” which disappointed me
he has been a good singer, but has not the shadow
4/118 |
927
of a voice left his acting was on a par with his
singing very mediocre. Thursday evening Mary went
to a party given by Mr Gotch of Et Melbourne I
had to go for her at 11 Pm in the meantime Miss
McLauren [called] & I was obliged to see her home (4 miles
very much against my inclination the consequence
was I was very tired on arriving at Gotchs where I
was pressed to remain which I did, & enjoyed
myself first rate Mr. Gotchs brother, William, was
leaving the colony for England the following day -
& the party was given in his honour, they came
out to Melbourne seven years ago & have been very
fortunate in business as News Agents in Collins St
Mr. G & wife are exceedingly nice people -
it was 5 am next morning when we got home
Saturday I got home at 1 Pm spent the afternoon
chopping wood & doing jobs about the house
Last night Fred & I took a walk into town met
Miss Prendor walked home to Richmond with her
Spent to day (Sunday) at home, reading Etc, In the
evening Harry Clark called for me, had tea at his
house, from there we went to Wesley Church, heard a
long dry sermon that I dont think profited us
[1864-09-04] Sept 4th 1864 Miserable weather, every other day raining Been very busy at the office several large ships discharging - I have applied to the Secretary
4/119 |
928
for an increase of salary I trust I may be successful
for my present salary is not as much has many
a lad gets I have spent most of my evenings
away from home. Tuesday evening Fred & I
went to the Theatre to hear a new tenor singer
who calls himself Signor Castelli from the
Conservitoire de Paris) he is a good age, & might
at one time have possessed a good voice, but has
not much of it left, yet I must say that he is
without exception the most finished artiste
that has ever visited these shores - I hear that
Castelli is only an assumed name & that he is
staying in the colony for the good of his health
where he purposes commencing to teach music &
I have no doubt that he will do well. I wish
I had the means to go to him for lessons -
Lady Don & the sisters Howsons sang well the same
evening altogether I have seldom spent a pleasenter
time Thursday evening Fred & I went to a Concert
at St Georges Hall in aid of the Shakesperian fund
all the music that was sung were incidental to his
plays, all were amateurs with Miss O.Hamilton
who performed. I was sorry to see such poor attendance
considering the object of the concert, the erection of
a Statue to the Poets memory. Friday evening
Finlay called & I went with him to the B.St
4/120 |
929
Wesley Church Choir, on leaving there I went to H.Clarks
house for my sister Mary who had been spending the
evening with Miss. C. Last night Fred & I went to
the Theatre. This morning I went to the Roman
Catholic Chapel Eliz St & heard the choir sing Mozarts
12th Mass which was sung very well In the afternoon
In company with Finlay & H.Clark, I went to Sandridge
enjoyed the sea breeze after tea I went to Wesley Church
Lonsdale St on my arrival home I found several
friends & acquaintances here among the number J.J.
Clark who has been absent from our house through
some disagreement with my sister, they appear to
understand each other pretty well now - I must talk
to him, for I dont intend allowing him to dally on
much further with my sister without some understanding
from him in reference to his intentions towards her -
My cousin Mary Ann Peat returned from Bendigo
last Monday & left the next day for Adelaide in
the ‘S.S Coorong’
[1864-09-11] Sept 11th 1864 The weather has been delightfully pleasent during the past week. I have been very unwell lately suffering from a severe cold I must have caught last Sunday evening, violent headache & pains in my body & limbs have been my fate to bear, the past few days - Tuesday evening I spent at Finlays. Wednesday evening in company with a fellow clerk of mine (F Rooke) the only one in the Rly Cos employ that
4/121 |
930
I have, as yet, fraternized with) went to the Theatre
to see Lady Don in Burlesque. Friday night my
brother Fred & I went for a strool about town
Thursday night we went to hear an eccentric
character named Wemys Jobson at St Georges
Hall deliver his political opinions, which amounted
to nothing but “bosh” he is lately from England or
America where he gained a not very enviable rep-
-utation as an historian & political scribbler -
& also for publishing a libel against a nephew of
the “Duke of Wellington” which cost him two years
liberty - his views on matters of reform which was
his principal theme, I think are sound, but rather
too Utopian for practical purposes - he managed
to be nominated as a fit & proper person to represent
us in Parliament tho I am sure he will
not number with the successful ones - Saturday
evening I went to town met F.Rooke who insisted
upon me going to the Theatre Royal, which I did
but as we could not find standing room, being so
crowded, we soon left & went to the Haymarket
I met Harry Dight on coming out, walked home
together, he is doing nothing, but making love
at present - This morning, Sunday, Taggart & I
went to the Roman Catholic Chapel heard some good
singing - came away as the sermon commenced
been raining ever since, not been out. Several visitors
in the evening called but did not stay long
4/122 |
931
Sept 18th.1864
Weather very unsettled one day hot & the next
wet & cold. Spent the week as usual, drudging away
at the office, from 9 am on to 5 Pm. find it very irksome
being accustomed to so much excitement. Tuesday
night I went to town met Jms Stewart, tenor in
the “Christy Minstrels” who had just returned from Adelaide
where they have had a successful tour, he left for Bendigo
the next morning, they have taken the Princess Theatre
for a short, time & opened last night, Jim returning
only in time to appear. I went to hear the Band
who sing first rate, their part music has never been
equalled in the colony. Jim sang very well, his style
& voice is much admired in musical circles, he is
greatly improved since I last heard him. Thursday
night I went to Harry Clarkes, home by 10 Pm
found Geo Kelly & J.J.Clark at our house - I spoke
to the later about his intentions to my sister Mary
but could get nothing satisfactory from him, nor can
I make her out, they seem to understand each-
-other, which is more than any one else can. I only
hope it will be all right in the end. Friday night
Fred & I went to see Mr. & Mrs Cases Entertainment
at the Polytechnic Hall. Sunday, spent the morn
& afternoon at home reading. In the evening I went to
St Peters Church, met J.Stewart there, who came away
together, home with me & spent the evening singing for us -
4/123 |
932
Sept 25th 1864 Melbourne
Weather very unsettled one day fine & the next
wet & so on Etc. Spent my time much as usual
one place or another Two of my evenings I
spent in listening to the Christy Minstrels Monday
night Fred Rooke (a fellow clerk of mine, & the only one
that I am at all familiar with) came home
from the office with me after tea we went to
the Theatre & knocked about together nearly all
night. Last night my brother Fred & I went to
the Theatre This morning I met F.Rooke & we
went to the Catholic chapel, the attraction being
to hear an old favourite, (Julia Mathews that was)
Mrs. Mumford, sing. I have not heard her since
I left N.Z. where she was playing when I was there
her voice has much improved, she sang a splendid
solo from some Mass, at its conclusion F.R.
accompanied me home & spent the rest of the
day at our house, visiting Fitzroy Gardens
in the afternoon & St Peters Church in the
evening after which I walked a part of the
way home with Lizzy. I received a long letter
during the week from my friend Hamilton
enclosed in it was a "Carte de Visite" of Mrs. H. &
himself taken together, both excellent likenesses
J.H. informs me that my old employer Field
is nearly received in consequence of the
4/124 |
933
the great falling off in business when he formerly
employed four he has only a small boy to assist
him now. I feel sorry for him, for he was a decent
fellow, that is when he is not ruled by his wife
whom I shall always feel a detestation towards
Beckingsal is still in Dunedin. I saw H.Dight
one day last week, he had just received a letter
from T.Downs, in Dunedin, in which he states
that he had seen my brother Edward, who had
left Havelock (the place where we last heard from
him) as usual he was hardup. T.D. had lent
him £2.0.0 to enable him to go up the country
I dont know what to make of him always
unsettled & roaming in his habits. I am sadly
afraid that he will come to no good, he has
got into such loose & irregular habits -
October 2 1864 Weather tolerably fair but far from being settled I have been a good boy this week - only out one night, when I accompanied F Rooke home to his house, when I was introduced to his mother (a widow lady) & also to his brothers. They appear to be a very united happy & respectable family They were exceedingly kind & hospsitable & made me very welcome We spent the evening in singing, & playing Cards, being very sociable, I staid all night with them, enjoyed my walk
4/125 |
934
from St Yarra through the Observatory Reserve
next morning. Friday night my sisters went
to a party at Mr. Gotchs. I went for them
about 11 Pm. & was induced to remain until
1 Oclock spending the time very pleasently -
Saturday afternoon remained at home reading
I went for a strool into town in the evening
came on to rain about 9 & was not long
after in reaching home - This morning
Friday called for Fred & I & he went together
to the Catholic Chapel. Julia Mathews was
singing again there - In the afternoon
Miss McLauran called, did not stay long, I
walked to Nt Melbourne with her, to Mr Gel
the Solicitor where she is living as Governess -
I went to St Peters in the evening, on arriving
home I found several visitors at our house
as usual -
Oct 9th.1864 Wet miserable weather, the River Yarra is flooded higher than I ever saw it before, the road to Emerald Hill being unpassable. Busy at the Railway several large ships discharging. Time spent more at home than usually, reading & writing Etc Monday night I went to see H Dight he is very ill laid up in bed, the Doctors think it doubtful whether he will recover
4/126 |
935
poor fellow I am sorry for him, he looked
horribly bad. I have heard since that he is likely
to recover Yesterday afternoon Finley & Stewart
called spent about three hours or so singing &
playing In the evening I went to town for
my usual strool met several I knew
among the number John King, his father
having sent him from Bendigo to Melbourne
to try & get a situation, he is a wild beggar
& I am afraid unless he changes for the better
he will come to no good. This morning Fred
& Ambler & I went to the Catholic Chapel as
soon as Mass was over we walked away
feeling doubtful whether we should be profited
by remaining for the sermon Spent the afternoon
reading, went to St Peters church in the evening
took a long walk afterwards. I wrote a long
letter to Hamilton on Friday -
- - - - - - Oct 23 1864 A fortnight since I wrote up this wretched apology for a journal, being far from a pleasure to continue, many times Im tempted to discontinue it being aimless & objectless, it may serve to serve who may read it as a warning to endeavour to avoid leading such a useless life as I have done. I am still at the Rly. hoping
4/127 |
936
to get on better than I have hitherto done - I find
it very hard work, uneducated, & inexperienced in
the line I am in, to keep pace with others –
who do not suffer from my disadvantages. I
would not remain a day in Melb. if it was not for
the sake of my family - We have heard nothing from
Edward since I last wrote. The English Mail arrived
on the 13th inst. bringing us a long letter
from my father, containing very sad news, the death
of my fathers eldest brother Henry & my dear Uncle
who from his kind & benevolent disposition was endeared
by all who knew him, he had been preaching the day
before & afterwards, was taken ill with violent pains in
the stomach & died amongst strangers, his wife being at
home in Brighton, where they resided, at the time, immediately
on hearing of the death my father proceeded at once to preside at the
funeral ceremony. On referring to his papers it was
found that 22 years before his death, he had executed
a will leaving £400 to an Asylumn for aged people –
& the residue of his property at his wifes disposal
but some 3 years ago, he drew out another will (which
unfortunately for us, was never signed by him),
in which he left myself, brothers & Sisters a handsome
legacy & the remainder to my father. However it was
not to be, so we are not benefitted by his death in a
pecuniary sense. His wife of course knew what his
latest wishes were in the disposal of his property
& if she acts conscientiously, she must
4/128 |
937
carry out his wishes, but from all accounts that I hear
of her, I believe her to be a very selfish woman, tho’ she
has property of her own. I would not be surprised that
she leaves my Uncles with it [wealth] to strangers, for she
never had much love for his relatives, so its entirely
a matter of whim or caprice, if we ever get a penny
of what my Uncle left, Tho to judge by the tone
of my fathers remarks on the subject he is sanguine
that she will dispose of the property to our advantage
I trust she may, but I should be disappointed should
it turn out otherwise. She is very old upwards of 80 years
& is I am informed very much influenced by some very
distant relatives of her own - My poor Uncle. I am
sadly grieved at his death, for if ever there was a good
kind Christian man in existence I am sure he was one
he was the only relation of my fathers that I remember in
England. I shall never forget his kindness to me
when a boy in London, he used to take my me by
the hand & lead me through Londons labyrinth of streets, pointing
out to me all the remarkable spots that that great
city abounds in, relating stories & anecdotes of great &
good men, who had lived in time gone bye, he took me
to the Tower of London, British Museum, Westminster Abbey
National Gallery, in fact every where & to every place worth
seeing & visiting & always with a view to my amusement
& instruction I remember how earnest he used to be
in impressing upon me the importance of application
4/129 |
938
in whatever I wished to know & learn & in the strict
observance of the Sabbath & the cultivation of Christian
principles Alas! what barren ground the seeds of his
goodness fell in -
- - - - - I purpose writing to my father by next mail I went to a party at Gotchs on Wednesday week enjoyed myself very much. I called on H.Dight several times & I am happy to know that he is recovering rapidly. Last night I took [a strool] into town, met J King he has found employment at last, in a Carriage Factory
Oct 30th.1864 Weather has been very changeable but pretty fine on the whole. We are rather slack at the Railway this being the Wool season, most of the ships go to the Victorian Rly Pier where they get their home loading quicker than at our pier - & more convenient for the Shipping. Spent every evening at home with the exception of last night when I went to the Hay Market Theatre to hear the Opera of Maritana, performed in rather an unusual manner, Lady Don taking the part of Don Ceaser & Emma Howson as the Gypsy, they sang the music tolerably well, but I have seen them both in characters I liked much better, as a rule I dont care for women playing mens parts. Fred Rooke called for me this morning, & we went to St Peters Church together, on leaving there we came home
4/130 |
939
& he staid dinner & tea at our house, we took a walk
in the Gardens during the afternoon & in the evening
we went to the Wesleyan Church, Lonsdale St, heard the
Revd. Joseph Dare preach a splendid sermon, at its
conclusion we met the three Miss Finnegans &
accompanied them home. I had not seen them for
a couple of months & they were under the impression
I had left Melbourne, one of them Bessie is very
pretty nice mannered ladylike girl. A Mr. Chiek
joined our party so we were equally paired 10 Pm when
we parted having taken a long walk together - on
leaving them I accompanied Fred a part of his way home
- - - - - - - - Novr.6th.1864 The weather is still unsettled, one day very hot & the next cold & showery. Still dull at the Rly, I am at present doing the duty of a clerk who receives twice my salary he having broken his arm, of course seeing me able to do his work, my employers will perhaps view an application for an increase of salary more favourably than before - & so I live & linger on in hope, its very hard spending ones best years working for nothing, its not like a gold digging when one never knows the day a fortune might be dropt upon. Town has been very busy during the week in consequence of the Elections, the members returned appear to be popular, how long they will remain so rests with time to show. I went to the Theatre Royal
4/131 |
940
Royal with Fred one night to see “Jefferson” the
great American actor in the play “American Cousin”
he is without exception the best actor in his line that
ever appeared in this country so quiet so dignified
so unaffected, so free from rant, & cant, & with all
so very natural, that one cannot help feeling that
he is the greatest natural actor of the day. I spent a
very pleasent evening at a Mrs. McDonalls, friends of my
sisters, playing cards, singing Etc winding up with an
excellent supper. We have had a great many visitors
during the week - I took a strool yesterday afternoon
in company with Richard Ryland (a lad about 17 who
is living with us, he is learning the wholesale drapery business
at Paterson Ray & Palmers, his father has a large Drapery
establishment at Castlemaine,) we visited the City Buffet
Menagerie which contains a Lion & lioness, a Panther
& several Monkeys - In the evening I took a walk
about town in company with Harry Clark met
some young lady friends & walked home with them
Wednesday being a holiday, Ryland & I went to see
a Regatta on the Saltwater River at Footscray. The
sports I thought were very poor. I got more amusement
in watching the people, & enjoying the chagrin &
disappointment of those visitors to "Aunt Sallys"
Thimble Rigging & Card Sharping Etc & such like. I went
to St Peters this morning, & in the evening to the Wesley
Church Lonsdale St where I met F.Rookes & the Miss
Finnegans whom I went home with -
4/132 |
941
20 Novr. 1864 Melbourne
A fortnight, since I continued my journal, now that
I have resumed it I have nothing very interesting
to note. The weather has been very hot. The Mail came
in on the 12th bringing us a letter from my father
he is pretty well in health, he informs me that he
is going to send me £50 by the next Mail, it isnt
much but I shall be very thankful for it, & I will
make the best use possible of it. He has been to Leceister
to see my Uncle Joseph, & father thinks they will be
able to hit it better together for the future than they
formerly, (the fact is I believe my Uncle Joe is disgusted
with the manner my father has acted in leaving
his family & that sort of thing) my father thinks it
very unfortunate Uncle Joe getting married, that it
will affect our prospects I feel, myself, sure. My
Sundays spent as usual, between St Peters & the Wesley Church
I spent two evenings at the Choir of Brunswick St Chapel
have also visited the Dights several times. Fred & I
went to hear Mr. & Mrs G.Case, in one of their
pleasing protean entertainments. Very slack still
at the office, tho we have some prospect of being busy
next week, several large ships having arrived the past
few days There is disgraceful Divorce Case at present
going on in the Supreme Court, which is the town talk
Judge Molesworth versus his wife, he charges
her with adultery, the corespondent being no less a person
than Ireland the Ex Solicitor General. The revelations
4/133 |
942
being made reflect very little credit on all concerned
I never heard such a disgraceful case in my life
such thorough badness & immorality, between people
holding such high positions in society -
[Sunday, 11 December 1864 ?] - - - - - - - Decr.10th 1864 Three weeks since I continued my journal, not having anything of interest to note I suppose must be excuse. We have been very busy at the Railway I met an old friend last week Christian Foyne he had just returned from Europe having been absent Ten months during which time he has visited different parts of the Continent enjoying himself very much, he has spent one or two evenings at our house he brought me out a fine Book “Many thoughts of Many Minds” a useful *work of reference & full of beautiful extracts from the best Authors. I have knocked & visited about a great deal since I last wrote, spent three evenings at Finleys, & many nights at Clarks “Fortune of War” Hotel. Went once more to hear the "Cases" & last night Fred & I went to see the Lentons Acrobatic Troupe perform at the HayMarket Theatre they surpass everything of the sort that has been in Victoria They do some extraordinary Gymnastic Feats. Last Tuesday night I went home to dinner with F.Rooke, (the family is living on Emerald Hill) after which he took me to see some friends of his named "Tranworths" with whom
4/134 |
943
we spent a delightful evening with. Wednesday evening
I went to a Meeting at St Georges Hall to hear some
Moravian Missionaries who have arrived lately in
the Colony with a view to visit the interior of Australia
& establish a Mission Station at Coopers Creek - The place
was well filled, the Bretheren stated their views on
the subject, their object being to Christianise the Aborigines
I wish them every success - but I expect little except
the[y] go well provided with plenty of Tobacco, Blankets
Trinkets Etc as an inducement - however there is a
fine field for their labour, & I have no doubt it will
prove a good thing for the advanced settlers -
I have read a great deal lately one work especially that calls for some notice, creating as it has some sensation among the reading community Rehnans "Life of Jesus", rather a well written work decidedly Unitarian in its principles, tho’ I hear the Author is a Jew. He believes that such a man as Jesus existed & proves him to be the best man that ever lived & one that endeavoured, & succeeded, in propogating the present & most sublime doctrines, (but will not admit of his divinity). In alluding to John the Baptist he endeavours to trace an analogy between his doctrine & that of the Buddists who are also Baptists. Rehan, also alludes to collusion on Johns part with Jesus, his arguments for the case being in my opinion very weak, he alludes to Jesus being very extravagant in his language & ideas & his continual denouncement against the exalted in life & station, a Rich man cannot enter
4/135 |
944
the Kingdom of Heaven, being one of his illustrations
& that the bitterness of his life was only rendered tolerable
by the idealities of his teachings - & also, That Jesus never
dreamt of making himself pass for an incarnation
of Gods is a matter there can be no doubt (as per Rehnan.)
for there is no trace of it in the synoptical gospels
of Matthew & Mark, such an idea can only
be found in John which cannot be expected as
presenting the thoughts of Jesus. Rehnan states
for three centuries considerable of the most enlightened
Christians did not believe in Jesuss' royal descent –
& doubted the authenticity of the genealogies. Rehan
calls Jesus a Demigod & not altogether sinless he
thinks that many of his qualities are lost to us
through the fault of his disciples & that it is very
probable many of his faults & failings have been
concealed, he alludes to the exaggeration of our
ideas in not looking upon Jesus as a man, but a
better one than ourselves. He says "Mankind
shows an assemblage of low selfish beings &
superior to the animal only in that its selfishness
is more reflective From the midst
of this uniform mediocrity there are pillars
that rise towards the skies & bear witness to
a nobler destiny. Jesus is the highest of
these pillars, which show to man whence he
comes & whither he ought to tend. In him
4/136 |
945
was condensed all that is good & elevated in our
nature, he was not sinless but simply conquered
the same passions we combat - by doing this he
became the author of these extraordinary monuments
which have decided the fate of humanity. The Angel
that comforted him was his own good conscience, no
Satan tempted him but that which every man carries
with him - He says that Christs sermon on the
mount can never be surpassed, & that the he founded
the present worship of all ages & of all lands, that
which all elevated souls will practise until the
end of time, the Religion of Humanity. Jesus
gave Religion to Humanity as Socrates gave it
Philosophy & Aristotle Science - Rehran looks upon
upon the Gospel of St John as very egotistical, bringing
himself forward whenever occasion offers, making
himself the beloved of Christ. He thinks Mathew & Mark
the best gospels to arrive at a correct estimate of Jesus life
that of St Luke having been written from the dictation
of St Peter - Rehran in alluding to the miracles
treats them as absurdities, & is very weak & lame in his
arguments against them - I have been informed
that he is one of the clerical scholars of the day, his reading
must have been extensive, for he quotes about 40
Authors contemporaries with Jesus. In conclusion
it is a work that may affect some minds, but by
others it will be treated with contempt, especially
such ideas as to Jesus death & resurrection being nothing but a *tradition
4/137 |
946
& that of the raising of Lazarus to the same cause
& on the whole it is a very unsatisfactory
work to an enquirer after truth -
18th Decr 1864
Lovely weather during the past few days but rather
warm, Spent my leisure on the whole very
pleasently, been out somewhere every evening. The
English Mail arrived last Monday, it brought
a letter from my father enclosed in it was a
Draft for £50.0.0 payable to myself, with a hope
that I would make good use of it. I drew £10
of it a part of which I gave to mother. The remainder
I spent on necessaries I was greatly in need of -
The balance I intend leaving in the Bank - my
Father was very well in health when he wrote, his
letter was a long [one] & contained plenty of news about
relations, but nothing of any consequence. Tuesday
evening having had tickets sent us, Bessie & I
went to hear Mr & Mrs G.Case in their pleasing
entertainment. Yesterday afternoon there was a
Grand Open Air Promenade Concert held in the
Botanical Gardens, to which in company with
my sisters Mr. J.J.Clark & F.Rooke, I went to
hear the day was fearfully hot, & the distance long
which somewhat marred our enjoyment. Some
of the best vocalists in the Colony were singing,
4/138 |
947
Farquharson, the two Howsons Lady Don, Mdm Stutterford
O.Hamilton, Sara Mortley & several others who acquitted
themselves very creditably. I met a great many people
I knew, among the number the Rekowskis, Agnes
whom I had not seen for 3 years is married to a
Mr. W.Dalrymple, she is very much altered, she took
me for Fred. On arriving home & after tea, I & F
Rooke took a strool choosing for our promenade the
usual Saturday evening one with Melb’ loungers –
, Bourke St, where I fell in with my friend Harry
Clarke, & accompanied him into the Temple of
Pomona "Restaurant" where we indulged in apple puff
& Coffee which upon discussing with other light subjects
we adjourned to our respective homes. I went to
St Peters this morning, in the afternoon I went
out for [a] walk & got caught in a smart
shower getting nearly wet through before reaching
shelter. I went to the Brunswick St Wesley Chapel
in the evening
Sunday Decr.25th.1864 (X Day) Lovely weather during the week. I trust it will continue so for a few days longer, until the holidays are over so as to allow the pleasure seeking a chance of enjoying themselves. Nothing but Picnics, Balls, Parties, & Pleasure are talked about – for my own part, I have not bothered myself much about what I intend doing, my sisters & self received an invitation from Ramsden
4/139 |
948
to join the picnic he is getting up for to-
-morrow, which I believe, by all accounts, is to
be a grand affair We ought to consider ourselves
fortunate, in being invited, having no bother
& no expense, & conveyance provided Etc -
We have been very busy at the Railway. I am happy to state I have, at last, got a recognised billet, having so far only been in a probationary state, my office now is that of measuring Clerk, in the Goods Dept. a poor billet, but I must keep it till something better turns up -
Monday evening last, I went to a very Jolly Tea-Meeting at the Wesley School Room B.St. got introduced to a lot of nice people, heard some tolerably good singing, among the performers I noticed one fine voice of Fanny Reeves an acquaintance of mine, who has one of the best Contralto voices I have heard. I heard her again at the Exhibition Building, William St when the Messiah was being performed a Mrs. Tester (sang the principal Sophano Solos), a lady that has had a magnificent voice by all accounts, but its lost its freshness & is now rather wiry & old - at least I thought so) F.Reeves sang the Alto Solos very well, considering her youth & first appearance, especially "Oh thou that tellest" which brought down the house. I did not stay the latter part, for meeting F.Rooke & his friend
4/140 |
949
Mr. Chancellor I accompanied them to see a fire
in Et Melb’ where I lost them in the crowd -
Thursday evening in company with Sarah Clarke
I spent at Roberts, a family I am slightly acquainted
with, who live in Napier St Fitzroy. Saturday morning
on leaving the office at 12 I met Mrs. Dalrymple
while chatting with her, F.Rooke came by when
I left her & accompanied him to see the new
warehouse of L.Stevensons & Sons that is now just
finished in Flinders Lane. It is the largest &
best finished & fitted up place of business in Australia
after an hours inspection, we left & then went to the
Public Library in Swanston St to see the new
Picture Gallery that had just been opened to the public
for the first time, I noticed some fine pictures
that have just arrived from England where they had
been purchased by a committee appointed for the
purpose. The pictures I thought most worthy of note
were "The Departure of the Pilgrim Fathers" & "J.Bunyon
reading the Bible (or else his Pilgrims Progress) to the prisoners
in Bedford Jail" There were several colonial productions
which suffered considerably, by being placed side by side
with some of the works of good masters. I think a
Gallery of this description is a step in the right
direction & will tend to do much in improving
as well as refining the morals & tastes of the people
of Melbourne - This morning in company
4/141 |
950
with my brother Fred, I went to the Roman
Catholic Chapel, heard the choir sing
Mozarts Twelfth Mass, the Adestes Fideles
also the Hallelujah Chorus, very effectively. My
sister Bessie & I took a walk in the afternoon
& in the evening I went to Brunswick St. Chapel
- - - - - - Jany 1st.1865 (News Years Day) The weather has been very hot during the past few days, very fortunately so for the pleasure seekers, who form a *numerous body this time of the year. Monday morning (8 am. in company with my two sisters, I went to S.Ramsdens house on the Heidelberg road where we met a number of people who had been invited, like ourselves, to join Mr. Rs Pic Nic,. about 50 people in all started, some in vehicles of their own & others in ones provided by the worthy Host, among the latter I numbered after a pleasent drive of an hour or so, we arrived at the place appointed near the village of Heidelberg in a lovely spot commanding an extensive view of the surrounding neighbourhood, where we spent a most delightful day a large Marquee had been erected, a Band of Musicians provided, along with every luxury of
4/142 |
951
of the season in the way of eatibles &
drinkables, every thing in profusion, such as
only wealth could supply. The day was passed
as usual on such occasions, Dancing, Singing
Romping, Racing, Swinging, Flirting Etc Etc Etc
which we kept up until 7 Pm, when tired
fatigued, but on the whole very jolly, we
all started for home, reached Ramsdens
house about 8.30. where *our tea had been provided
which after its discussion, & feeling somewhat
refreshed, we got up a dance afterwards & kept
it up till 12 Pm, when regularly worn out
we made for home, next day I felt fearfully
reluctant to have to go to business, but there was
no help for it, Stiff & tired, the day seemed terribly
long & I thought 5 pm would never come
Thursday night I went to the Pantomine at the HayMarket Theatre, Lady Don, Emma Howson & the Lenton Troupe Acrobats, all taking part in it such a collection of artistes, making it one if not the best performances of the kind ever given in Victoria
Last evening I went down the town, met a lot of young fellows, with whom I knocked about for some two hours, finding they were getting rowdy, T.Trotter & I left them & falling in with a couple of girls we knew
4/143 |
952
we saw them home - staid a couple of hours
with them, after having a great lark
found ourselves on leaving the house about 2 am
this morning in deserted streets we bade each
other adieu & soon reached my home -
I went to St Peters this morning. In the afternoon I went to the Fitzroy Gardens (the usual Sunday lounge & rendezvous) met a number I knew. Harry Clark came home to tea with me after which we went to the Brunswick St Chapel, at the conclusion of the service we walked home with Fanny Reeves & her sister they are very plain looking girls, but very pleasent we promised to meet them to morrow at the Sunday School picnic, at Studley Park.
I have met a number of old Bendigo acquaintances, this week, who take advantage of the cheap fares, this time of the year, to visit Melb, among the number, Lockey Frazer, who is not altered in the slightest. Bob Hooper has grown quite a man, John Drysdale I met, he has made his fortune on Bendigo & many others I met who have done well since I left there, most of whom regret that I ever left the dirty old place for had I staid they believe I would have got on however I left it for the best, as I thought at
4/144 |
953
the time God only knows whether it will
prove so in the end. I received a long letter
on Friday from my old friend J.Hamilton
informing me that his wife has presented him
with another youngster - he still writes in the
same old merry jolly never say die sort of strain
but towards the end (the last three years at all
events) he gets serious & winds up with a sermon
& by entreating me to accept Christ as my Saviour
this is the only subject that I think Jim is not
sincere upon, I hope I am wrong, but I really
cannot fancy he is so Christian like in the true
spirit as he makes himself out to be. I dont
like doubting his profession, & if I was asked why I
did so, I could not give a reason for my opinion
Jany 8th.1865 Beautiful weather. spent my time pretty Jollily Monday last, being a holiday, I went in company with Harry Clark & his sister Sarah to Studley Pk where we fell in with the Miss Reeves & several other acquaintances, forming a little party to ourselves, we separated ourselves from the noise & bustle around & finding a quiet spot we settled down & enjoyed ourselves, Singing Etc, the Reeves sing well especially Fanny who has one of the finest Alto voices I have heard. I got home very fatigued about 8 Pm after a good tea &
4/145 |
954
a Bath, I went out alone & took a quiet
strool about the neighbourhood. We have had a deal
of company at our house lately. My sisters
having such a large circle of friends, they have
been out to picnics & party’s nearly every day the
past week. I have had to stick with business
very closely, being very busy at the office, several
large vessels discharging at our pier, among
the number a new steamer called the “London”
Tuesday evening I met Rt Hooper, we took a long walk together, talking over by gone days & life on the “diggins” enquiring after old friends, it is a melancholy pleasure I think Bob & Lockey left Melb for Sandhurst the following morning, on arriving home I found Mr. & Mrs. Petherbridge here. Mrs P is looking very pale & & thin & looks 5 years older than when she was married - Thursday evening I went to the Theatre Royal to see the pantomine. I liked it pretty well, but its nothing compared to the one at the other Theatre I enjoyed the singing of Harriet Gordon, she is also a nice actress - I met her in NZ where I sang with her –
Friday night - Fred and I took a ramble into town, met two girls we knew, took a walk with them about Fitzroy Gardens
4/146 |
955
walked with them home to Richmond, late when
we got back to Fitzroy. Saturday afternoon I took
a walk with Bessie & a Mrs. Lane, an American
lady that G Kelly introduced to our house, she
accompanied her husband Capt Lane, who has a
fine ship called the "Levanter" now lying in the Bay
She (Mrs L) spends most of her time on shore at
our house, she is an exceedingly nice lady, very
pretty & accomplished, she seems to have taken a
strange fancy to our family & considering our short
acquaintance we are all very fond of her, & shall
regret her departure very much. In the evening
I met F Rooke in town, we went to the
Haymarket Theatre together on leaving which we
adjourned to Hosies where we had supper, 12 p.m.
when I arrived home - I went to St Peters this
morning. In the afternoon I found myself
as usual in the F Gardens, met the Miss F.
& accompanied them home. In the evening
I went to the Brunswick St Chapel heard
what some people called a good sermon, but
what I thought was a lot of rant, met
T.Sellman & we walked home with the Miss Reeves
[Sunday, 15 January 1865] - - - - - - - - - - Jany 16 [15] 1865 Lovely weather during the week, rather chilly in the mornings, a most extraordinary thing for this time of the year I have nothing of interest to note out of the usual
4/147 |
956
routine of things. My time at the Rly being spent
day after day in the same manner, measuring goods
for freight & Copying Ships Manifests. I spent two days
this week at Dalgety & Co. Shipping Office copying the Mfts
of two of their ships we have at our Pier, rather a singular
circumstance occurred in connection with one of the ships
the "John Bunyan". A S.S. called the London arived here
a few days ago after a tempestuous passage, during a gale
a man was washed overboard, a Boat was instantly lowered
& the Sailing Master with four men got into it for the purpose of
trying to save the man. The sea was very rough at the time &
the boat was seen to drift away from the ship at a fearful rate
at last some on board were positive they saw the boat swamped
the ship was hove to & at length when all seemed lost, the yards
were squared & the London S.S. proceeded on her voyage &
arrived in Melb in due time & the news of
of the disaster published, causing quite a gloom at the fate of
the unfortunates who were supposed to be lost in nobly endvg
to save the life of a fellow creature. A few days afterwards, the
Ship "Jno Bunyan" arrived & bringing with them the Boat & Crew
that were lost belonging to the London S.S. it seems the Boat
was swamped but being buoyant she floated & the men stuck to
her & righted her. They were tossed about for 36 hours when
they were picked up by a Whaler & when off Trinidad
they fell in with the "Jno Bunyan" & were transferred
to her, & thus came on to Melb’ The story seems
romantic but nevertheless its true. Very many are of
opinion that Capt Martin of the London was very much
4/148 |
957
to blame in not hovering around the spot when the
Boat was seen to fill for he must have known it would
not sink being a Life Boat, however it is very hard to judge
a man without knowing all the attendant circumstances
On Monday night my sisters visited the Allens in Collins St. I called for them about 9 but was induced to remain, had some supper & some music left about eleven Miss Allen possesses a Bible, which she showed me, with an autograph of Robt. Burns in it. The Bible was given to Miss A. by a son of the poet Tuesday evening, we had several visitors Capt & Mrs. Lane & Geo. & Tom Kelly, spent it very agreeably -
Wednesday my mother went on Board the "Levanter" Sandridge to spend the day with Mrs. Lane, on leaving the office at 5 Pm I went to the ship & dined with them it was blowing very fresh and the ship rolled considerably causing anything but a delightful sensation in my interior several times I thought my dinner (which was an excellent one & I were going to part company with all due regard to Mr & Mrs L. whom I feel to have the greatest respect for, I was not sorry on leaving them & getting once more on “terrafirma”. We came to town by train, when I put Mother in a cab & sent her home, I called at the Finnegans & staid about two hours with them - Thursday night I spent at Mrs Smarts (Johnston St) she is a sister of Mr. Pickett my old Bendigo & New Zealand friend. Pickett has taken a Hotel some 20 miles from town near the Kangaroo grounds - so Mrs. S informed me. Saturday afternoon
4/149 |
958
I spent at home, Fred Rooke being at our house
several friends called in the evening & we spent the
time very pleasently - I walked into town with with
Fred Rooke & we had supper at some place after
which we parted. Sunday morning when I arrived
home – To day I spent reading Levers "Martins of
Cro Martin" in my opinion the best of his works
it gives one a good idea of the cause of much of the
shabby genteel poverty of the respectable classes in Ireland.
I went out for a short strool about 4 Pm., after tea
I visited the Brunswick St Wesley Church & heard a colonial
bred preacher (a Sydney native whose name I have forgotten)
if he is a specimen of what the colony is to produce, spare
me from them, he appears to be well educated & all that sort of
thing, but he lacks the first qualification, a fluent delivery, his
ideas appear to be good, but he had such a difficulty in reading
them intelligibly, that listening to him was like working
out a problem - After the service was over I met Harry
Clark & we took a strool together down Simpsons Road
to see some friends of his but they were out, so we returned
to his mothers where I remained for an hour or so
chatting to his sister Sarah & his mother -
- - - - - - - Jany 22 1865 Weather very hot but pleasent on the whole - Received 5/. aweek advance to my salary this week, much to my disgust, for I had expected 4 times as much & even that would not be as
4/150 |
959
much as the mans salary was, whose duties I have
to perform. I feel so mortified that I shall do my
best to get out of the Compy & into something else -
Monday evening I spent at Harry Clarks house singing & flirting with his sister Sarah, who is such a warm hearted loving impulsive creature. Tuesday evening Tom Grimwood called; he was going to the Annual Ball given by the or to the employees (I know not which ) of the Lunatic Asylum, Yarra Bend he had a ticket to spare which he offered me, & I accepting it we both started for the place, found the Hall nicely got up & the floor beautifully chalked, all done & arranged by some of the more sensible lunatics, many of whom joined in the Dancing it was a very pleasent affair & I really enjoyed myself very much. I went in a perfect stranger but before I left I had made several pleasent acquaintances. My pleasure was somewhat damped in having to walk home. I was very tired next day. Friday night I went to the B.S.W. C. Choir heard them sing some nice Anthems. Saturday night I met F.Rooke in Bourke St by appointment & we went to the “Royal” & witnessed an excellent Burlesque or Extravaganza”. Harriet Gordon, (Mrs Hides) took the principal character, the only thing which pleased me, was her singing, she has a nice voice, & sings with good taste & expression I met, in the theatre, Mr. English, an old
4/151 |
960
friend of mine from N.Z. he belonged to the Debating Sty
I was a member of on "Wetherstons" & he lived next tent
to me there We were very glad to see each other –
he is a man I always liked well informed & intelligent
he is residing in “Melb” - This morning I went to
St Peters Church - In the afternoon I met H.Clark
& we took a long strool together, he is going to
Woods Point Diggings tomorrow We went this evening
to the W.C. Bk St & walked home with the Miss Reeves
after the service -
- - - - - - Feby 5th.1865 A fortnight since I continued my journal no great loss were I to discontinue it for the future altogether. Spent my time much as usual, at least during the daytime, & the evening I may state with very little variety. I have spent *several evenings at H.Clarks mothers, F of War, Sarah I suppose, being the attraction, the girl is getting exceedingly loving towards me she is a very nice girl pleasent & amiable, plays & sings & does all in her power to make the time pass pleasently I met a great number of young fellows there I have been twice to the Theatre since I last wrote, Last night I saw Barry Sullivan in "Loves Sacrifice" & the other time I saw [him] in The Serf, he is a fine actor. I like him much better in high Comedy than I do in Tragedy - I have read a
4/152 |
961
little lately. Goethe's “Faust”. "The Life and Correspondence of
Chas J.Fox" by Lord John Russell.
Thursday evening I went to the Polytechnic Hall to a concert given by Signor Castells & several of his pupils among the number Miss F Reeves. Signor C is the most accomplished musician & the best vocal instructor we have had in Melbourne, he came from the conservatoir of Paris, his voice is not much account but for style & finish he has not had his equal here, he sang a piece called "Far Away where Angels Dwell" deler- -iously. F Reeves made her debut on the occasion & gave general satisfaction, her voice is of a rich contralto good quality but I fear its rather too limited in range for her ever to become A1. Great excitement in the Political world here at present, on old bone of contention that has been picked pretty clean, not only in England but in America namely, Protection versus Free Trade. The mob which means the Majority are for Protection to their narrow minds plenty of work in the shape of new industries & manufactures are opened up, if the country is not to prosper with protection thus favourable to it, when, the freight, duty & the numerous other charges upon goods cominq from England & foreign markets is taken into consideration. I think they ought to make up the difference in the price of labour which is the great, drawback to our local industry
4/153 |
962
Meetings have been held every evening in Melb & suburbs
with the idea of getting both ends of the question
ventilated, but instead of good coming from them nothing
but the reverse has been the result, for one or two that
I have attended have been nothing but rowdy stormy
gatherings. Yesterday afternoon I spent in practising
Scales & Exercises on the Piano. Mary, very kindly
is giving me instruction. I am afraid that I shall
have to discontinue it, for night time is the only
time I have for practice, & my eyes after writing
all day at the office are not strong enough to keep
long at it This morning I went to St Peters. In the
afternoon I took a long walk, & in the evening I
went to the B.S. Wesley Chapel, met Miss Clark &
saw her home from there
- - - - - - - Feby 12th.1865 Weather very warm, some would vote it intolerably so Still continue very busy at the office. I have been about pretty considerably this week to one place or another - Monday evening I spent at Mrs. Smarts, Johnston St she persuaded me to go to a Tea Meeting at Abbotsford which took place on Friday night, after discussing theatre & meeting several I knew the Browns & Ramsdens & Miss Marshall, forming quite a little party, we all adjourned outside & had a pleasent strool along the Yarra Banks, being a nice moon light night we enjoyed ourselves very much, at least I did. We called at Mrs James for
4/154 |
963
& staid a short time - I have spent two evenings
at Clarks F of War. Saturday night I went to see the
Lenton Troupe - a Mr & Mrs. Heine were performing with
them. Mrs H is considered the finest lady Pianiste that has
visited Australia - & her husband Mr. H who is blind is
equally clever as a violinist - I went, as usual, this
morning to St Peters Church In the afternoon I took a
ramble about Fitzroy Gardens, met several acquaintances In
the evening I went to the Wesley Chapel, B St. heard Mr *Finlay preach
an excellent sermon on the justness of God, his sermon was rather
a severe one, especially as he appeared to me to impress
upon his hearers that a God who is both just & jealous cannot
be expected to have any mercy - rather different character of
the Almighty than what I have been taught to believe him to be –
strange! Mr. Handfield in the morning was preaching upon
Gods mercy & goodness to man in spite of his wickedness
I met Miss Clark after the service, I have placed myself
in rather uncomfortable position, with respect to her & another
friend of mine Thos.Sellman - some weeks back they were
supposed to be engaged, they were a good deal together
since then she has got very cool toward him. I am in the
confidence of both, & I have been trying to make it up
between but I have been unsuccessful. Miss C. loves some
body else. I have a shrewd guess who that somebody else is, but
that somebody else cares nothing more for her than he does for
any other girl, her excuse for breaking off with Tom is that
he is too fond of drink & is very fast, so he is mainly
4/155 |
964
to be blamed. I told Tom this evening how matters
stood & he got into a passion with me, accused me of
worming myself in her favour & supplanting him in her
affection - it was no use expostulating with him in his
state of mind so I left him in his unamiable mood
I dont think that I will go to Clarks for some time
yet
[Saturday,] 18th.Feby 1865 Weather still hot, a pleasent change took place yesterday in the shape of a downfall of rain, a blessing we have not enjoyed since X mas time I have been very unwell during the week. Tuesday afternoon on leaving the office I went in company with some fellow clerks to Sandridge for a Sea Bathe. I was very hot when I jumped into the water & the shock or transition from heat to cold must have affected me for I have had a severe cold ever since & pains all over my body. I spent my evenings mostly at home reading - I received a letter from my cousin Harry informing me Lizzie has been confined, she has lost no time since being married. The English Mail, no letter from Father but a number of Papers. Saturday afternoon I read until 4 pm when I went to Carlton Gardens to hear the HeadQuarters Band play. In the evening I went into town & rambled about, until 9.30, when I came home
4/156 |
965
- - - - - - - - - - Monday Feby 20th.1865
Yesterday morning Sunday, I went to St Peters, remained at home
until evening not feeling well, after tea I went to Chapel, but
had to come out early feeling very ill, I vomited frightfully
managed to get home with an effort, took some Brandy which
did me good & went to bed. This morning I went to the office
but did very little work. I shall remain at home tomorrow
if I am not better, on my way home this evening I met
my old mate Bill Hobson, he is living in Bendigo, having
got a share in a rich quartz claim there & is doing well, he
is friends with his father to whom he was estranged for a long
time. Will was well dressed & looking very different than when
I last met him in Dunedin, dirty & ragged & hard up -
[Sunday, 26 February 1865] - - - - - - - - - Feby 25th.1865 Weather very hot since I last wrote. Very ill last Tuesday so I staid at home in bed till 3 pm when I got up & took a walk as far as Richmond. Went to business the following morning all right! I spent Thursday evening at Clarks. Sarah very fond & loving Bah! Im not on. One woman is the same to me as another all the romance of love far vanished when Isa King married I have met many girls but they are all alike to me, if I do feel interested in any for a short time, it causes me no regret whether they are fickle or inconstant. The fact is I am very susceptible to female charms & yet at the same time careless whether they care for me or not - no! I feel I can never love [a] woman again as I did Isa. With such a holy pure passion I flee from
4/157 |
966
sensuality. Saturday afternoon I went to hear the Head Quarters
Band play in Fitzroy Gardens, where I met an old acquaintance
R.Williamson, tis five years since I last met him, he is very
much altered for the better. In the evening I met F.Rooke
& we went to a Bazaar in St Georges Hall. We were nearly
smothered what with the heat & the crowding & then being pestered
by a lot of impudent girls who persist in worrying one into
buying some stupid article or another & victimise one in
a swindle of some kind. There was a deal of singing
quantity, at least but as for quality, ugh! This
morning I went to the Roman Catholic Chapel & heard
Chas. Stuart (of the Christy Minstrels) sing the "Cujus Animam"
from the “Stabat Mater” which he sang magnificently, his
voice is light in tone but very sweet. I dont think he has a
high natural range, but he manages to get up, & sings with
with taste & judgement - he left the Minstrels 12 months
ago in Sydney. My friend Stewart lost his place in the
Band. Jim has a finer natural voice than his namesake
but he is not so finished or artistic in his style of production
F.Rooke was at the place, he came home to dinner with us
we went out in the afternoon for a strool a heavy shower of
rain sent us home pretty quickly. In the evening I went to
the BSW Chapel, met a young fellow named Marsden, an
acquaintance of mine, after the service in company
with Sarah Clark & Jenny Kerr, I joined them making the
party complete. We took a walk & saw the ladies home
4/158 |
967
- - - - - - - March 12th.1865
A fortnight since I continued the recital of my ill doings, if
I may so call them, good they certainly are not nor are
my actions, I am sorry to state, likely to be productive of good either
to myself or others - I have spent several evenings lately at
the Fortune of War in company with others, very jollily. I went
to a Meeting in the Exhibition Building, an awfully
wild & rowdy affair, got up by the "protectionists". The place was
filled by Freetraders & I must say I never heard such a row
in my life it was impossible to get a hearing for any of the
speakers they no sooner stood up when they were howled down &
to make things worse some malicious persons had distributed
cayenne pepper & snuff about the place & what with the
heat the sneezing howling shouting cursing Etc Etc it
presented the appearance of a pandemonium, business was quite
out of the question party feeling running very high -
I went last night to the Haymarket Theatre to see an Irish Comedian named ONeil in the "Irish Emigrant" which he played tolerably well - The Christy Minstrels have been performing there I went to hear them once or twice they are not so good as formerly, having lost two or three of their best men, their places being filled up with whoever could be procured in the colony - I wrote to Christy Foyne last week. I met Harry Dight a few days ago. He had just received a letter from T.Downs who informed him that my brother Edward was living in Dunedin with Signor Catabina, keeping a fashionable Billiard Saloon. I was very sorry
4/159 |
968
to hear it. Catebina is a decent fellow in his way but is
no companion for my brother who is very much attached to him
I feel to have very little hope of Ned becoming anything but
a Blaguard he seems to like associating with people of
questionable reputation - I had great hopes of Ned one time
so handsome & clever, if his talents could only have been guided
into a proper channel he would have made a fine man –
but I fear it is too late now, he seems to be confirmed in his
present cause - I wrote a long letter to Hamilton imploring
him him to look Ned up, & prevail upon him to adopt some
other mode of living. This morning I went to St Peters Church
In the afternoon Harry Clark called for me & we took a walk
together, went to his place to tea after which we went to the
B.S. Wesley Chapel. Harrys mother is going to leave their
Hotel in Napier St she having taken another one in Nt Melb
[Sunday, 19 March 1865]
20 March 1865
Very fine weather during the past week. Busy at the office
plenty of Ships at the pier discharging. The English Mail came
in in due time, bringing a letter from my father, one from my
Aunt Bryer containing the likenes of her son Charles & his
wife also a letter from Aunt Lucy, containing £50
for my sister Mary to enable her to procure things
which she will require for her wedding - which is to
take place in a few months time. I dont trouble myself
much about the affair, for J.J.Clark is a man I dont
like, time may change my opinion of him - I hope it
may. I rarely ever speak to him - he is a relative to
4/160 |
969
my friends the Clarks, who have figured in my journal of
late. I was greatly surprised at Aunt Lucys liberality
for from what I hear of her she is most parsimonious
about her affairs - Father is very well & the rest of our home
relatives much about as usual Tuesday night I went to the
Opera, the Lyster Troupe having lately arived from Adelaide,
& heard “Lucia di Lammemoor”. Squires & Escott were engaged
Squires sang “Fra poco” exquisitely. Two acts of “Lilly of Killarney”
was produced the same night Rose Durand, Sophia whom I never
liked taking the part of the “Colleen Bawn” while Armes Beaumont
a rising young colonial tenor, playd & sang the part of Hardress
very well Wharton (the best Baritone we ever had here, but
whose voice I fear is deteriorating greatly lately, in consequence of his
fondness for worshipping at the shrine of Bacchus) makes a
splendid Danny Man. He & Beaumont sang the Duet “The
Moon has raised her Lamp”, in a style which fairly brought
down the house - Friday night Fred & I went to hear
them in “Fra Diavolo” Squires & Escott sustaining the principal
parts in it. While Durand & Beaumont came out strongly
in the “Daughter of the Regiment” the two operas being
produced the same evening This evening I went to hear
a Mass sung at St Francis Chapel on leaving there I went
to St. Peters Church arrived in time to hear the sermon. In
the afternoon I paid Fitzroy Gardens a visit, met Lizzie
Atkinson & Marie Woods there rambled about with them until
tea time In the evening I went to Clarks spent the evening
with Sarah & her mother - did not stay very late I
am getting sick of visiting them. I wish they would not press me so much
4/161 |
970
- - - - - - April 2nd 1865
Another fortnight over my head but whether spent
profitably or not is the question. I have [nothing] very important
to note, my time being spent much the same as it
usually is with little variety. I spent one or
two evenings at Clarks at Nt Melb. Met Miss Finnigan
about a week ago looking as beautiful as ever. There has been
a coolness between us, in consequence of an anonymous
letter which she received of which I was accused of writing
however she has discovered its author & apologised to me for
ever having surmised I was guilty of doing a palty
action. I visited her house on Wednesday evening Mrs *Fleet
called & spent a very enjoyable evening together, her sisters
were at home & being a nice moonlight night induced
us to take a strool together in the Gardens 12 pm when
I left very reformed friends. I went to hear the Opera
of “The Huguenots” it is a grand Opera full of glorious
music, the principals were pretty good but the choruses
& secondary parts were far from creditable. A new Band
of Christy Minstrels have arrived, who call themselves the
veritable & really original ones. They have two Tenor
singers in their company one called Abecco, who has
created quite a furore, his voice is strong but limited in
range, but there is peculiar ring in his voice & he sings very
sensational songs, subjects of which are founded upon
incidents connected with the late American War, & are
becoming very popular - he plays the harp beautifully
4/162 |
971
& accompanies himself upon it when singing The
other Tenor, Herbert is more to my taste he has a
beautiful voice & knows how to use it, & when the
novelty of Abecco's singing is over, Herbert will be better
appreciated, at least I think so, the rest of the
company are very good. Raynor their Bass I dont care
for - Joe Brown the great Dancer is very popular &
with Collins do the comic *business they have a world
- wide reputation & I have no doubt the party will
doing very well in the Colony - The Mail arrived
from England, bringing us nothing but newspapers
from Father. This morning I took a strool about the
neighbourhood Afternoon ditto in company with my
brother Fred & in the evening we went to Clarks -
- - - - - - - - April 9th.1865 Weather very changeable during the past few days sometimes very hot & at others very cold Busy at the office I have been Three times to hear the ‘Christy Minstrels’ One evening I spent at Clarks. I forget where or how I spent the other evening, I think at home! I went to Chapel this morning. In the afternoon Bessie & I took a walk in the Gardens where we met Harriet Bishop who joined us in our strool, she is a beautiful girl but I think she is not particularly bright or intelligent, but she has a great number of admirers although very young. After tea I went to Chapel When the service was over I met some lady friends & saw one of them home -
4/163 |
972
Tuesday April 18th.1865
Since writing the last time I have had a pleasent
change (a trip to Bendigo the scene of many a bygone
day) The fore part of last week I spent as usual
Monday evening Miss McLaurin & I went to the Theatre together. Thursday night Fred & I went to see our friend Ambler make his debut in company with the Christy Minstrels he has a very good Baritone voice & will in time if he continues at it be an acquisition to the Colonial Lyric Stage his performance appeared to give general satisfaction The Easter holidays commenced on Good Friday & having & having four spare days before I determined upon taking advantage of them by paying Bendigo a visit, especially as the fares were so reasonable 12/- a return ticket (cheap travelling for 200 miles) I left by the 7 am train Friday purchasing what I thought was a return ticket, when to my astonishment on reaching Kangaroo Flat, 2 miles from Sandhurst, the porter coolly informed me it was a single ticket & that when I returned I should have to purchase another one on reaching Sandhurst I informed the Station Master of the circumstances but he could do nothing for me, so when I left I was compelled to pay for another ticket on reaching Melb I found out the Traffic Supt & told him of the affair when he promised to make enquiries & if he found my tale was true he would see that my money was returned to me I called at his office this evening & found the money ready for me, on giving up
4/164 |
973
first ticket I had scribbled my name upon it, so it was easily
discovered - But to return to my journey! I left Melb at
7 am & arrived on Sandhurst by 12 - I could not help
thinking of the old days, when I was younger, when with my
swag upon my back I had trudged wearily along those hills &
plains, that we were going over with Lightning speed in the
early digging days. What a contrast, a few years presents, when
at one time I had walked for a score of miles or more with-
-out seeing a habitation are now to be found farms, stations
Mills, townships - where I have walked knee deep in mud are
now to be seen good macadamised roads & streets. One can
scarcely realize the difference a few short years have made in
the face of things The Railway is a fine piece of work –
some splendid works are to be found upon the line, such as the
Viaduct at Tarradale & the two great tunnels, the one at
Elphinstone & the other through the "Big Hill" 8 miles from
Sandhurst. I was very glad to arrive at my journeys end
the carriages were so crowded & close - my first plan of call
was at Mrs Frazers who remembered me at once & would have
made me very welcome if I had remained She directed me
to my couzin Lizzie (Mrs. Holm) on calling I found her out
for the day, at California Gully, her husband who I met for
the first time seemed rather surprised by my familiar way
in enquiring for his wife, but when I told him who I was
his manner changed at once & he informed me who he was –
he insisted upon my remaining at his house as long as I
stayed on Bendigo, after spending about an hour with him I
4/165 |
974
started on an old familiar walk, to me, to California
Gully, but having to pass near Mr. Kings house, I could
not resist the temptation of giving the family a call
not that I had any great love for them with the exception
of one member of it who I thought might have been
there I called, & was disappointed. Mr. & Mrs. K & Mary
were the only ones at home - Mrs. Lay (Isa) had been
on a visit with them but had returned home that morning
however they made me very welcome, (Ned Rowitt was there
he is engaged to be married to Mary King & they were going to
Melb. that same afternoon together, I fancy to be married,
but I heard to day from the Dights, that they could not get
the ceremony performed they having neglected to give the
customary notice) I staid to dinner with them after which
I left & started for the Gully passing on the way two or three
spots where I formerly dwelt, a few stones of the chimney
on the ground, & the trench that had been cut around the tents
being the only vestiges left of my former habitations. I passed
many an old hole & shaft which I had sunk & toiled in
with high hopes & had left in despair at which I passed &
looked at & sighed. I met many an old familiar face at
which Id look at but whose blank look in return informed
me plainly that I was no longer remembered. I put my head
into several tents where lived old diggers that will never perhaps
leave the old spots they have pitched their tents upon, it nearly
brought tears to my eyes at the honest rough greeting they
gave me when I was recognised by those who remembered
4/166 |
975
the wild reckless boy they called “Gentleman Jack” or little Jack, the
only name I was known by many - on reaching the north side of Long
Gully I met McCaffray leading by a hand a pretty little girl, Mrs. Hickeys (Miriam) firstborn[1]
- I left him promising to call in
the morning at Mrs Hoopers - I found my couzins Liz & Henry at
Archy Baines hut spending the day, Liz is looking very well she has a
nice little girl. Harry is the same dry old sober sides, he is living
at Lizzies working with Ned Rowitt, Coopering, but he does not
intend remaining at it, he tells me that he is studying very
hard. I remained about 3 hours with them several people
called, old acquaintances who have lived in the Gully the last 10 years
& knew me when I was a boy, all glad to see me, I could see
the Nelson Reef across the Gully & the men at work with whom I
have done many a hard days labour with After tea I called
on Mrs. Hooper, (I met her son Bob who was going on the night
shift he is at work in the Nelson Reef) poor old soul she went into
ecstasies on seeing me she hugged & kissed me till I thought Id
choke no one was home so I spent the evening in hearing
her go over all her trials & afflictions & giving me a full true
& particular account of every scandle & event both minor &
major that had occurred in the neighbourhood since my
leaving it at length seeing I was sleepy she prepared my bed
she seemed as if nothing was too much for her to do for me she is
a goodnatured woman warm hearted & affectionate always trying
to be useful to her neighbours, visits the sick & afflicted no
matter who they may be. Bob & Scoty came home
from work at 4 am next morning. Mrs. Hooper & Scoty
4/167 |
976
started for Melb. by the first train & having to walk 3 miles
to the station they left before I was up. Bob & I got up
9 Am & we prepared our breakfast after which we took a
ramble about the neighbourhood, we visited the Frazers who
keep a Store in the same shop that Andrew Smith formerly
carried on business in. Locky had gone to town the
rest of the family excepting Mr & Mrs F. did not remember
[me] being young children when I left. I called on Mr. Froggart
who is still the Manager of the Nelson Reef he was very glad
to see me & showed me over the Works - I found several of
the old hands employed about the place, Harvey the Smith &
Pithey the Engineer & much to my surprise my old &
esteemed friend Mr. Brown who I have not seen since I
left the Manuherike River Otago N.Z. He was formerly a
Director & a large Shareholder in the Company, but having lost a
deal of money in N.Z. & elsewhere he is compelled [to] take a situation
he is a very clever man, theoretically & practically to, he informed
me that he left Dunedin 2 months ago & that he met my
brother Edward there, looking very well & respectably dressed,
he was living with Catibini. On leaving the Reef which
is paying better than it has done since I left it, I went to
Wellsteads he is looking very old, his wife is the same fine
noble looking woman as ever They made me very welcome
Mrs Wls as jolly & rollicking as ever informed me that there
has been no life nor fun in the Gully since I left it -
I shall never forget her dressing up in Volunteers clothes
4/168 |
977
one night & I in hers & both us taking a walk together
through the township, when she perceiving the policeman (the
only one) coming took to her heels with all a womans instinct
of fear, of course I followed with my crinolin under my
arm to the astonishment of the bewildered "Bobby". Ah! how
we laughed over it & other madcap pranks, she has three or
four children now & is getting a little more matronly in
her appearance. They informed me that they have been very
unfortunate lately owing to some mining speculation -
I called on Mr & Mrs. Drew. Geo was working but on
seeing me he said Ill do no more work to day, he was so
delighted to see me. Mrs D had seen me in the distance & knew
I would call so she had put on the kettle & knowing how fond I
used to be of fritters had commenced mixing some, of which
I partook heartily of They were very kind & made me so welcome
They have had two children since I last saw them - I left
them about 3 pm. & called at several other places in that
neighbourhood after which Bob Hooper & I went into
Sandhurst, & called at my couzins, found several young
ladies there & a Mrs Eliot who gave me a pressing invite
to a party she was to give as last night, of course I had
to decline. After tea I rambled about Pall Mall & being
Saturday night it was crowded I met a great number
of people I knew, many of course to whom I stopped &
chatted with among the number, Andrew Smith, my
companion from Dunedin on board the Alhambra, he is a
rising man, has shares in several payable claims & is
4/169 |
978
the Manager of a Branch Bank at Raywood We walked
about, for an hour or so when we parted with mutual
good wishes for each others future welfare, I slept at Lizzies
Next morning I went out to Long Gully & called for
Bob Hooper & together we visited tents in the Gully
called upon Dave Anderson he is the same
happy go lucky fellow as of old, & unfortunately as
fond of his Beer as ever, such a pity! for he is
really a superior man, having been well educated &
mixed in good society, he is now about 28 years old but sinking
fast into a sot. I talked long with him & did my best
to persuade him to a different course of life & endeavour
to regain his lost position in society, he is living at
present with Jim Hall, who I was sorry to find absent,
after dinner which I had with Dave - Bob & I started
a long walk to the "Birds Reef" Kangaroo Flat, where I
was informed my old friend Mr. Halley was living
On reaching his place I was disappointed upon hearing
that he left that morning to visit Echuca. I was
very sorry for there was no one on Bendigo than I would
sooner have seen than him. We had just left the
place when who should I meet but himself
it appeared that he had missed the train so was returning
home We were very glad to see each other, he is looking
much older, his hair is getting quite grey, we sat
down on the roadside & had a long talk relating
in turn how time had served us since last we parted
4/170 |
979
found that we had each our ups & downs so after
mutually sympathising with each other we parted, Bob
& I took a Cab at Kangaroo Flat & drove into Sandht
had tea at Lizzies, after which, Bob left, I spent the
evening with Mr. & Mrs. Holm very pleasently & retired to
bed early feeling very tired after my long days walk
I arose next morning (Monday) at 6
& made my adieus, & then walked to the Railway Station
& took my seat, arrived in town by 12 O.C. met Mr
King & his son Jack on the Melb platform - on my
arrival home I indulged in a Bath, a luxury owing
to the scarcity of water in Bendigo that I have not
had since leaving home, after which, I took my sister
Bessie to the Athletic Sports on the Melb Cricket Ground
I did not enjoy the sports very much, feeling rather
fatigued & the day being very hot I met several
I knew on the ground, Locky Frazer & Jim Stewart –
among the number After tea I went to Kerrs, met
miss Clark & Jenny Kerr, in company with Trotter, after
some chatting Trotter & I went to the Theatre together
& heard the Christy Minstrels, 12 when I got home
I went to business this morning, found my work very
hard after the holidays. In the evening I went to Clarks
at Nt. Melb’ met several young fellow acquaintances
there, & also some young ladies, spent an hour or two very
pleasently singing & dancing Etc - & so has passed my
Easter holidays - very pleasently on the whole I think
4/171 |
980
- - - - Sunday April 23rd 1865
Quite a change in the weather during the past few
days, no rain but very cold & gloomy, its a pity
we have no rain, being much wanted after the long
spell of dry weather Nother has occurred worth noting
since I last wrote Friday the 21st inst was observed as a
halfholiday being the anniversary of the Eight Hour labour
system, the day was chosen for the Unveiling of the
Statue of Burke & Wills (the Explorers, who came to
such a fatal end at Coopers Creek) which has been
erected at the intersection of Collins & Russell St the
ceremony was performed by the Governor Sir Charles Darling
& witnessed by an immense crowd of people. The statue
is a very fine one Wills is represented sitting down, writing,
& Burke is erect with one hand resting upon Wills
shoulder, being very suggestive of the support he received
from him while living. The figures are
of Herculean proportions resting upon a granite base
with some bas reliefs in metal, representing their journey
across Australia, set into the stone The English Mail
arrived yesterday by several days beyond its time –
no letters, nothing but a few papers from my father
I went to hear the Minstrels last night, being their
closing night. Signor Abecco was presented with a
Medal by some of his numerous admirers, he responded
to [the] compliment in a very nice manner. This afternoon
Harry Clark & I took a strool in Fitzroy Gardens, &
4/172 |
981
we met Miss Lizzie Atkinson, a young lady Clark is
rather soft upon, & another young lady that I was introduced
to her name is Idalia Rekowski. I was surprised. I did not
remember her, not having seen her since she was a little girl
before I went to N.Z. Then in company with her sister
Agnes, who is now Mrs. W.H.Dalrymple, we soon got on very
good terms together, she being very chatty & agreeable, Clark
& I walked to Richmond with them - on leaving them I
accompanied Harry to his mothers where I had tea & spent
the evening with him -
[Sunday, 30 April 1865] Sunday 29th [30th] April 1865 Weather beautiful, but rather chilly at times, had a little rain but not enough to [do] any good. Rather slack at the office, in consequence of the non arrival of vessels. Monday night I met Miss Clark or she threw herself in my way, the girl is getting too fond. I walked home with her. Thursday night I visited her mothers, several people there passed the time singing & dancing. I was there again last night a lot of acquaintances dropped in, mostly young fellows & admirers of Miss C. They had been to the Sports at St Kilda & were half seas over having been basking in the sun pretty freely. Not having any sympathy for that sort of thing I left early & walked into town, where I met Fred Rooke & a Captain Kruntz, of the Ship “Crown Prince Lusina Christian Von Sweeden”) what a name) the Capt I found a jolly young fellow & very liberal with his money & cigars. We visited several places of amusement of various descriptions, until 12 when I left them
4/173 |
982
I went to the B.S. Wesley Chapel heard a long dry
sermon, very argumentive but so obtuse as to be quite
incomprehensible to me After dinner, I took my walk
abroad, as usual to the Gardens, met Mr Chiek & Miss
Finnegan, promised to visit the latter next week. I went to
Chapel in the evening, walked to the P.O. with a girl
I knew when I left her & meeting with Harry Clark I
went with him, home, found Trotter & Selman there as
usual, the latter is a discarded lover & the former is
persevering to ingratiate himself into the good graces
of Sarah Clark. I wish him every success, he looks
daggers at me & is very jealous & all that sort of thing, & yet
we are friendly I have told him many a time I dont care
for the girl but at the same time he is not blind to
the partial manner she displays towards me - Oh bother
such a subject I fear Im an awful flirt & a humbug
I shall get taken in some of these days, I know! -
- - - - - - - May 7th, 1865 Weather very unsettled, tho’ very little rain has fallen. Monday evening I went out for a strool met several acquaintances, (male). D. & I found our way to Kerrs, & I was induced to puchase a ticket for a Ball for the following evening to which I went, found a very jolly lot of people there, being fond of a dancing I managed to enjoy myself. I left about at 3 Am the following morning, those remaining
4/174 |
983
were beginning to get too noisy & rowdy to please me
I went to business as usual but felt very tired, but
after tea I went to Finnegans as I had promised
left about 10 Pm & came home. Thursday night
I went to Clarks, thought they were very cool
towards me. It did not affect me much for they
are people I dont much care for. Sarah is the
one that makes the place attractive to me
she plays & sings & does her best to please & altogether
is very agreeable & I generally find pleasent company
at the house which all tends to ones amusement
& pleasure Friday night Mr. Bonaich called
he is a gentleman we have met several times
at Mrs. Morris's & other friends houses, & he effects
a serious regard toward my younger sister Bessie
We know very little of him but that little is
in his favour. My sister, I fancy, rather likes
him, but she is so young I fear she cannot
analyze the feelings she has towards him, he called
as I have stated to invite Bessie Fred & I to spend
the evening at some friends of his (whom I have
met before) Mr & Mrs Steels, Hotham, we found
Mr & Mrs. Morris there & also other acquaintances
most of whom were musical, so we managed
to spend a pleasent evening together. Saturday
morning I spent, at Dalgety & Co. office copying
a Ships Manifest. In the afternoon R.Ryland
4/175 |
984
& I visited the Museum (University) a place
well worth visiting, the ground floor is devoted
to Models of Mchy for Mining & Agricultural
purposes. Above are to be found some splendid
collections of minerals, shells, bones Etc Etc
but what pleased me the most, were the Cases of
Stuffed Birds & Animals, the whole forming
a Collection of objects that Young Victoria ought to
be proud in possessing. Fred & I took our usual
ramble, about town in the evening - This morning
, Sunday, I went to Church, took a walk in the
afternoon, & in the evening I went to Clarks, found
no one at home but Sarah. I at once charged
her with her strange behaviour on my last visit
after some hesitation she confessed that T.Sellman
had informed her that I had told him that I did
not care for her & that I thought her a fool in
showing her preference towards me, Etc all of which
was very true & but in speaking to Sellman upon I
the subject, I used to greatest caution & used the most
delicate expressions to convey my opinion of
her to him, while he has repeated or conveyed the
sense of my remarks to her in his own,
coarse vulgar way. It is not the first time
he has made mischief in that house between
its visitors. I am glad it occurred in one sense
4/176 |
985
for it gave me an opportunity of relieving her mind
of any idea she had entertained respecting my relations
to her - after doing so, I was going away with the
intention of never visiting her more, the most honourable
plan I could adopt, when she entreated me to continue
on friendly terms with her, & whatever feeling she had
toward me she would endeavour to conquer, of
course I promised but for the future my visits
will be like the "proverbial Angels," as I was
coming away the Kerrs called so I waited for them
& accompanied them home -
May 14 1865 The weather has been very unsettled during [the week], but not much rain has fell, until yesterday when we had a gale of wind accompanied with sleety rain, which has continued to the present time Monday evening I spent at home, several visitors called & we managed to spend an agreeable evening. Tuesday evening I spent at Kerrs, Wednesday I spent, at Clarks found Jones, Trotter & Sellman there, the latter I had a few words with, the others interfering prevented us from quarrelling, we parted good friends after our tea cup squall. Miss C. assumed the distant toward me, but it was so strained & marked that her manner must have appeared rather ludicrous to the others present. I walked home with Miss Kerr
4/177 |
986
Thursday evening Fred & I took a strool about town
came home about 11 Pm. Friday afternoon, Geo Drew
called upon me, & in the evening I called at the
Exchange Hotel where he is lodging with his wife
& family, until a vessel sails for Queensland, where
they purpose going. Geo. has been very unfortunate on
Bendigo & having a brother in Brisbane he thinks
it will be to his interest to go & settle there. I remained
with them until 9 Pm. when we parted with mutual
good wishes for each others welfare. I called at
Clarks on my way home, found my Bro Fred
there, came home early Saturday afternoon I
called at Dights, no one at home, so I returned &
spent the rest of the day, doing odd jobs
about the place chopping wood, driving in nails
here & there & jobbing in the garden. In the evening
Miss McLaurin called & staid about an hour I walked
into town with her to Dr Brownless' house where
she is living & employed as Governess, on my return
home I ate a hearty supper, which brought on a
fit of indigestion that kept me awake
all night with a pain in my stomach. To day
it rained very hard, so I remained at home reading
everything that came in my way, it cleared up
a little in the evening when Fred & I went to
the Wesleyan Chapel Bk St I didnt profit much by
what I heard feeling sleepy. I could hardly keep
4/178 |
987
my eyes open, it was bitterly cold when we got outside
& we were not long before we reached home,
On Wednesday I had a visit from a young man
who had just arrived from Dunedin, who brought
me news of my Bro Ned, he is still with
Catabini, at the old game, I feel sorry Ned has
not more pride or self respect to continue such a
low calling, however I was glad to hear that he was
alive & well. I shall write to him next week -
- - - - Sunday 21st May 1865 Horrible disagreeable weather wet & cold & very little sunshine, dirty streets, every body looking dull & melancholy. One good thing about it it keeps Fred & I more at home than we otherwise would be. The English Mail arrived on Monday, no letters, nothing but a few papers from father. Fred & I spent the evening in following a female Ballad Singer about from place to place, we heard her sing about a dozen songs, some of which she really sang well displaying both taste & feeling, she has a good voice & I have no doubt at one time & under different circumstances, she had a fine organ - I feel very sorry for the woman she appears to be a poor delicate creature, two men accompany her upon some Bass instruments. Tuesday evening had to remain at home Wednesday evening I spent at Kerrs, sat talking with Jenny who for two blessed hours did nothing
4/179 |
988
but relate to me her hopes & fears respecting a lover
she imagines she has, she is very fond of him
& I believe the fellow is a married man &
is only fooling her, what an astonishing fellow I am
everybody I get intimate with makes a confident of
me. I am the possessor of more secrets
on love affairs than I believe any man of my acquaintance
Thursday evening I went for my sisters who had been spending the afternoon at Mrs Morriss, met them in company with H.Clark so I turned with them & came home. Miss Crispen dropped in & we managed to spend an agreeable evening. I saw Miss C home at 11 Pm & afterwards accompanied Harry a part of his way home to Hotham, he has lately returned from Woods Point where he has been engaged as a Mining Agent but I dont think that he has gained much by his absence excepting experience Friday evening I spent at the Brunswick St. Chapel There was a Rehearsal for a concert which is to be given on the Queens B Day F.Reeves is the principal vocalist & if she sings as well at the Concert as she did when I heard her, I am sure the audience will be pleased. Saturday afternoon I spent until 4 Pm in making extracts from "The Life [of] Julius Ceasar" compiled I hear at a cost of £30000 by no less an author than Napoleon III Emperor of the French. The work, as far as I can judge, is well written & displays great care & study in its compilation, but the
4/180 |
989
object of the work, appears to me, to place the life & general
character of the Great Napoleon in favourable comparison
with that of the greatest of the Ceasars There is some
analogy in the characters of the two men, but not to the
extent that Napoleon III wishes to make out, after
finishing my notes I took a strool into town met a
young man named Marsden, an acquaintance, &
walked home with him In the evening Fred &
I went to the Haymarket Theatre together, saw Miss Cleveland
in a piece called "St Marys Eve" but the attraction of the thing
was the reappearance of several vocal mediums, Farquharson
Sherwin & Mde Carandini & her daughter Fanny the
latter is a pleasing singer but I fear she will [not] be as
good as her mother. The old lady sang as charmingly
as ever. Sherwin is done up & the least said about him
the better. Farquharson was as good as ever, he sang the
‘Desert’ & the "Maniac" magnificently, & one or two
Buffe Songs which met with much approval
[1865-06-04-Sunday] - - - - - - - June 3rd.[4th] 1865 Weather very unsettled during the last two weeks – scarcely a day without rain, I have been kept very busy at the office several English vessels having arrived lately & on discharging their Cargoes at our Pier. I sent in an application to Mr. Finlayson Secretary of the M & H B Rl Co, about, a fortnight [ago] for an increase of salary. I received an answer two days since informing me that an increase of 10s/d-
4/181 |
990
per week had been granted me which is certainly an
improvement upon what I have been getting. If it
had not been for the money I had from England I
could never have knocked along as I have done on my
small salary my rise was accompanied with an
intimation that my employers are quite alive to my
merits & were very well pleased at the manner in which
I performed the duties of my situation
I have been no place of amusement since I last wrote with the exception of an amateur Concert I attended given in the Brunswick St Chapel The singing was good on the whole, being selections from Oratorios - Last Saturday evening I had some words with J.J.Clark the gentleman my sister Mary is engaged to. I never liked him, he appears, to me, to have a most proud overbearing contemptible manner & one of those men who can see no virtue in another, & is very nasty & sarcastic at times. I dont mind that sort of thing so long as he keeps it for strangers, but he is continually casting reproaches & saying disagreeable things about our family Etc I let him know that he had no right to assume such a dictatorial tone in our house & insisted upon him, for the future to mind his own business on the following Monday morning I received a most intolerant note from him to which I replied in very plain terms The following day I received another note from him, more
4/182 |
991
overbearing & insulting than the former I answered it also
in a manner which no man of spirit could have
mistaken. I had the mortification of receiving another
effusion from him in reply which I intended returning to
him unopened, but for my mother who thought there
might be something in it in reference to my sister there
was not & I am happy to state that in none of his notes
did he allude to her, she met him this morning &
he informed her that he did not intend to visit the house
again. I hope he wont while I am in it, for I shall
certainly quarrel with him, but for Marys sake I would
have kicked him out of the house long ago, she is a fool
to attach herself to such a man, she has plenty of admirers
but Clark always seems to hang after her, dog in the manger
kind of spirit. He is a clever young man an Architect
by profession, & is employed in the Bd of Lands & Works Office
& is in receipt of a splendid salary I really think
he is fond of my sister, but being very sensitive & proud
he is afraid of being ridiculed by marrying my sister in
the face of the many of the many illnatured unfounded
reports that have been spread by malicious people
concerning the cause of my fathers absence &
his living away from his family, it would be amusing
if it was not so injurious to think of the many stories
which have been in circulation respecting us of
which I was quite ignorant of until I came to live
at home - another of the mortifications my fathers -
4/183 |
992
conduct has entailed upon his family
We had a holiday on Queens Birth Day I took the girls
to see the Review held on Emerald Hill, on arriving home
we found the Miss Clarks here I was very polite &
courteous toward them in spite of my quarrel with
their brother, I dont think that they are aware of the
eruption between us - The eldest Miss C is a plain spoken
frank jolly kind of girl but whose education I fancy has
been neglected, the other one is quite the reverse being stiff &
formal. I hear she is very talented, & amiable -
I took a strool into town that evening & was nearly burnt
to death by fireworks. I wonder the Authorities dont
put a stop to such things going off in the streets -
This afternoon Bessie & I took a walk, met T.Grimwood who came home to tea with us, In the evening I went to the Brunswick St Wesleyan Chapel -
[18 June 1865-06-18 Sunday] - - - - - - - 17 June 1865 A fortnight has elapsed since I continued my journal I have been hard at work in the office several large vessels just arrived & are moored alongside of our pier to discharge their cargoes. I have spent what little spare time I can find in copying into a substantially bound book, of this description, a portion of my old journal which I kept many years ago. I found it hard to make out, written as it was, many times by the Camp fire in the Bush on scraps of
4/184 |
993
paper & in small memorandum books. I feel loath
to let them be distroyd, now that I have kept
them [so] long & the longer the events recorded the more
interesting they will prove to be, at least to me, in the
future. I have spent my evenings as I usually do
visited the Haymarket Theatre once or twice to see
some really clever Acrobats who call themselves the
“Lenton Troupe” - I generally take a good sharp
walk after my tea for a couple of hours or so I feel
a necessity for this being accumstoned until very
lately to so much outdoor exercise. This day week
I accompanied Bessie to witness a Confirmation
Service at St Marks Church, the service was rather
an interesting [one] but rather to public & too much show about
it to be an impressive one Fred & I went to St Peters
in the evening at the conclusion of the service we
met two sisters, Misses Stewarts, friends of Fred, we
accompanied them home to Richmond On Tuesday
evening Arthur Nicholson & I were going up Brunswick
St & we met Miss Heeth who introduced me to rather
a pretty girl named Miss Stone she is about the middle
height, rather a neat figure, her face, which by the bye
is classically featured, what I should term a *Scenic *Grace
such as one an artist would like to draw, a physiognomist would
say there wanted intelligence to light the face up & give
it expression I have met her every evening since -
We took a long walk together on Friday. I found her
4/185 |
994
much younger than I thought she was, very quiet -
a quietness that rather puzzles me, being doubtful whether
it arises from absolute dullness or from
extreme cautiousness & cunning she is rather young to expect
the latter I must see more of her ere I decide, she
agrees to meet me & kisses me, or allows me to kiss her
in the most mechanical manner, never seems to display
a particle of warmth or feeling, a “Stone by name & one
by nature”. I feel strangely attracted by to her & at the same
time I dont feel an atom of love for her
I look upon her as I would upon a fine piece of statuary -
singular anomaly of nature, beauty without intelligence
& visa versa, so often to be met with in life I have
noticed it so often. Beauty either in male or female
allied with all thats sensuous, whilst plainness with
intelligence seem combined, on ordination of providence
I suppose to make all alike attractive in some sense or
another I dont think Ill see the girl again unless
I see some sign of a “thaw in the icicle” the next
time we meet.
- - - - - - - - July 2nd 1865 A fortnight since I continued my journal the English Mail arrived here on the 24 ult 12 days after contract time. We received no news by it - American news are of fearful importance The fall of Richmond, the Confederates last stronghold is reported which will end the most fearful
4/186 |
995
& bloody civil war on record This is not all, for
a Tragedy of a shocking description marks the
finish of this fearful struggle (which for loss of
blood the numbers slain, the bitter
hatred displayed on both sides stand unparalleled.)
no less than the Assassination of President Abraham
Lincoln, while sitting in his box in the Theatre
New York, in company with his Secretary, & his
family, was shot at by an actor named –[John Wilkes Booth]
who is supposed to be an agent of the Confederate party
after committing the deed he managed to escape in the
panic that ensued but was shortly afterwards captured
& who I suppose is now out of the land of living -
The weather has been very wet & miserable lately
I have not been to any place of amusement
since I last wrote, nor have I read much. I
generally go out in the evening for a short time
when I usually meet with some acquaintance
or another. I met Miss Stone several times
she is a queer girl rather consequential & pretty
vain of her beauty which makes her coquettish
but not in a fascinating sense that is usually met
with in a coquette, the fact is she has no formed
character of her own, & it will depend entirely
upon the hands she gets into whether she will turn
out good or bad, through all her coldness & reserve I am
sure she has strong passions which are smothered &
4/187 |
996
dormant at present, she is one I should be afraid to place
much confidence in, or place any affections upon, for she
appears to me to be one of those sort of people that you
could not get hold upon through the affections, to
anyone reading the above opinion of her, would
conclude that she was vain, selfish & whimsical
a frightful character to give a girl, but one I feel is true
from the study I have made of her. I may be wrong
there may be a bright side to the picture I fancy
there must be, but I have not seen it, confound the girl
she interests me, & yet I wouldnt love her for the world!
Last Sunday night I went to hear Isaac New preach
in the Baptist Chapel Albert St. he is an eloquent
preacher & a scholar. I was greatly interested in
his lecture, for it was nothing else, being a refutation
of Colenso’s Work on the Pentateuch. I could not help
thinking of the last time that I was in the place
years ago in company with Jane Summers, where
is she now! We had a holiday yesterday the 1st.July
to commemorate two events, Separation Day & the union
of the Suburban & M & HB R Co lines the latter having
purchased the former & brought under one Directory, the
consequence being that all the employees had notices
of dismissal served upon them, but with the
option of entering the services of the new company,
which we did, the business going on in the usual manner
as before the compy is now the M & H B United Rly Co
4/188 |
997
I took advantage of the holiday to pay Mr & Mrs. Griffin
at St Kilda a visit. I was ashamed *nicely to do so
considering their kindness to me that I have not been
to see them before, the reason being that a number
of ill natured remarks had been passed by my
family in reference to myself & Mrs. G which did
not please me that placed me in a queer position
however they welcomed me beyond my expectations
Mrs. G & I had a long talk together about Bonaich & Bessie
& also concerning our unfortunate affair - she admitted
being very foolish & to blame in the matter & it led her
seriously to reflect upon her conduct for in the future -
I left her about 5 pm after tea Fred & I took a
strool about town, came home early calling upon
Miss Stone on the way Had a chat with her for half an hour
got home by 9 Pm, time to go bed now I think.
- - - - - - - - - July 16th.1865 Another fortnight passed away. Weather truly wretched, & bitterly cold. Rather slack at the office I have not visited a place of amusement since I last wrote but I am out somewhere every evening. I am seldom in want of a companion knowing as I do so many young fellows about Fitzroy, & I ought to say young ladies I managed to rid myself of one of my female acquaintances, Miss S. she turned out what I sus- -pected she was, a cunning, deceitful thing she served
4/189 |
998
“Alas! Alas! she became my wife”
me the meanest trick I was ever playd & displayd in the action such a thorough want of principle & low mindedness that I was actually savage & have been since to think to I could ever have felt any thing like interest for such a creature. I was fool enough to be so stung by her behaviour that instead of treating her with the silent contempt she merited I wrote a note to her, on the impulse of the moment, pointing out to her her faults & elightening her as to the consequences such conduct as she is guilty of would produce - I met her by accident a day or two afterwards fully expecting her to make some explanation or see her display a particle of contrition for her baseness, but no! The same mobile manner I was annoyed not for myself but on her account, at seeing such a fair “casket containing so foul a gem”. Heaven grant she may change if none takes place, what an end hers will be. I may be wrong in thus condemning her in fact I have no right to do so, for after all the girl never displayd any affection for me if I asked her to take a walk she would agree so mechanically that it was no pleasure going with her, however I have done with her, & *the only wish I have is that my fears respecting her will never be realized. Last evening I went to town met Liz Atkinson & walked home with her This evening I went to Chapel & in the evening
4/190 |
999
I went to hear the Revd. W Taylor, or "California Taylor"
as he is called to distinguish him from the Baptist
minister of the same name, he goes in strongly
for Revivals, he preached a very fine sermon of
the sensational kind illustrating his subject by a
number of really witty & interesting anecdotes –
he has a strong Yankee accent, which falls rather
strangely upon English ears, he is very broad
& coarse in his remarks, at times, that rather
distroys the effect of his otherwise eloquent orations
If I had left the chapel immediately after the
sermon I should have been well pleased, but at
the solicitations of some friends I was induced to
remain at the prayermeeting & witness what I can
call by no other name than the tempory insanity of
the people disgusted me of the whole affair, great
numbers of very wicked people were converted
mostly of whom appeared to me to be young girls
& boys who seemed to me to be frightened into
the grace of God by the terrors of a hell which the
Revd gentleman very graphically discribed to his
conscience strickened listeners, all I hope is that
the apparent changes I witnessed will be lasting &
productive of good, but I have my doubts
concerning these extraordinary sudden conversions
bless me! what an awful difference there must be in
peoples natures & susceptibilities - I got into
4/191 |
1000
a precious row on Friday evening, I went to see the
Volunteers go through their drill. Their Band was
out on the occasion which attracted a large number
of people. I was talking to a lady when I was struck
by some "rowdy cad". I rolled into the fellow, who
appeared to be the leader of a band of young "roughs"
I was soon attacked by some half dozen of them but
getting them in front of me, I dropped them with
my knuckles as quickly as they came on, they
seeing me so determined made them shy & they
soon left me but not before I had received some ugly
blows which has left me feeling rather stiff & sore
it is some satisfaction to know that I gave them
as much as I received, I met one of them yesterday
with his eye bunged up & another with the ugliest
looking pair of lips I ever saw, they slunk by
very quietly looking scowlingly upon me –
my old weakness for Boxing & knowing how to use
my fists served me a good turn not the
first time in my life that I have profited by
my knowledge of the "Noble Art" -
[Sunday, 30 July 1865] - - - - - - - - - - 31st July 1865 A fortnight more passed over my head & things as far as I am concerned are about the same as usual. The English Mail arrived in due time, no letter from any relatives, a few papers from father in one of them we found a few pencilled lines informing us
4/192 |
1001
he had not been well for some time, suffering from
sciatica & was unable to attend to his business
whatever that business may be puzzles my intellectual
I wrote him a long letter which I sent by the Mail
that has just left. One evening last week Mary
& I went to a Concert given by Farqharson & were
greatly pleased with the performance. Monday
night Arthur Nicholson & I went to the Circus at
the HayMarket Theatre. I wish I could shake Arthur
off he is a bore to me, being nothing more than a *fan-
boy but possessing a good heart, but a little stock of
moral principle, & very susceptible to evil influence
Wednesday night I went to see Barry Sullivan in “Hamlet” it is the best of Shakespeares characters he plays, & in the character I am safe in stating he has had no superior. I dont think remembering the impression it has left upon me, that G V Brooke “Hamlet” was better. B.S. is always good, tho at times stodgy, but he fairly surpasses himself in this part
I spent a jolly evening at Blanchards last week There are three Miss Bs, & bright articles they are! do very well to have a bit of fun with I spent an evening at Clarks W.Melb they made quite a fuss of me. Sarah was very urbane & agreeable & appeared very anxious of get[ting] on a good footing with me “I wasnt on”. it was 2 next morning when I arrived home. Last Sunday
4/193 |
1002
morning I went to hear Mozarts 12th Mass sung
at St Francis C.C Eliz St Tuesday evening I
spent at Fs grand party, didnt get home from
St Kilda till daylight next morning. I have been
out every evening somewhere or another where &
how I have spent my time would be too difficult
a matter to chronicle. I had a letter the other
day from Bob Hooper, he is still in Long Gully
informed me Mrs Hickey has had another addition
to her family in the shape of a "smiling little
olive branch" Bob alluded to old acquaintances
mentions several of the old Gully boys, who are
still gliding through life as they formerly did in
the go day come day God save Sunday kind of way,
without a thought beyond Saturday night & a belly
full of Beer. A regular “dead set.” has been made
upon me to convert me by a member of the
Wesleyan body, whose acquaintance I made in a
singular manner. I alluded in my last entry
to having heard the Revd. W.Taylor, I was into a
pew on that occasion in company with a tall good
looking gentlemanly man, with such a kindly amiable
looking face that quite attracted me to him, having to
wait nearly an hour before the service began we got
into conversation. I found he was a professed Christian
& a firm believer & supporter of Wesleyism
& who firmly believed in certain seasons of when
4/194 |
1003
the masses were more susceptible to Revivals &
that sort of thing. I objected to the idea & we had a
long argument together, which diverged to all manner
of subjects. At the conclusion of the sermon, seeing
I looked pleased he imagined I had been fired by the
eloquence of the Revd W.T. whereas I was only amused, he
spoke long & earnestly to me & beseeched me to become serious –
& I gave him my name
on parting he gave me his card ^ & address which I thrust into
my pocket. I had forgotten the circumstances, when a few
days afterwards a fellow clerk of mine, brought me a note
which on opening I found to be an invitation from Mr S.G.King
to spend to day with him. I had no idea who the person was
but putting a hand into my pocket I pulled out a card & so I
discovered the note was from my friend alluded to, I was to meet
him at the door of the Nt Melb Wesley Church which I did &
he seemed very glad to see me & showed me into a pew The Revd
Joseph Dare preached an eloquent sermon on “silent, prayer”
at the conclusion of the service I was introduced to Mrs. King
& her sister, Miss Smith, a really beautiful girl. I was invited
to dinner by Mr K but being strangers I was declining when
the young one joined in requesting me go home with them, I
[saw] there was no resisting so I went, found they lived in Hotham
where Mr K has an extensive Drapery business & judging from
the manner the house is furnished & the beautiful gems of
art scattered about I should imagine he must be a man of
taste & means. I spent the afternoon with them very
pleasently Miss S playing & singing Hyms & sacred pieces
4/195 |
1004
there was a nice quiet subdued kind of religious halo
about everything & everybody connected with the place so
very different from anything that I have been accustomed
to that I felt somewhat out of my element, I left
them abaout 4.30, but not before Mr K
delivered me impromptu service exhorting me to seek Jesus
& endeavour to wean myself from the follies of this world
& to learn to pray & pray without ceasing & much more
to the point all of which was intended for my good &
from the present Christian motives, heavens how little he knew
how my thoughts were running riot. I am sure I was paying
more attention to the graceful figure & bright face
of Miss S who was looking so demure all the time I was *receiving
my theological discourse. I fairly breathed freely when
I got outside & commenced whistling by way of giving vent
to my pent up feelings After tea I went out for a
short time met an acquaintance & took a walk together
home by 8.30. -
- - - - - - - August 6th.1865 Beautiful weather but rather cold in the mornings & evenings. Very busy at the office, in consequence of the delinquency of a fellow clerk named Nm.Harrison, who has been suspended & is now in the hands of the police for embezzling monies of the Co. I have been placed in the position he held, which is a much more responsible one & yet I am afraid I shall get no more salary for a long time to come having lately received an increase
4/196 |
1005
I have spent but one whole evening at home
during the week, the rest of my leisure time gone as
usual knocking about. I have been to two parties one
at Faulkners St Yarra & the other at *Thistlwaites St Kilda.
My leisure daylight moments, I seldom attempt to read
at night in consequence of my sight, Ive spent in reading
Shakespears plays. This morning I went B St W.C
afternoon Bessie & I took a walk around Fitzroy Gardens
In the evening I went with a friend to St Patricks R.C. Church
on Eastern Hill, the finest place of worship in Victoria or I
should say it will be when its finished, at the conclusion
of the service we met two girls we know slightly, the
youngest of which I walked home with, her name is
Louisa Burke, a daughter of very poor people, but she is
a lovely little girl & appears to be very sharp & intelligent &
if educated would be the making of a fascinating woman, she
is a mere child as yet, I should not think was more than 15
years of age -
- - - - - - - - August 13th 1865 Lovely weather. Hard at work in my new Billet in the Goods office as Invoice & Endorsing Clerk, that is to say that or to explain what my duties are in The cargoes of the various vessels that are discharged at the Pier at Sandridge are brought to Melb by Rail & stored in immense Sheds until the various consignees to whom the goods belong to come to take them away
4/197 |
1006
before doing which they present me there Bill of Lading
which I compare with the Manifest of the Ship that I
make up from the Captains or Ships papers The Rly
charge upon the goods is 5s/d- per ton of 14 ft msmt. or if
Iron or heavy goods by dead weight I have to see that we
get the correct weight & measrmt of the same, make out
the a/c & get paid for them after which I endorse the
B/L for Delivery & as far as I am concerned they can
take their goods away, not being well up to mark, it
comes rather hard, but in time when I am more accustomed
to it, mine will be a comfortable situation
as far as the work is concerned. There used to be two
clerks in the office, a Mr Harrison (who has been sentenced to
two years imprisonment) & a Mr. Birch who through not
reporting Harrison earlier has been discharged. I was
put in the formers place while the latter has been filled
by a young man named David Adamson, who is
nominally, my superior, receives more salary, through
having been longer in the Co. service. I am rather angered
at this for he is not fitted for the situation, he writes a
very poor hand & is very slow & the dullest hand at
the simplest sum in Arithmetic I ever knew. I dont
much like playing second fiddle to such a man, tho from
the little that I have seen of him, I think, I shall
like, he appears to know his deficiencies & is not at all
presuming & appears very grateful for the assistance I
lend him in doing his work. My evenings I have
4/198 |
1007
I have spent as usual knocking about Monday evening
Mr Bonaich came down from the country, he is Station
Master at Ravenswood on the Sandhurst line of Railway
he plays the piano very well & we spent the evening very
jollily, he staid all night with us, He left early the
next morning for his own home after purchasing some things
towards the time he commences housekeeping. Saturday
evening I went to see Barry Sullivan in Richard III he
was very fine & the piece was placed upon the stage in
a style unsurpassed in this country, he has a splendid
company playing with him, it is a treat to see he
brings things out grandly, & for doing so he deserves the
patronage he gets - I went to Chapel this morning
Spent the afternoon at home reading, In the evening I met
Louisa Burke as I was going to St Peters Church took a strool
for an hour with her instead, she is very simple & unaffected
& yet shrewd & knowing in a quiet innocent way, on parting
she said very archly. You must come & take me out for a walk
next week I like you, very confiding, but rather a dangerous
confidence to expose herself to too often -
- - - - - - 20th August 1865 Beautiful weather Still busy at the office, getting more accustomed to my work & so is my companion Adamson who is really a nice amiable fellow, very quiet & unassuming in his manners. Been very much annoyed this week in consequence of some misunderstanding
4/199 |
1008
having taken place in reference to Bonaich & Bessie, he
wants to break off the engagement, he gives no reason in a
letter he sent further than he is offended by some remarks
he has heard passed in connection with his engagement
On Wednesday evening I went to his sisters Mrs. Attenborough in St Yarra found no one at home I called at Allens in Collins St on my way home for Mary & Bessie who had been spending the evening there I remained until 11 Pm. The Allens are very nice people, but have been very unfortunate lately having lost nearly every member of their family from death during the last 18 months
On Friday night F.Rooke & myself with Mary & Bessie went to a Grand Volunteer Ball given in the Orderly Room Emerald Hill, it was well & fashionably attended & we succeeded in thoroughly enjoying ourselves we left about 4 am next morning felt anything but jolly next day, fortunately it was a short day being Saturday, so I slept away the afternoon. I dont much care for Balls I like a nice sociable party at a private house where I know everybody. After tea I went out & partly by accident I met L.Burke she said I was a really disagreeable fellow for not seeing her before & had a good mind not to speak to me Etc Etc, good gracious thought I this is coming it strong in my innocent little friend however I took her for a walk about Fitzroy gazing into Shop windows & listening to her piquant remarks on things in general - I rec’d
4/200 |
1009
a note from Mr S.G.King on Thursday inviting me to
spend to day with him, so this morning I went to
the Wesley Church Nt Melb, where I met him, heard
Dare present a most eloquent sermon after which
I went with Mr K to his house Mrs K. & Miss Smith I
found quite well & appeared very glad to see me after an
excellent dinner to which I did ample justice to, we
adjourned into the Drawing Room had some singing &
some spiritual conversation which I discussed with fruit
& other good things - until tea time. We all went to Chapel
in the evening & heard Dare preach an excellent sermon
from the Proverbs, "He who is often reproveth & hardeneth
his neck shall be suddenly cut off" It was a good social
practical sermon & one that I pray I may be profited
by having heard, at its conclusion my friends
pursuaded me to remain the prayermeeting nearly
10 Pm when I left them - & so passed one of the
best, if not the best spent, day in my life. I firmly
believe King & his family are good Christians I was
never in so apparently a happy circle or home as
theres appears to be, true sincerity & enjoyment
unalloyed with all the petty jealousies & grievances
so often met with in families such a kind confiding
spirit seems to procede between them truly delightful to witness
4/201 |
1010
- - - - - - August 27th 1865
Weather very unsettled the days are divided
alternately between sunshine & showers with
more of the latter than is pleasent. Still continues
busy at the office - McCaffray from Bendigo
called upon me, he is down on business. Mrs Hooper
& family & other friends are well Last Monday
I had a jolly spree. I met Louisa Burke going
to a Soiree given by the Roman Catholics in the Orderly
room down Victoria Parade she persuaded me to
accompany her having nothing else to do I agreed
& on payment of 1/- I was admitted into the room found
it crowded with people the lowest riff raff I can ever think
of meeting, it had been raining heavily & the smell
& the fumes from the damp clothes was something
frightful to inhale, it was supposed to be a Soiree
*Dance & most of the people had come prepared to
have a dance, but alas for their hopes of enjoyment
in that respect the place on ordinary occasions
might accommodate about 200 but on this extraordinary
one there was supposed to be 1200 present. A
M.C. called out a Quadrille was to be danced &
it took an hour I am sure to get couples wedged
together before it did commence, & by the
shades of all that's lively! wasnt it fun to see the jigging
& capering indulged in by all classes. (Catholic priests &
laymen, the dirty & clean, rich & poor I should have written)
4/202 |
1011
there were several toasts proposed during the evening the
first being that of the "Blessed Pontiff Pius ?"
which was most enthusiastically received. Then came the
"Queen" which was hardly as warmly responded to as that of
the Pope. I considered it an insult to place his "Holiness"
as he was frequently called before our good Sovereign
I muttered something of my feelings on the subject, but I *soon
smothered them when I heard somebody present allude to me
as an "Orangeman". I should liked to have given him "Lemons"
however I thought I had better hold my tongue, which I did
& made the best of my time. I really enjoyed myself
the noise & novelty Etc all forming such a contrast to any
-thing of the kind I ever witnessed before. Some of the speeches
of the Clergy (R C) were very rich in brogue & racy in wit
I couldnt help being amused by the artful plausible way they
have in working upon the passions of their listeners & how well
they know the characters of those they are addressing, but it was
really sickening to witness the reverence & blind faith
they display towards their pastors - The papers have been very
severe upon the meeting & its promoters, alluding to the affair
as a lot of low rowdy Catholics - I received an invitation
to Harry Dights wedding which took place last Wednesday
23 inst. I could not go to the Ceremony, but I enjoyed
myself pretty well in the evening at his mothers about 30
people were present & we danced in an empty room until
2 am next morning. The person he has married appears to
be well suited for Harry. She is a fine robust healthy handsome
4/203 |
1012
woman, & I have no doubt she will make him a good
wife. She seems to have a strong will of her own & one that
fights hard to have her own way. I feel positive there will
be an eruption between them ere they are married a week –
as to who will be the master in the future. I know nothing
of her, never saw her until the night in question dear me!
it is getting time I thought of getting married. I will
look out for some girl thats merry, for as for
marrying for love I feel that I get up that kind of
sensation now, at least not in its true sense. I
am beginning [to think] that matrimony is nothing but a lottery
you may know a girl for years & would marry her &
know very well, when reflection comes in calm moments, that
the union will not be a happy one. I firmly believe ones
chance of happiness is just as great if he marries the first
girl he meets provided she is virtuous. Last evening I
met Mr & Mrs. Dalrymple & Idalia Rekowski in town, &
we arranged upon going to the Theatre, which we did I
enjoyed my company very much better than I did the Opera of
“Norma” which was never more badly performed in
Melb, after the performance I walked to the station with
my friends, when we parted, after securing a most pressing
invitation to visit them. This morning I went to the
W Chapel Bk St heard a good sermon on the "Mysterious
Ways of Providence" In the afternoon Bessie & I took a
long walk together around Fitzroy Gardens. In the evening
I went to St Peters, came straight home from church.
4/204 |
1013
[Sunday, 3 September 1865]
Sept 2 1865
Beautiful weather during the past week. Very
little of interest to note, read very little, thought less
& acted nothing to any purpose Wednesday evening
Fred Rooke & Will Kelly spent at our house, singing Etc
Thursday evening I took a young lady to the Theatre
to hear the Opera of the “Bohemian Girl” with Beaumont
as Thaddeus, it was a great success, Beaumont fairly
surprising the audience by the manner in which he
sang the music alotted him, he is the best Tenor
the Colony has produced as yet, his voice is of a good
quality, strong & flexible, & he appears to have a fine
physique & I fancy in time when he has had
more experience that he will find very few superiors
either in Europe or elsewhere. I am not alone in
my opinion - Friday evening I went out for a
strool met my little friend Louisa, who joined me
me in my ramble for half an hour, on leaving
her I met an acquaintance & we were together till
10.30 when I got came home, on arriving here
I found a young Scotchman named Robertson, who
had arrived from NZ lately he brought me a letter
of introduction he had from J Hamilton. I felt sorry
that I was not at home to entertain him, he
leaves Melb for Queensland on Monday where he is
engaged to erect an engine & other Mchy, so we
made our adieus. Saturday at noon, as usual,
4/205 |
1014
on leaving business I called at the City Baths
for my weekly ablution, came home, had a good dinner
then read for a couple hours & afterwards took a
walk into town, came home & had tea & went
to town again, met Tom & F.Rooke & we went
together to hear the Opera of “Il Trovatore” enjoyed
it very much - This morning I went to the
Catholic Chapel, Eliz. St & heard some good singing
& witnessed a deal of foolery & idolatry in connection
with the service. In the afternoon I took Miss Main
, a young lady who lives with us, & my sister Bessie
out for a walk to Fitzroy Gardens, being a *S-
day we met a great number of people, after tea
I went to hear the Revd Mr Milliard preach, he chose
for his subject the story of the "Pharisee & the publicans
prayer"
I was very much annoyed one day during the week on entering my office to find a letter a/c to me, from Harrison & written in the Gaol it requested me to visit him & take a copy of Shakespearean works & other books & papers with me also some postage stamps & clean linen, & to get the latter from his sister in law Nt Melb’, I dont know why he should have written to me, for I was not more intimate with him than any of the other clerks several of whom had seen the a/c & knowing it came from Harrison, thought it rather suspicious. The Manager
4/206 |
1015
was in the office at the time & I handed him the letter
I thought it was the best course to adopt so as to avoid
anything like suspicion being cast upon me. Mr. C.
recommended me to obey the dictates of anything like
charitable feeling I could entertain towards the man but
advised me at the same time, not to give him any
encouragement for continuing his solicitations - I called
upon his relation in the evening, showed her his
letter, which after reading she gave vent to such a torrent
of abuse at my impudence in daring to call on his
behalf, the vagabond she said! look here sir, & pulling
forward two dirty miserable little specimens of humanity,
these are his children, by my sister, who is now
in the hospital dying from what some people would
say was consumption but what I know to be a broken
heart, & I am a widow & how hard to myself
& five children without burdening myself with those of
others, but thank God Ive settled them. They are to go to the
Orphan Asylum tomorrow. She would have kept on till
now relating all her griefs & troubles which I must
confess were rather of a character to awaken ones
sympathy - What a lesson Harrison's evil courses
should prove to those who are aware of the sad
consequences of his ill doings -
4/207 |
1016
- - - - - - Sept 10th.1865
Lovely weather during the week. Very slack
at the office, no ships at the Pier. We are
getting New Sheds & Offices erected & the whole
affair at present is in a frightfully condition
There are four of us crowded in a little dark office
so that I shant be sorry when the new one is erected
it is a fortunate thing, in one sense, that we are
so slack. Spent most of my evenings at home
with the exception of Tuesday when I went to hear
the Opera of “Massaniello” . It was the first time
I ever heard it & it pleased me exceedingly, being by
far the best Opera the Lyster Troupe have produced
this season. The music is very light & pretty & the tenor
part seems to have been written for Squires
it suits him so admirably, there is a delicious little
Solo “My Sister Dear” in it & with the exception of
“Beauteous Agnes” from “Fra Diavolo” he has sung nothing
in Melb, for tact & feeling, to equal it. Last evening on
leaving the house I met L Burke I cant go out but
what I dont meet her somehow or another she
always throws herself in my way. I walked to
town with her, where I left her, on parting I met
some fellow clerks of mine & we spent an hour
or two in the "Temple of Pomona" very pleasently
This morning I went out for a walk, met Lizzie Atkinson took a strool together, saw her home
4/208 |
1017
on leaving her, I met my sisters coming from
Church, came home together In the afternon Bessie
& Miss Mayne & I took a walk to Fitzroy Gardens, met
Geo Ramsden who insisted upon us going to see over
the new mansion his father has just built in
Clarendon St, it is a magnificent Villa residence
Italian in its style, & fitted up with every appliance
& luxury that wealth can procure, every room is
beautifully furnished, & with such good taste, which
rather surprised me considering the low vulgar minded
man old Ramsden is, we met Mrs. Ramsden &
Mrs. James at the door on leaving stayd chatting with
them a short time. After arriving home & having tea
I went to Trinity Church Et Melb heard the Revd –
Wollaston preach an awfully dry prosy sermon
at its conclusion I came straight home -
- - - - - - Sept 18, 1865
Another pleasent week as far as the weather is
concerned I have been away from Melbourne
since Saturday morning & only returned home
late on Sunday evening, too late to sit down & continue
my journal, so I postponed doing it until now.
Last Monday evening my sisters & I were
invited to a party at Mr Gotchs house Et M
a most agreeable affair it turned out to be, the host
& hostess who are really very sociable, goodnatured
people doing their utmost to make there company
4/209 |
1018
enjoy themselves & make them feel at home & sociable
we had plenty of singing & dancing & an excellent
supper was provided, plenty of good wines, & fruits &
confectionery with all the delicacies of the season being
provided, to which good things ample justice was done.
to It was early next morning when the party broke
up, our pleasure was somewhat marred by a heavy
shower of rain that fell when we were halfway home
compelling us to seek the friendly shelter of a verandah
for an hour or so - Monday evening on leaving
business I accompanied T.Rooke home to Emerald Hill
& after having dinner with him at his mothers, we
went to a Concert at the Mechanics Institute given by the
Eld Hill Philharmonic Society under the Leadership of a
Mr David Lee a rising musician who has lately come to
the Colony to whom very much praise is due for the
manner in which the Te Deums of [Handel] & the Mozarts
12th. Mass was rendered, the Choruses were the best, I think,
I ever heard. The principal vocalists were Messrs Exon
(who has a nice Tenor voice) Brown & Trowell (Baritones
Mesdames Ross, Bee & Ellis the latter is a beautiful
singer & one that will afford me very much pleasure
to hear again. T.Rooke accompanied me part of
the way home - Thursday & Friday evening I spent
abroad rambling about with one & or another acquaintance
Saturday morning I arose at 5.30 & walked to the Rly
Station, Spencer St took a return ticket for Sandhurst. 35/-
2nd class
4/210 |
1019
started at 15.7 Am reached Ravenswood by m5.10 Am
(12 miles from Bendigo) where I left the train, the principal
object of my journey was to see Mr. Bonaich (who is
Station Master there) in reference to the breaking off from his
engagement with my sister Bessie, the reason of his doing so
being quite a mystery to our family. I insisted upon his giving
me the reason, when the skulking vagabond began by
informing me that his was of a highly sensitive nature & that
he had been shocked by the repetition of a silly joke which
was made at Mrs. Morriss, that so annoyed him as he
thinks it originated from a member of our family. I
am quite ashamed to allude to the subject, it is
so *tempory. In a letter he wrote to my mother when
he proposed for Bessie he said his salary was not
very much but sufficient to plan within the of
society - on my last visit to Mr Griffins at St. Kilda
in talking about the affair, I repeated the remark about
the pale. Mrs G. repeated it again at Mrs Morriss' who
being fond of a joke, made one in reference to the literal
signification, of a Pail & a couple living in one, when
another friend who was present alluded to Diogenes living in a
Tub, but he thought it would be a difficult matter for a
couple like Bonaich & Bessie to live in a Pail (bucket)
Mr. B’s sensitive nature shrivelled up on hearing of this
good humoured joking, on the part of his most intimate friends,
concerning his connection with my sister, & him. I was
not slow in letting him know my opinion of him
4/211 |
1020
& his unmanly conduct, he is a sneaking coward & I
would expose him, only it would place my sister in such
a questionable light, he assumed rather a high tone at first
but seeing me look dangerous & no help nigh (I had
locked the office door, having made up my mind to give him
a good thrashing, or receive one), he changed his tone & became
very meek & humble, promising to apologise by letter to my
sister & family for his contemptible behaviour. I had had
to wait 3 hours before I saw him at his house. I found 3
young ladies there Miss Attenborough & Miss Passmore, from Melb
& Miss MCartney from Bendigo, when I went into the room
I had to introduce myself, soon felt at home, we spent the time
very agreeably singing Etc I left by about 4 Pm, reached
Sandhurst 20 minutes afterwards, went at once to my Cousin
Lizzies, who with her husband appeared very glad to see me
I did not stay long but went into Pall Mall found Ned Rowitt
Cooperage, saw my cousin Harry thumping away at a
Tub he was finishing, he is learning the trade, poor fellow it
is very praiseworthy of him commencing at his age to learn
a trade. I wish I had been so circumspect a few years
back to have done the same, had a long chat about things
& returned together to Lizzies where we found a good tea
provided after discussing it to our bellys content Harry
& I took a strool about the "Mall" met many old friends
& acquaintances, had a look into the Gold Brokers windows
at the display of gold. I am sure there must have been
£25,000 worth at least in one window on View Point
4/212 |
1021
& not much less in one or two other windows, I
noticed a great many fine shops & buildings have been erected
since I left Bendigo What a contrast the neighbourhood presents
to what it did when I first visited it the beginning of 1852
when all around was forest land, & where the town of Sandhurst
now stands, grass grew & kangaroos & possums
lived in all their solitary glory but now one hears nothing
but the busy hum of the human "bee” & the noisy snorting
& whistling of Steam Engines & the eye sickens
as it gazes upon the scene around covered with heaps of
yellow clay & mullock & dirty sludge from the Machines.
While strolling about I met my old friend Lockey Frazer (Bakers Son) he had heard I was on Bendigo & he had left home determined to seek me, he has grown a fine handsome man, he we related our various experiences since last we met. After I left Bendigo he commenced studying for the Ministry of Christ, but after some time he discovered he was not fitted for it & his patron & tutor leaving the neighbourhood, confirmed his intention of giving up the idea, through interest he got a clerkship in the Bk of Victoria, where he is at present engaged wh with every prospect of speedy advancement, he informed that Scott (the old teller in the Bank, an old acquaintance of mine) had just returned from Otago & informed him that he had met my brother Edward some weeks previously on the "Dunstan" where he was at the old game, keeping a Billiard Room, cursed low occupation, I would sooner hear of him sweeping a crossing or blacking boots for a living
4/213 |
1022
I slept at Lizzies & next morning after an early
breakfast I walked over to Long Gully, met Sally Piggott
on the way. I hardly remembered her she has (grown) quite a
nice lady like looking girl, after passing some "banter"
to each other as we used to do in the days of "auld lang
syne" we parted. I had a look into several tents, saw
more strange than familiar faces - very few of the old
hands are left now about the old spot. I saw J.Hall,
Grant, Gibson & a few more whose names figure in some
portion of my old journal. They were all glad to see
me & made quite a fuss & paid me so much deference owing
probably to my having on a black coat, & when we used
to be familiar I wore a blue serge shirt, ah me! how times
are changed! I found Mrs Hooper, good old soul –
expecting me with outstretched arms as if I was some
long lost son of hers, she had a couple of eggs & some
cocoa ready for me, fully expecting I had come out to
breakfast with her. I stayd about 2 hours with her when
Bob came in & we went to California Gully together
visited all the people I know there, hadnt much time
to spare, I took a cab & rode into Sandhurst, called on the
Frazers, spent an hour with them. The old man is much
altered, growing very grissly & Miss F who used to be such
a little fat dumpling has grown tall & stout. Mrs F is the
same quiet nice little woman as of old, in leaving them
I called at Ned Rowitt who since my last visit to
Bendigo married Mary King. I was sorry to find
4/214 |
1023
they had both gone out. I did not call on the Kings
they or some of them tried to make mischief between
Harry Dight & I, by informing that on my last visit
to Sandhurst I spoke most contemptibly of him &
his family, what an absurd idea. They are the last
people in the world I would say anything against
& so very foreign to my nature to disparage anybody.
I returned to Lizzie & made a hasty Tea & a hasty
adieus, several friends accompanied me to the station
left by the 5 Pm train & had a carriage to myself all
the way to town. I fancy I must have fell asleep
on leaving Castlemaine, for I dreamed or fancied I
was walking under a burning sun & carrying a heavy
swag as I have done years ago on the same road
I hope my dreaming may never turn to reality.
I met my Bro’ Fred at the Spencer St Station on my arrival in Melb - walked home together found everything all right. Bessie & my mother are not at all satisfied at the result of my mission they want to have Bonaich exposed, foolish idea to bring the subject before everybody to discuss & make scandel of. Very few are aware of the engagement & I fancy the best plan is not to have any thing more to do with Bonaich. Bessie is only 17 & has not very strong feelings, & I have no doubt, she will cease to think of him in a few days
4/215 |
1024
[Monday, 25 September 1865]
Sept 24 [25] 1865
Lovely weather, summer setting in. Monday
evening I met a young girl that I scraped acquaintance
with somewhere or another, took a walk in Fitzroy
Gardens. I never saw such a place for "couples" in my
life, its a fine fruit garden, as a friend of mine
facetiously remarked, although no fruit bearing trees
Pears (pairs) thrive well in it. Tuesday night
I met Jms Swanson, a young fellow I knock about
with occasionally, tho I dont much care for his
society, we took a long strool together - Wednesday
evening I went home to dinner with Tom Rooke
after which several friends of his dropped in forming
quite a Bachelors party. We spent, the time very
jollily, I leaving them & coming home by the last train
Thursday I went to Richmond with a young man named H.B.Judd who I lent £15 to, I accompanied him to some grocer named W.Winter who endorsed the Bill for the amount. I had dinner at Judds house after which he accompanied me home, & he spent the rest of the evening with me. Friday evening I went to Richmond in company with Fred. Saturday afternoon I spent reading until 4 PM afterwards took a walk into town & back after tea mother & I went to see Mrs Morris, on reaching the house where she lived found it empty, having gone to live at Williamstown a couple of days ago. We were rather disappointed & to
4/216 |
1025
increase of annoyance it came on to rain & blow that
made it a difficult matter to get my mother home
Sunday morning Bessie & I went to the Rly Station to go to Williamstown & see Mrs Morris in reference to the Bonaich affair. The train had just started & not feeling inclined to wait several hours for the next, we returned home. After dinner I went to Emerald Hill called for the Rookes who with myself had been invited to a Sunday party at the Kellys, a R Catholic family we are acquainted with The first thing on entering was to open the piano & bring out cards & Gin about 20 people were present & bent upon enjoyment some taking to whist others to whisling & the rest to music & singing. I never spent such a Sunday before nor do I care if I never spend such another 80 songs were sung by one & another of the company it was after 12 when we broke up I stayed at Rookes all night, & had breakfast with them this morning
On leaving business this evening I went to the Spencer St Rly Station where I met my sister Bessie as per appointment & we went to Williamstown to see Mrs Morris, had our journey for nothing Mrs M having gone out somewhere We were very much disappointed on arriving in town I put Bessie into a cab & sent her home, (Walked home myself, met a few on the way & we took a strool together -
4/217 |
1026
- - - - - - October 1st.1865
Lovely weather. Still continue busy at the office
3 large ships having arrived at our pier during the week
I have been out nearly every evening somewhere or another Last night I accompanied Mother & Mary shopping, our house is like a dressmaking establishment in consequence of the approaching wedding of my sister Mary which is to take place next Tuesday the 3rd inst to Mr. Jn.Jms Clark. I dont take much interest in the affair Clark & I not being on the best of terms we had some words, in reference to his intentions to- -wards my sister some months ago, he had been *coming after now for nearly 5 years & I thought it was high time some understanding was come to, he objected to my interference & several unpleasent epistles passed between us which resulted in producing an estrangement between him & our family, however Mary has met him & I know she is fond of him & so they have come to the determination of getting married, he is so insuff -erably proud & distant that although I admire him his intellectual attainments I do not at all like the prospect of his marrying my darling sister, their natures being so entirely different from each others that I fear it will not prove a happy union. God grant it may be different from what I anticipate & that I have misunderstood him. I am truly sorry there is not a better spirit existing between us, so as
4/218 |
1027
to make things a little more pleasent on the occasion
It falls to my lot to give her away which is not a
pleasent duty to perform under the circumstances. I
have asked Fred to do it, but he is, if possible, is
more prejudiced against him than myself -
I went to St Francis R.C. Chapel this morning & heard the Choir practise Rossinis "Stabat Mater" in a very creditable manner Donaldson singing the “Cyrius Aninum" pretty well tho’ I fancy it was sung in a transposed key. Miss Mayne Bessie & I took a walk in the Fitzroy Gardens this afternoon, came on to rain heavily, had a difficulty in getting home dry, between the showers -
This evening I went to the Wesley Chapel met Miss Burke after the service, & walked home with her she is a dear little girl & appears to be very partial to me I like her too well to ruin her & not well enough to think seriously of her, so I have adopted the plan which is the best I think that of avoiding her as much as possible -
Oct. 8th 1865 Lovely weather but a little too hot, summer setting in in good earnest. Mary, Mother, & I spent the evening of Monday shopping in the neighbourhood Tuesday morning altho’ my dear sister Mary's Wedding, I was obliged to go to the office, I left at 10. am, & on coming home I soon dressed & my
4/219 |
1028
sisters being ready I accompanied them in a
carriage to St Johns Church, Elizth St. We found we
[were)] there rather early. I was glad we were for Mary
was so nervous & excited that it gave her time to
compose herself a little, Clark, coming, accompanied
by his Bro George, who was his best man, the Ceremony
was got through in no time & after receiving the *usual
homily given on such occasions by the clergyman
the Revd - Barlow, the whole party adjourned to our
house, (after the happy couple had received the *congratulations
of numerous friends who I must state, half filled the
church) after partaking of some refreshment Mary &
Clark left us & went to Brighton, where they remained
a few days after they went, his relations remained
about two hours, I was not sorry when they had
gone, for I had been in anything but good spirits
during the time Clark & I were very cool to each other
just civil & that was all I was in one of my
disagreeable moods & could not free myself. I really
felt ashamed of myself at being so unsociable & distant
in my manner In the afternoon Miss Forrester &
Miss Mayne with Bessie & Fred whom I accompanied
took a strool into town, came home & after tea a
number of acquaintances dropped in & we managed
to spend a very jolly evening together it being 2
OC the next morning when we broke up.
Our house seems very dull & quiet since
4/220 |
1029
Mary left us she was the life & soul of it, having
always such a fund of good spirits, the very
piano seems melancholy & disconsolate since her
departure, they were so associated together that
it leads me to ascribe human attributes to the old
instrument. We already miss her cheery laugh
& her playing & singing. God grant that her future
life will be a happy one. I dont feel very
sanguine about it, Clark & her, being of such
opposite dispositions, eventually they may drop
into each others ways, & come to understand each
other better. They returned from Brighton
yesterday & Mary paid us a visit, she was in
fair spirits & seemed more like some madcap
got loose from School than a wife -
Wednesday evening I went out for a strool for a short time. Thursday evening I went to Mrs Watmuffs, Hoddle St & took her some cake, called on H Dight on my way home & spent a couple of hours with him & Mrs D -
Friday I staid at home in the evening - Saturday on leaving business, I called for some portraits of Mary that she had taken a few days before getting married, they are excellent likenesses. This morning & evening I went [to the] Bk.St.Chapel, in the afternoon, Bessie & I went for a walk, met G Ramsden, who came home to tea with us -
4/221 |
1030
127? Johnston St. Fitzroy, October 1865
[1865-10-15] Oct 15th.1865
Beautiful weather. I am getting sick of
keeping a journal. I sit with my pen in my hand
not knowing really at the time what to write about
I am beginning to look upon journal keeping as "Montaigne
did who said it was a pleasent system of confirming one in
egotism. In my “digging” days I always had some
thing or another in the way of a change to notice
but now my existence has dropped into a kind of groove
& here I am in it & heaven only knows when I shall
get out of it. The English Mail arrived in on
time, for a wonder, bringing a short letter from
my father informing us that he has not been well
for some time, suffering from "sciatica". A gentleman of
the name of Grieve called upon me one day this week
he had just come from Dunedin & was enroute
for Gt Britain, he is well acquainted with Mr & Mrs
Hamilton who he informed me were both well when he
left N.Z. On Monday evening I went to Geo. Dodds
wedding, (he is a great friend of H.Dights) a jolly lot
were present & what with eating drinking singing
dancing Etc Etc it was 4 OC next morning when
the party broke up Friday evening Fred & I went
to hear the Christy Minstrels. Herberte sang some
beautiful songs & I was also pleased by the manner
the Company sang some Quartettes Saturday afternoon
on leaving business I went to the Falls Bridge
4/222 |
1031
Yarra Basin where I met Kidgell Saunders & Lennox
the former owns a pretty sailing boat in which we all
embarked. We pulled down the Yarra to the junction of
the Saltwater River when taking advantage of a slant of
wind we hoisted sail & sped up the Saltwater River in
fine style. On reaching Footscray we landed & discussed a
couple of pots of "Shandy Gaff" & again took boat a sail
of 2 miles brought us to the residence of Mr Cameron
an old bachelor gentleman that Kidgell lives with
Mr. C made us very welcome & we sat down to a fine
dinner to which we did ample justice to, our sail & pulling
having increased our appetites to an alarming extent, after
its discussion, we had another discussion of an intellectual
description found my companions to be very intelligent
young men far above the average. Night closed in upon
us when we had finished talking & after tea we took our
boat again & pulled up for a mile or two very slowly, passing
the time away singing, we left the boat at Raleighs Ferry
& then walked to the Moonie Ponds, where we engaged a cab
which conveyed us into town & so passed one of the most
enjoyable days that I have spent in Melbourne the company
& occupation being so congenial to my own taste This
morning, Sunday, I spent reading Victor Hugo “Tour of
the Rhine, I found it very interesting being a compilation
of old legends, stories, reminiscences, recollections Etc in connection
with the Towns villages, Castles & Ruins, visited by the writer -
In the afternoon I took my usual strool to settle my
4/223 |
1032
dinner & gain an appetite for my tea. In the
evening I left home to go to the Nt Melb’ Wesley Church
but meeting Lizzie Atkinson & having a long chat
with her made me late so I went to the Lonsdale St Chapel
& heard the Revd Joseph Dare preach an excellent sermon –
at its termination I met the two Miss Finnegans, Miss Bessie
F I found very much affected in consequence of
of an allusion made in the sermon to the death of her
lover Mr. Gillingham, who was killed a few days ago in
Swanston St by a vehicle knocking him down, it was a
sad accident, he had just left Miss F. & was springing off the
curbing backwards when a Ginger Beer cart coming
round the corner of Collins ran against him, he died shortly
afterwards. I had seen them together but a few minutes before
the accident happened.
- - - - - - - - 22 Oct 1865 Been very hot this week & not feeling well myself the weather has been doubly oppressive to me. I have suffered from a succession of violent headaches, a most unusual thing for me to have, I fancy they have arisen from being too closely confined in the office I am engaged, being very small & badly lighted & there being five & sometimes Six clerks at work in it, my employees are erecting new Sheds & Offices which I trust will not be long before they are finished, being heartily sick of the
4/224 |
1033
inconvenience of our present accommodation
I have spent most of my evenings at home
excepting an hour or so after tea, when I would
take a strool about the neighbourhood.
- - On leaving business yesterday (Saturday) at 12 AM (my usual time) I met my second cousin Alfred Peel who I discovered in such a singular manner on the Manuherikia N.Z. Since meeting him last in Dunedin he has been home to England on a visit to his parents in Halifax & where he got married to a girl he was engaged to, he arrived in Melb by the S.S. Gt Britain three weeks ago, he is thinking of going into the country somewhere & commencing business, when he has disposed of a lot of goods he brought out with him, he came home to dinner with me, but left directly afterward. Bessie & I spent the afternoon at East Melb. playing Croquet with some friends there, after which Bessie went to Mrs *Schwercrofts to tea The rest of the party, myself included, went to Mrs. Saunders to tea & spent an agreeable evening afterward I accompanied some young ladies home to Richmond, nearly 12 when I got home & was very tired. This morning I remained at home
4/225 |
1034
127 or 28 Johnston St. Fitzroy, October 1865
reading Tom Hoods "Miss Kilmansegg & her Golden Leg"
it is a splendidly composed poem being a most withering
satire on Mammon Worship. I think it is the best
of Hoods works that I have read. I read his “*Vere
*Verikers *Vengence” a little while since, it is very
funny & racy but its a class of wit I dont much
care about. Bessie & I took our usual walk this
afternoon In the evening I went to the Brunswick
St Wesley Church heard a long winded discourse it
contained plenty of matter for reflection, were I so
disposed or inclined for receiving it, I fear I am a
terribly hardened wicked sinner good counsel &
what is good, true & holy appear to make no im-
-pression upon my petrified nature, at the conclusion
of the service I met Harry Clark & we rambled
about for an hour or so, we met my sister Mary
& husband John James Clark, but we did not stop
to speak to them
- - - - - - - - Oct 29th.1865
Pleasent weather. I have felt much better this
week than last, expect to get into my new office
next week. Monday evening I went out for a
strool, Tuesday evening on leaving business I
called on Alf Peel. Alf introduced me to his wife
a very nice person. They spent the evening at our
house, they are going to "Sale" Gipps Land where
Alf has purchased a business. I sincerely hope that
4/226 |
1035
127 or 28 Johnston St. Fitzroy, October 1865
he will be prospered, he made me a present of
½ doz volumes of "Elyard Extracts" Wednesday evening
I walked out to Prahran to pay a long promised
visit, to Mr & Mrs. Dalrymple it was a long walk
but I was well repaid by the kind welcome I
received from them & from the pleasure I enjoyed
in their company & that of Mrs. D.s sister Idalia
Rekowski, & Miss Atkinson who were visiting them
I left them earlier than I should have done, but
having to walk home, some 4 miles, necessitated
my leaving earlier than I otherwise would have
done - Saturday afternoon I played Croquet with
the Eglington Club at Et Melbourne, the members
being very agreeable people I enjoyed the game
In the evening I went to the Theatre & heard
the Cristy Minstrels, Their "Tenor" H.Herberte has
a beautiful voice, in fact he is the only one of the
Coy I care about listening to - This morning
(Sunday) I spent reading, In the afternoon [with] my
sister Bessie went out for a walk. In the evening
I went to Nt. Melb. Wlyn Chapel & heard the Revd
Mr. Daniels preach an excellent sermon, at the
conclusion of the service I met Mr S.G.King
& Miss Smith, who induced me to remain to
the prayer meeting, I afterwards accompanied them
home & partook of supper, after which some
more praying - then a long serious conversation
4/227 |
1036
127 or 28 Johnston St. Fitzroy, October 1865
on spiritual matters he exhorted me most
earnestly to become a child of God & give my-
-self up to him, to pray for faith which he
thinks I only need to become a Christian. I
must to a great extent be very callous on the
subject, for I must candidly confess I dont
feel touched as yet, my soul appears to rebel
against my feelings at times but I feel both
are in too passive a state upon that subject
at present, I feel down right wicked at times
when I am a/d upon the question of salvation
& I dont seem to have strength of mind sufficient
to resist my rebellious thoughts - What a different
frame of mind Mr. King has to me, he
so happy confident & joyous as to the future & I
so careless, reckless & hopeless - & yet I pray Oh
Lord incline my heart to what is good, pure &
holy & give me strength to overcome temptation
Melbourne - Novr. 5 1865 Weather has been very hot. Got into our new office last Tuesday, the work appears nothing now that we have more room & conveniences. The office that I call mine is one of four rooms built upon the St Kilda platform, away from the Sheds, making it
4/228 |
1037
much more healthy to be in than the old
one I was formerly in. Business has been rather
slack during the week, partly [due] to the Annual Races
taking place at Flemington & not having many
ships discharging at the pier. Wednesday upon
leaving the office I accompanied Fred Rooke home
had dinner at his mothers, after which I
went with [him] to the “Kellys” spent the evening singing
card playng Etc rather late when we broke up
I can’t say I enjoyed myself. I dont like the
people. Miss K. is the only one of the family
I think is worthy of respect, I fancy my friend
Fred is rather “spoony” upon, she is not a
beauty by any means, but I dare say she possesses
charms which are not beheld by the eye, but speak
to the inner sense. Saturday afternoon Bessie
& I played Croquet at Et Melb. with the usual
set, a nicer nor a more agreeable lot of people
I never met before, it was nearly dark when
we gave up play, Mr. Saunders invited us to tea
at his mothers which invitation we accepted
Old Mrs. S. is an exceedingly nice old lady a highly
educated person & I think a Christian in the true
sense of the word, she is a little wizened looking
woman, very prim & ceremonious, but who can adapt
herself to young peoples ways & manners - her son
4/229 |
1038
127 or 28 Johnston St. Fitzroy, October 1865
James is a fine intelligent young fellow,
with good principles, upright & manly, he
is about 22 years of age I should think, but from
his manner, the correctness of his mind, sound
judgement, & general bearing, he might be mistaken
for 35, I could not help drawing a comparison
between him & the general character of Melbourne
young men. I think he has lived a great deal
at home, & is somewhat tied to his mothers
apron strings, has not mixed much in the
world, very often these characters when they break
through the trammels of home associations, do not
realize the expectations of those who watch their careers
I did not leave home to day until the evening, when I went to hear the Revd. Isaacs New preach or lecture upon the “Pentateuch” the object of his discourse was to refute Colenzo's attack upon the writings of Moses, I never listened to anything finer, he was eloquent & logical, he displayed a comprehensiveness of mind & depth of knowledge I never heard equalled before in the pulpit -
4/230 |
1039
Blank page
no file
4/231 |
4/232 |
4/233 |
1042
[Rear board]
4/234 |
END OF JOURNAL 4
Sources
- ↑ A little confusing, he had always referred to Mrs. Hickey as "Minnie" 'til now, her name was Mary Ann Hooper. The little girl is Eliza Jane Hickey, born about 3rd Feb 1860, died 1869
- Login to edit this profile and add images.
- Private Messages: Send a private message to the Profile Manager. (Best when privacy is an issue.)
- Public Comments: Login to post. (Best for messages specifically directed to those editing this profile. Limit 20 per day.)