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Journal 4

Privacy Level: Open (White)
to after 5 Nov 1865
Location: Melbourne, Victoria, Australiamap
Surname/tag: Dunedin
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J.H. Watmuff Profile
1 1856-05-01 (Bendigo, Dunolly, Sandy Creek (Tarnagulla), Loddon , (Mt. Hope Fiasco), Ararat, Chinamans Flat, Moonlight Flat, Mt William (trek with Bindi guide), Pleasant Creek (Stawell), Melbourne).
2 Bendigo Melbourne 1862 Otago N.Z. (1859-07-17)
3 Otago (1862-09-11)
4 Otago (1863-07-26) to Melbourne 1865
5 Melbourne 1865-11-12
6 Melbourne 1866-03-04
7 Melbourne 1869-03-28
8 Melbourne 1870-06-12 to April 1876
9 Melbourne 1876-06 to 1880-09-07
10 Dribs & Drabs 1881-02-16 to 1882-06
11 Sydney & Misc. 1884
12 Lusitania Voyage 1887-05-27
13 Lusitania Voyage 1887-05-30
14 Lusitania Voyage 1887-06-26
15 Lusitania Voyage 1887-07-01
16 and 17 England, letters and Journal 1887-07-14
18 Garonne return Voyage 1887-09-27
19 Resignations 1888-08-28 to 1892 Nov.
20 (Journal 19) Mildura 1893-05-06
21 Genealogies from 1738 to 1889
22 (Spare)]

J.H. & Bessie Watmuff's Photos
Olive Watmuff's Photos









Journal Kept by John Henry Watmuff Dunedin, (Otago , New Zealand), & Melbourne from July 27th 1863 to [November 5th] 186[5].



Memo [Sunday, 26 July 1863] Dunedin, Otago. N.Z July 27th [26th] 1863

Weather, been very wretched, nothing but rain, mist & fog dirty streets, sloppy walks Etc & many other inconveniences to contend with of a like character, in this glorious place

More changes, since, I last wrote, in my affairs, query, are they for the better. I’ll take the benefit of the doubt & try & think so. Last week finding travelling & canvassing for a printer was anything but a payable game, having only made a few shillings by the orders I received, I accepted an offer from Mr Field the Grocer to travel two days of the week for him. I made my first assay in the Grocery Line this week, furnished with a long list of the stock & the prices attached, a day beforehand. I went into the quiet places & made a monomanic study of my list & when I commenced I was pretty well posted up in the thing & could talk shop like an old hand. Tuesday & Thursdays the days I travelled, the rest of the week I devoted to my other master, the printer, earning from him something like 4/6 over my board which rather dishearted me. I receive 5/. a day from Field & a slight commission so I made about a guinea for the week. I was knocking about during the week & I fell in with an old acquaintance of mine named Waldbeeke, a Frenchman, he had, like myself, been unlucky on the diggens & left them in disgust, came to Dunedin looked for work & couldnt get any, & having some well to do connections in St America "Valpariso" he was determined to go there, more especially as there was a Brig sailing for there to day he & I talked the thing over & seeing little prospect of doing anything here, I agreed to go with him, if we could get a Berth on board, he is a sailor & I have some knowledge of a ship or what I dont know could easily learn, the Capt has been advertising for a Crew so I changed my clothes, on Friday afternoon putting



on my old moleskins & Blue Serge shirt which Id still by me, & we presented ourselves at the shipping office. Walbeeke showed the Captain his last discharge & he was shipped as an Able Seaman. I not having a discharge had to "spin a yarn" how I had made several voyages, so I had, little ones, on the coast, but not having any intention of following up a seafaring life I had neglected to procure mine from the last ship I sailed in "The Sarah & Esther" at length I was shipped as ordinary seaman on Board the Brig "Guatemala" bound for S. America We were to get on board the following morning at Day Break, Walbeeke went on board at once. I going also, but not having my "kit" ready, I left him to go for it, & so all was settled & I was in a fair way of leaving the land of my adoption bent on seeking my fortune in another quarter of the Globe. I was returning home to Watsons for my things & dictating in my mind letters to Mother & my brother Ned when I met Mr Field. I informed him I was leaving Otago & should not be able to travel for him anymore, we had a long conversation together & he was very sorry I was going for I had given him satisfaction during the short time I had worked for him, having been very successful in procuring him the custom of some good families, he at length made me an offer of 30/. per week & my board & lodging which is equal to that sum in Dunedin - I hesitated some time about it, for I knew nothing of the business, & the hours are very long from 7 am to 9 pm & on Saturdays till 11 & 12 pm. however, I came to the conclusion that I had better accept it, for I should pick up a knowledge of the business, which would be a more legitimate thing than anything I am acquainted with & besides, I should also get & acquire business habits which would gradually wean



me from the Monomania I have been this many years I am to commence on my new occupation in the morning (Monday) On parting with Field, I went to Watson & told him was going to leave him, he was very sorry to part with me, for we liked each other & Mrs. & Mr W. had began to look upon me as one of the family. Walbeeke came ashore in the evening to call for me to go on board with him. I informed him of my new projects, & told him to throw the Capt off my scent, if, he would have me, I having signed articles & rendered myself his property, & so we parted, he did what I wished & had the pleasure of seeing the vessel sail away this morning. I longed to be on board & I believe if the ship hadnt sailed so early in the day I should have gone on her. I felt in such an unsettled & uncertain state of mind, arising from the ever craving desire for excitement & change so inherant in ones nature who has long followed a gold diggers life, what a trifling circumstance changes a mans destiny. I was never more struck with the force of the idea than as exemplified in my own case, in connection with the proceeding events I have been relating -

I left Watsons yesterday morning & took up my quarters at Murdocks where I am to lodge, Field not being able to accommodate me in his own house, for some weeks. Saturday afternoon I earned 5/. chopping up a load of wood & doing some little jobs at Haggatts the Solicitor, better than being idle - in the evening I went to the Theatre, saw George Coppin play "Paul Pry" I met a Manuherikia acquaintance, Sargent, who has just come down, tells me the River Molyneux is higher than ever & nearly everybody is leaving it

This morning I went to the Roman Catholic Chapel to witness High Mass, it is the first time I ever witnessed the ceremonies of the Romish Church, which



I must say are very grand especially when accompanied with good music as on this occasion, but however a being possessed with a grain of common sense can be influenced by a religion of such a ritualistic discription surprises me. I observed a priest walking up & down the aisles with a Fire Billy full of water in one hand & an ordinary looking paint brush in the other, which he every now and again put into the water & then sprinkled over the people & it was most absurd to see the way the poor heathens tried to catch the falling drops. I objected to receiving a shower Bath & when he came near where I was sitting I drew my coat over my shirt collar & front to save the starch - Washing is very dear in Dunedin, I paid 9d for my only white shirt to be got up - I went to dinner at Malanders & had tea at Dick Hills where I met H.Dight, after tea took a strool together parted at 8 Pm & made for our respective homes - I forgot to mention I have seen Miss Morley several times during the week Mrs. Watson I fancy has some designs on me with regard to her couzin, who by the by, is one of the loveliest little women I ever met. Tuesday night I was keeping house Mr. & Mrs W. being out & Lizzie called & a pleasent evening we spent together all alone its very hard to keep heartwhole when our affections are not engaged, & being of a susceptible temperament I found it rather hard to keep from getting sentimental I saw her home & the night being dark I had all the romance drenched out of me, by the rain which fell in torrents on my way home wetting me through she lives some two miles from the head of MLaggan St. the road being narrow & running through a very lonely gully & up hill all the way, so much for young ladies, now for bed & another existence in Dreamland -



Dunedin August 2nd 1863

Regular N.Z. weather during the winter months, rain hail frost & snow, no pleasure in being abroad, in fact no one thinks of going out except on business it is a common thing to see a lady walking about, when its fine overhead, as it generally is in the mornings, beautifully dressed, but with a pair of top Boots on her feet & short petticoats coming very little below the knees, & one sees on these occasions such a display of legs & ankles -

I commenced on my new duties last Monday morning. I got on far better than I thought I should half of my time is taken up travelling for orders & soliciting patronage Etc the rest of the time I am kept in the shop assisting the other shopman, a nice young chap Beckingsale, in serving the customers - I often get laughed at by them, by the awkward manner, I have in wrapping up parcels. I cannot get ½ lb of tea & coffee & other things in the papers that are cut for them I always have to take the next size larger & so on - but every body must have a beginning, & I dare say Ill soon be equal for this sort of thing. Field likes me to keep travelling that is what he principally engaged me for. I like the business very well if we had not such infernal long hours. When the days work is over, perhaps after travelling over many miles of country around the hills which surround the town & where the bulk of the population live or reside Im terribly knocked up & am glad to get to my bed. No time for recreation for when we put up our shutters its time to go to bed & not go out visiting, it was 12 pm last night when we closed, which on doing we found Mrs. F had provided a



nice supper for us. I was too tired to enjoy it, received my salary which with the commission amounted to £2 making my situation worth about £3.5.0 per week Field pays 7/. per week for my lodgings at Murdocks -

I am getting uneasy about my brother Ned, not receiving a letter from him for such a time. I suppose poor fellow he is doing nothing & dont like writing until he sees of some chance of getting into something remunerative. I shall send for him to come to town now Im settled, he might get a job here & if not my salary will keep him during the winter months. Things are very dull just now, being the middle of a severe winter There are great numbers in town hanging out waiting for new rushes to break out & in the meantime many are living like the chameleon, on air, or next thing to it there is [not] a quarter of them at work nor is it procurable. I have to put many off I know, who are continually pestering me for the loan of a few shillings. It is very hard to refuse to lend, or give, a man money to procure a meal - but Im often under the necessity of doing so, much against my nature - Harry Dight is working at his trade I often see him This morning we went to hear Dr Burns preach, he is a nephew of the great poet & resembles him in appearance, judging from the portraits I have seen of him, the Dr was partly with the Cargills the Founder of this colony, he is a fine venerable looking old Scotchman & is beloved & respected by all classes here. I saw Jessie Mollison at Church with John Nevin. I believe they are to be married shortly, at last. I did not speak to them but when in Church I was struck by a singular coincidence, one of the psalms



sung, was one Jessie & I used to sing a portion of as duet when we belonged to Mr. Nishs choir on Bendigo years ago. The last Sunday previous to her leaving there we sang it & I have not heard it since until this morning, the congregation didnt seem to know it well & when the Duet part came in, she took up her old part I was sitting two seats behind her & it came at once to my memory, & I let out & the harmony was first rate, at its conclusion she being surprised looked round & we smiled & recognised each other - tho I had not an opportunity of speaking afterwards dare say we shall meet before long - Nevin is exceedingly jealous & never introduces or takes her anywhere where she might meet any one, he fancies she likes

After dinner, I called at Campbells they were out but I found I.Hallowell there, he has just come from Victoria I used to know him well & was very intimate with him on Bendigo, on parting with him I took a walk, being a fine day, up by the Barracks and along the top of the range of hills - the view of the Bay & shipping & the Pacific Ocean in the distance was truly grand - returned at sunset, had tea at a Cafe, went afterwards to Melanders found him out spent the evening with Minnie Crawford who is still living at the Baths & assists in the establishment. I think she is very fond of Charlie, but he does not appear to appreciate her partiality, poor creature, it seems a pity such a pretty goodnatured thing as she is should be deserted by her husband & lead the life she has done. I dont think she is above 20 years of age. I knew her husband years ago in Melbourne & also in Wetherstones, where he was engaged as pianist at DeLora’s & became enamoured with a girl living there, & eventually took her to himself & lived as man & wife, while their acquaintance was forming. Minnie Crawford his wife was on the way from Melbourne to join him



On her arriving here, she staid in some boarding house & not having any money she sent up word to him for to send her some. The only acknowledgement she received was that he had left the place with a girl who passed for his wife, hard up & ill with not a friend & being pretty, temptations soon came in her way & she became what she is, a fallen angel. Charlie has been a good friend to her & tho he says he has never had improper connection with her, but always gives her a home when she wants one

August 9th 1863
Miserable weather, getting more accustomed to my new vocation. I should like it well but for the long hours. I went to the Theatre on Tuesday night saw Clarence Holt in Richelieu Miss Aitken as Julia, it was 9.30 when I got there so I only saw the last three acts. I heard Dr Burns this morning, took a walk about town in the afternoon. Spent the evening at Hills, met H.Dight his job only lasted a few days. I hope he will get into something constant. I have not felt well the last few days, slight attack of fever & ague

August 16th 1863 Been horrible weather, snowing one day, thawing & perhaps raining the next, not half the streets in Dunedin being macadamised the roads & by ways are nearly impassable, our orders we receive for Groceries we have to carry out on our back, our storeman not being able to do the work himself I didnt fancy doing it, but when I saw Field himself starting away with a Basket load I did not



hesitate, being a work of necessity. I have been very unwell with a severe cold & violent headache, if I had a home I would not have gone to work cold feet & dirty muddy clothes & long hours & no rest knocks up a fellow - We cant get a man to stay above a month at at a time, usually leave, worn out, or tired of the job

I received a letter from Fred & another from Bessie, she is very comfortable & happy at Mr Dewars. Freds letter gave me the Blues things at home are not in a prospering state I long & yet dread to hear from Mother. I dont expect to do so until I have written to her & Im not inclined to do so until I have some money to spare to send her Ive made up my mind to leave this colony as soon as I can save a few pounds Stg enough to carry me over, every shilling Ive as yet earned Ive spent in necessaries with very trifling exceptions. I have no clothes fit to stand such inclement weather as we have had, & to procure them will cost me all I earn for some weeks to come - I received a letter from Mr Halley, he informs me Isa King is married to a Mr Lay of Castlemaine. I trust he is worthy of her for I know of no woman more capable of rendering a man happy than Isa. I should feel proud if ever I should get a wife, tho’ she was far from being perfection, there were many things in Isa’s I didnt admire, but to do her justice I never met her equal. Whether I ever shall is questionable - I was fond of her loved her



as any boy ever loved a girl

I was astonished yesterday by my old friends Christy Foyne & Alf Peel paying me a visit. They had just arrived in town from the Manuherikia, having disposed of their business some time back there - but what was my astonisment when they informed me that Jenny Woodhoouse had come to town with them having left a good situation to do so in their company, with the purpose so they stated of seeing me - submit to all the hardships & privations of such a journey. I could not leave my business to go with them but promised to call the next day (today Sunday) on them. I went after breakfast. Jenny was frantic at seeing me, & into [fell] into my arms in the most melodramatic style, I can’t say I was pleased at that sort of thing. We had a long serious conversation together & I gave her to understand I had no notion of living with her, she was very hurt at what she termed my coolness, she has spent all the money she had saved, in her expenses down & buying clothing Etc - she informs me her board is paid for the coming week, & she now intends looking out for a situation - I think I can get her one, I must do what I can for her as its my own folly getting entangled in such a manner I must suffer the consequences. What a silly thing a woman is who lets her passion get the better of her discretion 0' how I could love such a fond devoted woman were she what she ought to be, if I was alone in the world with no one [to] throw discredit by upon my doings I fancy I could make a good woman of her in taking her to myself in spite [of] all the spots & blemishes upon her, she is really beautiful



& some 2 or 3 years younger than myself but lacks a great disserative tact, talent she has, but whats talent without tact, a lovely flower severed from its stem - I wish Id never seen her, when will I ever learn to acquire a little sense -

I went to the theatre on Wednesday night to hear the Celebrated Christy Minstrels who are at present on a Tour round the principal towns in the Australian colonies. I never listened or heard such splendid singing before. I was rather disappointed at their individual voices except the Principal Tenor Stewart, who has the best voice I ever heard but the perfect harmony of their voices in concerted music was something to remember nothing has ever been heard like it in N.Z.

[Sunday, 20 September 1863] Sept 12th 1[20th]863
How time flies. I had given up all idea of continuing a journal any longer, it being nearly five weeks since I wrote last, for on looking over my journal I find there are many portions of my life where Ive been led away by surrounding circumstances into the committal of many errors of judgement & done & been guilty of many acts that does not reflect much credit upon me - Ive had so many vile associations & being away & free from social restrictions I have indulged in excesses of not the highest moral order & find Ive glossed over in my journal many passages of my life that I should have made stand out prominent to serve me as a lesson in the future & to avoid falling into the committal of the same again - my life perhaps



considering the many temptations, & privations & associations will perhaps bear as favourable a comparison to others who have not been so situated as myself who have no excuse in plunging into sin & crime & having kept a journal so long I do not like to destroy it & yet if I keep it, it must ever be a reproach to me - as not containing the whole truth although there is nothing in it that is not so, without even the slightest tinge of colouring - If I do anything Im ashamed about, I dont like to relate it if I want to record anything thats to my credit, I call myself egotist & refrain so it is not so easy to keep a conscientious journal even of ones own life, however now I have started i[t] once more Ill endeavour to keep it for a while longer - I have stated it is five weeks since I last wrote, it is not difficult to recall to memory how my time has been spent, suffice it to state, that for 15 hours a day Im engaged in the Shop, going out for orders returning, making them up, & sending them out to their destinations wet or dry, hail or rain the same thing the same round of monotonous work. Im getting to be quite a smart shopman can tie up a parcel of Tea as well as anyone - I left Murdocks, again, last night. Mrs. F has been confined of a little boy & I am for the future to lodge in the house viz. a stretcher which is brought into the shop when the shutters are up, a most unwholesome bedroom



fragrant with the perfume of cheese & bacon & other highly flavoured edibles. I wonder Field is not ashamed to expect a man to live in such a style I would rather be as I was when I left the shop I could do what I like, but now I must tell him when I go out & he has to sit up for me until I return, he always likes to see every one in bed. Mrs. F. told me all this. I do dislike her she is a nasty cantankerous creature tall & gaunt, with an angels face & a devils heart, so soft & catlike in her mode of speech but so like a tigress when she does not like anyone, she is awfully mean & skinny in her providing for us, she hates me, thinks Ive too great influence over her husband & am far too independant in my manner, she serves in the shop sometimes during Fields absence & it annoys her terribly to see the customers prefer being served by me than her, after they leave the shop she will come & rate me for being too liberal & having too much to say to them & all that sort of thing, which at first annoyed me, now, it amuses me, she tells F. I insult her & he talks to me & I explain & all is right, he knows she would ruin his business if she wasnt stopped, & she has such influence over him that I pity him sometimes for being so henpecked, she gives us oatmeal porridge for breakfast, a little of it is very good but every morning is rather too much & I objected, one day I saw a pan of bacon on the fire, so I went & helped myself to a rasher or two, it had been cooked for



their breakfast & not for the shopmens & she came out in a towering passion & abused me terribly I stood it quietly for a short time eating away, she standing by with the dish in her hand when I rose from my feet & very deliberately helped myself to another rasher from the dish in her hand, she was speechless with range & went into her own room, on Field coming in I told him all about it & gave his notice to leave, he wouldnt hear of it, but he promised his wife should not interfere with me anymore & on that condition, I agreed to remain & he now sees that we have different provisions made for us breakfasts. The other meals we have together They are not very sociable for after the shop is closed, they sit together in a snug little room while I sit in one that is used for dining room & kitchen in company with the servant a little chubby Cornish girl & as ugly as a woman can be, my sight will not permit me to read without using glasses, which I have had to obtain if [I] use them for more than half an hour at a time they make my head ache. I often help Field with his "Books" do all the posting Etc he means to make over the Book Keeping to me shortly, altogether. I shall take fine care I do the work during the day & not after shop hours as he does - What a long dissertation on the shop & my master & "missus" I have received no letter from Ned since I last wrote, but I have heard that he is at present living over the Umbrella Ranges, "Old Man" at a diggins lately discovered called Campbells Crest



& that he & party are at present snowed in along with a number of other parties in the same locality, & that all communication is stopped between there & the Dunstan. I hope to God they have a good stock of provisions. I am & shall be very uneasy about him until I hear of his safety, more especially as I hear nearly every day of parties being lost in the snow there. Many bodies have been discovered of people who have perished having lost their way in snow storms. I wrote to Mr Halley & also to my brother Fred. I cant write to mother until I hear something of Ned. Jenny is still in town. I paid for her two weeks board & lodging at the Geelong Boarding House, until about three weeks ago, she got a situation the other end of the town. I was very glad she got one, knowing the people I know she will be comfortable. I have not been to see her since she entered upon her duties but I have received a note from her nearly every other day. I replied to one, very briefly I hear there is some fellow who is greatly smitten with her & came down from the Dunstan on purpose to push his suit, he wants to marry her. I strongly recommend her to accept him, he knows nothing of her antecedents & thinks she has never been married, owing to my neglect or coolness I think she will accept him I would not be surprised if she does. I must go & see her this evening last Sunday night I went to tea at Hills, spent a jolly evening there flirting with Sarah & another young lady. Met H.Dight poor devil he is out of work again, he is thinking



of going to Queenstown on the Lakes & join his brother Jack & Rowitt. I advise him not to do so until the winter is over say in another 6 weeks. This morning, as per advertisement, I went to witness Grand Mass in the Roman Catholic Chapel, the performance consisting of the usual holy show & the Christy Minstrels being engaged to sing Mozart 12th Mass, the latter part of the entertainment was truly grand & beautiful I shall never forget the treat as long as I live. Stewart the Tenor & Rainford the Bass, with Moloyn being the principal vocalists I have often heard tell of this mass & I have heard some of the music sung before but it failed to excite anything like enthusiasm in me, but to day I could perceive the beauties of this finest of the great composers pieces I had to pay 1/. for admittance, & the place was crowded, even the building outside the walls was hemmed in with people [Sunday, 4 October 1863] Dunedin October 1863
About a fortnight since I continued my journal & to state the truth I have very little inclination to continue it, for my life has so much sameness about it that the continual recital of my present mode of existence makes it a most uninteresting task & another reason is I have so little time to call my own that I begrudge the time it takes to write the little I do. I have often heard people say they haven't much time. I thought it all nonsense, but I now find there are some



in the world who have only time to devote to business & none for pleasure or recreation 'tis very late when we close & having no place where I can be by myself makes my present existence nearly unbearable as to think of improving my mind, thats quite out of the question Ive given up the idea & so vanishes the fairest hope I had in abandoning my hitherto nomadic life. I’ve not read a page of a book or even a newspaper since living with Field I feel I am an exemplification of of the old adage All work & no play makes Jack a dull boy I am getting dull & stupid, cannot con- -verse or dis[ser]tate with half the vigour & force I could when mixing with some of the bright spirits I met & associated with on the Dunstan In my last entry I stated I was going to see Jenny. I did so & found her just married or else living with the person I alluded to, they took handsome furnished lodgings not far from here, tho’ I did not know her whereabouts till last Tuesday when I received a short note from her stating she wished to see me very particularly so after closing the shop I visited her found her in most comfortable quarters she seemed very sad & melancholy & was not well, her reason for wanting to see me was to break to me as she thought, the news of my brother Neds death - she had received a note from some one on the Dunstan & in it was an account of his being lost in the snow storm – it is needless to state how shocked & greived I was, but a reaction took place which compelled my grief as follows before leaving the shop Field gave me a letter, being dark I hadnt observed the writing or opened it, while at



Jennys I did so & found it bearing a later date than hers, in fact it was from Ned, who was alive & well. It appears the two letters I had written to Ned were a/d the P.O. Manuherikia Ned at the time was snowed in Campbells, but his mate managed to get from the place & found his way to the township Ned had requested him to call at the P.O. which he did, & got my letters the man in company with an old friend of mine named Bullock endeavoured to find their way back to Campbells, in doing so, it came on to snow, & night coming on, the[y] lost sight of their land marks & getting bewildered they lost them- -selves among the Umbrella Ranges. Neds mate got knocked up & could not wander further & sat down requesting Bullock to leave him & try & save himself. Bullock states he carried & dragged him for miles, until nearly exhausted he was compelled to leave him to his fate & there on some spot unknown lies poor Nicholas the Dane - I knew him well. Bullock after the most incredible suffering found himself at the *lonely tent of some prospector the following evening, having lost through the frost some of his toes & three fingers, he is now in the Dunstan Hospital, my letters are now in the possession of the dead man - an a/c of the circumstances appeared in the papers since. - Many people on the Dunstan thought it was Ned that was lost for what reason I knew not – & so it came that Jennys correspondant made the mistake & wrote in such a manner. Ned is now on the Dunstan, having made his escape from Campbells one clear day in company with another mate, who was nearly sharing the fate of Nicholas, getting cold & numbed he wanted to fall asleep. Ned had some difficulty he



states in keeping him moving, he thinks Nicholas's body wont be found until the summer sets in & the snow melts off the mountains. Campbells is situated where Nelson & I once went out on a prospecting tour on the occasion of the river Molyneux first rising shortly after our arrival in that neighbourhood Wednesday night after closing the shop I went to see how Jenny was she not being well when I called on her the night before found her very unwell staid all night with her nursing & giving her medicine Etc. she is living alone, her husband, or whoever he is, having left her & gone to the diggins. I think he has left her for good. I am sorry for her for I know it was only in a fit of spleen, that she *accompanyed him & he, knowing she didnt love him left two days afterwards I dont know what she purposes doing, being a good needlewoman I have no doubt she will turn her attention to what she is capable of doing - Enclosed in Neds letter was one from my sister Mary that he had received about a month ago she wishes we were both back again in Victoria, not half so anxiously as we do ourselves for we are not doing anything at present or see any chance of doing so, to tempt us to remain in this province for my own part I cannot send any money to mother, my own expenses & having no clothes & wanting so many little necessaries I am always short of money. I mean to leave this place as soon as I can save up a few pounds to enable me to return home decently. Last Sunday afternoon Tom Downs & Harry Dight & I took a walk, visited several



acquaintances, after which we took a boat & crossed the pretty Bay of Otago landed at the foot of a flight of steps which on ascending led us to a the top of [a] hill, beautifully situated & nearly surrounded by water. The grounds are nicely laid out in some parts & are called the Vauxhall Gardens, a beautiful view is obtained from this place that well repays one for a visit after partaking of some refreshment & having had a pleasent chat with a pretty Barmaid, we returned arrived in town about 8.Pm, called at Jones & had tea there, then rambled about the streets till nearly 11 pm [Sunday, 11 October 1863] Dunedin Oct 12th.[11th] 1863

Lovely weather the fore part of the week – but it came on to rain on Friday & we have had nasty times since. Tuesday & Wednesday I spent very pleasently, being slack in the shop I went to see if I could do anything amongst the Farmers, Tuesday, I went out on the Teire Road & was’nt very successful, the next day I had quite a treat, saddled my horse & with a few samples, I rode out to Andersons Bay, did not stay long there, but pushed on to the "Tomahawk Vally" the road laying along the seaside made it very pleasent, visited a number of Scotch families "Old Identities" as they are called, found them very friendly & hospitable but very difficult to do business with, they have Butter & Eggs to sell & want a good price for them & yet haggle with me concerning the prices of my goods I at length came to terms with them got a lot



of good orders out of them. Friday, I spent in taking them out in the Cart the road was a fearful one & coming on to rain made it worse & my horse jibbing every few yards nearly drove me mad. Wet through, splashed with mud & tired I reached home wishing the Tomahawk Vally & its inhabitants at the North Pole

I wrote to Mother last Sunday & also to Bessie - H.Dight got into a good billet last week but left it to go to a better one some 35 miles from town on the Mungatuha Mountains he intends calling at the new gold field lately discovered on the Teiri River the rush has caused a great sensation in town great numbers have left town for there the reports are very encouraging. I wish Ned was near here so he might go & try his luck at it. I have got the "gold fever" on me a complaint I thought I was cured of, but no! here I am suffering from it & long to shoulder my swag & pick & shovel & have a try, & its only by a great effort I can refrain from following the bent of my inclination in this respect I can scarcely withstand the temptation, if Harry sends me favourable accounts of it I might go. Curse gold digging I say, there is an infatuation about it, nobody can understand but those who followed the occupation. God knows I have known privations & dangers in connection with it that ought to deter any sane man from becoming a gold digger



I wrote to my mother & also to my sister Bessie last Sunday night. I got up early this morning 8.30, for Sabbath Day, took a strool along the sea side, moralising over a copy of Youngs Night Thoughts I had with me, called at a photographer on my way home, & had my "phiz" with all its marks & blemishes conveyed on glass, called to see Jenny in the evening, the said portrait tumbling out of my pocket, she picked it up & nothing would induce her to give it up & so went my 10s/- worth of vanity - [Sunday, 18 October 1863] Oct 17th.[18th] 1863

The weather has been truly wretched all the week & in my situation I get the full benefit of all the miseries attending the same, travelling for orders & then again delivering them, sometimes cannot get within a 1/4 of a mile of the houses & so have to load myself like a patient ass that I am with them on my back, no joke sometimes when I have a Sack of Flour to carry or a Bag of Potatoes Etc. Etc - Wednesday I went to the "Tomahawk" had a fine ride, fell in with a fine *dashing girl on the road, on horseback, she appeared to know me, & the road being lonely I got into conversation & soon became very intimate, she is a daughter of one of my customers & is known in the town & for miles around by the Sobriquet of "Bonnie Annie" (Henderson) she is the best rider the greatest flirt & wildest girl in Otago, not



more than 20 years of age a good bold handsome face & a fine full figure, which figure could be seen to advantage in her riding habit - she told me I had been much spoken about in her neighbourhood & admitted having come out for no other purpose than to meet me, many would have felt flattered by such an admission & I was a little, but her railing I was not prepared for she laughed & chaffed me about my bad horsemanship asked me if I could box & fence *sevens Etc. which I was not modest enough to deny. I seemed to get more into favor & by the time we reached her fathers farm we were as jolly as two lovers, her mother told me she couldnt manage her, all her sweethearts & admirers she drove away by her Amazonian manner - & no wonder - on leaving the place I wanted a kiss & for my pains I was near getting a blow that might have felled an ox I, by a dexterous move succeeded in catching her hand & by screwing her arm round I rendered her powerless & took half a dozen kisses from her, she looked mortified & father & mother were delighted & clapped their hands & praised my pluck & so I left them, having to visit them yes- -terday. I found her spiteful, & having a desire to kiss her I tried it on & it was only after a most severe struggle I got satisfied, having to come into town & her horse being lame she accompanied me in my "Trap" found her very sociable & friendly, told me a lot about the various beaus she’d had & how she had served them Etc, she made me laugh about one she *scared named Dodd, Andrew Smiths master who is at present in England, he courted her for five years & as a last resource adopted an old



ancient poets (Oved) advice flew to tears thinking with them to melt her stony heart. This so disgusted her she threatened to horse whip him if he ever apd her again & so the poor gentleman left the colony & I hear he has found a wife since his absence & is on his way out with her it would fill volumes were I to write down all she told me & all I heard about this girl & her pranks There is some beautiful scenery along the road & she made me stop at many turnings wherever a good view could be obtained - it was not very nice after such a pleasent drive to have to turn to & go behind the counter & dole out parcels of groceries till 12 pm, but there is nothing like mixing the sweets & bitters together & take the pleasure & pain as philosophically as possible, in this world, for taking our lives throughout I think were we to keep a record of all our pleasures & pains the majority of mankind would find that more of the former falls to our share than the latter, but we are so fond of nursing our sorrows & afflictions & making more of them than they deserve that is the cause of much of mans repining. Pleasures we take as a matter of course & think we [are] justly entitled to all we can get, & we never think of putting them in view of the reverse & strike a balance - I received a long letter from H.Dight, he is comfortably settled in his new situation & is hard at work erecting a Store or Hotel, he informs me the



Rush at Tieri is not much a/c, he found very few doing well, but saw great numbers walking about idle on the whole he winds up by stating, I had better remain where I am than venture on gold digging in that quarter until something better breaks out

Novr.22nd 1863 A Month & more since I continued my journal my reason, I had no time, or when I had, had not the desire, & so I make excuses for the occasion but having kept a journal so many years I feel that I am neglecting a necessary duty by not continuing it, such is the power of habit. The duty is not always a pleasent one, for on referring back it brings to my mind many unpleasent reminiscences of the by gones. My object in first comencing a diary was with the desire to improve myself mentally & I believe nothing has tended to do so more than this very thing & I would advise anyone who has not secured the advantages arising from a regular education when young, to adopt a similar plan. Nothing like writing much tends to improve one in their Caligraphy & Orthography far more in my opinion than reading - I have met many people who could converse well & some who could get upon a platform & deliver a good Lecture or address & are not able to sit down & write & dicate a letter that would bear inspection. But leave reflections & turn my attention to my duty & note down in some degree how time has passed or how I have passed my



share of it since I last wrote, I am still at Fields the Grocers, George St. Shopman, Traveller & Bookkeeper alternately, working away like a poor drudge, longer hours than ever. I may state in reference to long hours I have done my utmost in endeavouring to get an Early Closing Movement. I could get plenty of sypathisers amongst my fellow sufferers, but not enough working even to get up a Committee to organise the thing, so I have given it up in dispair having fully resolved to leave the town of Dunedin with those who are satisfied with their lot in it, to their fate - I have heard no- -thing from Ned direct, last week I got a note from Procter informing me he & Fowler were working together on the Manuherikia, he states my brother Ned had left the Molyneaux & had gone up to "Foxes" to see Nelson & ascertain if there was anything to be done in that locality I hope poor fellow he will not come to grief but that he may be fortunate to drop into something that will repay him for all his late illuck. I wrote to him addressing the letter to Queenstown - I wish he was in town near me. I have saved about £10.0.0 & in a short time I hope to have sufficient money to take us both out of this infernal country I received a long letter from Bessie, she is still with Mrs. Dewer at Echuca, but from the tenor of her diction I should infer she was getting dissatisfied, & feels she is trespassing



on her kind friends good nature too much - to such a degree that she is on the lookout for a situation as a Nursing Governess Poor girl I am sorry she is so situated as to have to do anything of the kind at her age. I cannot bear to think of it, it drives me mad to think I or her brothers & not in a position to keep her from having to take such a recourse for a living, to fill up my cup of misery I recd a long letter from my Mother, full of troubles she is greatly in debt & is afraid of an execution being put in the house. My sister Mary is very unwell & her little school in consequence, is falling away. Ive pondered well whether to send what money I have to her, but after serious consideration I have come to the conclusion it is better to keep it until I hear from Ned whether he is agreeable to leave with me, if he is not, I shall return to Victoria alone

Jenny has been living in town at the same place until within the last fortnight. I went to see her often, she has recovered from her illness & looked as beautiful as ever, the person who I thought she married, proves to be some friend of hers who had known her for a long time & being under compliment to her was very kind & left her some money, he wants to marry her, but she does not like him well enough for that, however on his leaving Dunedin he went to the Dunstan & managed to get her a good situation there she left her. We had another affectionate parting, which I sincerely hope will be



the last of the series, she gave me a silver hunting watch before going to keep as a memento & so we parted good friends & thoroughly understanding each other & the line of conduct we are to pursue toward each other for the future, if I never see her again I will always think of her as the kindest, best natured, & the most self sacrificing being I ever met, all she wanted from me was to live ever near me & be, as she often & in my opinion very foolishly remarked become my ministering angel Etc I know & feel I shall never meet another woman so devoted & sincere in an attachment for me - I got a note from her a few days since informing me of her safe arrival & enclosed in it was £2.0.0 money I had lent her, or given it, for I never expected it back again & had she been in town I would not have taken it from her, for Ned informed that many times he had gone into Foynes Restaurant hungry & had no money or if he had could ill spare it, & had his meals & she being waitress there would never take money from him, knowing how he was circumstanced & she had to pay it out of her own pocket sometimes, & any friends of mine who happened to be "hard up" she would always give them a meal out of regard for me - I have seen several old acquaintances lately, J.Falder, Fawcett, Wright, & others, they have been very unlucky lately & purpose returning to Victoria. I was greatly surprised



on Saturday last by seeing Frank Perring come into the shop. I thought it was a ghost for I had heard he was lost in the snow & a body had been recovered resembling him so much that several identified it as his cor[p]se - Poor fellow when I saw him first footsore & weary he was a fine manly handsome fellow, fatigue & hardship attending life as a gold digger in a severe climate like this has done its work. Poor, thin, worn out & emaciated he came to ask me for a few shillings to carry him to Waikouitti where he hopes to get a job to help to execute the new pier at present being formed there, about 50 miles up the coast from here. I gave him all the money I could spare & also some few necessaries out of the store, he told me on parting he knows of the existence of a rich gully somewhere in the Umbrella Ranges, but he cant get there or at it for some months to come until the snow clears away, he intends on his return to let me know & we may go & work it together he must have some foundation for his belief for he is the last man I know capable of telling me a falsehood or misleading one in anyway - another surprise I had far exceeding & more agreeable than the previous one, I have experienced, about a month ago, I was taking out a load of groceries contained in a Basket which I had on my head, it was a wet dark stormy night & nearly 10 pm - when a man accosted me



by asking if I knew where Mr Fields shop was. I told him I could show him the place – which I did not being far from it at the time he then asked me if I new J.H. Watmuff who was living there. I was sure I did & looking into the face of my friend who had commenced to laugh most immodestly. I discovered him to be my dear old friend, J.Hamilton who had landed that same day from a ship from Glasgow & having fell in with A.Smith late in the evening had learned from him where I was living & had at once posted down to see me, rather singular that he should drop upon me at such a time we were very glad to see each other & it wasnt long before I visited him & his wife & family at their lodgings, it is nearly three years since he left Victoria for Scotland where he has been located ever since, but his business not being remunerative enough & longing to visit Australia again, he gave it up & came out to this colony induced by the reports of the gold discoveries & the hope of making a fortune, like everybody else, he is trying to get into a situation of some kind. I hope he may succeed, for it must be a source of great anxiety to his mind, being unemployed with a wife & two children & not possessed of much money. I have been to see them very often.



Mrs H. has greatly impoved during her absence not only in appearance but in her manner she is really a pretty ladylike woman & having mixed in better society at home than she did in Australia has tended to their improvement - I have seen Bonnie Annie pretty often lately & have carried on a most violent flirtation with her, not of the most creditable description either, she is as wild as ever, cares for no one, & is reckless of consequences, full of romance & passion – & yet with all a little matter of fact. I one night went to their place after leaving business & walked the distance, 7 miles after 9 P.m. & stayed with her till near 1 am. I know it was nearly daylight when I got home, & not being able to get inside the house, I climbed over the fence & slept in the stable until it was time to resume business I have been twice to the Theatre since I last wrote, on one occasion to see Julia Mathews, on the Prince of Wales Birthday which was observed by many as a fete day -

I wrote to Mother & also to Fred about a week ago - The weather has been fearfully cold, wet & miserable lately

[Sunday, 6 December 1863] December 4th [6th] 1863 Three weeks since I continued my journal I never was so indifferent to continuing it than I have felt the past four months I cannot help it. I have to work so hard & such long hours & that I have no time



or when I have, I have no inclination for when I have any leisure, I generally feel a craving for some excitement to work off the morbid feelings engendered by my occupation. I have been very ill during the last fortnight the weather being so severe & continually abroad & getting so often wet through & hanging about in wet clothes, & having very uncomfortable quarters to live & sleep in, brought on a severe cold accompanied with ague. I bore up as long as possible, but at length had to give up work, but having no bedroom, but the shop, I had to turn out. I laid down one day on the hay in the Stable & feeling worse, I dragged myself into the street (Mrs. Field having informed me she could not do with sick people about the place,) having with difficulty dressed myself, I went to the George Hotel & got a bed, but could not sleep for pain In the morning I went forth & reached A.Smiths shop & he made me up some physics & told me to get home & keep my bed. On leaving his place I felt such a sense of loneliness as I never before experienced I felt I would sooner have died in the streets than go to any of my acquaintances in such



a state & become a burden to them. I crawled about feeling so weak & ill that I had not energy enough to form an idea what to do with myself - while in this state I met Hamilton I had not seen him for some days & he was not aware I was so ill, he insisted upon me going home with him to his house – which I did, a bed was soon prepared & I was got into a persperation which I firmly believe saved my life & with his & Mrs. H. kind nursing & care I soon recovered I lived with them several days, they are living about 1½ miles out of town, in a Cottage beautifully situated on a sideline on the Valley of the Water of Leith. I pray God may bless & reward them for their kindness to me. Poor Jim is still unemployed & his means are getting very reduced, & he is very low spirited. I hope something may turn up in his favour I am still very weak, but I intend resuming my work in the morning, but I am sure I will never take such an interest in the business again while with Field as I have done. I can never forget their unnatural behaviour towards me as long as I live I think Field is sorry for he has been very kind & tried to make up for his wifes hard – -heartedness by many little actions, for the



fortnight I was away, he only stopped one weeks salary, even that with my physic & other matters makes the loss in a pecuniary sense of my illness a serious matter, however I feel thankful to providence for his kindness in so soon again restoring me to health & vigour

I was looking over the paper containing a list of unclaimed letters & saw my name advertised I made application at the P.O. & found no less than three there for me from H.Vickerman written in the Hospital Bendigo, where he has been confined for some time, owing to his lame leg having broken out again poor fellow he will think it very cruel of me not having answered them. I wrote to him immediately & explained to him how it was I did not receive his letters ere now. My letters are always a/d to Fields & he must have forgotten the address Lizzie is living with some Doctors family in Sandhurst & is very comfortable. Uncle Charles has left Bendigo for Adelaide having deserted his children in my opinion in a shameful manner (Harry in the Hospital & Lizzie in service, I am surprised at his want of affection, for his children are well worthy of all he could bestow upon them I met Dave Hazlett & Pickett last night, they had just come down from the diggins having lost nearly all they made up there before. We went to the Theatre together saw Julia Mathews & Clarence



Holt in Belphegor the Mountebank, after the performance, being too late to go to Hamiltons I accompanied them to their tent which they had pitched in the Scrub, near the Cemetery by the Robin Hood Hotel, & stayd with them all night, rather novel to me after living the last few months in a house. After having breakfast with them, I came to the Shop & dressed myself Dave & I took a strool, met Mr & Mrs Hamilton going to Church, but being late, we all went visiting called upon several acquaintances & parted about dinner time. After dining Dave & I called for A.Smith & we took a long walk, being a lovely day we enjoyed [ourselves.] The scenery around Dunedin is beautiful & I never remember viewing it to such advantage as I did then. We called at Dumas’ on our road they are a family we knew on Bendigo very nice people, they insisted upon us staying tea which we did & afterwards we all went together to the Wesley Church Bell Hill & heard the Revd. Mr. Harding preach an excellent sermon delivered especially for the benefit of young men & one I shall not forget in a hurry. We parted & went to our several homes after the service was over

[Sunday, 13 December 1863] Decr.12th.[13th]1863 Quite a sudden change in the weather, the last few days not a drop of rain having fell quite a treat to see nice clean streets - My time spent much as usual, rise in the morning at 6.30 open the shop at sharp 7 am close at 9.30 in the evening, so I have no time for



pleasure or recreation, always in the shop or else out for orders and delivering the same never go anywhere for a change, & never keep or go into company. The pleasentest part of my occupation is travelling. I have a fine horse to ride & all my customers in the country are always very glad to see me & make quite a fuss of me, of course, I get myself well posted up in local news so I am looked upon as quite an oracle by a lot of these simple Scotch farming folks, in fine weather this travelling is delightful, but in wet weather, horrible, the country being so rough & hilly especially about the penninsula in the neighbourhood of the Tomahawk The land there is cut up in small blocks of about 20 acres, & being densely timbered to a stranger appears a cold uninhabited district & one is astonished to find buried in such a forest such a number of little homesteads. They cultivate a few acres, keep a few cows have poultry & what with hard work, & not having many wants they appear to be the happiest mortals in existence, most of these Scotch settlers come from the far North of Scotland brought up hardy, frugal & simple, they are perfectly happy, & appear contented but can mortal want more on this earth Sunday is the day I enjoy. This morning I went to hear a popular preacher who has lately settled in Dunedin, named Connebee. I liked him



exceedingly so much so that I also went to hear him this evening. In the afternoon, I saddled my horse & rode out to Andersons Bay, waded through the water to the foot of a pathway which led into Vauxhall Gardens where I found a great number of people enjoying themselves. The Gardens are beautifully & romantically situated on a high piece of ground thickly wooded & nearly entirely surrounded by the waters of the pretty Bay of Otago. These grounds are the only ones ornamented & laid out for pleasure in the province The usual mode of arriving at them is by taking a Boat at the Jetty & sail across, & a lovely sail of two miles it is, on a fine day, it is fully 5 miles from here by land the scenery is really charming & well repays the labour of a visit refreshments are to be procured & another attraction are the very pretty barmaids there, night is the time to see them to perfection there is a dancing pavillion erected & a good Band is engaged, about twice aweek & then is the time for fun. After leaving Chapel this evening I joined a party of friends & we took a walk for an hour or so, along the road which runs along the top of the hills which surround Dunedin being a nice mild moonlight night & the company pleasent I enjoyed myself very well - but to come home to such a cursed place as I am living in is horrible, my home is under the counter in the shop -



[Sunday, 20 December 1863] Decr.19th.[20th] 1863 We have had lovely weather during the past week with the exception of one wet day, Friday, Time slipped by as usual, working hard but little time for pleasure or recreation, except on Thursday St Andrews Day, which was observed by the Scotch as a Fast Day, & out of respect to them nearly every body else made a holiday of it, few I think fasted, but every one appeared bent on enjoyment & pleasure - We closed the shop about 10 Am when I left it determined to enjoy myself for once. I met pretty Liz Morley & took a walk with her to the wharf where we met her Father waiting for her in a boat to take her home, they wanted me to go home with them, but I couldnt see - a long pull down to the Heads, where they live, & *see *any chance of getting back the next day so I was forced to decline, on bidding them adieu, I met John Nevin & his wife Jessie, they were uncertain what to do with themselves for the day, so we agreed to take a boat & have a sail on the Bay, we soon put this proposal into execution & we were soon sailing along in gallant style *we made for the Gardens, arrived there at dinner time & after refreshing ourselves with the good things that were to be procured for love & money we rambled about the peninsula admiring the charming & romantic scenery of that neighbourhood I never felt so lighthearted & happy. I was more like a child than anything else. Id run & bound & sing & shout, roll on the grass, climb trees, quote from my



favorite authors & conducted myself in other forms of insanity, at length tired out we returned to our boat & returned across the Bay. I accompanied my friends home & had tea with them, & staid till nearly 10 pm at their house talking over old times & laughing over the little jealousies that once affected each of us John & Jessie appear to love each other & are very happy I hope they will long continue to be so united, on leaving them I went to the Theatre, just in time to see the Burlesque of Cinderella, Julia Mathews as usual being the life & soul of the pieces, she sang & danced & appeared more piquant & irresistible than ever - I met old friends there, Hazlett & Pickett & my old mate Joe Russell who has just come down for a few days from Wetherstones, where he had been located ever since I left him to go to the Dunstan, he tells me he has done well & at present possesses a claim that he employs about a dozen men to work he offered me ₤4.0.0 per week to go up with him & help to work it for him. I wont go to the diggins again for any consideration, more especially as I have come to the determination of leaving this colony & return to Victoria in about a fortnights time when If all goes well I shall have about ₤15. by me, enough to see me home how Ill fare when I do get home, Ile leave to the circumstances I spent the night, I met my friends, at their tent on the hills, slept as sound on the floor as if I was on a feather bed. I have heard nothing from my brother Ned since I last wrote. I think it very cruel he has not written to me lately.



Decr.27th.1863 Being my last week In this Colony the fates have determined to make things everywhere bear their pleasentest aspect, so that I may leave it with favourable impressions. Weather beautiful - friends & acquaintances agreeable & pleasent, my mentor more than usually kind offered to increase my salary if I would remain, but no, my mind is made up, no Israelite in the wilderness ever yearned to leave it for fair Canaen as I do to leave this country for sunny Australia what with the hardships & misfortunes I endured on the diggins, the long weary trying hours of my occupation as a grocers traveller & assistant in Dunedin as tended to so disgust me with all & everything connected with the province, that if ever I arrive in Victoria I shall always think & look back with the most intense disgust at the place where two of the best years of my life have been wasted, my constitution & spirits in a great measure being broken & all for nothing the little glimpses of pleasure I have had have been of a very questionable character & can only be considered such through contrast with the misery I have endured. This being Christmas week has been a very busy one for us in the shop working every day from 6a.m till 11Pm. & last night Saturday, it was 12 before we closed the shop & 1 ere I sank to rest, dead beat & tired, to my bed



under the counter in the shop the air pregnant with the odour of cheese & bacon & sundry other things of an odouriferous nature not pleasent to my olfaction or tending to improve one’s health, however it was my last night, & use being second nature I have begun to get accumstomed to my quarters & was not long before I was oblivious to odours, counters shops & everything else connected with this material world - Friday the 25th. being Christmas Day it was observed as a holiday, tho’ by the majority of the inhabitants of Dunedin who are Scotch it was not looked upon as half such a holy day as their patron, Saint Andrews, day, however Mr Field shut up, for a wonder, & I was let at liberty. I felt like the prisoner of Chalms who after getting his liberty after being incarcerated for years, his friends & relatives being dead & gone, he longed to return to his prison, so with me. I wouldnt have cared to have kept the shop open all day. I went to see Hamilton early in the morning & prevailed upon him to spend the day with me, to which he agreed he dressed himself in his "kilt" & we walked thru’ the town until arriving at the Tomahawk Valley Road *where we made up our mind to go out & spend the day with the Henderson girls, being a lovely day & the roads clean, for a wonder, we enjoyed our walk the road for about a mile is perfectly level, when



it begins to get hilly but passing through a well cultivated country till arriving at Andersons Bay at the head of which is situated a pleasent looking little Hamlet. After a further walk of half anhour from this brought us to the sea beach at a point where the sea runs inland into a basin around which is many a happy looking little farm & homestead, romantically situated, the road from there is very heavy travelling being knee deep in sand however we soon got into a better road & I should state better land, for the road there is none, the ground being densely timbered & difficult & expensive to clear, about the first patch is situated the farm of the Hendersons on a slope of a hill looking towards the sea, they made us very welcome & regaled us with scones & milk & strawberries & cream, we kissed the old women but the girls came in for a double share of them soon got at home with the family after we had refreshed ourselves the two Miss Hs Jim & I started out to see the lions of the neighbourhood, they showed us the best scenery took us into Caves & Grottoes waded barefooted through creeks & in the sea where our path led us there rolled down sand hills romped & were as merry as a pack of children & we enjoyed ourselves as men can only do with buxom country



Scotch lasses. I stuck to Annie all day while Jim took charge of the quiet girl, who I found as full of fun but not as reckless as Annie - Annie & I got sentimental & on hearing I was going to Melb’ she got quite spooney. I was a little soft myself, & I dare say there are few men who could resist the attractions of such a creature, bold, hot, reckless & passionate, pretty, a good figure, with no control over her emotions, renders her very irresistable to a man anyway susceptible to female charms, it was nearly sundown when we arrived back at their house, had tea with them & made a most affectionate adieu, Annie walked a mile or two on the road with me, when we parted, as is usual on such occasions, with thrilling kisses & fond embraces on both sides, & so ended our amour, not the first on her part & I hope not the last on mine though I hope the next fair being Im so situated with will be mine for ever. Jim & I trudged on quietly for some time when he commenced laughing over our days sport I soon caught the spirit & joined him & ere long I soon shook off whatever melancholy I had about me, at Andersons Bay we turned off the road & went into Vauxhall Gardens



found great numbers there who had been enjoying themselves all day. We found a boat here & a smart breeze blowing, soon wafted us over the Bay to Dunedin, being tired, on landing we went to the Persian Cafe, found my pretty friend duly installed there (Minnie Crawford) as head waitress & evidently in her proper sphere - she was very kind & soon provided us some refreshment which after partaking with a long chat with her we left each for his home at about 10.30 Pm & so passed, without exception, the pleasentest day Ive spent in N.Z. Harry Dight & Tom Downs hearing I intended leaving Dunedin came to town yesterday to see me off, we were very glad to see each other tho’ our interview was very short I being very busy. I also received a letter from Ned Rowitt from Queenstown (on the Lakes) where he & J. Dight are working at present, he informed me my brother had been up there with them, had met Nelson & he had got ₤14 from him in consideration of the two shares in the horse we purchased when we were mates together. I was glad to hear that affair was settled, after receiving the money my brother Ned left them & tramped the road to Invercargil (province of Southland) & Rowitt further informed me that he had succeeded in gaining employment



in a Ginger Beer Factory & was getting good wages & what was pleasenter to me hear that he had renounced all ideas of ever visiting the gold diggins again. I do hope, he will remain steady & adhere to his resolution.- I bade Mr. & Mrs. Field adieu this morning, the former I shall always esteem & think well of but the latter is the most despicable creature I ever came in contact with & shall ever remember her with abhorrance - my fellow shopman Beckingsale was very sorry at my leaving, he is a nice fellow very honest & upright & one who will succeed in the world & will do honour to any position he may rise to, on leaving the shop I went at the invitation of Mrs. Greenwood to spend the rest of my time at her house, which I have done & will sleep to night here, with Harry Dight who always lives with Mrs. G when in town she is a dear good old soul so disinterestedly affectionate & kind, she has no children of her own, & so feels a pleasure in looking after the welfare of other peoples, when in need of assistance I wish I could pay her a fitting tribute of respect & the esteem I hold her in with my pen in these pages, I can never forget her, for I never met her equal as a noble minded woman, in a humble way one of those creatures Dickens would have



made a true character of, a kind of pattern & type of a rare class, whose name would have become a household word, may God bless & prolong her life & may she never know the taste of sorrow. I went out for a short time this afternoon & visited a number of friends & acquantances to all of whom I made my adieus, spent a couple of hours at Hamiltons, who is very much cut up at my leaving. I was glad to hear Jim has at length got into a good Govt. Billet at a good salary & likely to be a permanency. I forgot to state I saw Annie Henderson yesterday while on business in the town, she went & had her likeness taken which she sent me today rather strange for a girl of her fickle nature to do. Ill be bound in a weeks time she will forget there is such a being in existence as myself

Mrs. G wishes to know how much longer I am going to keep her up writing my Journel & putting down all my notes on human natur[e] my bed is ready & a neat one it is, clean sheets with a white counterpane, such a bed as I have not slept in for many a long day - I wont have such a pleasent one tomorrow night -



[Monday, 4th January 1864] Jany 3st 1864 / On Board the S.S. "Alhambra" bound for Melbourne - On the morning of 28th.Decr.. I *packed up my things & took my passage, paying £5.0.0 for it & that only in the Steerage, at 2 Pm in company with Andrew Smith (who has left his situation & is now with me enroute for Victoria) & Harry Dight we went on board a small Steamboat which conveyed us to Port Chalmers where we found the Alhambra all ready for sea, before leaving the pier Hazlitt, Picket & Downs & Hamilton came to see me off. I dont think I was so affected in my life, the last eye I met was Jims & I could see it glisten with moisture, I gazed long after them, & thought for the time of nothing else but them, but there is an end to everything & I saw my friends no more, I then had time to look around at the lovely scenery surrounding the Bay of Otago an hours sail brought us at length to Port Chalmers when our little steamer give us its freight of human cargo, a wild rough looking lot of diggers who lost no time in choosing their berths, many a fight & many hard words were indulged in before every- -one was suited. Harry stayd with me for about an hour until our anchor was weighed when he was obliged to return & we parted. The afternoon was very dark & gloomy & it was with the greatest difficulty we got outside the Heads before dark nearly all the passengers were seasick & had taken to their Bunks. Andrew Smith & I stuck on deck



although the sea was breaking over us very heavily - I had got an idea into my head that seasickness was in a great measure nothing but affectation & *it might be avoided by resistance, however, I discovered it was no such thing for after pacing the deck some hours we were driven at length to the side of the vessel & there, oh heavens! to disgorge we were very quiet after this & continued our walk but had to succumb at last through sheer weariness & then again & again my belly rebelled against my head, so after taking a stiff glass of Bdy I sought my Bunk in the Hold, a dirty hole it was, but I felt so bad, I could have crept into a dog kennel if nothing better turned up. I slept pretty sound & rose next morning about 7 pm & came on deck the sea looking frightfully wild & rough, the sky dark & angry with not a glimpse of sunshine & to make things worse I was lamentably seasick about 6 pm we reached Bluff Harbour, the Port of Southland, whose capital & only town is Invercargill situated on a plain sound 20 miles from the Bluff here we cast anchor & landed mail & passengers & embarked ditto for Victoria, it was with the greatest difficulty we did this without accident the sea being so rough & the wind so high, by 8.30 Pm we up anchor & left this dangerous place which appeared to me like an open roadstead with no shelter from the strong S.W. gales nearly always blowing there - I would willingly have



remained a couple of days, here so I might have gone & seen my brother Ned at Invercargil Nothing occurred after leaving there to break the monotomy of our lives for the next 3 days having fine weather, but head winds, no land or sail to be seen, tho I may mention that the morn of the 31th. was densely foggy & the sound of the fog horn bellowing through the gloom every 1/4 hour produced a strange sensation - before reaching Swan Island, (a very memorable place to me) we overhauled the Ship "Champion of the Seas" she left Port Chalmers 8 days before us & had had very rough weather, we hailed her but soon left her behind, nothing like a Steamer to sail in I will never sail in anything but one if I can help it, wind nor tide ever puts them off their course, our Capt., J.McLean, or better known by the patronomic of "Hell Fire Jack" the name he gained when he sailed the Aldinga a boat that used to make extraordinary trips from Vict to N.Z. is a fine fellow. The 1st & 2nd Engineers are nice fellows I got very intimate with them, they are both good singers & it is quite a treat to listen to them they very kindly lent me Books to read. We have made very little headway the last two days, the wind being dead ahead. We hope to reach Port Phillip Heads tonight (Monday) the light at Cape Schank I hear is to be seen through the glass - Tuesday morning (4th) entered the heads about 10 Am. the day frightfully hot, reminding



me forcibly Im not in N.Z it took us four hours to reach the Hobsons Bay Railway Pier where we landed - & taking the train was soon in Melbourne a cab brought me home. I had not heard from home for a long time & did not know whether my family lived here or no, however I knocked & was soon had my doubts cleared away by being embraced by my dear mother, no language can discribe the feelings I enjoyed at once more beholding those who are so dear to me. I found my mother pretty well in health, but very much altered, getting grey & very old looking, my sister Mary is well & not much altered. Fred the same as ever. Bessie is still at Echuca with Mrs Dewar

[Sunday, 10 January 1864] Jany 11th.[10th] 1864 Weather has been very hot, making it rather trying to one having come from such a cold country as N.Z is. Since I returned home I have been very happy & done nothing but enjoy myself tho’ I intend to commence in the morning & try & get some employment, my mother is greatly in debt & it is only with the greatest struggle her & Mary can keep house & make things meet I hope to God I may soon drop into something profitable for I have no wish to travel again the only good I ever derived from rambling about was that it gave me a greater relish for home. Wednesday morning I went to the Melbourne Cricket Ground to see the All England Eleven play, they play



well, but not caring or knowing much of the game it did not interest me, tho’ I found plenty things novel that did in the company surrounding Apple & Nut Stalls, Aunt Sallys & other swindles were in profusion, reminding me more of a fair at home than anything else - later in the afternoon I left & called upon Mr. & Mrs. Dight found them very glad to see me & of course had to answer the most unaccountable questions respecting their boys, all of which I did as satisfactory as possible after tea I went to the Hay Market Theatre, to see pantomine of Cinderella with the opera attached the principal vocalists being the Emma & Celia Howson with their father, the former has a fine sophano voice & will with more experience prove a fine singer. I was highly delighted with the performance but more particularly with the singing

Thursday morning Mary & I went to Nt Melbourne to Mrs. McDougalls, had dinner with her & stayd there nearly all the afternoon, spent the evening at home Mary & Fred singing very well, my sister has a very superior Mezzo Sophano voice a Mr. Ambler, who boards with us, sang, he has a splendid Baritone voice. Ive seldom heard a better, twas quite a treat to me - to spend such an evening & when I drew comparisons between my past life & what it ought to have been if circumstances had permitted me live at



home instead of roving what a different being I might have been Friday I spent writing to J Hamilton, H.Dight, Ned, A Henderson & my sister Bessie. In the evening I went to the Theatre Royal, to see the Pantomine of Lallah Rook everything was most gorgeously got & I could not conceive anything more magnificent in the scenic & spectacular line. Saturday it rained all day, I stayd at home reading. To day, Sunday Mary & I went in the morning to St Marks Church heard the Revd Mr Barlow preach a most peculiar sermon. I did not like him, he reminded me of some stucup orator Ive heard somewhere. In the afternoon Ambler Fred & I took a walk visited the Cemetary found my brother Charlies grave (for the first time) After tea Fred & I took a ramble about. I was quite astonished to find Bourke St crowded with people on a Sunday evening, disgracefully so, in my opinion, mostly young girls & young *men the principal portion who dont appear to be the most respectable inhabitants of Melbourne on arriving home about 9 pm we had some sacred music, my sister singing & playing selections from the Messiah. I have been suffering very severely all the week from the effects of a violent cold I caught on board the Alhambra S.S.



Jany 18th.[17th]1864
[Sunday, 17 January 1864] Weather, been very hot, but not so oppressive as I expected to have found it. I have been looking out for some employment all the week but have not been successful as yet, not my fault, for I have been out before 8 am every morning, & looked on the lists of "wanted" which appear in the Argus daily. I answered one or two advertisements by letter but no reply. I made personal applications for two but I would not suit for one & the other would not suit for me, being rather a menial job, tho I could have had it had I chosen. I have been very unwell all the week suffering through my own cursed folly, teaching me a lesson Ill not forget in a hurry - I went to the Haymarket Theatre, on Tuesday night, heard E.Howson & W.Sherwin in the Opera of Bohemian Girl she sang well, but the rest were abominable The remaining evenings I spent at home with Mary & Mother. Saturday afternoon Mary & I went to a Promenade Concert in the Botanical Gardens, heard some good singing, all the eclat of Melbourne was there some lovely women I noticed. We rambled about the gardens admiring everything we looked upon the Gardens are beautifully situated & very tastefully laid out, they are a long walk from



our house & we were tired on arriving home Sunday, this morning I went alone to St Peters Church, heard Mr. Handfield preach an excellent sermon, & also so some fine music, there being at this Church, the finest Choir in Melbourne most of the vocalists I heard yesterday in the Gardens being paid members of it. In the afternoon Mary & I again visited the Gardens for a walk they are free to the public on Sabbath In the evening we had some visitors, Mr J.J. Clark, friend of my sister, a very gentlemanly well informed & I should think clever young fellow [&] Mrs. Morris an old friend of our family’s I believe. I had to see her home, away in West Melbourne it was after 12 Pm when I got home

Jany 25th.1864
[Sunday, 24 January 1864] Still idle, doing nothing. I have made many applications for situations not a day passes without trying some place or another, but there are so many applicants & numbers on the look out for employment that unless a person has good references or some influence tis a difficult matter to get anything to do. I wrote to Mr. Field last week requesting to furnish me with a testimonial of character & I also wrote to Mr Froggart of Bendigo for the same purpose. I am still far from being well but I fancy my complaint is on the turn - Monday night Mary, Fred & I went to a



party at Morriss’ - did not get home till day- light next morning. I never spent such a jolly night there was all sorts of people Actors & Actresses first rate company & every body appeared to do their best to please their neighbour free from restraint or conventional routines. After I finish my hunt for work in the morning, which is over by about 10 Am I usually come home & read & write & look up & practice arithmetic & Bookkeeping things Im rather backward in a knowledge of - I spent most of the afternoon at the Public Library, a fine resort, for folks who have nothing to do, it is a beautiful building & well stocked with works on most every subject & every conveniance for reading – below stairs are two large apartments full of sculptuary & works of mediaeval art by the best masters & free to the public. This morning Mary & I went to hear Mr. Barlow preach, after dinner we had some singing, Ambler singing some pieces from the Oratorias. In the evening I took a walk, home by 9 Pm found Mr Clark here he appears to be a constant visitor at our house. I cannot say I altogether like him I believe him to be very talented & clever in his profession (an architect, in the Govt. employ with a salary of, I believe, £450.0.0 ayear) but very egotistical & self opinionated, & displays a deal of affectation, in endeavouring to persuade



people he has no self esteem & yet I never met one I fancy, is so fond of approbation. I dont think he is as fond of his bed as I am, or else he would be in it ere now, he dont seem to think people want to go to bed - for he never thinks of going till close on 12 Pm -

Feby 2nd 1864
Weather been very hot during the week. I have been ill, at the beginning of the week. Sunday night I felt bad & the next day had an attack of Colonial Fever, which has left me very weak but thanks to my dear Mother & sister Marys kindness & attention I was up by Wednesday - It has affected my other complaint, of the spine, very much having put it back. I have not got anything to do yet, tho’ I have tried hard & answered advertisements, & never neglected an opportunity of any description in the pursuit of work - The little money I had on landing is done & it will gall me terribly to become a burden to my already overburdened mother - I am getting tired of rambling about town. I have visited the Liby Police Courts & other public places until I am afraid the police will imagine me to be some vagrant. I went with Fred to the Theatre last Thursday night to hear the Opera of The "Night Dancers," I liked it very well



there is some pretty music in it - I have read a great deal lately – some of Miss Bremers works, Essays on various subjects by W. Fox - varied with Lallah Rookh & some of Longfellows poems – I received a long letter from Beckingsale, my fellow shop- mate at Fields, I was very hurt by a reference he made in his letter concerning a circumstance which happened the day I left Dunedin I left Fields on a Saturday, during the afternoon a customer came in the shop & I took an order from him about two hours afterwards, having some more orders to deliver, I took his one, on arriving at the persons house, I found no one at home so I opened the door & put the goods inside & went my way – the people say they never received the goods & positively refused to pay. I had often left goods at the same house & in the same manner before, & how it turns out, that these goods are denied puzzles me, unless someone watched me leave them & then on my leaving took them. Mrs F who always hated me is making the most of the case against me & has dared to make some observations in reference to my want [of] principle, honesty, Etc Charlie does not doubt me but seems to think as I do concerning the case - & it was out of pure friendship to me he wrote to



to ascertain if I could throw any light upon the subject. I answered immediately & gave him all the explanation I could in the manner. I suppose ere long I shall hear more about the affair, if it is not settled to my credit I will return to Dunedin should I have to work my passage there

I received a long letter from H. Dight written in Invercargill, having left Dunedin a few days previously & taking this route to go to the Lakes where he [is] going to join his brother Jack & Ned Rowitt, he had met my brother Ned he is quite well & is at work in a cordial Manufactory there, I am surprised Ned does not write. Harry also met C.Foyne who is thinking of visiting Victoria shortly - To day is my 25th Birthday, I seem to be getting worse off every year, one consolation tis next to impossible to get much worse We had a lot of visitors to day T.Grimwood & G.Ramsden & JJ Clark

Feby 7th.1864 Weather very hot, I am still very unwell & weak & if I had plenty of money would take it easy for a month or two. The worry & anxiety of my position tends to make me worse. I have answered advertisements by post &




also in person several times this week – but all to no purpose, my money is done & what clothes I have will soon begin to get seedy. I cannot bear to become a burden to anyone & yet mother & all at home do their utmost not to let me feel my dependant state. I would not care if she could afford it or had some regular income, for she & the rest of the [family] have had plenty of assistance from me. My sister Bessie came home from Echuca last Tuesday night she has greatly altered since I last saw her, when she was a little pert slip of a girl, she has grown into a nice pretty lady like girl. I ought to be proud of my sisters, few brothers have such I wish I could do something for them, this infernal teaching harasses the soul out of them. Thursday, Ambler & I went to hear "Maritana", Howsons, Sherin & Wharton being the principal vocalists - This morning, my sisters & self went to St Marks Church, got wet coming home been raining ever since. G.Ramsden & Grimwood came in the afternoon stayd tea & spent the evening with us. Friday my sister Mary gave her school children a little party in the evening some children of an older growth called & several young ladies, among the number a Miss Flett, sister to Mrs



White, an old friend & neighbour of my mother she is a very nice young woman. I had the pleasure of seeing her home -

Feby. 14th.1864
Weather extremely hot & I feel it far more than the regular denizens of the town, coming from such a different climate as that of Otago is. I am beginning to recover my health fast, getting quite strong. I have not yet got into anything as yet, but have a prospect of a situation in a good firm here (Levy Bros,) to proceed to Tasmania. I am to have a decided answer to morrow. I hope to heavens I may get it. I am fairly sick & worn out with anxiety in searching for employment, gaping into shop windows gazing into peoples faces, passing time away in the Police Courts or knocking about with others like myself who I meet regularly in my searches for work. I went in company with Fred one night to see Barry Sullivan the Tragedian, as Falconbridge in "King John" he is considered by many to be the best actor ever we have had in Victoria, for my part I think he is not worthy of comparison with G.V. Brooke. I never witnessed such an artificial actor in my life every word, look, gesture, attitude appear to me so studied there wants more nature or natural manner, in my opinion, in his acting before he ranks as a first rate actor



in my estimation. Friday evening my sisters went to a Mr. Allens in Collins St. I went about 8.30 for them & was induced to remain till 10 Pm. there is a Miss Allen, a very nice ladylike girl. I enjoyed myself very well, on arriving home we went afterwards into a neighbours house, Mr Whites, who is leaving here for NZ in the morning had supper with the family & made our adieus, 12 pm when we left -

Saturday evening Fred took me to hear the Opera of Maritana, the Howsons, Sherwin & Wharton - being the principal vocalists. This morning Bessie & I went to St Peters Church, not to hear Mr Handfield for that was impossible from where we sat, near the door, but the singing After dinner Bessie & Mary & I took a walk around Fitzroy Gardens. In the evening I went to St Peters Church with Ambler met two young ladies, friends of his instead of going to Church we took a pleasent walk in the gardens till 9 Pm when we saw them home - & did ditto for ourselves. I received a long kind letter from Hamilton on Wednesday himself & family were quite well when he wrote. Mrs. H was on a visit to the Hendersons at Tomahawk "Bonnie Annie" sends her love to me (rubbish). enclosed in the letter were two testimonials of character & ability, one from himself & the



the other from Mr Field, both of them very flattering. I wrote to Mr. Halley during the week to procure me a reference from Mr Froggatt - I met young Collier the other day he has taken to the stage altogether now, as an actor, he is waiting for Chas Kean, the great actor, to open his engagement next week at the Haymarket Theatre & where he hopes to be one of the company, he informs John King, Bellas brother is playing at present on Ballarat - I have been spending a deal of time this week at my books, teaching myself Book Keeping -

Feby 21st 1864
Very hot during the week, was greatly disappointed last Monday at not getting the situation at Levy Bros. It appears the vacancy was filled up by the same party who was in the billet before who had been induced to return to it again I have made application for a dozen situations since without success. I am regularly down hearted on my ill luck, without a shilling to bless myself with my few clothes getting very shabby & the poverty of my mother & sisters all tend to make me feel my position, as a dependant upon them the more acutely & still they wont hear of my leaving home for the Bush again, where I should have no difficulty of helping myself if not those near & dear to me



Tuesday, my N.Z friend Foyne called upon me he had just returned from there with the intention of going to England, where he sailed for yesterday in the "Lincolnshire" I knocked about town with him during the week & my sisters & I all went down to Sandridge to see him off yesterday afternoon, he informed me he had seen my brother Ned in Invercargill where he was at work, in a Bowling ally he had hired as soon as I got his address I wrote to him. David Hazlitt & Pickett also arrived here from NZ during the week, they purpose going to the New Rush at Woods Point If I had a few pounds I would go with them - I met another old Bendigo friend yesterday Donovan, he got disgusted with gold digging some two years ago & came to Melb in search of em- -ployment, got "hard up" & had at length to carry a hod for a mason, but owing to some rich friends here he soon got into something better he was a clerk at one of the Suburban P.Courts but left it & is now an articled clerk to Edwards the Lawyers, he & I were very intimate years ago & I have assisted him more than once, but on hearing I was hard up, he did not express much sympathy or evince any desire to assist me but appeared very indifferent & careless about continuing the acquaintance, nothing but



what I expect from the world I could curse it & all in it of but for the sake of one or two I have met in my life who are different & in whom the milk of human kindness flows -

[Sunday, 6 March 1864] March 7th 1864 More low spirited than ever, still nothing to do not a sixpence or have had one for weeks, or else Im sure I would not now be in town, a burden to those at home as I feel I am, not that they ever hint at my being a burden, but the opposite, they all treat me with kindness & seem never to do enough for me. Tis singular I am so unfortunate. I am as energetic as the *ordinary run of men, not an advertisement appears in the papers, but what I answer either in person or by letter as the case may be, but all to no purpose, the fact is unless a man has interest and I have none or a friend or even acquaintance in Melb’ who can assist me in any degree many a time I return home fully determined to roll up my blankets as I have done many a time before, & take to the Bush or the diggins Oh! Father & Guardians, if you could feel as I do, how bitterly you would repent bringing up your children without some tangible way of earning a livelihood some trade or profession or education, it is purely a matter of chance if such neglected ones either sink or swim. I have but to



take my brothers & self as examples. My only object in coming back home was with the idea of correcting the evils of my past life & endeavour to become a respectable member of society & not to wander purposeless, as hitherto, through life, as an outcast - I make the best use of my time, by endeavouring to improve my mind – reading, writing & arithmetic with a dabble into "Morrell" form my studies so in a measure my time is not misspent

I received an affectionate letter from C Beckingsal last week. He is still at Fields says business is very dull, but what was more satisfactory to me he informed me the affair he alluded to in his last letter had been settled & that I was found to be right it appears some children had seen me leave the goods & had taken them - I also had a letter from H.Dight, he is still living & working with his brother & Rowitt near Queenstown on the Lakes Otago he is doing nothing, but just making a living he informed me Nelson is doing 2 months in Jail there for personating a policeman also that Cameron & Proctor are up there & begged to be kindly remembered to me Harry had just received a note from my brother Ned informing him that he



was still living in Southland, but I was sorry to hear he had been unwell & laid up for three weeks with a severe sprain. I wish he would write to us, tis very wrong of him he knows how anxious & uneasy Mother gets when she does not hear from her children when absent - I was greatly surprised on Thursday week by my cousin Harry Vickerman paying us a visit, he had just come from Tasmania where he he has been living with his sister Mary Ann (Mrs. Peat) he only stayd a day with us & then left for Sandhurst where he was going to his sisters Lizzie’s wedding, which took place yesterday the 6 inst) the man she married is a Mr. Holme, a Swede, & a painter by trade & I believe can give her a good home & make her happy I wish her joy & hope she may be happy. I am sure she will make a good wife. Fred has taken me several times to the Theatre, once to the opera & again to hear or see Miss Cleveland (Mrs. Vincent) a new star & judging from her acting & the houses she draws is likely to become a great favourite with the public the piece I saw her in was "Lear", a drama of the very sensational order with the "agony" pretty well piled up in it.

[Sunday, 13 March 1864] March 14th 1864 Been very hot all the week, still out of work beginning to take my ill luck as quite a matter of course. I have answered numerous



advertisements but there is always something to prevent me being the lucky one chosen from the numerous herd who present themselves for selection I have passed much of my spare time this week helping Picket & Hazlett to break in a couple of young colts they bought after reducing them to a managable state by yesterday, they packed them & made a start to the new rush at Woods Point they had not got a mile from the town when one broke away & nearly smashed everything that was on his back we were some three hours before we caught the beast & adjusted the load again after doing which I bade them adieu, if I had had £2. I should have gone with them, they wanted me to join them but I did not like to put myself under a compliment to them - I hope they may be fortunate - On Wednesday night having a ticket given me I went to an Amatuer performance at the National Hall. I never sat out such rubbish or ever heard such a low lot, at the conclusion of the Drama or farce, more properly speaking the forms were cleared away & a Dance ensued to which I stayd at till nearly 3 the following morning, if being excited & in a wild reckless jolly state can be called pleasure then I had enough of it, rather a rag tag lot were there & I was more than once getting into hot water through dancing with girls who preferred my company to others there



[continuing Sunday, 13 March 1864]
14/3/64 Thursday morning Fred & I went to the Haymarket Theatre to see Mr. & Mrs. Chas.Keen perform he taking the aged Lear & she playing the "Fool" it was a frightful hot night & the place was densely crowded. I felt rather disappointed with the great man for the first three acts. I had expected to see a different man, having fallen in the folly of others who minds are associated, with the idea of an actor being a fine man with a commanding appearance & a voice deep & loud like a Stentor / I had no idea of an actor without these qualities, until I saw Keen when all my disappointment vanished. I saw & felt what I never did before, concentrated intensity of acting, a being who appeared to enter thoroughly into the character he wished to portray, it was really astonishing the effect he produced under the physical disadvantages he suffered from, bad appearance, bad voice & well up in years - Mrs. K played well, what a charming actress she must have been when younger. I received a letter from H.Vickerman on Friday informing me of Lizzies wedding (last Saturday) which he states was rather a quiet affair, as such things ought to be in my humble opinion, he went to see Froggatt on my a/c. who has promised to do what he can for me that is if he hears of anything likely to suit me on Sandhurst he will exert himself to obtain it for me, he has considerable interest there & I never knew him promise what he didnt seem to perform



Harry informs me A.Smith through influence he can command has been appointed Manager or Agent of a Branch of the Bk NSW @ Raywood lucky fellow - Saturday night Jessie Flett & I took a long walk together visited Fitzroy Gardens much to the annoyance of many a loving couple whom we disturbed by going & sitting upon the same seats Etc. Jessie is a nice girl, one of the pleasentest & most agreeable creatures I ever knew always in good spirits full of fun & jolly & yet possessed of plenty of good sense, is well informed & reasons in her arguments like a Lawyer - all without displaying anything like pedantry, a real sterling woman who would make a good wife, lucky will be the man who gets her we are very often in each others company in fact we have quite a penchant for one another. I am sure nothing has so tended to reconcile me to my lot here than her acquaintance & her smiles which drive my melancholy away & makes my present position endurable - Spent the day reading until the evening when Bessie & I went to St Peters Church to hear a very interesting discourse delivered by a Missionary. I forgot to state Mary & I went to a party at Mrs. Morris on Monday night rather a mixed lot were there, actors & actresses, but all jolly folks there was a pretty married woman there, who I am vain enough to say was so foolish



as to pay me the most marked attention, I was invited by her husband (the latter appears to be a most *excesive looking creature) to a party at their place on Emerald Hill next Monday night

[Wednesday, 16 March 1864] Wednesday March 17th.1864 Since I last wrote the weather has been beautiful & fine but rather hot, still doing nothing or any prospect of having anything else to do, answered several advertisements, for young men who are expected to be able to do everything from cleaning Boots to Keeping Books, for a few shillings weekly without effort - I met John King this morning poor devil, he informed me he took to the Stage when I went to NZ. but by his own account he has, been an actor out of luck & is very little credit to the profession, he was in Sydney a few months ago, & reduced to great extenuation & at length had to pack up his swag & tramp back overland a distance of 600 miles, cadging his food on the way, he is now looking out for a situation or like "Micawber" waiting for something to turn up

Monday night Bessie Fred & I went to the Griffins party on the Hill Mr G is Rly Station Master there arrived there about 9 pm, met several we knew Mr & Mrs. Morriss Mr. & Mrs Fitzgerald (the Actors) being among the party, there was plenty to eat & drink fruit Etc in abundance, plenty of singing and dancing with parlor games & plays of forfeit



Mrs. G annoyed me by her attentions. I tried to think it was her usual manner but, no, she was not so with any other gentleman - Mr. G Im sure must have observed us for he watched us very closely - on making our adieus, we gave each other a hearty kiss. Im sure there was a row on my departure – what asses women (or some) are – 5 next morning when we arrived home, had a row with the cabman who brought the party home for his exorbitant charge, so he would not take what we offered him, which was very fair, the consequence was we let him go without – I suppose he will summons us – being very tired next day I did not go out much, in the evening I & Jessie Flett took a strool together, visited some friends of her remained an hour or so there with them & then returned home - To day, in my liesure hours, I dug up my mothers garden - & did sundry other little jobs about the place -

[Friday, 18 March 1864] Friday 19th.[18th] March 1864 Lovely weather the past two days, spare time spent in reading writing & arithmetic, no work - Yesterday afternoon, I went to hear a Band play in Fitzroy Gardens, playd some beautiful selections from the works of the best composers. If my mind had been more settled, I should have enjoyed myself very much, nothing affords me greater pleasure



than listening to good music, & especially under such circumstances, lolling upon the grass & basking like a butterfly in the sun, the air filled with soft & rapturous strains of exquisite music. After tea Mrs. Morris & Mrs. Griffin called at our house after remaining about an hour, Fred saw the former & I the latter home - it took us two hours or more to walk to Emerald Hill. I believe Mrs. G is "daft" she is more poetic & sentimental, than all the "etherealities" I have ever met with put together nothing but poetry & sentiment & love, of the latter) its purely platonic, so she has it, a feeling I cannot understand existing with any degree of propriety behoving a married woman (with two children) & a young susceptible creature like myself there is something very attractive about a charm or spell which I feel enslaves me when in her company, on parting I feel a disgust towards her & to myself – very strange, but true. -

This morning after taking my usual hunt after employment, I spent a couple of hours at the Public Library & ditto at home with my lessons, singing & teasing my sisters this evening - Monday 22 March 1864

Weather very unsettled, still unemployed - Saturday morning rambled about town little in it interests me, my mind being in such a muddle & my spirits so depressed by the many



disappointments I have received lately are all tending to make me very downhearted more especially as my mother & sister Mary have so hard to work & struggle to keep a home together - I went into Mrs Whites about 3 pm, saw Jessie Flett, we went out for a walk, visited Mrs. Woolfs garden in Nicholson St. once a splendidly laid out & well stocked garden but now going to ruin. We romped & playd about like a couple of children, eating fruit & climbing up the vines & trees after the choicest & most dainty we could find, her jolly & buoyant & merry spirits soon roused me from my depressed state & soon dissipated my gloom, there is something very fine & noble in Jessies character something so much to admire & love, a true woman full of kindness & sympathy - serious & candid & free from all affectation except a desire or a tendency to be satirical, bitterly so, to those who lay themselves open to ridicule, but to me she is ever good & kind, seeing her is like a gleam of sunshine during a storm - In the garden we visited are two Alloes in flower, quite a rarity. Jessie was women enough to wish for a flower I soon gratified her curiosity by clambering up the long straight stem, with no little difficulty, it did not repay *us for the trouble, the flower looked better at the distance, they consist of nothing but a lot of small bulbs in clusters - on leaving the gardens I went home with Jessie to her sisters



Mrs. Whites where I stayd tea - after which I took my leave & with Fred went to the Royal Theatre saw Barry Sullivan & Miss Cleveland in Bulwers play "Lady of Lyons". he is the finest Claude this country has seen, I like him much better in high comedy than in tragedy. Sunday afternoon Bessie & I took a walk around Fitzroy Gardens, being a lovely day we enjoyed our ramble. In the evening Fred & I went to the Catholic Chapel, heard some good singing & also Ten chapters of "Mathew" read the priest was still reading on when we got sick of the sermon & left, crossed the road to St Peters Heard Mr. Handfield preach an excellent sermon came home & found, as usual, a number of visitors - This morning I went after a job as storeman. I would not suit, they wanted a giant, properly speaking they wanted a person that could do two mens work for one mans pay. I then walked to Richmond to see a friend of mine named Whit, who had an idea he could get me a situation, imagine my disgust on discovering the billet to be that of a "Boots" & general utility man about a hotel – I can write no more -

(Sunday) March 27th 1864 Lovely weather during the week, what a glorious contrast between this climate & that of N.Z. Victoria is a paradise in comparison Still no employment, tho’ I have answered several advertisements both personally & by



by letter - I received a letter from Mr Froggatt at the beginning of the week - sympathising with me in my misfortunes, he has heard of nothing as yet likely to suit me, but he states that if I am obliged to take to digging or hard work again - that he will take me on again in my old billet on the Nelson Reef at the present rate of wages (£2.15.0 perweek I am sure it is very kind of him to make me such an offer, but I have no desire to accept his offer. I dont think I could stand the work now & the principal reason of my declining it is, that I fear that if I once more commenced my old life I shall never have spirit enough ever to abandon it again - he forwarded me a very flattering testimonial of character which may be of service of me - Tuesday night Mrs. G called & I saw her home – sentimental as ever - Wednesday evening I went into Mr Whites to see Jessie, found her alone. I had a very bad headache - which she cured by by a process of her own, bathing the head in Eau de Cologne – a very pleasent operation, when one is ailing, to have the head manipulated by such fair fingers - I left her about 10 Pm walked over to North Melb to Mrs. Morriss who was giving a little party Fred & Mary were there - & the usual set I did not enjoy myself very much, suffering from a bad cold – 4 am when we got home -



what a lot of humbug there is at these affairs, nothing but affectation - if a person howls, screams & makes a squeak its called singing & it is most amusing to watch people screw up their features into an extatic grin & pronounce it beautiful - charming, Etc - Good Friday was observed as a holiday. Fred & I took a long walk about the suburbs. Spent the evening at Whites’ a Mr Clarke, a relative of theirs, a squatter, was there & also a Mr Petherbridge, draper, the latter is an admirer of Miss Flett & is paying the most persevering addresses - to her, she treats him shamefully, that is if she means to give him encouragement. Yesterday afternoon she & I went down to Abbotsford together & visited a Mr & Mrs Drake who keep a large school down there, they were very kind to us gave us plenty of fruit out of their garden, made us stay to tea after partaking of same we left for home having spent a pleasent afternoon with them, after seeing Jessie home I went to Smith St & met Mrs G who had been to see some friends in this neighbourhood & was returning home to Emerald Hill, we had not gone far before we met my mother & Bessie who thought it rather strange, I should be in Mrs. G company at such a time & place so far from her home - on parting from my folks we took a long strool together saw her home about 11

March 29th 1864 (Tuesday) Very hot the last two days. Yesterday, Easter Monday, was a general holiday, in the morning, in company with Ambler I visited the Herald printing office



per favour of the manager & for the first time in my life saw a steam printing machine the mechanism of which was fully explained to me it is truly wonderful what science has done for humanity in this respect when one imagines the vast amount of information daily diffused amongst the population the benefits arising must be invaluable - In the afternoon George Johnson & I went to Studley Park for a bit of fun found enormous numbers of people picnicing in the most enjoyable manner possible, laughing, larking, dancing, Kiss in the Ring Etc everywhere - without any regard to the dust, which rose in clouds, & the intense heat of the north wind blowing. We went in for a bit of fun & soon made ourselves at home among many a pleasent party of merry romping girls - I did not know a soul when I went on the ground but I knew scores ere I left it - I escorted one very pretty girl home just as darkness was shedding her mantle over the scene, on parting from her I made for our place, tired, dusty & dirty - & was not long ere I went to bed. Tuesday, this morning applied for two situations, no success about 50 applicants for same. Im getting sick of seeing the same faces continually, this afternoon I have spent reading Rbt. Owens "Foofalls on the Boundaries of another World", a work I am reading with interest, giving rise as it does to a train of thought on theory of the spiritual life of man on earth. This evening Mary & I took a walk around town, called at Whites on our way home to see if Jessie had returned from Ballarat, where she went on a visit yesterday, she had arrived when we left - as we did not stay long



[Friday, 1 April 1864] (Friday) April 2nd 1864 Still no employment. Im miserable at my long continued waiting for something to turn up. I dont know what will become of me at last. I try to banish thought, but our poverty is such that it racks me to the heart, to be leading such an inactive & unprofitable existence - Wednesday afternoon I spent with Jessie Flett. I am getting too fond of going to see her, what folly my foolish vanity leads me into I sometimes think she likes me far more than an ordinary acquaintance - for her own sake I hope I am mistaken, for whatever feelings I entertain toward [her] I shall never reveal, it is her extreme & disinterested kindness & sympathy towards me which draws me to her, our conversation & manner is as free & as unconstrained as that of an affectionate Brother & Sister however I must admit in justice to her that I am quite unworthy of the affection of such a noble hearted girl her friends wish her to marry Petherbridge who is really a decent fellow & in a fair way of doing, having a good drapery business of his own, she treats him sometimes with the greatest contempt. I, on our last interview, persuaded her all in my power to accept him & think no more of me. I hope in time she may see the propriety of the step. Wednesday evening, I went to Griffins on Emerald Hill, met Mrs. Morris there staid about two hours with them - Mrs. G made me



promise to meet her as last night in Fitzroy which I did with great reluctance, we took a long walk before seeing her home, very wrong, this sort of thing curse my weakness, or hers. I really dont know which is to blame the most - she is a poor weak silly thing, her husband is an excellent man she admits but he is so cool & unimpassioned that she declares him repulsive - he is never jealous of her, she goes when & where she likes & returns home whenever she chooses, he never asks her any questions - she is quite the reverse, full of ardour hot & passionate in her nature, likes to love & to be loved & does not appear to be particular either as in my case, she is or affects to be jealous of me & yet with all she is intelligent & well read, full of romance & poetry, & what is more, is continually harping about morality & platonic affection Etc the fact is she is a half bred Frenchwoman & resembles them in her abandoned & flippant yet philosophical style & manner -

Feeling a strange sense of uneasiness concerning my brother Edward, to day. I could not rest until I had written to him although my last to him is still unanswered, tis very strange he does not write. I trust nothing may have happened to him - I received a long letter from H.Vickerman yesterday, poor fellow he is not well in health, & can, when well, get very little work to do, he advises me to come to Bendigo again he said I should have no difficulty in finding work on the Quartz Reefs where I have worked before & he thinks it is preferable to my present inactive state - I cannot go. I have not a sixpence to pay my way there -



& to go up there penniless & have to sponge upon friends goes somewhat against my grain - This evening I spent with Jessie Flett - there is an awful storm raging outside at present. I never saw more vivid lightning during some of the flashes I can see for miles -

(Wednesday) April 6th 1864 Weather unsettled. Still no work. I have made personal applications & written several in reply to advertisements but to no purpose, goodness how much longer am I to be like this - I have many a time lately returned home after fruitless errands with the determination of packing up my swag & penniless start into the bush & take my chance as many a better men than I have had to do, but a word of kindness from mother, sisters or Jessie Flett has filled me again with hope & reconciled me to try the town again. Saturday /3rd inst Pickett & Hazlett called on me they have returned from Woods Point, having killed one of their horses on the road spent all their money & altogether have met with nothing but misfortune In the evening Fred took me to the Theatre where I saw Mr & Mrs. Chas Kean perform in the "Corsican Brothers" & afterwards in the "Jealous Wife" I never witnessed such complete finished acting before he is a wonderful man to have gained such a reputation under the physical disadvantages he labours under with a poor voice & not the most prepossessing figure for the stage. Sunday afternoon Bessie & I took a walk, after tea we went into Mrs. Whyts. I thought Jessie rather cool towards me - perhaps it was because Mr Petherbridge, who is paying the most constant



court upon her was present, but there was nothing in her manner toward him that would lead me to think she was giving him encouragement - Monday evening, Mary & Fred went to a party at Mrs. Morriss I was invited but did not go until late, 12 Pm, In the meantime I went to see Jessie Flett, we took a delightful walk through the Fitzroy Gardens sat down under a lovely willow, talking in the most honied tones such as only those who love can understand how many times we kissed & swore we loved each other heaven & the willow only know We spent a couple of hours in the most rapturous & blissful state possible I, in forgetfullness of all my troubles & she with regard to the wisdom of our proceedings in our present circumstances I scarcely know how we got home & how I got to Mrs. Morriss afterwards, I was in such an ecstatic state of bliss - that we are doing wrong in nurturing affection that will come to nought, we are both aware, at least we both admit it, but there are moments when passion takes precedence of discretion - & so it is in our case. I am sure on reflection we shall laugh at ourselves & our folly - Wednesday morning T.Grimwood & I went down the Yarra to fish. I dont much care for the sport & soon abandoned it & whiled away my time in trying to compose sonnets to Jessie Flett, what shall I say, beauty she has not much but merit, few compare, sense, plenty, except in one case & that is allowing herself to love me, however I spoilt nearly all the leaves in my Pocket Book & after all only managed to erudite some dozen lines which from fear of being quizzed too severely at



by her, I consigned to the flames on my arrival home Tom was no more fortunate than I, so we came home early when feeling tired through being up all the night before, I turned into bed & slept Thursday morning I wandered about the town till dinnertime trying to find or hear of something to do - In the afternoon I went to see a Mr Hand who is an accountant & commission agent, he wanted a partner, finding he wanted some £25. as well & not being in a position to beg, borrow or steal such a sum, I had to give up all idea of it - I called to see Jessie in the evening, we took a strool & visited a Mrs. Chains on leaving her we went to the Fitzroy Gardens for a couple of hours -

Friday, spent the morning in town, afternoon at my lesssons Etc In the evening Ambler Fred & I went to see Barry Sullivan in Bulwers play of ‘Money.’ Alfred Evelyn is one of his best characters, but he is awful stagey, we got wet through walking home. I met D Hazlett in the morning at a Horse Sale, heard some voice bellowing out the good qualities of some horse on looking at the person I recognised in him my old N.Z. mate Jms McEwan who left our party on the Dunstan, on the River rising, he has been in Melbourne a few months, horse dealing. Saturday I went about as usual in search of employment found none, spent the afternoon reading. In the evening



I went to Whites was introduced to a Mr Clarke, a half brother to Mr. White. Jessie I found suffering from a sore knee poor girl Im very sorry for she is in great pain, however she managed at the table & we spent a pleasent evening together

Sunday April 10th 1864 Spent the afternoon at the Fitzroy Gardens. Grimwood called & stayd tea, after which he & I went to St Peters Church from here we went to a hotel in Smith St kept by some friends of G’s named Brintana, there are three daughters, rather pretty girls, of course I made myself agreeable & had on leaving a most pressing invitation to come again. I called to see Jessie Flett, on my way home, her leg is still very painful

Thursday April 14th 1864 Lovely weather during the past few days still no work, very disheartened, writing & applying for situations is horrible work & what galls me most is my mothers patient hopeful consolations to me when I know she is head over ears in debt & still getting deeper in it with no prospect of them being paid. I feel that it is criminal living & loafing at home under such circumstances I really must take up my bed and walk - or in other words roll up my swag & take to the bush. God only knows how I recoil at the idea of again leading my old vagabond kind of life, yet whats a fellow to do! Last night Mrs Morris & Mrs. Griffin called at our house the



latter for the purpose of informing me that there was a vacancy in the Booking office at the Rly Station Emerald Hill where Mr G is Station Master, thru’ Mrs G influence who got a letter of recommendation from Mr G to the Secretary of the M & H B Rly Co which she gave me for my benefit, so this morning I called at the Rly office with it & was introduced to the Accountant Mr Wakefield who by the way is a Wroite, wearing hair down his back like a woman a most eccentric looking individual however, he desired me to remain, which I did for about an hour until the Secretary T.Finlayson came, when I was introduced, after looking at me as one would do if purchasing a horse, they told me to write my address, which I did in a frightful manner, & that if I was required they would send for me. I left the office in poor spirits for I have little faith in such peoples love of correspondence, but yet it does not belie Mr Griffins kindness, he gives a party this evening, my sisters & self are invited, & I have no doubt we shall spend a pleasent evening. I met John King on Tuesday, he is doing nothing, like myself looking out for employment, tho’ I dont think he cares much about work, he informed me his sister "dear Isa" had just been confined of a son & heir & that she is doing well, I should so like to see & congratulate her. I shall never cease to love her, my heart will never love so



freshly & with such holy pure emotions again Im afraid as it did Isa, she is the bright green spot in my life, time has worn off the feeling I used to have for her & I may meet another I could love but with a different sort of love to what I entertained for her, my love for her was too ethereal in its nature Im afraid ever to have been realized or enjoyed by me.

Tuesday April 19th 1864 Weather getting cold - soon have the winter with its rain & chilling blasts. I heard from Mr. Griffin that I am not [to] fill the situation he tried to procure for me but I am to have the first offer of filling the next vacancy that occurs. I enjoyed myself very well at G last Thursday 5 am next morning when I got home. Saturday evening having had free passes sent us Mother Bessie Fred & I went to the Theatre I had made an appointment with Mrs G so I left them & met her. I dont like this clandestine meeting with married women & I have told her so but it only inflames her the more. I have never done her any wrong so far, our affection has been purely platonic, but platonic affections are dangerous things when married women are concerned. I feel wretched in her company not only at the fear of discovery but from a sense of the very dishonorable position the result may place us in after to night when I have to meet her, I am determined to be firm & to advise her not to meet me out again. I was a fool in the first



place for encouraging such an intimacy. Last night Jessie Flett & I took a long walk rambling through Fitzroy Gardens, a place where many a tender scene is being enacted, a spot that must have a peculiar interest to thousands of lovers for it is the place where all flock to.

We received a letter from my Brother Edward to day, the first for many months, he is still living in Invercargil N.Z. ill, & he says he thinks he is suffering from disease of the heart brought on by the hardships he has endured in N.Z the past two years, poor Ned. God grant his fears are groundless - he informs us that he has not received one of the letters Mother & I have written to him. Very strange for I wrote twice my- -self & posted them he further informed us he had written & sent money to mother, but she has never received one or the other from him Mother & I wrote to him this afternoon -

[Saturday, 22 April 1864] Saturday April 23rd 1864 Weather miserable still no employment, met Mrs. G once or twice since I last wrote, & also been out for a walk with Jessie Flett. Last night having 4 Dress Circle tickets sent us for the Theatre, George Ramsden & I availed ourselves of them taking Bessie & Miss Reilly with us, to see Mr. & Mrs. C Kean in the play of the Gamester. I never witnessed such consumate acting in my life, in the last scene more especially so touching & heartrending.



[The top half of this page is missing]

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we were engaged at something improper tho I may here state that during our whole acquaintance nothing of the sort ever took place & Im sure never would, & I have heard that many have been accused of criminality by them when none existed to extort money - I knew at once they would pounce upon us & I had not a penny of money on me. I had just time to tell Mrs. G to make off as fast as she could & I would give the police a chase after me. I left her going one way & while I went another with both police close upon me when I had run some hundred or two yards I looked around & found one police hesitating whether to follow or not the other was not 5 yds from me & so I continued my running hoping Mrs. G would have had time to get away, tho’ I feel positive the other policeman returned after her. I was in



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- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - *** into
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - nt out
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - so if she
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- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - essing a
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - t wid
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - are
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - & searchd
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - *said to
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - he found
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - nd him
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - whose offer
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be to me for the future. I trust Mrs. G will be cured for penchant" toward me -

Tuesday 26th April 1864
Weather still unsettled, went after a billet this morning, 30 applicants, no result, wrote in answer to one or two advertisements no reply as yet, nor do I expect any I have been so often disappointed that I getting hopeless if I hear of nothing this week I mean to try the diggins again & stick to them & give up all idea of ever settling down in society again. Last night I spent at Mrs Whytes, with Jessie Flett. To night I went to a little party at a Mrs. Gardners next door to Mrs Whytes Jessie Flett & [I] left early & took a short walk together, there is a Capt Dalgarno, who commands a fine ship called the

(1867) Capt D lost his ship on his voyage home at the Auckland Islands & suffered great privations - himself & another I believe were the only survivors)



"Invoercauld" who appears to be very fond of Jessie, she came out from England with him some years ago, & he wishes her to marry him & return home with him. I hope I dont stand in the way & I gave her my advice which she asked. I like her very well but as for thinking of any thing serious with regard to me would be downright madness & I told her so, she hesitated some time but at length told the Capt not to think anything more about her, for that she could not love him Etc Etc - I parted with her in a most sentimental mood -

Saturday 30th.April 1864
I have something interesting at length to relate. I have actually got something to do & feel more settled in my mind with regard to several things that have tended lately to make me *writhe. I went after a situation about a fortnight ago I was told to leave my address which I did & I had forgotten the circumstance when I was sent for on Thursday It appears the man who got the billet didnt suit, so finding me out he asked me to go on trial for a couple of days which I did, found the place in a St in Collingwood, a Grocers Shop the man has two places of business, & he wants a manager for this one. I commenced yesterday morning & he appeared to be very well pleased with me, the hours were long from 7 Am till 8 Pm & 11 Pm on Saturdays. I didnt like it but it or anything was preferable to doing nothing & loafing at home living on my mother. I was very tired and weary on leaving this evening, on arriving home, my mother came to the door, & informed me that Mrs. G was inside, Mother has an idea that everything is not as it should be between us, and advised me not to see her I walked down to the Rly Station hoping to see her when [she]



was going home for I cannot feel satisfied until I have seen her & explained my part in the transaction of the other night - Fred saw her home, I missing them by some means - she confided the whole affair to him & informed him that she thinks I acted cowardly in leaving her, as I did, God help us, had I been captured what a fearful expose there would have been – the charge of cowardice galls me, it is the first time it was ever applied to me - although my conduct on the occasion might have appeared so to her, I thought I acted most prudently at the time, making sure that during the time the police were after me that she would have got away - I didnt think there were others near, at the time - I feel hurt at the stigma, I feel & know few men more courageous (or foolhardy is the true conception of the word in the sense she views the matter in) than I am, as many acts in my life were they known would verify - I will admit I have not courage! to commit crime - but I do know I have often risked my life to save another & perhaps placed in circumstances would do so again in a just cause - I found Mrs. G object in coming to our house was to bring me a letter from the Secretary of the Melb. & Hobsons Bay Rly Co informing me that having been recommended by Mr. G he offered me a situation in the Goods Dept. the salary for the start, being very low, only £50 a year - I have thought it over, the salary is nothing, but then it may improve, the hours are short, from 9 to 5 & leave



on Saturdays at 12 am - & it may get me into something better & besides being far more respectable than being behind a Grocers counter from daylight to late at night doling out pounds of Sugar & Salt, Etc so I think I will accept the offer. I was merely informed I should be required on Monday morning at 9 am when I should be enlightened to my duties I called on my way home & informed Mr. Brown that I was going to leave him so soon - he was sorry at my leaving him but stated that if I did not like the Rly. I could come back to him I am sure I ought to be thankful, for the kindness shown me by people who are really nothing to me - This being a busy day, Saturday, I went to Browns & helped him - Thursday evening, I took a walk with Jessie Flett - [Sunday, 8 May 1864] May 10th.1864
Weather beginning to get very cold, sure approach of winter, but what a contrast to the winter I spent in NZ on the Dunstan surrounded by snow & frost & living in a little tent, with no fuel to warm me & hard up, living a miserable life I went last Monday morning to my new situation at the Rly my duties at the present, are confined to keeping a record or list of all goods coming into the Sheds from the different vessels at the Pier - not very difficult work, but trying to my weak eyes, having a deal of writing to do - the Sheds are very large, there are about a dozen delivery clerks, with one or two invoice & endorsing clerks, a Superintendent & an Overseer

Railway Pier, Sandridge, (now Port Melbourne)

Tuesday night I went with Fred to hear the Opera



of Faust. There is some lovely music in it, but Squires Escott & Wharton, the principal did not know their parts or else were in bad voice for it fell very tame on my ears the Byon Song of Marquisites & a Baritone Song (Medallion) pleased me the most, & the Soldiers Chorus, I must not forget to notice is a magnificent composition - Wednesday night Jessie Flett & I went to a concert in the Orderly Room, a tame affair staid the dancing afterwards. I was surprised yesterday when waiting the arrival of a train to meet Harry & John Dight & Ned Rowitt who had just landed from the "Alhambra" from N.Z. they had been working up at the Lakes, before they left which they did on raising as much as paid their passages I was very glad to meet them, & so ends all Harrys & my grand hopes & expectations that we had better than two years ago poorer men & I am afraid not much wiser now than then I received a letter from Ned, he is still in Invercargill - complains of ill health, poor fellow I wish he was out of that cursed country. I fancy he will not be long before he leaves it judging from the tone of his letter. I had also a letter from Hamilton, he is still in his billet, getting on very comfortable, family all well. Jessie Flett & I have lot done [a lot] of flirting this week, scarcely a day passing without being in each others company

[Saturday, 21 May 1864 ?] May 21st 1864 A fortnight since I continued my journal negligence, emanating from from idleness, for I have plenty of time my duties at the Railway are very light, & so is my



salary. Spent the most of my spare time with Jessie Flett much to the disgust of Petherbridge who is awfully jealous of me. I can’t make her out, she encourages him & makes him believe he is not indifferent to her, but yet lavishes her love, which she does not hide, on me, I mean to leave of going with her so much for the future. I should be very sorry to be the cause of her losing such a chance of getting a good husband & a good home as she will by marrying Mr. P. she is a fine jolly girl & I like her very much, but it is impossible for me to be serious with her, in my position I feel so unsettled. God knows where I may be in a month. I may take a dislike to my present billet, & be off to China or the South Sea Islands, for all I know - Tuesday night Jessie & I went to see Barry Sullivan in "Ruhelem", he was very fine. We went to a Tea Meeting together on Wednesday & did any thing but behave ourselves

[Saturday, 28 May 1864] 127 Johnston St Fitzroy May 28th 1864 (Melbourne)

Weather very unsettled during the week, been busy at the office, having lots of vessels at the Railway Pier discharging their cargoes. I am getting better acquainted with my work but I find myself lamentably ignorant on the simplest subjects connected with mercantile routine, little boys of 13 know 10 times more than I do. Customs, Entries, B/L, Invoices Books of this & that, are all foreign to me, things I never heard about on the diggins. Tuesday being Queens Birthday was a holiday. I spent the morning in writing to Father gave him a long account of how we are situated, requesting him if in his power, to asssist us by sending mother



some money to live upon, my sisters school is not much, does not pay for the trouble attending it - In the afternoon I went to Emerald Hill, to see the Griffins spent the afternoon with them Mrs. Morris was there. Mrs. G & I managed to have a few minutes together, she is in an awful state lest our affair gets wind. I impressed upon her the necessity of behaving ourselves for the better in future - she wished to meet me again but I could not agree - I would not have gone this time but I had heard that Mr. G had said that I was not so fond of visiting him as I used to do, now he had got me into the Railway -

Last Saturday night Jessie & I took a strool together she was very cool & very strange in her behaviour to me we parted in the same spirit, no explanation being asked or given. Sunday night I met her with Mr. P. Monday night she went to a concert with him. Tuesday she went with him & spent it at his fathers house. Wednesday night I thought Id go to see her, which I did, she was very cool & distant but looked sorrowful & *conscious, she knew her behaviour must appear very cruel to me, & I fancy my looks led her to believe so, for after talking about an hour on indifferent subjects I asked her the cause of her altered manner, whether she had become engaged to Mr P & if so to tell me, she threw her arms around my neck & confessed such was the case, her friends had advised her to take the step that she had had a hard struggle to conquer her passion for me, but hoped I would forgive her, it was a most



affecting scene - for I really was spooney on Jessie - I put the best face on the matter & advised her to take the step & not to think any more of me - while we were sitting locked in each others arms Mr. P called at the door, I wiped her tears away & we had a most affectionate last silent parting at the back of the house, she was opening the front door for him to come in while I was vaulting the behind fence to get out, she spent last evening at our house till 10 pm when a message came to say that Mr. P was at Mrs. White so she went to him - We had a joyful surprise on Tuesday by my brother Edward, the long looked & anxiously waited for one came home, thank God, he is in good health & looks remarkably well & handsome - of course he has no money but I hope he will soon get something to do in Melbourne - & everything will go on well for the future he seems very unsettled & restless, & likes to be on the move he has led anything but a steady life lately, had a great many ups & downs.

May 31st 1864 Weather very fine for this time of the year. Saturday night in company with Jessie Flett, my sisters & brother Ned & I went to town, visited Paddys Market & had fine fun, on reaching home & getting rid of the others Jessie & I rambled about until nearly 12., she was agitated & I was distressed, we came to the conclusion at last just to continue for the future as friends – tho if I were to hold out any hopes & my being in a position to marry her, Im sure she would wait for me – but I have no such desire, & I do not mean to prevent



her marrying Mr. P if I can help it. Sunday morn Mary & I went to St Marks Church heard Mr. Barber preach an excellent sermon. In the afternoon we took a long walk. In the evening I did ditto. G.Kelly, an admirer of Bessies, & G.Johnston came to tea. Monday I went to Dights, found Harry & John D. were going to join an evening class at Mr. Ross’s an old officer in reduced circumstances, a nephew of Ross the Arctic Explorer, they asked me to go with them which I did. We are to meet three times a week, & learn Book Keeping & Arithmetic, terms 2/6 per week. It will tend to keep me from visiting Jessie & that is something gained, on coming home I found my mother had gone to Whytes, & I was fearful lest she might cause some unpleasentness, for she is very hot & hasty & ill brooks any slight upon any member of her family she knows how soft Jessie & I are together, but I cannot make her understand how Jessie can love me & yet be prepared to marry P. found all very composed when I got there had some supper & left about 11 pm.

June 4th.1864 Melbourne Saturday afternoon, just returned from business what different hours & what an altered life I am leading to the rough wild bush life of a few months back, if I had only a salary I could live upon I should be very comfortable, in my new life, always something or another to annoy one & make him dissatisfied



troubles of ones own making or anothers creating tho I must say from a long experience that if all our griefs sorrows & afflictions Etc could be traced to their source we should find that the majority of them are of our making - why have we all these troubles in a world where everything seems so beautifully arranged and ordered, why is human nature always so perverse and distorted, Gods highest creation & yet his meanest, when we come to analyse mans mean & pitiable mind, with all its selfishness & paltry motives - I have not seen Jessie since Tuesday night. I fancy from something I heard that my mother & her have had some words, tho’ what about I can’t make out. I may see Jessie to night & will get it out of her - Wednesday & Friday nights I spent at the Evening Class, on coming home last night found our house full of visitors, Kelly & Caffyn the great English Cricketer, among the number. I dont think he the latter is a gentleman, very little to say, but rather conceited, his great desire all the evening was to call our attention to a magnificent diamond Ring he wore – we spent a jolly evening singing & talking Etc -

Poor Ned is still doing nothing he has tried hard to get a situation, I hope he will not be so long idle, as I was, for we are very poor, I dont know how my mother keeps a home together, she is considerably in debt, my sister Mary works hard teaching & does not get well paid for that, tho she never grumbles



I do nothing to help, my salary not sufficient to keep me in food & clothes. I regret now leaving Browns, for I see little prospect of getting an increase of salary for a long while to come - I have just seen Jessie, found her greatly troubled, through me not going to see her lately, during the afternoon I had sent her a "Bouquet" she thought by me not taking it my- self I did not purpose seeing her any more, I could not ascertain what passed between my mother & her the other day. Something has been said of an unpleasent nature, I am sure. I feel very sorry , she (Jessie) told me that she had been & seen my mother during the afternoon & apologized for what she had said, what that was, I would like to know, Mrs. Whyte was out. I staid with Jessie about 3 hours. I dont know what she thinks of Mr. P- but after the demonstrations of affection she continually displays towards me, I do not envy his state of mind, that is if he is aware of our connection, & he cannot be blind to the partiality she affects for me.

[Sunday, 12 June 1864] 11 June, 1864 Sunday finished Telemachus, wish I had it to read over again, being a wet day I spent it reading Longfellows poetry. In the evening, Edward & I went to St Peters left before the sermon, having a bad headache, the effects of a severe cold I am suffering from, Monday & Tuesday evening I went to school, I am making great progress in Arithmetic & Book Keeping. Harry Dight & I are at the same desk Mr. Ross gives us the credit of being his best boys -



the other scholars are studying to pass the Civil Service examination, he wishes Harry & I to try & do likewise he thinks we would pass after another six months steady application. I pay him 2/6 per week small the sum is & I can ill afford it, so I am determined to make the best of my time in acquiring a knowledge of what I know I actually am deficient in, & not spend a lot of time in studying what is of no benefit to me, but yet necessary to have on passing the examination. Wednesday evening having had a a deal of writing to do at the office, my eyes which are very weak, being sore I did not go to Ross’ as usual, so I went into Mrs. Whyte, found Jessie very jolly entertaining a lot of company, that left shortly after my arrival, so Jessie & I were left together. I was in a nasty mood, very satirical & indulged my bent very extensively at her expense, she was all goodness & did her best to dispel my spleen, but having a presentiment Mr. P was coming, which he did at his usual hour (9.pm) after closing his shop (in Eliz St), he was shown into the parlour, Jessie & I whispering away all manner of rubbish till I left after keeping poor P. above for half an hour

On Thursday evening on arriving home my mother informed me that my brother Edward came home about noon & hastily packing up his things, bade adieu to mother & my sisters, telling them that he was sick of being idle in Melbourne, any longer he had not 1/- & mother had nothing to give him, he called on me at the office about 2 hours previous & asked me if I had any money. I had not a 6d. but told him I had a few shillings in my desk at home that he could



get if he liked, he walked out of the office without saying a word, & that is the last I saw of him, he said nothing about his going away, nor has he taken the money from my desk, he told mother he had an idea of going to Geelong or up the country with some cattle dealers - Poor Ned, I suppose he got disheartened, all of us being so very poor & not seeing or meeting with any thing in town to suit him, he feels it hard being without money, he is fond of billiards & rather prone to games of chance & skill & there are so many inducements & temptations in Melbourne, that it must have been doubly hard for him to be without money to spend than myself. I love Ned dearer than any of my of my family, having been so much together, & suffered so many hardships & privations together. I feel his loss now very acutely, feeling that it was the only chance we might ever have of getting him to ourselves & reform him & wean him from his speculative propensities I pray God to keep him, watch, & guard him from all temptations - I wish I knew which way he has gone - I hope when he returns that he will be changed for the better, he possesses the noblest attributes of a man, if only they were directed in a proper channel - would lead him to become a thoroughly good man Mother has been greatly upset since he left, he might have told his plans & where he intended going to, instead of the Cock & Bull tale he told her, she is very anxious about him & in great suspense. Friday evening I went to school home by 9.15.Pm Met Miss Rielly, who had been to



see Mother & during a conversation in which Jessies name was mentioned, Miss Reilly heard all about what passed some days ago, between them, both have hot tempers & mother provoked Jessie & she retorted Etc. I was very cross when I got home - & had some words with my mother upon the subject, for which I am very sorry for now -

[1864-06-19-Sunday] June 18th.[19th] 1864
Lovely weather during the past week, the English Mail arrived on the 12th. bringing us no letters, but a few newspapers, mother is very much cut up at my fathers neglect, he might write oftener, even if he is not in a position to send her money. Monday & Tuesday evenings I called upon Mr. Ross, but that gentleman having received a large sum of money by the last mail has been on the spree ever since & unable to give instruction in consequence, he is a man that has seen a deal of service in the navy received many wounds, fought four duels in his young days & a little drink makes him mad, he married some girl very much beneath him in position & his relations cut him, he quitted the service & came to Sydney where he obtained a Professorship in the College his besetting sin, drunkenness, was the cause of his losing that & several other situations, until he was compelled to leave Sydney, he has been but a short time in Melbourne & is at present in very poor circumstances, it is a great pity that a man possessing such talents as he does should be so devoid of self respect. Wednesday evening I spent with Jessie Flett Thursday evening Fred & I went to the Howsons Benefit



to the Theatre Royal, they performed "Der Freyshutch" & the last Act of Maritana the two Miss Hs sang very well but John Howson their uncle, who used to be considered the best Tenor in the colony, sang wretchedly he has lost his voice I feel very much for an artists downfall the house was crowded & they must receive some considerable benefit from the performance. Friday evening several visitors dropped in, sent the evening very pleasently singing Etc -

Saturday, left the office at 12 am, spent the afternoon writing & reading & gardening, spent the evening with Jessie Flett took a long walk together in the Fitzroy Gardens - 10 pm when I left her, found a very pretty girl at our house, Miss Crispen, I had to walk home with her I received a couple of newspapers from Hamilton. I am surprised he did not write -

[Sunday, 26 June 1864] June 25.[26] 1864 Weather has been unsettled during the week, very busy at the office, several large ships at the pier, my duty is to render a continual statement of goods arriving from the various ships, in the sheds so that I have a great deal of writing to do which does not improve my sight. I often feel I shall have to give up my situation in consequence. I will have to discontinue going to Ross’s for the future, for after writing at the office all day I cannot read or write at night. I went two evenings. Oh why am I so tired, me that was so ambitious & desirous of pushing myself on in the world to be thus checked at the



very outset of life by the greatest of afflictions, Melbourne observed Thursday afternoon as a holiday the funeral of a good man, the Honble. Richard Heales taken place, he had been the Chief Secretary, a temperate & able legislator & about the most honest man in the Government, respected & honored by all classes however their political tendencies may have differed from his he died at the early age of Forty two (42) the colony will miss him, I took my sisters to see the procession pass to his last resting place in the Cemetery, it was the longest ever witnessed in the Australian colony, every shop & place of business was closed, in the evening Jessie Flett & I took a walk together Friday night Fred & I went to hear the Opera of the "Prophete" performed by Lysters Opera Company. Escott & Durand sang beautifully. Squires & Wharton sang well there is some lovely music in the piece, I must try & hear it again - I received a note from H.Vickerman, he is still the same cross grained peculiar fellow as ever he was he is living at Piggotts, Long Gully Bendigo, doing nothing on the look out for a situation, poor fellow he is a cripple & he finds it hard to get into something that will suit him, he informs me Bessie Piggott is dead poor girl I remember her when she was little more than a baby 10 years ago & many a romp I have had with her, he has seen nothing of the Kings for a long time Mrs. Hooper is as jolly as ever, Lizzie is very comfortably settled, he also informs me that J.Stewart has joined the Christy Minstrels as 1st. tenor, strange the tenor that left them was the same name



Saturday evening I spent at Mrs. Whytes - Sunday morning I went to Church. In the afternoon Fred & I took a walk to the Fitzroy Gardens met my sister Mary & her friend Miss McLaurin, who induced us to extend our rambles, after tea I was surprised by my old friend James Stewart calling. I had no idea he was [in] town, he is quite a swell to what I remember him when he used to work in Bendigo Creek gold digging like myself - he informed me he has been with the Christys 3 weeks, during which time he has sang at Bendigo Castlemaine, & Geelong, causing quite a sensation with his singing, he is receiving £5 per week & all expenses paid he leaves tomorrow per Aldinga for Adelaide where they have a long engagement. I was glad to hear he has been so successful, we went to hear Dr. Cairns preach, after the service we returned home, he sang some beautiful pieces for us, "Comfort Ye" from the Messiah being, I think his masterpiece, he is much improved since last I heard him, when we used to go to Pollards together, he tells me he was an articled pupil of Pollards for 3 years -

July 1st 1864 Friday. This being a holiday (Seperation Day) & having nothing particular to do I thought I would spend a few moments in writing for the sake of practice, I have nothing of importance to note but being very methodical in my habits I like occasionally to write down an epitome of my doings & thinkings, & record whether time as been misspent or



otherwise. I seldom allow myself to commit any very heinous sins, nor yet do I give myself the credit of being particularly virtuous either in thought or deed. I have my loose lax notions on many subjects I should be [more] particular about, this is a common failing with man – has to imagine he is no worse than his neighbour - this idea is extremely foolish - thinking because there are worse in the world than yourself, that you are better than others, for we deceive ourselves awfully in thus drawing comparisons between the worst of our race instead of the better.

Monday morning I staid at home, a Swiss gentleman Mr. Tunustein spent the evening with us, Tuesday evening Fred & I went to the Theatre to hear the Inscrutable Barlow it is many years since I saw him before, & he amused me as much as ever by his comicalities. Wednesday evening I went to Ross’s Evening Class. I had to leave early, my sight not permitting me to see longer. I am afraid I must give it up. Thursday evening having an order sent me for the Theatre, I took my sister Bessie to hear the Lyster Opera troupe in "Le Prophete", the same piece I listened to with such pleasure last week. I enjoyed it much better last night - I went to the office this morning found it closed, on returning home I met the Volunteers going to Emerald Hill, a Parade or a Revue being held there I met Miss Prender and a young fellow named Henry Clark, who had just returned from NZ where I knew him slightly in Dunedin, I after parting with Miss P. I



accompanied Harry to his home, the "Fortune of War" Hotel which his mother keeps, he introduced me to his sister who invited me to a party at their house this evening. I went about 9 Pm left about 12 enjoyed myself very so so everybody being strangers to me, however I have the happy knack of making myself at home wherever I go & the rest of the company were very cross at my leaving so early -

Saturday 2nd. home early from the office, spent the afternoon reading went into Mr. Whytes in the evening - Sunday 3d Went to St Peters Church in the morning heard a sermon on the parable of the "Prodigal Son", by Mr. Handfield, remained at home in the afternoon our house being full of visitors who dropped in among the number were Mr. & Mrs. Wollaston, shipmates of ours from England, after tea H.Clark called for me & we went to the Wesleyan Church Lonsdale St. met some lady friends of his, Miss Finnagens, two sisters, whom he introduced me to, enjoyed a pleasent walk home with them. July 10th.1864 Lovely weather during the week. Very busy at the office Wednesday & this evening I spent in Whytes, Friday evening Fred & I went to the Theatre to see the play "Henry the 4th." Barry Sullivan as Hotspur & Lambert as Falstaff, it was a treat, not soon to be forgotten - Saturday afternoon, we went to St Kilda to find a Mrs. Walker who owes my mother some money, after a long walk we found her house, but were unable to get



any money from her so we had but the pleasure of our walk to compensate us for our pains - spent to day reading, went to Lonsdale St in the evening - met my new friends walked home with them - Mary & I took a walk in the afternoon, met George Ramsden, who came home to tea with us -

July 17th.1864 Weather very cold, but tolerably fine on the whole, The E Mail arrived at the beginning of the week, & as usual brought us nothing from father, but a few newspapers it is not the thing him not writing if even unable to send mother any money, she feels his neglect in this respect bitterly, it appears to me very unnatural that they should be so separated in their old age - I have no patience with my father I know of no plea that could exonerate him in the course he has taken a man with his abilities & such a thorough knowledge of business ought to be in an independent position if he had remained in the colony, & not have been idle I am sick of thinking upon the subject

Tuesday & Thursday evening I spent at Finlays, several amateur vocalists there, managed to make time pass pleasently singing. I have been several times into Mrs. Whytes, she is very anxious about her "gude mon" who is in N.Z. & is expected home daily. This evening Jessie & I took a long strool together talking on indifferent subjects Friday night Fred & I went to see B.Sullivan in the play of "Love" a beautiful piece, but excessively romantic & overdrawn & bordering on the improbable. Sullivan was



was grand in the character of Huon

July 23, 1864 Weather very unsettled, the beginning of the [week] being ushered in with heavy rains to such an extent that the River Yarra overflowed its banks, all the low ground about Richmond being covered with water scores of houses distroyed between town & Emerald Hill the road was impassable,. the township with its 10,000 inhabitants being completely severed from Melbourne by a sea of waters, a vast amount of property has been distroyed in consequence of this flood the company I am employed by are great losers, traffic being suspended for a while. In the Dpt. I am engaged in suffers, all the clerks sitting looking at each other - doing nothing I am happy to state the flood is subsiding now, when I hope to see everything go on as usual next week. Last Sunday being wet I never stirred out of the house, Monday evening I remained at home - Tuesday evening I spent at H.Dights, on arriving home found our house full of visitors, who stayd till late, Wednesday night I spent at Whytes till 10 pm, Thursday night I went to St Kilda to try & get some money from Mrs. Walker, succeeded with a deal of trouble in getting settled with her. I wrote to Harry Vickerman, last Monday, on Bendigo enquiring whether he had heard or seen anything of my brother Edward it is very unnatural on his part, not writing & letting us know where he is. Mother is continually anxious



about him. I have received no reply from Harry as yet to my communication - I went out this afternoon about 4 Pm for a strool met my sisters in town walked home with them, called at the Telegraph Office, to see if the Alhambra was in sight, Mr. Whyte is expected from N.Z. in her -

[Saturday] 30th July 1864 Weather fine. Busy at the office. Last Sunday afternoon I took a strool about Fitzroy Gardens, met G. Ramsden came home and had tea with me after which, we went to Lonsdale St Church, heard an awful long sermon, which George said had no limit to it & thanked God audibly when it came to an end, an old lady in the pew, who heard seemed so shocked & drew in her skirts as if their contact with such wicked wretches as us, would damn her, we saw the Miss Fannagans home, & accompanied George a little way home afterwards, I receivd a long letter from Harry Vickerman, he has heard nothing of Ned. I think he must have left the colony, Harry & a lot of friends have been out to Bullock Creek, a long account about the Piggotts a long account about his sister Lizzie & her husband, Uncle, he informs me, is still in St Australia, Martha is likely soon to give birth to another little ‘Smith’. I have been into Whytes several times, Mr. W. came home last Sunday to the unspeakable joy of Mrs. W. & little ones, I notice great preperations going on for the approaching wedding which is to come off on the 11th.August,. Friday night I spent at Finlays "squalling" with several others there



[Sunday, 31 July 1864] Sunday. Last night I went into Whytes. Jessie was all alone. We had a long talk about things past present & future, bade her adieu, as I dont intend seeing her again if I can help it before she is married - I am getting sick of Melbourne, my salary is so small & I see very little chance of promotion that even if a vacancy occur there are so many who have a prior right to it, that my case seems hopeless, my clothes are getting shabby & I dont know how I can procure new ones. I have been thinking very seriously of going to the diggings again but when I suggest such a thing at home, my family go on so that I am obliged to abandon the idea. I went for a walk this afternoon with Harry Clark, after tea we went to Church heard the Revd Joseph Dare preach an excellent sermon, after which we met the Misses Fannagans, jolly girls, we accompanied them home. [Saturday, 6 August 1864] August 7th 1864 Weather very fine. Been disgusted all the week by my mother & sisters accounts of Jessie Fletts wedding preperations, every day my ears have been pestered with accounts Bonnets, Laces, Flowers, Mantles Dresses Etc Etc. I never hear anything about the ceremony its seriousness & responsibilities Etc it is nothing but vanity, vanity, How shall I look! What a stir! what



will people say! & think! everything is to be on a grand scale, wedding breakfast, wedding or bridal tour My God! What a different prospect of waiting to become my wife, whatever can have made Jessie so thoroughly worldly & craving for display, she that is so naturally simple in her tastes and desires she that professed such contempt for such things, & was always so sarcastic & bitter in her remarks to any who she met that happened to be fond of parade & show my sister Bessie is to be one of her Bridesmaids. Mother & Mary are going to the wedding I am invited but I wont go - Wednesday evening I spent at Finlays Thursday evening I went to Harry Clarks mothers who made me very welcome, Miss C. sings & plays, so I managed to pass a pleasent evening Friday night I went to see Barry Sullivan in the play of “Hunchback” This afternoon, Saturday, I went to the Public Library read for a couple of hours, went into a Barbers shop & had my hair cut, coming home, the Barber is a phrenologist & passed a fine eulogium upon my perecraniums. I had a fine bit of fun out of him

August 14th. 1864 The weather has been very unsettled during the week Miss Flett was married on Thursday after the ceremony was over her husband & self, went to Geelong, to spend their honeymoon. We were surprised on Wednesday by my couzin Mary Ann Peat paying us a visit, her



husband & self have been living in Launceston the last 7 years and are now going to Adelaide to settle down. Peat left on Friday morning. Mary Ann is going to Bendigo to see Harry & Liz before she goes she has been staying with us. Tuesday we received a short note from my brother Ned, he is living at a place called Havelock in the province of Marlborough N.Z how on earth he found his way there God only knows, for he does not inform us, he states that he is in a situation & getting good wages, but he does not think it will be very permanent - I trust he will keep steady & will not be so foolish in the future as in the past, poor old fellow, it is quite a relief of my mind to know that he is alive & well. I went to the Theatre with Fred on Tuesday night to see Lady Don who has lately returned from England after conveying the body of her husband home who died in “Hobart Town” she has improved very much in her acting but I dont think her vocal powers are so good as when I last heard her before going to N.Z. Friday night I went to hear the opera of “Trovatoria” & a part of the “Lily of Killarney,” Beaumont our rising Melbourne artiste singing the tenor in the latter in a style which bids soon to rival Squires in popularity. Last night I took



my cousin to the Haymarket Theatre to see the Burlesque Lady Don playing the principal character, much to our amusement, got wet through coming home. To day (Sunday) Mary, my cousin, & I took a walk to the *University Grounds. They are nicely laid out & serve as a charming promenade for the residents in the neighbourhood after tea I went to Chapel met a young lady friend there & saw her home - Yesterday afternoon Bessie & I & my cousin went to the Library & spent a couple of hours there -

August 21st.1864 Weather very unsettled. Mary Ann left us on Monday for Bendigo where she intends remaining for a few days with her sister Lizzie Tuesday evening my sister Mary & I spent at Harry Clarks mothers, came home early people being there I did not much like Wednesday I styd at home Thursday evening I spent at Finlays. Friday he called for me & I accompanied him to the B.S. Chapel Choir of which he is a member, heard some good singing, the two Miss Reeves, who sing there have excellent voices Fanny the alto is well worth hearing Saturday afternoon I spent at home doing odd jobs about the house In the evening Miss McLauren called & I had to see her home she is getting intolerable expects me to trot about with her, in fact asks to see her home. I for the future when she visits us intend to be absent, on leaving her last night I



went to the Haymarket Theatre, met Fred, Finlay & H.Clark there. The Howsons & Lady Don playd a piece called the Black Domain in which are introduced some fine songs - after which Lady Don introduced three of her Grand Tableaux, the “Dth of Nelson” “Rory Ontore” & the McGregors Gathering, the first she sang in a style that has never been surpassed in the colonies. The Theatre was crowded to excess we had to stand up half the time. This morn I spent at home reading the newspaper. In the afternoon Mary & I took a walk, came on to rain, met G Johnston who came home to tea with us - after which I went to Wesley Church met Miss F & saw her home - on arriving home I found Tom Kelly at our house & two other gentlemen friends of my sisters -

August 28th.1864
Weather very wet & disagreeable during the last few days, rather strange Wednesday morning was very frosty, & at night a phenomenon occurred which was a sight very singular to see, a Rainbow Monday & Tuesday nights I remained at home Wednesday I went to the Theatre Royal to see the play of “Guy Mannering” performed. J Howson took the part of “Bertram” which disappointed me he has been a good singer, but has not the shadow



of a voice left his acting was on a par with his singing very mediocre. Thursday evening Mary went to a party given by Mr Gotch of Et Melbourne I had to go for her at 11 Pm in the meantime Miss McLauren [called] & I was obliged to see her home (4 miles very much against my inclination the consequence was I was very tired on arriving at Gotchs where I was pressed to remain which I did, & enjoyed myself first rate Mr. Gotchs brother, William, was leaving the colony for England the following day - & the party was given in his honour, they came out to Melbourne seven years ago & have been very fortunate in business as News Agents in Collins St Mr. G & wife are exceedingly nice people - it was 5 am next morning when we got home Saturday I got home at 1 Pm spent the afternoon chopping wood & doing jobs about the house Last night Fred & I took a walk into town met Miss Prendor walked home to Richmond with her Spent to day (Sunday) at home, reading Etc, In the evening Harry Clark called for me, had tea at his house, from there we went to Wesley Church, heard a long dry sermon that I dont think profited us

[1864-09-04] Sept 4th 1864 Miserable weather, every other day raining Been very busy at the office several large ships discharging - I have applied to the Secretary



for an increase of salary I trust I may be successful for my present salary is not as much has many a lad gets I have spent most of my evenings away from home. Tuesday evening Fred & I went to the Theatre to hear a new tenor singer who calls himself Signor Castelli from the Conservitoire de Paris) he is a good age, & might at one time have possessed a good voice, but has not much of it left, yet I must say that he is without exception the most finished artiste that has ever visited these shores - I hear that Castelli is only an assumed name & that he is staying in the colony for the good of his health where he purposes commencing to teach music & I have no doubt that he will do well. I wish I had the means to go to him for lessons - Lady Don & the sisters Howsons sang well the same evening altogether I have seldom spent a pleasenter time Thursday evening Fred & I went to a Concert at St Georges Hall in aid of the Shakesperian fund all the music that was sung were incidental to his plays, all were amateurs with Miss O.Hamilton who performed. I was sorry to see such poor attendance considering the object of the concert, the erection of a Statue to the Poets memory. Friday evening Finlay called & I went with him to the B.St



Wesley Church Choir, on leaving there I went to H.Clarks house for my sister Mary who had been spending the evening with Miss. C. Last night Fred & I went to the Theatre. This morning I went to the Roman Catholic Chapel Eliz St & heard the choir sing Mozarts 12th Mass which was sung very well In the afternoon In company with Finlay & H.Clark, I went to Sandridge enjoyed the sea breeze after tea I went to Wesley Church Lonsdale St on my arrival home I found several friends & acquaintances here among the number J.J. Clark who has been absent from our house through some disagreement with my sister, they appear to understand each other pretty well now - I must talk to him, for I dont intend allowing him to dally on much further with my sister without some understanding from him in reference to his intentions towards her - My cousin Mary Ann Peat returned from Bendigo last Monday & left the next day for Adelaide in the ‘S.S Coorong’

[1864-09-11] Sept 11th 1864 The weather has been delightfully pleasent during the past week. I have been very unwell lately suffering from a severe cold I must have caught last Sunday evening, violent headache & pains in my body & limbs have been my fate to bear, the past few days - Tuesday evening I spent at Finlays. Wednesday evening in company with a fellow clerk of mine (F Rooke) the only one in the Rly Cos employ that



I have, as yet, fraternized with) went to the Theatre to see Lady Don in Burlesque. Friday night my brother Fred & I went for a strool about town Thursday night we went to hear an eccentric character named Wemys Jobson at St Georges Hall deliver his political opinions, which amounted to nothing but “bosh” he is lately from England or America where he gained a not very enviable rep- -utation as an historian & political scribbler - & also for publishing a libel against a nephew of the “Duke of Wellington” which cost him two years liberty - his views on matters of reform which was his principal theme, I think are sound, but rather too Utopian for practical purposes - he managed to be nominated as a fit & proper person to represent us in Parliament tho I am sure he will not number with the successful ones - Saturday evening I went to town met F.Rooke who insisted upon me going to the Theatre Royal, which I did but as we could not find standing room, being so crowded, we soon left & went to the Haymarket I met Harry Dight on coming out, walked home together, he is doing nothing, but making love at present - This morning, Sunday, Taggart & I went to the Roman Catholic Chapel heard some good singing - came away as the sermon commenced been raining ever since, not been out. Several visitors in the evening called but did not stay long



Sept 18th.1864 Weather very unsettled one day hot & the next wet & cold. Spent the week as usual, drudging away at the office, from 9 am on to 5 Pm. find it very irksome being accustomed to so much excitement. Tuesday night I went to town met Jms Stewart, tenor in the “Christy Minstrels” who had just returned from Adelaide where they have had a successful tour, he left for Bendigo the next morning, they have taken the Princess Theatre for a short, time & opened last night, Jim returning only in time to appear. I went to hear the Band who sing first rate, their part music has never been equalled in the colony. Jim sang very well, his style & voice is much admired in musical circles, he is greatly improved since I last heard him. Thursday night I went to Harry Clarkes, home by 10 Pm found Geo Kelly & J.J.Clark at our house - I spoke to the later about his intentions to my sister Mary but could get nothing satisfactory from him, nor can I make her out, they seem to understand each- -other, which is more than any one else can. I only hope it will be all right in the end. Friday night Fred & I went to see Mr. & Mrs Cases Entertainment at the Polytechnic Hall. Sunday, spent the morn & afternoon at home reading. In the evening I went to St Peters Church, met J.Stewart there, who came away together, home with me & spent the evening singing for us -



Sept 25th 1864 Melbourne Weather very unsettled one day fine & the next wet & so on Etc. Spent my time much as usual one place or another Two of my evenings I spent in listening to the Christy Minstrels Monday night Fred Rooke (a fellow clerk of mine, & the only one that I am at all familiar with) came home from the office with me after tea we went to the Theatre & knocked about together nearly all night. Last night my brother Fred & I went to the Theatre This morning I met F.Rooke & we went to the Catholic chapel, the attraction being to hear an old favourite, (Julia Mathews that was) Mrs. Mumford, sing. I have not heard her since I left N.Z. where she was playing when I was there her voice has much improved, she sang a splendid solo from some Mass, at its conclusion F.R. accompanied me home & spent the rest of the day at our house, visiting Fitzroy Gardens in the afternoon & St Peters Church in the evening after which I walked a part of the way home with Lizzy. I received a long letter during the week from my friend Hamilton enclosed in it was a "Carte de Visite" of Mrs. H. & himself taken together, both excellent likenesses J.H. informs me that my old employer Field is nearly received in consequence of the



the great falling off in business when he formerly employed four he has only a small boy to assist him now. I feel sorry for him, for he was a decent fellow, that is when he is not ruled by his wife whom I shall always feel a detestation towards Beckingsal is still in Dunedin. I saw H.Dight one day last week, he had just received a letter from T.Downs, in Dunedin, in which he states that he had seen my brother Edward, who had left Havelock (the place where we last heard from him) as usual he was hardup. T.D. had lent him £2.0.0 to enable him to go up the country I dont know what to make of him always unsettled & roaming in his habits. I am sadly afraid that he will come to no good, he has got into such loose & irregular habits -

October 2 1864 Weather tolerably fair but far from being settled I have been a good boy this week - only out one night, when I accompanied F Rooke home to his house, when I was introduced to his mother (a widow lady) & also to his brothers. They appear to be a very united happy & respectable family They were exceedingly kind & hospsitable & made me very welcome We spent the evening in singing, & playing Cards, being very sociable, I staid all night with them, enjoyed my walk



from St Yarra through the Observatory Reserve next morning. Friday night my sisters went to a party at Mr. Gotchs. I went for them about 11 Pm. & was induced to remain until 1 Oclock spending the time very pleasently - Saturday afternoon remained at home reading I went for a strool into town in the evening came on to rain about 9 & was not long after in reaching home - This morning Friday called for Fred & I & he went together to the Catholic Chapel. Julia Mathews was singing again there - In the afternoon Miss McLauran called, did not stay long, I walked to Nt Melbourne with her, to Mr Gel the Solicitor where she is living as Governess - I went to St Peters in the evening, on arriving home I found several visitors at our house as usual -

Oct 9th.1864 Wet miserable weather, the River Yarra is flooded higher than I ever saw it before, the road to Emerald Hill being unpassable. Busy at the Railway several large ships discharging. Time spent more at home than usually, reading & writing Etc Monday night I went to see H Dight he is very ill laid up in bed, the Doctors think it doubtful whether he will recover



poor fellow I am sorry for him, he looked horribly bad. I have heard since that he is likely to recover Yesterday afternoon Finley & Stewart called spent about three hours or so singing & playing In the evening I went to town for my usual strool met several I knew among the number John King, his father having sent him from Bendigo to Melbourne to try & get a situation, he is a wild beggar & I am afraid unless he changes for the better he will come to no good. This morning Fred & Ambler & I went to the Catholic Chapel as soon as Mass was over we walked away feeling doubtful whether we should be profited by remaining for the sermon Spent the afternoon reading, went to St Peters church in the evening took a long walk afterwards. I wrote a long letter to Hamilton on Friday -

- - - - - - Oct 23 1864 A fortnight since I wrote up this wretched apology for a journal, being far from a pleasure to continue, many times Im tempted to discontinue it being aimless & objectless, it may serve to serve who may read it as a warning to endeavour to avoid leading such a useless life as I have done. I am still at the Rly. hoping



to get on better than I have hitherto done - I find it very hard work, uneducated, & inexperienced in the line I am in, to keep pace with others – who do not suffer from my disadvantages. I would not remain a day in Melb. if it was not for the sake of my family - We have heard nothing from Edward since I last wrote. The English Mail arrived on the 13th inst. bringing us a long letter from my father, containing very sad news, the death of my fathers eldest brother Henry & my dear Uncle who from his kind & benevolent disposition was endeared by all who knew him, he had been preaching the day before & afterwards, was taken ill with violent pains in the stomach & died amongst strangers, his wife being at home in Brighton, where they resided, at the time, immediately on hearing of the death my father proceeded at once to preside at the funeral ceremony. On referring to his papers it was found that 22 years before his death, he had executed a will leaving £400 to an Asylumn for aged people – & the residue of his property at his wifes disposal but some 3 years ago, he drew out another will (which unfortunately for us, was never signed by him), in which he left myself, brothers & Sisters a handsome legacy & the remainder to my father. However it was not to be, so we are not benefitted by his death in a pecuniary sense. His wife of course knew what his latest wishes were in the disposal of his property & if she acts conscientiously, she must



carry out his wishes, but from all accounts that I hear of her, I believe her to be a very selfish woman, tho’ she has property of her own. I would not be surprised that she leaves my Uncles with it [wealth] to strangers, for she never had much love for his relatives, so its entirely a matter of whim or caprice, if we ever get a penny of what my Uncle left, Tho to judge by the tone of my fathers remarks on the subject he is sanguine that she will dispose of the property to our advantage I trust she may, but I should be disappointed should it turn out otherwise. She is very old upwards of 80 years & is I am informed very much influenced by some very distant relatives of her own - My poor Uncle. I am sadly grieved at his death, for if ever there was a good kind Christian man in existence I am sure he was one he was the only relation of my fathers that I remember in England. I shall never forget his kindness to me when a boy in London, he used to take my me by the hand & lead me through Londons labyrinth of streets, pointing out to me all the remarkable spots that that great city abounds in, relating stories & anecdotes of great & good men, who had lived in time gone bye, he took me to the Tower of London, British Museum, Westminster Abbey National Gallery, in fact every where & to every place worth seeing & visiting & always with a view to my amusement & instruction I remember how earnest he used to be in impressing upon me the importance of application



in whatever I wished to know & learn & in the strict observance of the Sabbath & the cultivation of Christian principles Alas! what barren ground the seeds of his goodness fell in -

- - - - - I purpose writing to my father by next mail I went to a party at Gotchs on Wednesday week enjoyed myself very much. I called on H.Dight several times & I am happy to know that he is recovering rapidly. Last night I took [a strool] into town, met J King he has found employment at last, in a Carriage Factory

Oct 30th.1864 Weather has been very changeable but pretty fine on the whole. We are rather slack at the Railway this being the Wool season, most of the ships go to the Victorian Rly Pier where they get their home loading quicker than at our pier - & more convenient for the Shipping. Spent every evening at home with the exception of last night when I went to the Hay Market Theatre to hear the Opera of Maritana, performed in rather an unusual manner, Lady Don taking the part of Don Ceaser & Emma Howson as the Gypsy, they sang the music tolerably well, but I have seen them both in characters I liked much better, as a rule I dont care for women playing mens parts. Fred Rooke called for me this morning, & we went to St Peters Church together, on leaving there we came home



& he staid dinner & tea at our house, we took a walk in the Gardens during the afternoon & in the evening we went to the Wesleyan Church, Lonsdale St, heard the Revd. Joseph Dare preach a splendid sermon, at its conclusion we met the three Miss Finnegans & accompanied them home. I had not seen them for a couple of months & they were under the impression I had left Melbourne, one of them Bessie is very pretty nice mannered ladylike girl. A Mr. Chiek joined our party so we were equally paired 10 Pm when we parted having taken a long walk together - on leaving them I accompanied Fred a part of his way home

- - - - - - - - Novr.6th.1864 The weather is still unsettled, one day very hot & the next cold & showery. Still dull at the Rly, I am at present doing the duty of a clerk who receives twice my salary he having broken his arm, of course seeing me able to do his work, my employers will perhaps view an application for an increase of salary more favourably than before - & so I live & linger on in hope, its very hard spending ones best years working for nothing, its not like a gold digging when one never knows the day a fortune might be dropt upon. Town has been very busy during the week in consequence of the Elections, the members returned appear to be popular, how long they will remain so rests with time to show. I went to the Theatre Royal



Royal with Fred one night to see “Jefferson” the great American actor in the play “American Cousin” he is without exception the best actor in his line that ever appeared in this country so quiet so dignified so unaffected, so free from rant, & cant, & with all so very natural, that one cannot help feeling that he is the greatest natural actor of the day. I spent a very pleasent evening at a Mrs. McDonalls, friends of my sisters, playing cards, singing Etc winding up with an excellent supper. We have had a great many visitors during the week - I took a strool yesterday afternoon in company with Richard Ryland (a lad about 17 who is living with us, he is learning the wholesale drapery business at Paterson Ray & Palmers, his father has a large Drapery establishment at Castlemaine,) we visited the City Buffet Menagerie which contains a Lion & lioness, a Panther & several Monkeys - In the evening I took a walk about town in company with Harry Clark met some young lady friends & walked home with them Wednesday being a holiday, Ryland & I went to see a Regatta on the Saltwater River at Footscray. The sports I thought were very poor. I got more amusement in watching the people, & enjoying the chagrin & disappointment of those visitors to "Aunt Sallys" Thimble Rigging & Card Sharping Etc & such like. I went to St Peters this morning, & in the evening to the Wesley Church Lonsdale St where I met F.Rookes & the Miss Finnegans whom I went home with -



20 Novr. 1864 Melbourne A fortnight, since I continued my journal, now that I have resumed it I have nothing very interesting to note. The weather has been very hot. The Mail came in on the 12th bringing us a letter from my father he is pretty well in health, he informs me that he is going to send me £50 by the next Mail, it isnt much but I shall be very thankful for it, & I will make the best use possible of it. He has been to Leceister to see my Uncle Joseph, & father thinks they will be able to hit it better together for the future than they formerly, (the fact is I believe my Uncle Joe is disgusted with the manner my father has acted in leaving his family & that sort of thing) my father thinks it very unfortunate Uncle Joe getting married, that it will affect our prospects I feel, myself, sure. My Sundays spent as usual, between St Peters & the Wesley Church I spent two evenings at the Choir of Brunswick St Chapel have also visited the Dights several times. Fred & I went to hear Mr. & Mrs G.Case, in one of their pleasing protean entertainments. Very slack still at the office, tho we have some prospect of being busy next week, several large ships having arrived the past few days There is disgraceful Divorce Case at present going on in the Supreme Court, which is the town talk Judge Molesworth versus his wife, he charges her with adultery, the corespondent being no less a person than Ireland the Ex Solicitor General. The revelations



being made reflect very little credit on all concerned I never heard such a disgraceful case in my life such thorough badness & immorality, between people holding such high positions in society -

[Sunday, 11 December 1864 ?] - - - - - - - Decr.10th 1864 Three weeks since I continued my journal, not having anything of interest to note I suppose must be excuse. We have been very busy at the Railway I met an old friend last week Christian Foyne he had just returned from Europe having been absent Ten months during which time he has visited different parts of the Continent enjoying himself very much, he has spent one or two evenings at our house he brought me out a fine Book “Many thoughts of Many Minds” a useful *work of reference & full of beautiful extracts from the best Authors. I have knocked & visited about a great deal since I last wrote, spent three evenings at Finleys, & many nights at Clarks “Fortune of War” Hotel. Went once more to hear the "Cases" & last night Fred & I went to see the Lentons Acrobatic Troupe perform at the HayMarket Theatre they surpass everything of the sort that has been in Victoria They do some extraordinary Gymnastic Feats. Last Tuesday night I went home to dinner with F.Rooke, (the family is living on Emerald Hill) after which he took me to see some friends of his named "Tranworths" with whom



we spent a delightful evening with. Wednesday evening I went to a Meeting at St Georges Hall to hear some Moravian Missionaries who have arrived lately in the Colony with a view to visit the interior of Australia & establish a Mission Station at Coopers Creek - The place was well filled, the Bretheren stated their views on the subject, their object being to Christianise the Aborigines I wish them every success - but I expect little except the[y] go well provided with plenty of Tobacco, Blankets Trinkets Etc as an inducement - however there is a fine field for their labour, & I have no doubt it will prove a good thing for the advanced settlers -

I have read a great deal lately one work especially that calls for some notice, creating as it has some sensation among the reading community Rehnans "Life of Jesus", rather a well written work decidedly Unitarian in its principles, tho’ I hear the Author is a Jew. He believes that such a man as Jesus existed & proves him to be the best man that ever lived & one that endeavoured, & succeeded, in propogating the present & most sublime doctrines, (but will not admit of his divinity). In alluding to John the Baptist he endeavours to trace an analogy between his doctrine & that of the Buddists who are also Baptists. Rehan, also alludes to collusion on Johns part with Jesus, his arguments for the case being in my opinion very weak, he alludes to Jesus being very extravagant in his language & ideas & his continual denouncement against the exalted in life & station, a Rich man cannot enter



the Kingdom of Heaven, being one of his illustrations & that the bitterness of his life was only rendered tolerable by the idealities of his teachings - & also, That Jesus never dreamt of making himself pass for an incarnation of Gods is a matter there can be no doubt (as per Rehnan.) for there is no trace of it in the synoptical gospels of Matthew & Mark, such an idea can only be found in John which cannot be expected as presenting the thoughts of Jesus. Rehnan states for three centuries considerable of the most enlightened Christians did not believe in Jesuss' royal descent – & doubted the authenticity of the genealogies. Rehan calls Jesus a Demigod & not altogether sinless he thinks that many of his qualities are lost to us through the fault of his disciples & that it is very probable many of his faults & failings have been concealed, he alludes to the exaggeration of our ideas in not looking upon Jesus as a man, but a better one than ourselves. He says "Mankind shows an assemblage of low selfish beings & superior to the animal only in that its selfishness is more reflective From the midst of this uniform mediocrity there are pillars that rise towards the skies & bear witness to a nobler destiny. Jesus is the highest of these pillars, which show to man whence he comes & whither he ought to tend. In him



was condensed all that is good & elevated in our nature, he was not sinless but simply conquered the same passions we combat - by doing this he became the author of these extraordinary monuments which have decided the fate of humanity. The Angel that comforted him was his own good conscience, no Satan tempted him but that which every man carries with him - He says that Christs sermon on the mount can never be surpassed, & that the he founded the present worship of all ages & of all lands, that which all elevated souls will practise until the end of time, the Religion of Humanity. Jesus gave Religion to Humanity as Socrates gave it Philosophy & Aristotle Science - Rehran looks upon upon the Gospel of St John as very egotistical, bringing himself forward whenever occasion offers, making himself the beloved of Christ. He thinks Mathew & Mark the best gospels to arrive at a correct estimate of Jesus life that of St Luke having been written from the dictation of St Peter - Rehran in alluding to the miracles treats them as absurdities, & is very weak & lame in his arguments against them - I have been informed that he is one of the clerical scholars of the day, his reading must have been extensive, for he quotes about 40 Authors contemporaries with Jesus. In conclusion it is a work that may affect some minds, but by others it will be treated with contempt, especially such ideas as to Jesus death & resurrection being nothing but a *tradition



& that of the raising of Lazarus to the same cause & on the whole it is a very unsatisfactory work to an enquirer after truth -

18th Decr 1864
Lovely weather during the past few days but rather warm, Spent my leisure on the whole very pleasently, been out somewhere every evening. The English Mail arrived last Monday, it brought a letter from my father enclosed in it was a Draft for £50.0.0 payable to myself, with a hope that I would make good use of it. I drew £10 of it a part of which I gave to mother. The remainder I spent on necessaries I was greatly in need of - The balance I intend leaving in the Bank - my Father was very well in health when he wrote, his letter was a long [one] & contained plenty of news about relations, but nothing of any consequence. Tuesday evening having had tickets sent us, Bessie & I went to hear Mr & Mrs G.Case in their pleasing entertainment. Yesterday afternoon there was a Grand Open Air Promenade Concert held in the Botanical Gardens, to which in company with my sisters Mr. J.J.Clark & F.Rooke, I went to hear the day was fearfully hot, & the distance long which somewhat marred our enjoyment. Some of the best vocalists in the Colony were singing,



Farquharson, the two Howsons Lady Don, Mdm Stutterford O.Hamilton, Sara Mortley & several others who acquitted themselves very creditably. I met a great many people I knew, among the number the Rekowskis, Agnes whom I had not seen for 3 years is married to a Mr. W.Dalrymple, she is very much altered, she took me for Fred. On arriving home & after tea, I & F Rooke took a strool choosing for our promenade the usual Saturday evening one with Melb’ loungers – , Bourke St, where I fell in with my friend Harry Clarke, & accompanied him into the Temple of Pomona "Restaurant" where we indulged in apple puff & Coffee which upon discussing with other light subjects we adjourned to our respective homes. I went to St Peters this morning, in the afternoon I went out for [a] walk & got caught in a smart shower getting nearly wet through before reaching shelter. I went to the Brunswick St Wesley Chapel in the evening

Sunday Decr.25th.1864 (X Day) Lovely weather during the week. I trust it will continue so for a few days longer, until the holidays are over so as to allow the pleasure seeking a chance of enjoying themselves. Nothing but Picnics, Balls, Parties, & Pleasure are talked about – for my own part, I have not bothered myself much about what I intend doing, my sisters & self received an invitation from Ramsden



to join the picnic he is getting up for to- -morrow, which I believe, by all accounts, is to be a grand affair We ought to consider ourselves fortunate, in being invited, having no bother & no expense, & conveyance provided Etc -

We have been very busy at the Railway. I am happy to state I have, at last, got a recognised billet, having so far only been in a probationary state, my office now is that of measuring Clerk, in the Goods Dept. a poor billet, but I must keep it till something better turns up -

Monday evening last, I went to a very Jolly Tea-Meeting at the Wesley School Room B.St. got introduced to a lot of nice people, heard some tolerably good singing, among the performers I noticed one fine voice of Fanny Reeves an acquaintance of mine, who has one of the best Contralto voices I have heard. I heard her again at the Exhibition Building, William St when the Messiah was being performed a Mrs. Tester (sang the principal Sophano Solos), a lady that has had a magnificent voice by all accounts, but its lost its freshness & is now rather wiry & old - at least I thought so) F.Reeves sang the Alto Solos very well, considering her youth & first appearance, especially "Oh thou that tellest" which brought down the house. I did not stay the latter part, for meeting F.Rooke & his friend



Mr. Chancellor I accompanied them to see a fire in Et Melb’ where I lost them in the crowd - Thursday evening in company with Sarah Clarke I spent at Roberts, a family I am slightly acquainted with, who live in Napier St Fitzroy. Saturday morning on leaving the office at 12 I met Mrs. Dalrymple while chatting with her, F.Rooke came by when I left her & accompanied him to see the new warehouse of L.Stevensons & Sons that is now just finished in Flinders Lane. It is the largest & best finished & fitted up place of business in Australia after an hours inspection, we left & then went to the Public Library in Swanston St to see the new Picture Gallery that had just been opened to the public for the first time, I noticed some fine pictures that have just arrived from England where they had been purchased by a committee appointed for the purpose. The pictures I thought most worthy of note were "The Departure of the Pilgrim Fathers" & "J.Bunyon reading the Bible (or else his Pilgrims Progress) to the prisoners in Bedford Jail" There were several colonial productions which suffered considerably, by being placed side by side with some of the works of good masters. I think a Gallery of this description is a step in the right direction & will tend to do much in improving as well as refining the morals & tastes of the people of Melbourne - This morning in company



with my brother Fred, I went to the Roman Catholic Chapel, heard the choir sing Mozarts Twelfth Mass, the Adestes Fideles also the Hallelujah Chorus, very effectively. My sister Bessie & I took a walk in the afternoon & in the evening I went to Brunswick St. Chapel

- - - - - - Jany 1st.1865 (News Years Day) The weather has been very hot during the past few days, very fortunately so for the pleasure seekers, who form a *numerous body this time of the year. Monday morning (8 am. in company with my two sisters, I went to S.Ramsdens house on the Heidelberg road where we met a number of people who had been invited, like ourselves, to join Mr. Rs Pic Nic,. about 50 people in all started, some in vehicles of their own & others in ones provided by the worthy Host, among the latter I numbered after a pleasent drive of an hour or so, we arrived at the place appointed near the village of Heidelberg in a lovely spot commanding an extensive view of the surrounding neighbourhood, where we spent a most delightful day a large Marquee had been erected, a Band of Musicians provided, along with every luxury of



of the season in the way of eatibles & drinkables, every thing in profusion, such as only wealth could supply. The day was passed as usual on such occasions, Dancing, Singing Romping, Racing, Swinging, Flirting Etc Etc Etc which we kept up until 7 Pm, when tired fatigued, but on the whole very jolly, we all started for home, reached Ramsdens house about 8.30. where *our tea had been provided which after its discussion, & feeling somewhat refreshed, we got up a dance afterwards & kept it up till 12 Pm, when regularly worn out we made for home, next day I felt fearfully reluctant to have to go to business, but there was no help for it, Stiff & tired, the day seemed terribly long & I thought 5 pm would never come

Thursday night I went to the Pantomine at the HayMarket Theatre, Lady Don, Emma Howson & the Lenton Troupe Acrobats, all taking part in it such a collection of artistes, making it one if not the best performances of the kind ever given in Victoria

Last evening I went down the town, met a lot of young fellows, with whom I knocked about for some two hours, finding they were getting rowdy, T.Trotter & I left them & falling in with a couple of girls we knew



we saw them home - staid a couple of hours with them, after having a great lark found ourselves on leaving the house about 2 am this morning in deserted streets we bade each other adieu & soon reached my home -

I went to St Peters this morning. In the afternoon I went to the Fitzroy Gardens (the usual Sunday lounge & rendezvous) met a number I knew. Harry Clark came home to tea with me after which we went to the Brunswick St Chapel, at the conclusion of the service we walked home with Fanny Reeves & her sister they are very plain looking girls, but very pleasent we promised to meet them to morrow at the Sunday School picnic, at Studley Park.

I have met a number of old Bendigo acquaintances, this week, who take advantage of the cheap fares, this time of the year, to visit Melb, among the number, Lockey Frazer, who is not altered in the slightest. Bob Hooper has grown quite a man, John Drysdale I met, he has made his fortune on Bendigo & many others I met who have done well since I left there, most of whom regret that I ever left the dirty old place for had I staid they believe I would have got on however I left it for the best, as I thought at



the time God only knows whether it will prove so in the end. I received a long letter on Friday from my old friend J.Hamilton informing me that his wife has presented him with another youngster - he still writes in the same old merry jolly never say die sort of strain but towards the end (the last three years at all events) he gets serious & winds up with a sermon & by entreating me to accept Christ as my Saviour this is the only subject that I think Jim is not sincere upon, I hope I am wrong, but I really cannot fancy he is so Christian like in the true spirit as he makes himself out to be. I dont like doubting his profession, & if I was asked why I did so, I could not give a reason for my opinion

Jany 8th.1865 Beautiful weather. spent my time pretty Jollily Monday last, being a holiday, I went in company with Harry Clark & his sister Sarah to Studley Pk where we fell in with the Miss Reeves & several other acquaintances, forming a little party to ourselves, we separated ourselves from the noise & bustle around & finding a quiet spot we settled down & enjoyed ourselves, Singing Etc, the Reeves sing well especially Fanny who has one of the finest Alto voices I have heard. I got home very fatigued about 8 Pm after a good tea &



a Bath, I went out alone & took a quiet strool about the neighbourhood. We have had a deal of company at our house lately. My sisters having such a large circle of friends, they have been out to picnics & party’s nearly every day the past week. I have had to stick with business very closely, being very busy at the office, several large vessels discharging at our pier, among the number a new steamer called the “London”

Tuesday evening I met Rt Hooper, we took a long walk together, talking over by gone days & life on the “diggins” enquiring after old friends, it is a melancholy pleasure I think Bob & Lockey left Melb for Sandhurst the following morning, on arriving home I found Mr. & Mrs. Petherbridge here. Mrs P is looking very pale & & thin & looks 5 years older than when she was married - Thursday evening I went to the Theatre Royal to see the pantomine. I liked it pretty well, but its nothing compared to the one at the other Theatre I enjoyed the singing of Harriet Gordon, she is also a nice actress - I met her in NZ where I sang with her –

Friday night - Fred and I took a ramble into town, met two girls we knew, took a walk with them about Fitzroy Gardens



walked with them home to Richmond, late when we got back to Fitzroy. Saturday afternoon I took a walk with Bessie & a Mrs. Lane, an American lady that G Kelly introduced to our house, she accompanied her husband Capt Lane, who has a fine ship called the "Levanter" now lying in the Bay She (Mrs L) spends most of her time on shore at our house, she is an exceedingly nice lady, very pretty & accomplished, she seems to have taken a strange fancy to our family & considering our short acquaintance we are all very fond of her, & shall regret her departure very much. In the evening I met F Rooke in town, we went to the Haymarket Theatre together on leaving which we adjourned to Hosies where we had supper, 12 p.m. when I arrived home - I went to St Peters this morning. In the afternoon I found myself as usual in the F Gardens, met the Miss F. & accompanied them home. In the evening I went to the Brunswick St Chapel heard what some people called a good sermon, but what I thought was a lot of rant, met T.Sellman & we walked home with the Miss Reeves

[Sunday, 15 January 1865] - - - - - - - - - - Jany 16 [15] 1865 Lovely weather during the week, rather chilly in the mornings, a most extraordinary thing for this time of the year I have nothing of interest to note out of the usual



routine of things. My time at the Rly being spent day after day in the same manner, measuring goods for freight & Copying Ships Manifests. I spent two days this week at Dalgety & Co. Shipping Office copying the Mfts of two of their ships we have at our Pier, rather a singular circumstance occurred in connection with one of the ships the "John Bunyan". A S.S. called the London arived here a few days ago after a tempestuous passage, during a gale a man was washed overboard, a Boat was instantly lowered & the Sailing Master with four men got into it for the purpose of trying to save the man. The sea was very rough at the time & the boat was seen to drift away from the ship at a fearful rate at last some on board were positive they saw the boat swamped the ship was hove to & at length when all seemed lost, the yards were squared & the London S.S. proceeded on her voyage & arrived in Melb in due time & the news of of the disaster published, causing quite a gloom at the fate of the unfortunates who were supposed to be lost in nobly endvg to save the life of a fellow creature. A few days afterwards, the Ship "Jno Bunyan" arrived & bringing with them the Boat & Crew that were lost belonging to the London S.S. it seems the Boat was swamped but being buoyant she floated & the men stuck to her & righted her. They were tossed about for 36 hours when they were picked up by a Whaler & when off Trinidad they fell in with the "Jno Bunyan" & were transferred to her, & thus came on to Melb’ The story seems romantic but nevertheless its true. Very many are of opinion that Capt Martin of the London was very much



to blame in not hovering around the spot when the Boat was seen to fill for he must have known it would not sink being a Life Boat, however it is very hard to judge a man without knowing all the attendant circumstances

On Monday night my sisters visited the Allens in Collins St. I called for them about 9 but was induced to remain, had some supper & some music left about eleven Miss Allen possesses a Bible, which she showed me, with an autograph of Robt. Burns in it. The Bible was given to Miss A. by a son of the poet Tuesday evening, we had several visitors Capt & Mrs. Lane & Geo. & Tom Kelly, spent it very agreeably -

Wednesday my mother went on Board the "Levanter" Sandridge to spend the day with Mrs. Lane, on leaving the office at 5 Pm I went to the ship & dined with them it was blowing very fresh and the ship rolled considerably causing anything but a delightful sensation in my interior several times I thought my dinner (which was an excellent one & I were going to part company with all due regard to Mr & Mrs L. whom I feel to have the greatest respect for, I was not sorry on leaving them & getting once more on “terrafirma”. We came to town by train, when I put Mother in a cab & sent her home, I called at the Finnegans & staid about two hours with them - Thursday night I spent at Mrs Smarts (Johnston St) she is a sister of Mr. Pickett my old Bendigo & New Zealand friend. Pickett has taken a Hotel some 20 miles from town near the Kangaroo grounds - so Mrs. S informed me. Saturday afternoon



I spent at home, Fred Rooke being at our house several friends called in the evening & we spent the time very pleasently - I walked into town with with Fred Rooke & we had supper at some place after which we parted. Sunday morning when I arrived home – To day I spent reading Levers "Martins of Cro Martin" in my opinion the best of his works it gives one a good idea of the cause of much of the shabby genteel poverty of the respectable classes in Ireland. I went out for a short strool about 4 Pm., after tea I visited the Brunswick St Wesley Church & heard a colonial bred preacher (a Sydney native whose name I have forgotten) if he is a specimen of what the colony is to produce, spare me from them, he appears to be well educated & all that sort of thing, but he lacks the first qualification, a fluent delivery, his ideas appear to be good, but he had such a difficulty in reading them intelligibly, that listening to him was like working out a problem - After the service was over I met Harry Clark & we took a strool together down Simpsons Road to see some friends of his but they were out, so we returned to his mothers where I remained for an hour or so chatting to his sister Sarah & his mother -

- - - - - - - Jany 22 1865 Weather very hot but pleasent on the whole - Received 5/. aweek advance to my salary this week, much to my disgust, for I had expected 4 times as much & even that would not be as



much as the mans salary was, whose duties I have to perform. I feel so mortified that I shall do my best to get out of the Compy & into something else -

Monday evening I spent at Harry Clarks house singing & flirting with his sister Sarah, who is such a warm hearted loving impulsive creature. Tuesday evening Tom Grimwood called; he was going to the Annual Ball given by the or to the employees (I know not which ) of the Lunatic Asylum, Yarra Bend he had a ticket to spare which he offered me, & I accepting it we both started for the place, found the Hall nicely got up & the floor beautifully chalked, all done & arranged by some of the more sensible lunatics, many of whom joined in the Dancing it was a very pleasent affair & I really enjoyed myself very much. I went in a perfect stranger but before I left I had made several pleasent acquaintances. My pleasure was somewhat damped in having to walk home. I was very tired next day. Friday night I went to the B.S.W. C. Choir heard them sing some nice Anthems. Saturday night I met F.Rooke in Bourke St by appointment & we went to the “Royal” & witnessed an excellent Burlesque or Extravaganza”. Harriet Gordon, (Mrs Hides) took the principal character, the only thing which pleased me, was her singing, she has a nice voice, & sings with good taste & expression I met, in the theatre, Mr. English, an old



friend of mine from N.Z. he belonged to the Debating Sty I was a member of on "Wetherstons" & he lived next tent to me there We were very glad to see each other – he is a man I always liked well informed & intelligent he is residing in “Melb” - This morning I went to St Peters Church - In the afternoon I met H.Clark & we took a long strool together, he is going to Woods Point Diggings tomorrow We went this evening to the W.C. Bk St & walked home with the Miss Reeves after the service -

- - - - - - Feby 5th.1865 A fortnight since I continued my journal no great loss were I to discontinue it for the future altogether. Spent my time much as usual, at least during the daytime, & the evening I may state with very little variety. I have spent *several evenings at H.Clarks mothers, F of War, Sarah I suppose, being the attraction, the girl is getting exceedingly loving towards me she is a very nice girl pleasent & amiable, plays & sings & does all in her power to make the time pass pleasently I met a great number of young fellows there I have been twice to the Theatre since I last wrote, Last night I saw Barry Sullivan in "Loves Sacrifice" & the other time I saw [him] in The Serf, he is a fine actor. I like him much better in high Comedy than I do in Tragedy - I have read a



little lately. Goethe's “Faust”. "The Life and Correspondence of Chas J.Fox" by Lord John Russell.

Thursday evening I went to the Polytechnic Hall to a concert given by Signor Castells & several of his pupils among the number Miss F Reeves. Signor C is the most accomplished musician & the best vocal instructor we have had in Melbourne, he came from the conservatoir of Paris, his voice is not much account but for style & finish he has not had his equal here, he sang a piece called "Far Away where Angels Dwell" deler- -iously. F Reeves made her debut on the occasion & gave general satisfaction, her voice is of a rich contralto good quality but I fear its rather too limited in range for her ever to become A1. Great excitement in the Political world here at present, on old bone of contention that has been picked pretty clean, not only in England but in America namely, Protection versus Free Trade. The mob which means the Majority are for Protection to their narrow minds plenty of work in the shape of new industries & manufactures are opened up, if the country is not to prosper with protection thus favourable to it, when, the freight, duty & the numerous other charges upon goods cominq from England & foreign markets is taken into consideration. I think they ought to make up the difference in the price of labour which is the great, drawback to our local industry



Meetings have been held every evening in Melb & suburbs with the idea of getting both ends of the question ventilated, but instead of good coming from them nothing but the reverse has been the result, for one or two that I have attended have been nothing but rowdy stormy gatherings. Yesterday afternoon I spent in practising Scales & Exercises on the Piano. Mary, very kindly is giving me instruction. I am afraid that I shall have to discontinue it, for night time is the only time I have for practice, & my eyes after writing all day at the office are not strong enough to keep long at it This morning I went to St Peters. In the afternoon I took a long walk, & in the evening I went to the B.S. Wesley Chapel, met Miss Clark & saw her home from there

- - - - - - - Feby 12th.1865 Weather very warm, some would vote it intolerably so Still continue very busy at the office. I have been about pretty considerably this week to one place or another - Monday evening I spent at Mrs. Smarts, Johnston St she persuaded me to go to a Tea Meeting at Abbotsford which took place on Friday night, after discussing theatre & meeting several I knew the Browns & Ramsdens & Miss Marshall, forming quite a little party, we all adjourned outside & had a pleasent strool along the Yarra Banks, being a nice moon light night we enjoyed ourselves very much, at least I did. We called at Mrs James for



& staid a short time - I have spent two evenings at Clarks F of War. Saturday night I went to see the Lenton Troupe - a Mr & Mrs. Heine were performing with them. Mrs H is considered the finest lady Pianiste that has visited Australia - & her husband Mr. H who is blind is equally clever as a violinist - I went, as usual, this morning to St Peters Church In the afternoon I took a ramble about Fitzroy Gardens, met several acquaintances In the evening I went to the Wesley Chapel, B St. heard Mr *Finlay preach an excellent sermon on the justness of God, his sermon was rather a severe one, especially as he appeared to me to impress upon his hearers that a God who is both just & jealous cannot be expected to have any mercy - rather different character of the Almighty than what I have been taught to believe him to be – strange! Mr. Handfield in the morning was preaching upon Gods mercy & goodness to man in spite of his wickedness I met Miss Clark after the service, I have placed myself in rather uncomfortable position, with respect to her & another friend of mine Thos.Sellman - some weeks back they were supposed to be engaged, they were a good deal together since then she has got very cool toward him. I am in the confidence of both, & I have been trying to make it up between but I have been unsuccessful. Miss C. loves some body else. I have a shrewd guess who that somebody else is, but that somebody else cares nothing more for her than he does for any other girl, her excuse for breaking off with Tom is that he is too fond of drink & is very fast, so he is mainly



to be blamed. I told Tom this evening how matters stood & he got into a passion with me, accused me of worming myself in her favour & supplanting him in her affection - it was no use expostulating with him in his state of mind so I left him in his unamiable mood I dont think that I will go to Clarks for some time yet

[Saturday,] 18th.Feby 1865 Weather still hot, a pleasent change took place yesterday in the shape of a downfall of rain, a blessing we have not enjoyed since X mas time I have been very unwell during the week. Tuesday afternoon on leaving the office I went in company with some fellow clerks to Sandridge for a Sea Bathe. I was very hot when I jumped into the water & the shock or transition from heat to cold must have affected me for I have had a severe cold ever since & pains all over my body. I spent my evenings mostly at home reading - I received a letter from my cousin Harry informing me Lizzie has been confined, she has lost no time since being married. The English Mail, no letter from Father but a number of Papers. Saturday afternoon I read until 4 pm when I went to Carlton Gardens to hear the HeadQuarters Band play. In the evening I went into town & rambled about, until 9.30, when I came home



- - - - - - - - - - Monday Feby 20th.1865
Yesterday morning Sunday, I went to St Peters, remained at home until evening not feeling well, after tea I went to Chapel, but had to come out early feeling very ill, I vomited frightfully managed to get home with an effort, took some Brandy which did me good & went to bed. This morning I went to the office but did very little work. I shall remain at home tomorrow if I am not better, on my way home this evening I met my old mate Bill Hobson, he is living in Bendigo, having got a share in a rich quartz claim there & is doing well, he is friends with his father to whom he was estranged for a long time. Will was well dressed & looking very different than when I last met him in Dunedin, dirty & ragged & hard up -

[Sunday, 26 February 1865] - - - - - - - - - Feby 25th.1865 Weather very hot since I last wrote. Very ill last Tuesday so I staid at home in bed till 3 pm when I got up & took a walk as far as Richmond. Went to business the following morning all right! I spent Thursday evening at Clarks. Sarah very fond & loving Bah! Im not on. One woman is the same to me as another all the romance of love far vanished when Isa King married I have met many girls but they are all alike to me, if I do feel interested in any for a short time, it causes me no regret whether they are fickle or inconstant. The fact is I am very susceptible to female charms & yet at the same time careless whether they care for me or not - no! I feel I can never love [a] woman again as I did Isa. With such a holy pure passion I flee from



sensuality. Saturday afternoon I went to hear the Head Quarters Band play in Fitzroy Gardens, where I met an old acquaintance R.Williamson, tis five years since I last met him, he is very much altered for the better. In the evening I met F.Rooke & we went to a Bazaar in St Georges Hall. We were nearly smothered what with the heat & the crowding & then being pestered by a lot of impudent girls who persist in worrying one into buying some stupid article or another & victimise one in a swindle of some kind. There was a deal of singing quantity, at least but as for quality, ugh! This morning I went to the Roman Catholic Chapel & heard Chas. Stuart (of the Christy Minstrels) sing the "Cujus Animam" from the “Stabat Mater” which he sang magnificently, his voice is light in tone but very sweet. I dont think he has a high natural range, but he manages to get up, & sings with with taste & judgement - he left the Minstrels 12 months ago in Sydney. My friend Stewart lost his place in the Band. Jim has a finer natural voice than his namesake but he is not so finished or artistic in his style of production F.Rooke was at the place, he came home to dinner with us we went out in the afternoon for a strool a heavy shower of rain sent us home pretty quickly. In the evening I went to the BSW Chapel, met a young fellow named Marsden, an acquaintance of mine, after the service in company with Sarah Clark & Jenny Kerr, I joined them making the party complete. We took a walk & saw the ladies home



- - - - - - - March 12th.1865 A fortnight since I continued the recital of my ill doings, if I may so call them, good they certainly are not nor are my actions, I am sorry to state, likely to be productive of good either to myself or others - I have spent several evenings lately at the Fortune of War in company with others, very jollily. I went to a Meeting in the Exhibition Building, an awfully wild & rowdy affair, got up by the "protectionists". The place was filled by Freetraders & I must say I never heard such a row in my life it was impossible to get a hearing for any of the speakers they no sooner stood up when they were howled down & to make things worse some malicious persons had distributed cayenne pepper & snuff about the place & what with the heat the sneezing howling shouting cursing Etc Etc it presented the appearance of a pandemonium, business was quite out of the question party feeling running very high -

I went last night to the Haymarket Theatre to see an Irish Comedian named ONeil in the "Irish Emigrant" which he played tolerably well - The Christy Minstrels have been performing there I went to hear them once or twice they are not so good as formerly, having lost two or three of their best men, their places being filled up with whoever could be procured in the colony - I wrote to Christy Foyne last week. I met Harry Dight a few days ago. He had just received a letter from T.Downs who informed him that my brother Edward was living in Dunedin with Signor Catabina, keeping a fashionable Billiard Saloon. I was very sorry



to hear it. Catebina is a decent fellow in his way but is no companion for my brother who is very much attached to him I feel to have very little hope of Ned becoming anything but a Blaguard he seems to like associating with people of questionable reputation - I had great hopes of Ned one time so handsome & clever, if his talents could only have been guided into a proper channel he would have made a fine man – but I fear it is too late now, he seems to be confirmed in his present cause - I wrote a long letter to Hamilton imploring him him to look Ned up, & prevail upon him to adopt some other mode of living. This morning I went to St Peters Church In the afternoon Harry Clark called for me & we took a walk together, went to his place to tea after which we went to the B.S. Wesley Chapel. Harrys mother is going to leave their Hotel in Napier St she having taken another one in Nt Melb

[Sunday, 19 March 1865] 20 March 1865
Very fine weather during the past week. Busy at the office plenty of Ships at the pier discharging. The English Mail came in in due time, bringing a letter from my father, one from my Aunt Bryer containing the likenes of her son Charles & his wife also a letter from Aunt Lucy, containing £50 for my sister Mary to enable her to procure things which she will require for her wedding - which is to take place in a few months time. I dont trouble myself much about the affair, for J.J.Clark is a man I dont like, time may change my opinion of him - I hope it may. I rarely ever speak to him - he is a relative to



my friends the Clarks, who have figured in my journal of late. I was greatly surprised at Aunt Lucys liberality for from what I hear of her she is most parsimonious about her affairs - Father is very well & the rest of our home relatives much about as usual Tuesday night I went to the Opera, the Lyster Troupe having lately arived from Adelaide, & heard “Lucia di Lammemoor”. Squires & Escott were engaged Squires sang “Fra poco” exquisitely. Two acts of “Lilly of Killarney” was produced the same night Rose Durand, Sophia whom I never liked taking the part of the “Colleen Bawn” while Armes Beaumont a rising young colonial tenor, playd & sang the part of Hardress very well Wharton (the best Baritone we ever had here, but whose voice I fear is deteriorating greatly lately, in consequence of his fondness for worshipping at the shrine of Bacchus) makes a splendid Danny Man. He & Beaumont sang the Duet “The Moon has raised her Lamp”, in a style which fairly brought down the house - Friday night Fred & I went to hear them in “Fra Diavolo” Squires & Escott sustaining the principal parts in it. While Durand & Beaumont came out strongly in the “Daughter of the Regiment” the two operas being produced the same evening This evening I went to hear a Mass sung at St Francis Chapel on leaving there I went to St. Peters Church arrived in time to hear the sermon. In the afternoon I paid Fitzroy Gardens a visit, met Lizzie Atkinson & Marie Woods there rambled about with them until tea time In the evening I went to Clarks spent the evening with Sarah & her mother - did not stay very late I am getting sick of visiting them. I wish they would not press me so much



- - - - - - April 2nd 1865
Another fortnight over my head but whether spent profitably or not is the question. I have [nothing] very important to note, my time being spent much the same as it usually is with little variety. I spent one or two evenings at Clarks at Nt Melb. Met Miss Finnigan about a week ago looking as beautiful as ever. There has been a coolness between us, in consequence of an anonymous letter which she received of which I was accused of writing however she has discovered its author & apologised to me for ever having surmised I was guilty of doing a palty action. I visited her house on Wednesday evening Mrs *Fleet called & spent a very enjoyable evening together, her sisters were at home & being a nice moonlight night induced us to take a strool together in the Gardens 12 pm when I left very reformed friends. I went to hear the Opera of “The Huguenots” it is a grand Opera full of glorious music, the principals were pretty good but the choruses & secondary parts were far from creditable. A new Band of Christy Minstrels have arrived, who call themselves the veritable & really original ones. They have two Tenor singers in their company one called Abecco, who has created quite a furore, his voice is strong but limited in range, but there is peculiar ring in his voice & he sings very sensational songs, subjects of which are founded upon incidents connected with the late American War, & are becoming very popular - he plays the harp beautifully



& accompanies himself upon it when singing The other Tenor, Herbert is more to my taste he has a beautiful voice & knows how to use it, & when the novelty of Abecco's singing is over, Herbert will be better appreciated, at least I think so, the rest of the company are very good. Raynor their Bass I dont care for - Joe Brown the great Dancer is very popular & with Collins do the comic *business they have a world - wide reputation & I have no doubt the party will doing very well in the Colony - The Mail arrived from England, bringing us nothing but newspapers from Father. This morning I took a strool about the neighbourhood Afternoon ditto in company with my brother Fred & in the evening we went to Clarks -

- - - - - - - - April 9th.1865 Weather very changeable during the past few days sometimes very hot & at others very cold Busy at the office I have been Three times to hear the ‘Christy Minstrels’ One evening I spent at Clarks. I forget where or how I spent the other evening, I think at home! I went to Chapel this morning. In the afternoon Bessie & I took a walk in the Gardens where we met Harriet Bishop who joined us in our strool, she is a beautiful girl but I think she is not particularly bright or intelligent, but she has a great number of admirers although very young. After tea I went to Chapel When the service was over I met some lady friends & saw one of them home -



Tuesday April 18th.1865
Since writing the last time I have had a pleasent change (a trip to Bendigo the scene of many a bygone day) The fore part of last week I spent as usual

Monday evening Miss McLaurin & I went to the Theatre together. Thursday night Fred & I went to see our friend Ambler make his debut in company with the Christy Minstrels he has a very good Baritone voice & will in time if he continues at it be an acquisition to the Colonial Lyric Stage his performance appeared to give general satisfaction The Easter holidays commenced on Good Friday & having & having four spare days before I determined upon taking advantage of them by paying Bendigo a visit, especially as the fares were so reasonable 12/- a return ticket (cheap travelling for 200 miles) I left by the 7 am train Friday purchasing what I thought was a return ticket, when to my astonishment on reaching Kangaroo Flat, 2 miles from Sandhurst, the porter coolly informed me it was a single ticket & that when I returned I should have to purchase another one on reaching Sandhurst I informed the Station Master of the circumstances but he could do nothing for me, so when I left I was compelled to pay for another ticket on reaching Melb I found out the Traffic Supt & told him of the affair when he promised to make enquiries & if he found my tale was true he would see that my money was returned to me I called at his office this evening & found the money ready for me, on giving up



first ticket I had scribbled my name upon it, so it was easily discovered - But to return to my journey! I left Melb at 7 am & arrived on Sandhurst by 12 - I could not help thinking of the old days, when I was younger, when with my swag upon my back I had trudged wearily along those hills & plains, that we were going over with Lightning speed in the early digging days. What a contrast, a few years presents, when at one time I had walked for a score of miles or more with- -out seeing a habitation are now to be found farms, stations Mills, townships - where I have walked knee deep in mud are now to be seen good macadamised roads & streets. One can scarcely realize the difference a few short years have made in the face of things The Railway is a fine piece of work – some splendid works are to be found upon the line, such as the Viaduct at Tarradale & the two great tunnels, the one at Elphinstone & the other through the "Big Hill" 8 miles from Sandhurst. I was very glad to arrive at my journeys end the carriages were so crowded & close - my first plan of call was at Mrs Frazers who remembered me at once & would have made me very welcome if I had remained She directed me to my couzin Lizzie (Mrs. Holm) on calling I found her out for the day, at California Gully, her husband who I met for the first time seemed rather surprised by my familiar way in enquiring for his wife, but when I told him who I was his manner changed at once & he informed me who he was – he insisted upon my remaining at his house as long as I stayed on Bendigo, after spending about an hour with him I



started on an old familiar walk, to me, to California Gully, but having to pass near Mr. Kings house, I could not resist the temptation of giving the family a call not that I had any great love for them with the exception of one member of it who I thought might have been there I called, & was disappointed. Mr. & Mrs. K & Mary were the only ones at home - Mrs. Lay (Isa) had been on a visit with them but had returned home that morning however they made me very welcome, (Ned Rowitt was there he is engaged to be married to Mary King & they were going to Melb. that same afternoon together, I fancy to be married, but I heard to day from the Dights, that they could not get the ceremony performed they having neglected to give the customary notice) I staid to dinner with them after which I left & started for the Gully passing on the way two or three spots where I formerly dwelt, a few stones of the chimney on the ground, & the trench that had been cut around the tents being the only vestiges left of my former habitations. I passed many an old hole & shaft which I had sunk & toiled in with high hopes & had left in despair at which I passed & looked at & sighed. I met many an old familiar face at which Id look at but whose blank look in return informed me plainly that I was no longer remembered. I put my head into several tents where lived old diggers that will never perhaps leave the old spots they have pitched their tents upon, it nearly brought tears to my eyes at the honest rough greeting they gave me when I was recognised by those who remembered



the wild reckless boy they called “Gentleman Jack” or little Jack, the only name I was known by many - on reaching the north side of Long Gully I met McCaffray leading by a hand a pretty little girl, Mrs. Hickeys (Miriam) firstborn - I left him promising to call in the morning at Mrs Hoopers - I found my couzins Liz & Henry at Archy Baines hut spending the day, Liz is looking very well she has a nice little girl. Harry is the same dry old sober sides, he is living at Lizzies working with Ned Rowitt, Coopering, but he does not intend remaining at it, he tells me that he is studying very hard. I remained about 3 hours with them several people called, old acquaintances who have lived in the Gully the last 10 years & knew me when I was a boy, all glad to see me, I could see the Nelson Reef across the Gully & the men at work with whom I have done many a hard days labour with After tea I called on Mrs. Hooper, (I met her son Bob who was going on the night shift he is at work in the Nelson Reef) poor old soul she went into ecstasies on seeing me she hugged & kissed me till I thought Id choke no one was home so I spent the evening in hearing her go over all her trials & afflictions & giving me a full true & particular account of every scandle & event both minor & major that had occurred in the neighbourhood since my leaving it at length seeing I was sleepy she prepared my bed she seemed as if nothing was too much for her to do for me she is a goodnatured woman warm hearted & affectionate always trying to be useful to her neighbours, visits the sick & afflicted no matter who they may be. Bob & Scoty came home from work at 4 am next morning. Mrs. Hooper & Scoty



started for Melb. by the first train & having to walk 3 miles to the station they left before I was up. Bob & I got up 9 Am & we prepared our breakfast after which we took a ramble about the neighbourhood, we visited the Frazers who keep a Store in the same shop that Andrew Smith formerly carried on business in. Locky had gone to town the rest of the family excepting Mr & Mrs F. did not remember [me] being young children when I left. I called on Mr. Froggart who is still the Manager of the Nelson Reef he was very glad to see me & showed me over the Works - I found several of the old hands employed about the place, Harvey the Smith & Pithey the Engineer & much to my surprise my old & esteemed friend Mr. Brown who I have not seen since I left the Manuherike River Otago N.Z. He was formerly a Director & a large Shareholder in the Company, but having lost a deal of money in N.Z. & elsewhere he is compelled [to] take a situation he is a very clever man, theoretically & practically to, he informed me that he left Dunedin 2 months ago & that he met my brother Edward there, looking very well & respectably dressed, he was living with Catibini. On leaving the Reef which is paying better than it has done since I left it, I went to Wellsteads he is looking very old, his wife is the same fine noble looking woman as ever They made me very welcome Mrs Wls as jolly & rollicking as ever informed me that there has been no life nor fun in the Gully since I left it - I shall never forget her dressing up in Volunteers clothes



one night & I in hers & both us taking a walk together through the township, when she perceiving the policeman (the only one) coming took to her heels with all a womans instinct of fear, of course I followed with my crinolin under my arm to the astonishment of the bewildered "Bobby". Ah! how we laughed over it & other madcap pranks, she has three or four children now & is getting a little more matronly in her appearance. They informed me that they have been very unfortunate lately owing to some mining speculation - I called on Mr & Mrs. Drew. Geo was working but on seeing me he said Ill do no more work to day, he was so delighted to see me. Mrs D had seen me in the distance & knew I would call so she had put on the kettle & knowing how fond I used to be of fritters had commenced mixing some, of which I partook heartily of They were very kind & made me so welcome They have had two children since I last saw them - I left them about 3 pm. & called at several other places in that neighbourhood after which Bob Hooper & I went into Sandhurst, & called at my couzins, found several young ladies there & a Mrs Eliot who gave me a pressing invite to a party she was to give as last night, of course I had to decline. After tea I rambled about Pall Mall & being Saturday night it was crowded I met a great number of people I knew, many of course to whom I stopped & chatted with among the number, Andrew Smith, my companion from Dunedin on board the Alhambra, he is a rising man, has shares in several payable claims & is



the Manager of a Branch Bank at Raywood We walked about, for an hour or so when we parted with mutual good wishes for each others future welfare, I slept at Lizzies Next morning I went out to Long Gully & called for Bob Hooper & together we visited tents in the Gully called upon Dave Anderson he is the same happy go lucky fellow as of old, & unfortunately as fond of his Beer as ever, such a pity! for he is really a superior man, having been well educated & mixed in good society, he is now about 28 years old but sinking fast into a sot. I talked long with him & did my best to persuade him to a different course of life & endeavour to regain his lost position in society, he is living at present with Jim Hall, who I was sorry to find absent, after dinner which I had with Dave - Bob & I started a long walk to the "Birds Reef" Kangaroo Flat, where I was informed my old friend Mr. Halley was living On reaching his place I was disappointed upon hearing that he left that morning to visit Echuca. I was very sorry for there was no one on Bendigo than I would sooner have seen than him. We had just left the place when who should I meet but himself it appeared that he had missed the train so was returning home We were very glad to see each other, he is looking much older, his hair is getting quite grey, we sat down on the roadside & had a long talk relating in turn how time had served us since last we parted



found that we had each our ups & downs so after mutually sympathising with each other we parted, Bob & I took a Cab at Kangaroo Flat & drove into Sandht had tea at Lizzies, after which, Bob left, I spent the evening with Mr. & Mrs. Holm very pleasently & retired to bed early feeling very tired after my long days walk I arose next morning (Monday) at 6 & made my adieus, & then walked to the Railway Station & took my seat, arrived in town by 12 O.C. met Mr King & his son Jack on the Melb platform - on my arrival home I indulged in a Bath, a luxury owing to the scarcity of water in Bendigo that I have not had since leaving home, after which, I took my sister Bessie to the Athletic Sports on the Melb Cricket Ground I did not enjoy the sports very much, feeling rather fatigued & the day being very hot I met several I knew on the ground, Locky Frazer & Jim Stewart – among the number After tea I went to Kerrs, met miss Clark & Jenny Kerr, in company with Trotter, after some chatting Trotter & I went to the Theatre together & heard the Christy Minstrels, 12 when I got home I went to business this morning, found my work very hard after the holidays. In the evening I went to Clarks at Nt. Melb’ met several young fellow acquaintances there, & also some young ladies, spent an hour or two very pleasently singing & dancing Etc - & so has passed my Easter holidays - very pleasently on the whole I think



- - - - Sunday April 23rd 1865 Quite a change in the weather during the past few days, no rain but very cold & gloomy, its a pity we have no rain, being much wanted after the long spell of dry weather Nother has occurred worth noting since I last wrote Friday the 21st inst was observed as a halfholiday being the anniversary of the Eight Hour labour system, the day was chosen for the Unveiling of the Statue of Burke & Wills (the Explorers, who came to such a fatal end at Coopers Creek) which has been erected at the intersection of Collins & Russell St the ceremony was performed by the Governor Sir Charles Darling & witnessed by an immense crowd of people. The statue is a very fine one Wills is represented sitting down, writing, & Burke is erect with one hand resting upon Wills shoulder, being very suggestive of the support he received from him while living. The figures are of Herculean proportions resting upon a granite base with some bas reliefs in metal, representing their journey across Australia, set into the stone The English Mail arrived yesterday by several days beyond its time – no letters, nothing but a few papers from my father I went to hear the Minstrels last night, being their closing night. Signor Abecco was presented with a Medal by some of his numerous admirers, he responded to [the] compliment in a very nice manner. This afternoon Harry Clark & I took a strool in Fitzroy Gardens, &



we met Miss Lizzie Atkinson, a young lady Clark is rather soft upon, & another young lady that I was introduced to her name is Idalia Rekowski. I was surprised. I did not remember her, not having seen her since she was a little girl before I went to N.Z. Then in company with her sister Agnes, who is now Mrs. W.H.Dalrymple, we soon got on very good terms together, she being very chatty & agreeable, Clark & I walked to Richmond with them - on leaving them I accompanied Harry to his mothers where I had tea & spent the evening with him -

[Sunday, 30 April 1865] Sunday 29th [30th] April 1865 Weather beautiful, but rather chilly at times, had a little rain but not enough to [do] any good. Rather slack at the office, in consequence of the non arrival of vessels. Monday night I met Miss Clark or she threw herself in my way, the girl is getting too fond. I walked home with her. Thursday night I visited her mothers, several people there passed the time singing & dancing. I was there again last night a lot of acquaintances dropped in, mostly young fellows & admirers of Miss C. They had been to the Sports at St Kilda & were half seas over having been basking in the sun pretty freely. Not having any sympathy for that sort of thing I left early & walked into town, where I met Fred Rooke & a Captain Kruntz, of the Ship “Crown Prince Lusina Christian Von Sweeden”) what a name) the Capt I found a jolly young fellow & very liberal with his money & cigars. We visited several places of amusement of various descriptions, until 12 when I left them



I went to the B.S. Wesley Chapel heard a long dry sermon, very argumentive but so obtuse as to be quite incomprehensible to me After dinner, I took my walk abroad, as usual to the Gardens, met Mr Chiek & Miss Finnegan, promised to visit the latter next week. I went to Chapel in the evening, walked to the P.O. with a girl I knew when I left her & meeting with Harry Clark I went with him, home, found Trotter & Selman there as usual, the latter is a discarded lover & the former is persevering to ingratiate himself into the good graces of Sarah Clark. I wish him every success, he looks daggers at me & is very jealous & all that sort of thing, & yet we are friendly I have told him many a time I dont care for the girl but at the same time he is not blind to the partial manner she displays towards me - Oh bother such a subject I fear Im an awful flirt & a humbug I shall get taken in some of these days, I know! -

- - - - - - - May 7th, 1865 Weather very unsettled, tho’ very little rain has fallen. Monday evening I went out for a strool met several acquaintances, (male). D. & I found our way to Kerrs, & I was induced to puchase a ticket for a Ball for the following evening to which I went, found a very jolly lot of people there, being fond of a dancing I managed to enjoy myself. I left about at 3 Am the following morning, those remaining



were beginning to get too noisy & rowdy to please me I went to business as usual but felt very tired, but after tea I went to Finnegans as I had promised left about 10 Pm & came home. Thursday night I went to Clarks, thought they were very cool towards me. It did not affect me much for they are people I dont much care for. Sarah is the one that makes the place attractive to me she plays & sings & does her best to please & altogether is very agreeable & I generally find pleasent company at the house which all tends to ones amusement & pleasure Friday night Mr. Bonaich called he is a gentleman we have met several times at Mrs. Morris's & other friends houses, & he effects a serious regard toward my younger sister Bessie We know very little of him but that little is in his favour. My sister, I fancy, rather likes him, but she is so young I fear she cannot analyze the feelings she has towards him, he called as I have stated to invite Bessie Fred & I to spend the evening at some friends of his (whom I have met before) Mr & Mrs Steels, Hotham, we found Mr & Mrs. Morris there & also other acquaintances most of whom were musical, so we managed to spend a pleasent evening together. Saturday morning I spent, at Dalgety & Co. office copying a Ships Manifest. In the afternoon R.Ryland



& I visited the Museum (University) a place well worth visiting, the ground floor is devoted to Models of Mchy for Mining & Agricultural purposes. Above are to be found some splendid collections of minerals, shells, bones Etc Etc but what pleased me the most, were the Cases of Stuffed Birds & Animals, the whole forming a Collection of objects that Young Victoria ought to be proud in possessing. Fred & I took our usual ramble, about town in the evening - This morning , Sunday, I went to Church, took a walk in the afternoon, & in the evening I went to Clarks, found no one at home but Sarah. I at once charged her with her strange behaviour on my last visit after some hesitation she confessed that T.Sellman had informed her that I had told him that I did not care for her & that I thought her a fool in showing her preference towards me, Etc all of which was very true & but in speaking to Sellman upon I the subject, I used to greatest caution & used the most delicate expressions to convey my opinion of her to him, while he has repeated or conveyed the sense of my remarks to her in his own, coarse vulgar way. It is not the first time he has made mischief in that house between its visitors. I am glad it occurred in one sense



for it gave me an opportunity of relieving her mind of any idea she had entertained respecting my relations to her - after doing so, I was going away with the intention of never visiting her more, the most honourable plan I could adopt, when she entreated me to continue on friendly terms with her, & whatever feeling she had toward me she would endeavour to conquer, of course I promised but for the future my visits will be like the "proverbial Angels," as I was coming away the Kerrs called so I waited for them & accompanied them home -

May 14 1865 The weather has been very unsettled during [the week], but not much rain has fell, until yesterday when we had a gale of wind accompanied with sleety rain, which has continued to the present time Monday evening I spent at home, several visitors called & we managed to spend an agreeable evening. Tuesday evening I spent at Kerrs, Wednesday I spent, at Clarks found Jones, Trotter & Sellman there, the latter I had a few words with, the others interfering prevented us from quarrelling, we parted good friends after our tea cup squall. Miss C. assumed the distant toward me, but it was so strained & marked that her manner must have appeared rather ludicrous to the others present. I walked home with Miss Kerr



Thursday evening Fred & I took a strool about town came home about 11 Pm. Friday afternoon, Geo Drew called upon me, & in the evening I called at the Exchange Hotel where he is lodging with his wife & family, until a vessel sails for Queensland, where they purpose going. Geo. has been very unfortunate on Bendigo & having a brother in Brisbane he thinks it will be to his interest to go & settle there. I remained with them until 9 Pm. when we parted with mutual good wishes for each others welfare. I called at Clarks on my way home, found my Bro Fred there, came home early Saturday afternoon I called at Dights, no one at home, so I returned & spent the rest of the day, doing odd jobs about the place chopping wood, driving in nails here & there & jobbing in the garden. In the evening Miss McLaurin called & staid about an hour I walked into town with her to Dr Brownless' house where she is living & employed as Governess, on my return home I ate a hearty supper, which brought on a fit of indigestion that kept me awake all night with a pain in my stomach. To day it rained very hard, so I remained at home reading everything that came in my way, it cleared up a little in the evening when Fred & I went to the Wesleyan Chapel Bk St I didnt profit much by what I heard feeling sleepy. I could hardly keep



my eyes open, it was bitterly cold when we got outside & we were not long before we reached home, On Wednesday I had a visit from a young man who had just arrived from Dunedin, who brought me news of my Bro Ned, he is still with Catabini, at the old game, I feel sorry Ned has not more pride or self respect to continue such a low calling, however I was glad to hear that he was alive & well. I shall write to him next week -

- - - - Sunday 21st May 1865 Horrible disagreeable weather wet & cold & very little sunshine, dirty streets, every body looking dull & melancholy. One good thing about it it keeps Fred & I more at home than we otherwise would be. The English Mail arrived on Monday, no letters, nothing but a few papers from father. Fred & I spent the evening in following a female Ballad Singer about from place to place, we heard her sing about a dozen songs, some of which she really sang well displaying both taste & feeling, she has a good voice & I have no doubt at one time & under different circumstances, she had a fine organ - I feel very sorry for the woman she appears to be a poor delicate creature, two men accompany her upon some Bass instruments. Tuesday evening had to remain at home Wednesday evening I spent at Kerrs, sat talking with Jenny who for two blessed hours did nothing



but relate to me her hopes & fears respecting a lover she imagines she has, she is very fond of him & I believe the fellow is a married man & is only fooling her, what an astonishing fellow I am everybody I get intimate with makes a confident of me. I am the possessor of more secrets on love affairs than I believe any man of my acquaintance

Thursday evening I went for my sisters who had been spending the afternoon at Mrs Morriss, met them in company with H.Clark so I turned with them & came home. Miss Crispen dropped in & we managed to spend an agreeable evening. I saw Miss C home at 11 Pm & afterwards accompanied Harry a part of his way home to Hotham, he has lately returned from Woods Point where he has been engaged as a Mining Agent but I dont think that he has gained much by his absence excepting experience Friday evening I spent at the Brunswick St. Chapel There was a Rehearsal for a concert which is to be given on the Queens B Day F.Reeves is the principal vocalist & if she sings as well at the Concert as she did when I heard her, I am sure the audience will be pleased. Saturday afternoon I spent until 4 Pm in making extracts from "The Life [of] Julius Ceasar" compiled I hear at a cost of £30000 by no less an author than Napoleon III Emperor of the French. The work, as far as I can judge, is well written & displays great care & study in its compilation, but the



object of the work, appears to me, to place the life & general character of the Great Napoleon in favourable comparison with that of the greatest of the Ceasars There is some analogy in the characters of the two men, but not to the extent that Napoleon III wishes to make out, after finishing my notes I took a strool into town met a young man named Marsden, an acquaintance, & walked home with him In the evening Fred & I went to the Haymarket Theatre together, saw Miss Cleveland in a piece called "St Marys Eve" but the attraction of the thing was the reappearance of several vocal mediums, Farquharson Sherwin & Mde Carandini & her daughter Fanny the latter is a pleasing singer but I fear she will [not] be as good as her mother. The old lady sang as charmingly as ever. Sherwin is done up & the least said about him the better. Farquharson was as good as ever, he sang the ‘Desert’ & the "Maniac" magnificently, & one or two Buffe Songs which met with much approval

[1865-06-04-Sunday] - - - - - - - June 3rd.[4th] 1865 Weather very unsettled during the last two weeks – scarcely a day without rain, I have been kept very busy at the office several English vessels having arrived lately & on discharging their Cargoes at our Pier. I sent in an application to Mr. Finlayson Secretary of the M & H B Rl Co, about, a fortnight [ago] for an increase of salary. I received an answer two days since informing me that an increase of 10s/d-



per week had been granted me which is certainly an improvement upon what I have been getting. If it had not been for the money I had from England I could never have knocked along as I have done on my small salary my rise was accompanied with an intimation that my employers are quite alive to my merits & were very well pleased at the manner in which I performed the duties of my situation

I have been no place of amusement since I last wrote with the exception of an amateur Concert I attended given in the Brunswick St Chapel The singing was good on the whole, being selections from Oratorios - Last Saturday evening I had some words with J.J.Clark the gentleman my sister Mary is engaged to. I never liked him, he appears, to me, to have a most proud overbearing contemptible manner & one of those men who can see no virtue in another, & is very nasty & sarcastic at times. I dont mind that sort of thing so long as he keeps it for strangers, but he is continually casting reproaches & saying disagreeable things about our family Etc I let him know that he had no right to assume such a dictatorial tone in our house & insisted upon him, for the future to mind his own business on the following Monday morning I received a most intolerant note from him to which I replied in very plain terms The following day I received another note from him, more



overbearing & insulting than the former I answered it also in a manner which no man of spirit could have mistaken. I had the mortification of receiving another effusion from him in reply which I intended returning to him unopened, but for my mother who thought there might be something in it in reference to my sister there was not & I am happy to state that in none of his notes did he allude to her, she met him this morning & he informed her that he did not intend to visit the house again. I hope he wont while I am in it, for I shall certainly quarrel with him, but for Marys sake I would have kicked him out of the house long ago, she is a fool to attach herself to such a man, she has plenty of admirers but Clark always seems to hang after her, dog in the manger kind of spirit. He is a clever young man an Architect by profession, & is employed in the Bd of Lands & Works Office & is in receipt of a splendid salary I really think he is fond of my sister, but being very sensitive & proud he is afraid of being ridiculed by marrying my sister in the face of the many of the many illnatured unfounded reports that have been spread by malicious people concerning the cause of my fathers absence & his living away from his family, it would be amusing if it was not so injurious to think of the many stories which have been in circulation respecting us of which I was quite ignorant of until I came to live at home - another of the mortifications my fathers -



conduct has entailed upon his family We had a holiday on Queens Birth Day I took the girls to see the Review held on Emerald Hill, on arriving home we found the Miss Clarks here I was very polite & courteous toward them in spite of my quarrel with their brother, I dont think that they are aware of the eruption between us - The eldest Miss C is a plain spoken frank jolly kind of girl but whose education I fancy has been neglected, the other one is quite the reverse being stiff & formal. I hear she is very talented, & amiable - I took a strool into town that evening & was nearly burnt to death by fireworks. I wonder the Authorities dont put a stop to such things going off in the streets -

This afternoon Bessie & I took a walk, met T.Grimwood who came home to tea with us, In the evening I went to the Brunswick St Wesleyan Chapel -

[18 June 1865-06-18 Sunday] - - - - - - - 17 June 1865 A fortnight has elapsed since I continued my journal I have been hard at work in the office several large vessels just arrived & are moored alongside of our pier to discharge their cargoes. I have spent what little spare time I can find in copying into a substantially bound book, of this description, a portion of my old journal which I kept many years ago. I found it hard to make out, written as it was, many times by the Camp fire in the Bush on scraps of



paper & in small memorandum books. I feel loath to let them be distroyd, now that I have kept them [so] long & the longer the events recorded the more interesting they will prove to be, at least to me, in the future. I have spent my evenings as I usually do visited the Haymarket Theatre once or twice to see some really clever Acrobats who call themselves the “Lenton Troupe” - I generally take a good sharp walk after my tea for a couple of hours or so I feel a necessity for this being accumstoned until very lately to so much outdoor exercise. This day week I accompanied Bessie to witness a Confirmation Service at St Marks Church, the service was rather an interesting [one] but rather to public & too much show about it to be an impressive one Fred & I went to St Peters in the evening at the conclusion of the service we met two sisters, Misses Stewarts, friends of Fred, we accompanied them home to Richmond On Tuesday evening Arthur Nicholson & I were going up Brunswick St & we met Miss Heeth who introduced me to rather a pretty girl named Miss Stone she is about the middle height, rather a neat figure, her face, which by the bye is classically featured, what I should term a *Scenic *Grace such as one an artist would like to draw, a physiognomist would say there wanted intelligence to light the face up & give it expression I have met her every evening since - We took a long walk together on Friday. I found her



much younger than I thought she was, very quiet - a quietness that rather puzzles me, being doubtful whether it arises from absolute dullness or from extreme cautiousness & cunning she is rather young to expect the latter I must see more of her ere I decide, she agrees to meet me & kisses me, or allows me to kiss her in the most mechanical manner, never seems to display a particle of warmth or feeling, a “Stone by name & one by nature”. I feel strangely attracted by to her & at the same time I dont feel an atom of love for her I look upon her as I would upon a fine piece of statuary - singular anomaly of nature, beauty without intelligence & visa versa, so often to be met with in life I have noticed it so often. Beauty either in male or female allied with all thats sensuous, whilst plainness with intelligence seem combined, on ordination of providence I suppose to make all alike attractive in some sense or another I dont think Ill see the girl again unless I see some sign of a “thaw in the icicle” the next time we meet.

- - - - - - - - July 2nd 1865 A fortnight since I continued my journal the English Mail arrived here on the 24 ult 12 days after contract time. We received no news by it - American news are of fearful importance The fall of Richmond, the Confederates last stronghold is reported which will end the most fearful



& bloody civil war on record This is not all, for a Tragedy of a shocking description marks the finish of this fearful struggle (which for loss of blood the numbers slain, the bitter hatred displayed on both sides stand unparalleled.) no less than the Assassination of President Abraham Lincoln, while sitting in his box in the Theatre New York, in company with his Secretary, & his family, was shot at by an actor named –[John Wilkes Booth] who is supposed to be an agent of the Confederate party after committing the deed he managed to escape in the panic that ensued but was shortly afterwards captured & who I suppose is now out of the land of living - The weather has been very wet & miserable lately I have not been to any place of amusement since I last wrote, nor have I read much. I generally go out in the evening for a short time when I usually meet with some acquaintance or another. I met Miss Stone several times she is a queer girl rather consequential & pretty vain of her beauty which makes her coquettish but not in a fascinating sense that is usually met with in a coquette, the fact is she has no formed character of her own, & it will depend entirely upon the hands she gets into whether she will turn out good or bad, through all her coldness & reserve I am sure she has strong passions which are smothered &



dormant at present, she is one I should be afraid to place much confidence in, or place any affections upon, for she appears to me to be one of those sort of people that you could not get hold upon through the affections, to anyone reading the above opinion of her, would conclude that she was vain, selfish & whimsical a frightful character to give a girl, but one I feel is true from the study I have made of her. I may be wrong there may be a bright side to the picture I fancy there must be, but I have not seen it, confound the girl she interests me, & yet I wouldnt love her for the world! Last Sunday night I went to hear Isaac New preach in the Baptist Chapel Albert St. he is an eloquent preacher & a scholar. I was greatly interested in his lecture, for it was nothing else, being a refutation of Colenso’s Work on the Pentateuch. I could not help thinking of the last time that I was in the place years ago in company with Jane Summers, where is she now! We had a holiday yesterday the 1st.July to commemorate two events, Separation Day & the union of the Suburban & M & HB R Co lines the latter having purchased the former & brought under one Directory, the consequence being that all the employees had notices of dismissal served upon them, but with the option of entering the services of the new company, which we did, the business going on in the usual manner as before the compy is now the M & H B United Rly Co



I took advantage of the holiday to pay Mr & Mrs. Griffin at St Kilda a visit. I was ashamed *nicely to do so considering their kindness to me that I have not been to see them before, the reason being that a number of ill natured remarks had been passed by my family in reference to myself & Mrs. G which did not please me that placed me in a queer position however they welcomed me beyond my expectations Mrs. G & I had a long talk together about Bonaich & Bessie & also concerning our unfortunate affair - she admitted being very foolish & to blame in the matter & it led her seriously to reflect upon her conduct for in the future - I left her about 5 pm after tea Fred & I took a strool about town, came home early calling upon Miss Stone on the way Had a chat with her for half an hour got home by 9 Pm, time to go bed now I think.

- - - - - - - - - July 16th.1865 Another fortnight passed away. Weather truly wretched, & bitterly cold. Rather slack at the office I have not visited a place of amusement since I last wrote but I am out somewhere every evening. I am seldom in want of a companion knowing as I do so many young fellows about Fitzroy, & I ought to say young ladies I managed to rid myself of one of my female acquaintances, Miss S. she turned out what I sus- -pected she was, a cunning, deceitful thing she served



“Alas! Alas! she became my wife”

me the meanest trick I was ever playd & displayd in the action such a thorough want of principle & low mindedness that I was actually savage & have been since to think to I could ever have felt any thing like interest for such a creature. I was fool enough to be so stung by her behaviour that instead of treating her with the silent contempt she merited I wrote a note to her, on the impulse of the moment, pointing out to her her faults & elightening her as to the consequences such conduct as she is guilty of would produce - I met her by accident a day or two afterwards fully expecting her to make some explanation or see her display a particle of contrition for her baseness, but no! The same mobile manner I was annoyed not for myself but on her account, at seeing such a fair “casket containing so foul a gem”. Heaven grant she may change if none takes place, what an end hers will be. I may be wrong in thus condemning her in fact I have no right to do so, for after all the girl never displayd any affection for me if I asked her to take a walk she would agree so mechanically that it was no pleasure going with her, however I have done with her, & *the only wish I have is that my fears respecting her will never be realized. Last evening I went to town met Liz Atkinson & walked home with her This evening I went to Chapel & in the evening



I went to hear the Revd. W Taylor, or "California Taylor" as he is called to distinguish him from the Baptist minister of the same name, he goes in strongly for Revivals, he preached a very fine sermon of the sensational kind illustrating his subject by a number of really witty & interesting anecdotes – he has a strong Yankee accent, which falls rather strangely upon English ears, he is very broad & coarse in his remarks, at times, that rather distroys the effect of his otherwise eloquent orations If I had left the chapel immediately after the sermon I should have been well pleased, but at the solicitations of some friends I was induced to remain at the prayermeeting & witness what I can call by no other name than the tempory insanity of the people disgusted me of the whole affair, great numbers of very wicked people were converted mostly of whom appeared to me to be young girls & boys who seemed to me to be frightened into the grace of God by the terrors of a hell which the Revd gentleman very graphically discribed to his conscience strickened listeners, all I hope is that the apparent changes I witnessed will be lasting & productive of good, but I have my doubts concerning these extraordinary sudden conversions bless me! what an awful difference there must be in peoples natures & susceptibilities - I got into



a precious row on Friday evening, I went to see the Volunteers go through their drill. Their Band was out on the occasion which attracted a large number of people. I was talking to a lady when I was struck by some "rowdy cad". I rolled into the fellow, who appeared to be the leader of a band of young "roughs" I was soon attacked by some half dozen of them but getting them in front of me, I dropped them with my knuckles as quickly as they came on, they seeing me so determined made them shy & they soon left me but not before I had received some ugly blows which has left me feeling rather stiff & sore it is some satisfaction to know that I gave them as much as I received, I met one of them yesterday with his eye bunged up & another with the ugliest looking pair of lips I ever saw, they slunk by very quietly looking scowlingly upon me – my old weakness for Boxing & knowing how to use my fists served me a good turn not the first time in my life that I have profited by my knowledge of the "Noble Art" -

[Sunday, 30 July 1865] - - - - - - - - - - 31st July 1865 A fortnight more passed over my head & things as far as I am concerned are about the same as usual. The English Mail arrived in due time, no letter from any relatives, a few papers from father in one of them we found a few pencilled lines informing us



he had not been well for some time, suffering from sciatica & was unable to attend to his business whatever that business may be puzzles my intellectual I wrote him a long letter which I sent by the Mail that has just left. One evening last week Mary & I went to a Concert given by Farqharson & were greatly pleased with the performance. Monday night Arthur Nicholson & I went to the Circus at the HayMarket Theatre. I wish I could shake Arthur off he is a bore to me, being nothing more than a *fan- boy but possessing a good heart, but a little stock of moral principle, & very susceptible to evil influence

Wednesday night I went to see Barry Sullivan in “Hamlet” it is the best of Shakespeares characters he plays, & in the character I am safe in stating he has had no superior. I dont think remembering the impression it has left upon me, that G V Brooke “Hamlet” was better. B.S. is always good, tho at times stodgy, but he fairly surpasses himself in this part

I spent a jolly evening at Blanchards last week There are three Miss Bs, & bright articles they are! do very well to have a bit of fun with I spent an evening at Clarks W.Melb they made quite a fuss of me. Sarah was very urbane & agreeable & appeared very anxious of get[ting] on a good footing with me “I wasnt on”. it was 2 next morning when I arrived home. Last Sunday



morning I went to hear Mozarts 12th Mass sung at St Francis C.C Eliz St Tuesday evening I spent at Fs grand party, didnt get home from St Kilda till daylight next morning. I have been out every evening somewhere or another where & how I have spent my time would be too difficult a matter to chronicle. I had a letter the other day from Bob Hooper, he is still in Long Gully informed me Mrs Hickey has had another addition to her family in the shape of a "smiling little olive branch" Bob alluded to old acquaintances mentions several of the old Gully boys, who are still gliding through life as they formerly did in the go day come day God save Sunday kind of way, without a thought beyond Saturday night & a belly full of Beer. A regular “dead set.” has been made upon me to convert me by a member of the Wesleyan body, whose acquaintance I made in a singular manner. I alluded in my last entry to having heard the Revd. W.Taylor, I was into a pew on that occasion in company with a tall good looking gentlemanly man, with such a kindly amiable looking face that quite attracted me to him, having to wait nearly an hour before the service began we got into conversation. I found he was a professed Christian & a firm believer & supporter of Wesleyism & who firmly believed in certain seasons of when



the masses were more susceptible to Revivals & that sort of thing. I objected to the idea & we had a long argument together, which diverged to all manner of subjects. At the conclusion of the sermon, seeing I looked pleased he imagined I had been fired by the eloquence of the Revd W.T. whereas I was only amused, he spoke long & earnestly to me & beseeched me to become serious – & I gave him my name on parting he gave me his card ^ & address which I thrust into my pocket. I had forgotten the circumstances, when a few days afterwards a fellow clerk of mine, brought me a note which on opening I found to be an invitation from Mr S.G.King to spend to day with him. I had no idea who the person was but putting a hand into my pocket I pulled out a card & so I discovered the note was from my friend alluded to, I was to meet him at the door of the Nt Melb Wesley Church which I did & he seemed very glad to see me & showed me into a pew The Revd Joseph Dare preached an eloquent sermon on “silent, prayer” at the conclusion of the service I was introduced to Mrs. King & her sister, Miss Smith, a really beautiful girl. I was invited to dinner by Mr K but being strangers I was declining when the young one joined in requesting me go home with them, I [saw] there was no resisting so I went, found they lived in Hotham where Mr K has an extensive Drapery business & judging from the manner the house is furnished & the beautiful gems of art scattered about I should imagine he must be a man of taste & means. I spent the afternoon with them very pleasently Miss S playing & singing Hyms & sacred pieces



there was a nice quiet subdued kind of religious halo about everything & everybody connected with the place so very different from anything that I have been accustomed to that I felt somewhat out of my element, I left them abaout 4.30, but not before Mr K delivered me impromptu service exhorting me to seek Jesus & endeavour to wean myself from the follies of this world & to learn to pray & pray without ceasing & much more to the point all of which was intended for my good & from the present Christian motives, heavens how little he knew how my thoughts were running riot. I am sure I was paying more attention to the graceful figure & bright face of Miss S who was looking so demure all the time I was *receiving my theological discourse. I fairly breathed freely when I got outside & commenced whistling by way of giving vent to my pent up feelings After tea I went out for a short time met an acquaintance & took a walk together home by 8.30. -

- - - - - - - August 6th.1865 Beautiful weather but rather cold in the mornings & evenings. Very busy at the office, in consequence of the delinquency of a fellow clerk named Nm.Harrison, who has been suspended & is now in the hands of the police for embezzling monies of the Co. I have been placed in the position he held, which is a much more responsible one & yet I am afraid I shall get no more salary for a long time to come having lately received an increase



I have spent but one whole evening at home during the week, the rest of my leisure time gone as usual knocking about. I have been to two parties one at Faulkners St Yarra & the other at *Thistlwaites St Kilda. My leisure daylight moments, I seldom attempt to read at night in consequence of my sight, Ive spent in reading Shakespears plays. This morning I went B St W.C afternoon Bessie & I took a walk around Fitzroy Gardens In the evening I went with a friend to St Patricks R.C. Church on Eastern Hill, the finest place of worship in Victoria or I should say it will be when its finished, at the conclusion of the service we met two girls we know slightly, the youngest of which I walked home with, her name is Louisa Burke, a daughter of very poor people, but she is a lovely little girl & appears to be very sharp & intelligent & if educated would be the making of a fascinating woman, she is a mere child as yet, I should not think was more than 15 years of age -

- - - - - - - - August 13th 1865 Lovely weather. Hard at work in my new Billet in the Goods office as Invoice & Endorsing Clerk, that is to say that or to explain what my duties are in The cargoes of the various vessels that are discharged at the Pier at Sandridge are brought to Melb by Rail & stored in immense Sheds until the various consignees to whom the goods belong to come to take them away



before doing which they present me there Bill of Lading which I compare with the Manifest of the Ship that I make up from the Captains or Ships papers The Rly charge upon the goods is 5s/d- per ton of 14 ft msmt. or if Iron or heavy goods by dead weight I have to see that we get the correct weight & measrmt of the same, make out the a/c & get paid for them after which I endorse the B/L for Delivery & as far as I am concerned they can take their goods away, not being well up to mark, it comes rather hard, but in time when I am more accustomed to it, mine will be a comfortable situation as far as the work is concerned. There used to be two clerks in the office, a Mr Harrison (who has been sentenced to two years imprisonment) & a Mr. Birch who through not reporting Harrison earlier has been discharged. I was put in the formers place while the latter has been filled by a young man named David Adamson, who is nominally, my superior, receives more salary, through having been longer in the Co. service. I am rather angered at this for he is not fitted for the situation, he writes a very poor hand & is very slow & the dullest hand at the simplest sum in Arithmetic I ever knew. I dont much like playing second fiddle to such a man, tho from the little that I have seen of him, I think, I shall like, he appears to know his deficiencies & is not at all presuming & appears very grateful for the assistance I lend him in doing his work. My evenings I have



I have spent as usual knocking about Monday evening Mr Bonaich came down from the country, he is Station Master at Ravenswood on the Sandhurst line of Railway he plays the piano very well & we spent the evening very jollily, he staid all night with us, He left early the next morning for his own home after purchasing some things towards the time he commences housekeeping. Saturday evening I went to see Barry Sullivan in Richard III he was very fine & the piece was placed upon the stage in a style unsurpassed in this country, he has a splendid company playing with him, it is a treat to see he brings things out grandly, & for doing so he deserves the patronage he gets - I went to Chapel this morning Spent the afternoon at home reading, In the evening I met Louisa Burke as I was going to St Peters Church took a strool for an hour with her instead, she is very simple & unaffected & yet shrewd & knowing in a quiet innocent way, on parting she said very archly. You must come & take me out for a walk next week I like you, very confiding, but rather a dangerous confidence to expose herself to too often -

- - - - - - 20th August 1865 Beautiful weather Still busy at the office, getting more accustomed to my work & so is my companion Adamson who is really a nice amiable fellow, very quiet & unassuming in his manners. Been very much annoyed this week in consequence of some misunderstanding



having taken place in reference to Bonaich & Bessie, he wants to break off the engagement, he gives no reason in a letter he sent further than he is offended by some remarks he has heard passed in connection with his engagement

On Wednesday evening I went to his sisters Mrs. Attenborough in St Yarra found no one at home I called at Allens in Collins St on my way home for Mary & Bessie who had been spending the evening there I remained until 11 Pm. The Allens are very nice people, but have been very unfortunate lately having lost nearly every member of their family from death during the last 18 months

On Friday night F.Rooke & myself with Mary & Bessie went to a Grand Volunteer Ball given in the Orderly Room Emerald Hill, it was well & fashionably attended & we succeeded in thoroughly enjoying ourselves we left about 4 am next morning felt anything but jolly next day, fortunately it was a short day being Saturday, so I slept away the afternoon. I dont much care for Balls I like a nice sociable party at a private house where I know everybody. After tea I went out & partly by accident I met L.Burke she said I was a really disagreeable fellow for not seeing her before & had a good mind not to speak to me Etc Etc, good gracious thought I this is coming it strong in my innocent little friend however I took her for a walk about Fitzroy gazing into Shop windows & listening to her piquant remarks on things in general - I rec’d



a note from Mr S.G.King on Thursday inviting me to spend to day with him, so this morning I went to the Wesley Church Nt Melb, where I met him, heard Dare present a most eloquent sermon after which I went with Mr K to his house Mrs K. & Miss Smith I found quite well & appeared very glad to see me after an excellent dinner to which I did ample justice to, we adjourned into the Drawing Room had some singing & some spiritual conversation which I discussed with fruit & other good things - until tea time. We all went to Chapel in the evening & heard Dare preach an excellent sermon from the Proverbs, "He who is often reproveth & hardeneth his neck shall be suddenly cut off" It was a good social practical sermon & one that I pray I may be profited by having heard, at its conclusion my friends pursuaded me to remain the prayermeeting nearly 10 Pm when I left them - & so passed one of the best, if not the best spent, day in my life. I firmly believe King & his family are good Christians I was never in so apparently a happy circle or home as theres appears to be, true sincerity & enjoyment unalloyed with all the petty jealousies & grievances so often met with in families such a kind confiding spirit seems to procede between them truly delightful to witness



- - - - - - August 27th 1865 Weather very unsettled the days are divided alternately between sunshine & showers with more of the latter than is pleasent. Still continues busy at the office - McCaffray from Bendigo called upon me, he is down on business. Mrs Hooper & family & other friends are well Last Monday I had a jolly spree. I met Louisa Burke going to a Soiree given by the Roman Catholics in the Orderly room down Victoria Parade she persuaded me to accompany her having nothing else to do I agreed & on payment of 1/- I was admitted into the room found it crowded with people the lowest riff raff I can ever think of meeting, it had been raining heavily & the smell & the fumes from the damp clothes was something frightful to inhale, it was supposed to be a Soiree *Dance & most of the people had come prepared to have a dance, but alas for their hopes of enjoyment in that respect the place on ordinary occasions might accommodate about 200 but on this extraordinary one there was supposed to be 1200 present. A M.C. called out a Quadrille was to be danced & it took an hour I am sure to get couples wedged together before it did commence, & by the shades of all that's lively! wasnt it fun to see the jigging & capering indulged in by all classes. (Catholic priests & laymen, the dirty & clean, rich & poor I should have written)



there were several toasts proposed during the evening the first being that of the "Blessed Pontiff Pius ?" which was most enthusiastically received. Then came the "Queen" which was hardly as warmly responded to as that of the Pope. I considered it an insult to place his "Holiness" as he was frequently called before our good Sovereign I muttered something of my feelings on the subject, but I *soon smothered them when I heard somebody present allude to me as an "Orangeman". I should liked to have given him "Lemons" however I thought I had better hold my tongue, which I did & made the best of my time. I really enjoyed myself the noise & novelty Etc all forming such a contrast to any -thing of the kind I ever witnessed before. Some of the speeches of the Clergy (R C) were very rich in brogue & racy in wit I couldnt help being amused by the artful plausible way they have in working upon the passions of their listeners & how well they know the characters of those they are addressing, but it was really sickening to witness the reverence & blind faith they display towards their pastors - The papers have been very severe upon the meeting & its promoters, alluding to the affair as a lot of low rowdy Catholics - I received an invitation to Harry Dights wedding which took place last Wednesday 23 inst. I could not go to the Ceremony, but I enjoyed myself pretty well in the evening at his mothers about 30 people were present & we danced in an empty room until 2 am next morning. The person he has married appears to be well suited for Harry. She is a fine robust healthy handsome



woman, & I have no doubt she will make him a good wife. She seems to have a strong will of her own & one that fights hard to have her own way. I feel positive there will be an eruption between them ere they are married a week – as to who will be the master in the future. I know nothing of her, never saw her until the night in question dear me! it is getting time I thought of getting married. I will look out for some girl thats merry, for as for marrying for love I feel that I get up that kind of sensation now, at least not in its true sense. I am beginning [to think] that matrimony is nothing but a lottery you may know a girl for years & would marry her & know very well, when reflection comes in calm moments, that the union will not be a happy one. I firmly believe ones chance of happiness is just as great if he marries the first girl he meets provided she is virtuous. Last evening I met Mr & Mrs. Dalrymple & Idalia Rekowski in town, & we arranged upon going to the Theatre, which we did I enjoyed my company very much better than I did the Opera of “Norma” which was never more badly performed in Melb, after the performance I walked to the station with my friends, when we parted, after securing a most pressing invitation to visit them. This morning I went to the W Chapel Bk St heard a good sermon on the "Mysterious Ways of Providence" In the afternoon Bessie & I took a long walk together around Fitzroy Gardens. In the evening I went to St Peters, came straight home from church.



[Sunday, 3 September 1865] Sept 2 1865 Beautiful weather during the past week. Very little of interest to note, read very little, thought less & acted nothing to any purpose Wednesday evening Fred Rooke & Will Kelly spent at our house, singing Etc Thursday evening I took a young lady to the Theatre to hear the Opera of the “Bohemian Girl” with Beaumont as Thaddeus, it was a great success, Beaumont fairly surprising the audience by the manner in which he sang the music alotted him, he is the best Tenor the Colony has produced as yet, his voice is of a good quality, strong & flexible, & he appears to have a fine physique & I fancy in time when he has had more experience that he will find very few superiors either in Europe or elsewhere. I am not alone in my opinion - Friday evening I went out for a strool met my little friend Louisa, who joined me me in my ramble for half an hour, on leaving her I met an acquaintance & we were together till 10.30 when I got came home, on arriving here I found a young Scotchman named Robertson, who had arrived from NZ lately he brought me a letter of introduction he had from J Hamilton. I felt sorry that I was not at home to entertain him, he leaves Melb for Queensland on Monday where he is engaged to erect an engine & other Mchy, so we made our adieus. Saturday at noon, as usual,



on leaving business I called at the City Baths for my weekly ablution, came home, had a good dinner then read for a couple hours & afterwards took a walk into town, came home & had tea & went to town again, met Tom & F.Rooke & we went together to hear the Opera of “Il Trovatore” enjoyed it very much - This morning I went to the Catholic Chapel, Eliz. St & heard some good singing & witnessed a deal of foolery & idolatry in connection with the service. In the afternoon I took Miss Main , a young lady who lives with us, & my sister Bessie out for a walk to Fitzroy Gardens, being a *S- day we met a great number of people, after tea I went to hear the Revd Mr Milliard preach, he chose for his subject the story of the "Pharisee & the publicans prayer"

I was very much annoyed one day during the week on entering my office to find a letter a/c to me, from Harrison & written in the Gaol it requested me to visit him & take a copy of Shakespearean works & other books & papers with me also some postage stamps & clean linen, & to get the latter from his sister in law Nt Melb’, I dont know why he should have written to me, for I was not more intimate with him than any of the other clerks several of whom had seen the a/c & knowing it came from Harrison, thought it rather suspicious. The Manager



was in the office at the time & I handed him the letter I thought it was the best course to adopt so as to avoid anything like suspicion being cast upon me. Mr. C. recommended me to obey the dictates of anything like charitable feeling I could entertain towards the man but advised me at the same time, not to give him any encouragement for continuing his solicitations - I called upon his relation in the evening, showed her his letter, which after reading she gave vent to such a torrent of abuse at my impudence in daring to call on his behalf, the vagabond she said! look here sir, & pulling forward two dirty miserable little specimens of humanity, these are his children, by my sister, who is now in the hospital dying from what some people would say was consumption but what I know to be a broken heart, & I am a widow & how hard to myself & five children without burdening myself with those of others, but thank God Ive settled them. They are to go to the Orphan Asylum tomorrow. She would have kept on till now relating all her griefs & troubles which I must confess were rather of a character to awaken ones sympathy - What a lesson Harrison's evil courses should prove to those who are aware of the sad consequences of his ill doings -



- - - - - - Sept 10th.1865
Lovely weather during the week. Very slack at the office, no ships at the Pier. We are getting New Sheds & Offices erected & the whole affair at present is in a frightfully condition There are four of us crowded in a little dark office so that I shant be sorry when the new one is erected it is a fortunate thing, in one sense, that we are so slack. Spent most of my evenings at home with the exception of Tuesday when I went to hear the Opera of “Massaniello” . It was the first time I ever heard it & it pleased me exceedingly, being by far the best Opera the Lyster Troupe have produced this season. The music is very light & pretty & the tenor part seems to have been written for Squires it suits him so admirably, there is a delicious little Solo “My Sister Dear” in it & with the exception of “Beauteous Agnes” from “Fra Diavolo” he has sung nothing in Melb, for tact & feeling, to equal it. Last evening on leaving the house I met L Burke I cant go out but what I dont meet her somehow or another she always throws herself in my way. I walked to town with her, where I left her, on parting I met some fellow clerks of mine & we spent an hour or two in the "Temple of Pomona" very pleasently

This morning I went out for a walk, met Lizzie Atkinson took a strool together, saw her home



on leaving her, I met my sisters coming from Church, came home together In the afternon Bessie & Miss Mayne & I took a walk to Fitzroy Gardens, met Geo Ramsden who insisted upon us going to see over the new mansion his father has just built in Clarendon St, it is a magnificent Villa residence Italian in its style, & fitted up with every appliance & luxury that wealth can procure, every room is beautifully furnished, & with such good taste, which rather surprised me considering the low vulgar minded man old Ramsden is, we met Mrs. Ramsden & Mrs. James at the door on leaving stayd chatting with them a short time. After arriving home & having tea I went to Trinity Church Et Melb heard the Revd – Wollaston preach an awfully dry prosy sermon at its conclusion I came straight home -

- - - - - - Sept 18, 1865
Another pleasent week as far as the weather is concerned I have been away from Melbourne since Saturday morning & only returned home late on Sunday evening, too late to sit down & continue my journal, so I postponed doing it until now. Last Monday evening my sisters & I were invited to a party at Mr Gotchs house Et M a most agreeable affair it turned out to be, the host & hostess who are really very sociable, goodnatured people doing their utmost to make there company



enjoy themselves & make them feel at home & sociable we had plenty of singing & dancing & an excellent supper was provided, plenty of good wines, & fruits & confectionery with all the delicacies of the season being provided, to which good things ample justice was done. to It was early next morning when the party broke up, our pleasure was somewhat marred by a heavy shower of rain that fell when we were halfway home compelling us to seek the friendly shelter of a verandah for an hour or so - Monday evening on leaving business I accompanied T.Rooke home to Emerald Hill & after having dinner with him at his mothers, we went to a Concert at the Mechanics Institute given by the Eld Hill Philharmonic Society under the Leadership of a Mr David Lee a rising musician who has lately come to the Colony to whom very much praise is due for the manner in which the Te Deums of [Handel] & the Mozarts 12th. Mass was rendered, the Choruses were the best, I think, I ever heard. The principal vocalists were Messrs Exon (who has a nice Tenor voice) Brown & Trowell (Baritones Mesdames Ross, Bee & Ellis the latter is a beautiful singer & one that will afford me very much pleasure to hear again. T.Rooke accompanied me part of the way home - Thursday & Friday evening I spent abroad rambling about with one & or another acquaintance Saturday morning I arose at 5.30 & walked to the Rly Station, Spencer St took a return ticket for Sandhurst. 35/- 2nd class



started at 15.7 Am reached Ravenswood by m5.10 Am (12 miles from Bendigo) where I left the train, the principal object of my journey was to see Mr. Bonaich (who is Station Master there) in reference to the breaking off from his engagement with my sister Bessie, the reason of his doing so being quite a mystery to our family. I insisted upon his giving me the reason, when the skulking vagabond began by informing me that his was of a highly sensitive nature & that he had been shocked by the repetition of a silly joke which was made at Mrs. Morriss, that so annoyed him as he thinks it originated from a member of our family. I am quite ashamed to allude to the subject, it is so *tempory. In a letter he wrote to my mother when he proposed for Bessie he said his salary was not very much but sufficient to plan within the of society - on my last visit to Mr Griffins at St. Kilda in talking about the affair, I repeated the remark about the pale. Mrs G. repeated it again at Mrs Morriss' who being fond of a joke, made one in reference to the literal signification, of a Pail & a couple living in one, when another friend who was present alluded to Diogenes living in a Tub, but he thought it would be a difficult matter for a couple like Bonaich & Bessie to live in a Pail (bucket) Mr. B’s sensitive nature shrivelled up on hearing of this good humoured joking, on the part of his most intimate friends, concerning his connection with my sister, & him. I was not slow in letting him know my opinion of him



& his unmanly conduct, he is a sneaking coward & I would expose him, only it would place my sister in such a questionable light, he assumed rather a high tone at first but seeing me look dangerous & no help nigh (I had locked the office door, having made up my mind to give him a good thrashing, or receive one), he changed his tone & became very meek & humble, promising to apologise by letter to my sister & family for his contemptible behaviour. I had had to wait 3 hours before I saw him at his house. I found 3 young ladies there Miss Attenborough & Miss Passmore, from Melb & Miss MCartney from Bendigo, when I went into the room I had to introduce myself, soon felt at home, we spent the time very agreeably singing Etc I left by about 4 Pm, reached Sandhurst 20 minutes afterwards, went at once to my Cousin Lizzies, who with her husband appeared very glad to see me I did not stay long but went into Pall Mall found Ned Rowitt Cooperage, saw my cousin Harry thumping away at a Tub he was finishing, he is learning the trade, poor fellow it is very praiseworthy of him commencing at his age to learn a trade. I wish I had been so circumspect a few years back to have done the same, had a long chat about things & returned together to Lizzies where we found a good tea provided after discussing it to our bellys content Harry & I took a strool about the "Mall" met many old friends & acquaintances, had a look into the Gold Brokers windows at the display of gold. I am sure there must have been £25,000 worth at least in one window on View Point



& not much less in one or two other windows, I noticed a great many fine shops & buildings have been erected since I left Bendigo What a contrast the neighbourhood presents to what it did when I first visited it the beginning of 1852 when all around was forest land, & where the town of Sandhurst now stands, grass grew & kangaroos & possums lived in all their solitary glory but now one hears nothing but the busy hum of the human "bee” & the noisy snorting & whistling of Steam Engines & the eye sickens as it gazes upon the scene around covered with heaps of yellow clay & mullock & dirty sludge from the Machines.

While strolling about I met my old friend Lockey Frazer (Bakers Son) he had heard I was on Bendigo & he had left home determined to seek me, he has grown a fine handsome man, he we related our various experiences since last we met. After I left Bendigo he commenced studying for the Ministry of Christ, but after some time he discovered he was not fitted for it & his patron & tutor leaving the neighbourhood, confirmed his intention of giving up the idea, through interest he got a clerkship in the Bk of Victoria, where he is at present engaged wh with every prospect of speedy advancement, he informed that Scott (the old teller in the Bank, an old acquaintance of mine) had just returned from Otago & informed him that he had met my brother Edward some weeks previously on the "Dunstan" where he was at the old game, keeping a Billiard Room, cursed low occupation, I would sooner hear of him sweeping a crossing or blacking boots for a living



I slept at Lizzies & next morning after an early breakfast I walked over to Long Gully, met Sally Piggott on the way. I hardly remembered her she has (grown) quite a nice lady like looking girl, after passing some "banter" to each other as we used to do in the days of "auld lang syne" we parted. I had a look into several tents, saw more strange than familiar faces - very few of the old hands are left now about the old spot. I saw J.Hall, Grant, Gibson & a few more whose names figure in some portion of my old journal. They were all glad to see me & made quite a fuss & paid me so much deference owing probably to my having on a black coat, & when we used to be familiar I wore a blue serge shirt, ah me! how times are changed! I found Mrs Hooper, good old soul – expecting me with outstretched arms as if I was some long lost son of hers, she had a couple of eggs & some cocoa ready for me, fully expecting I had come out to breakfast with her. I stayd about 2 hours with her when Bob came in & we went to California Gully together visited all the people I know there, hadnt much time to spare, I took a cab & rode into Sandhurst, called on the Frazers, spent an hour with them. The old man is much altered, growing very grissly & Miss F who used to be such a little fat dumpling has grown tall & stout. Mrs F is the same quiet nice little woman as of old, in leaving them I called at Ned Rowitt who since my last visit to Bendigo married Mary King. I was sorry to find



they had both gone out. I did not call on the Kings they or some of them tried to make mischief between Harry Dight & I, by informing that on my last visit to Sandhurst I spoke most contemptibly of him & his family, what an absurd idea. They are the last people in the world I would say anything against & so very foreign to my nature to disparage anybody. I returned to Lizzie & made a hasty Tea & a hasty adieus, several friends accompanied me to the station left by the 5 Pm train & had a carriage to myself all the way to town. I fancy I must have fell asleep on leaving Castlemaine, for I dreamed or fancied I was walking under a burning sun & carrying a heavy swag as I have done years ago on the same road I hope my dreaming may never turn to reality.

I met my Bro’ Fred at the Spencer St Station on my arrival in Melb - walked home together found everything all right. Bessie & my mother are not at all satisfied at the result of my mission they want to have Bonaich exposed, foolish idea to bring the subject before everybody to discuss & make scandel of. Very few are aware of the engagement & I fancy the best plan is not to have any thing more to do with Bonaich. Bessie is only 17 & has not very strong feelings, & I have no doubt, she will cease to think of him in a few days



[Monday, 25 September 1865] Sept 24 [25] 1865 Lovely weather, summer setting in. Monday evening I met a young girl that I scraped acquaintance with somewhere or another, took a walk in Fitzroy Gardens. I never saw such a place for "couples" in my life, its a fine fruit garden, as a friend of mine facetiously remarked, although no fruit bearing trees Pears (pairs) thrive well in it. Tuesday night I met Jms Swanson, a young fellow I knock about with occasionally, tho I dont much care for his society, we took a long strool together - Wednesday evening I went home to dinner with Tom Rooke after which several friends of his dropped in forming quite a Bachelors party. We spent, the time very jollily, I leaving them & coming home by the last train

Thursday I went to Richmond with a young man named H.B.Judd who I lent £15 to, I accompanied him to some grocer named W.Winter who endorsed the Bill for the amount. I had dinner at Judds house after which he accompanied me home, & he spent the rest of the evening with me. Friday evening I went to Richmond in company with Fred. Saturday afternoon I spent reading until 4 PM afterwards took a walk into town & back after tea mother & I went to see Mrs Morris, on reaching the house where she lived found it empty, having gone to live at Williamstown a couple of days ago. We were rather disappointed & to



increase of annoyance it came on to rain & blow that made it a difficult matter to get my mother home

Sunday morning Bessie & I went to the Rly Station to go to Williamstown & see Mrs Morris in reference to the Bonaich affair. The train had just started & not feeling inclined to wait several hours for the next, we returned home. After dinner I went to Emerald Hill called for the Rookes who with myself had been invited to a Sunday party at the Kellys, a R Catholic family we are acquainted with The first thing on entering was to open the piano & bring out cards & Gin about 20 people were present & bent upon enjoyment some taking to whist others to whisling & the rest to music & singing. I never spent such a Sunday before nor do I care if I never spend such another 80 songs were sung by one & another of the company it was after 12 when we broke up I stayed at Rookes all night, & had breakfast with them this morning

On leaving business this evening I went to the Spencer St Rly Station where I met my sister Bessie as per appointment & we went to Williamstown to see Mrs Morris, had our journey for nothing Mrs M having gone out somewhere We were very much disappointed on arriving in town I put Bessie into a cab & sent her home, (Walked home myself, met a few on the way & we took a strool together -



- - - - - - October 1st.1865 Lovely weather. Still continue busy at the office 3 large ships having arrived at our pier during the week

I have been out nearly every evening somewhere or another Last night I accompanied Mother & Mary shopping, our house is like a dressmaking establishment in consequence of the approaching wedding of my sister Mary which is to take place next Tuesday the 3rd inst to Mr. Jn.Jms Clark. I dont take much interest in the affair Clark & I not being on the best of terms we had some words, in reference to his intentions to- -wards my sister some months ago, he had been *coming after now for nearly 5 years & I thought it was high time some understanding was come to, he objected to my interference & several unpleasent epistles passed between us which resulted in producing an estrangement between him & our family, however Mary has met him & I know she is fond of him & so they have come to the determination of getting married, he is so insuff -erably proud & distant that although I admire him his intellectual attainments I do not at all like the prospect of his marrying my darling sister, their natures being so entirely different from each others that I fear it will not prove a happy union. God grant it may be different from what I anticipate & that I have misunderstood him. I am truly sorry there is not a better spirit existing between us, so as



to make things a little more pleasent on the occasion It falls to my lot to give her away which is not a pleasent duty to perform under the circumstances. I have asked Fred to do it, but he is, if possible, is more prejudiced against him than myself -

I went to St Francis R.C. Chapel this morning & heard the Choir practise Rossinis "Stabat Mater" in a very creditable manner Donaldson singing the “Cyrius Aninum" pretty well tho’ I fancy it was sung in a transposed key. Miss Mayne Bessie & I took a walk in the Fitzroy Gardens this afternoon, came on to rain heavily, had a difficulty in getting home dry, between the showers -

This evening I went to the Wesley Chapel met Miss Burke after the service, & walked home with her she is a dear little girl & appears to be very partial to me I like her too well to ruin her & not well enough to think seriously of her, so I have adopted the plan which is the best I think that of avoiding her as much as possible -

Oct. 8th 1865 Lovely weather but a little too hot, summer setting in in good earnest. Mary, Mother, & I spent the evening of Monday shopping in the neighbourhood Tuesday morning altho’ my dear sister Mary's Wedding, I was obliged to go to the office, I left at 10. am, & on coming home I soon dressed & my



sisters being ready I accompanied them in a carriage to St Johns Church, Elizth St. We found we [were)] there rather early. I was glad we were for Mary was so nervous & excited that it gave her time to compose herself a little, Clark, coming, accompanied by his Bro George, who was his best man, the Ceremony was got through in no time & after receiving the *usual homily given on such occasions by the clergyman the Revd - Barlow, the whole party adjourned to our house, (after the happy couple had received the *congratulations of numerous friends who I must state, half filled the church) after partaking of some refreshment Mary & Clark left us & went to Brighton, where they remained a few days after they went, his relations remained about two hours, I was not sorry when they had gone, for I had been in anything but good spirits during the time Clark & I were very cool to each other just civil & that was all I was in one of my disagreeable moods & could not free myself. I really felt ashamed of myself at being so unsociable & distant in my manner In the afternoon Miss Forrester & Miss Mayne with Bessie & Fred whom I accompanied took a strool into town, came home & after tea a number of acquaintances dropped in & we managed to spend a very jolly evening together it being 2 OC the next morning when we broke up.

Our house seems very dull & quiet since



Mary left us she was the life & soul of it, having always such a fund of good spirits, the very piano seems melancholy & disconsolate since her departure, they were so associated together that it leads me to ascribe human attributes to the old instrument. We already miss her cheery laugh & her playing & singing. God grant that her future life will be a happy one. I dont feel very sanguine about it, Clark & her, being of such opposite dispositions, eventually they may drop into each others ways, & come to understand each other better. They returned from Brighton yesterday & Mary paid us a visit, she was in fair spirits & seemed more like some madcap got loose from School than a wife -

Wednesday evening I went out for a strool for a short time. Thursday evening I went to Mrs Watmuffs, Hoddle St & took her some cake, called on H Dight on my way home & spent a couple of hours with him & Mrs D -

Friday I staid at home in the evening - Saturday on leaving business, I called for some portraits of Mary that she had taken a few days before getting married, they are excellent likenesses. This morning & evening I went [to the] Bk.St.Chapel, in the afternoon, Bessie & I went for a walk, met G Ramsden, who came home to tea with us -


127? Johnston St. Fitzroy, October 1865

[1865-10-15] Oct 15th.1865 Beautiful weather. I am getting sick of keeping a journal. I sit with my pen in my hand not knowing really at the time what to write about I am beginning to look upon journal keeping as "Montaigne did who said it was a pleasent system of confirming one in egotism. In my “digging” days I always had some thing or another in the way of a change to notice but now my existence has dropped into a kind of groove & here I am in it & heaven only knows when I shall get out of it. The English Mail arrived in on time, for a wonder, bringing a short letter from my father informing us that he has not been well for some time, suffering from "sciatica". A gentleman of the name of Grieve called upon me one day this week he had just come from Dunedin & was enroute for Gt Britain, he is well acquainted with Mr & Mrs Hamilton who he informed me were both well when he left N.Z. On Monday evening I went to Geo. Dodds wedding, (he is a great friend of H.Dights) a jolly lot were present & what with eating drinking singing dancing Etc Etc it was 4 OC next morning when the party broke up Friday evening Fred & I went to hear the Christy Minstrels. Herberte sang some beautiful songs & I was also pleased by the manner the Company sang some Quartettes Saturday afternoon on leaving business I went to the Falls Bridge



Yarra Basin where I met Kidgell Saunders & Lennox the former owns a pretty sailing boat in which we all embarked. We pulled down the Yarra to the junction of the Saltwater River when taking advantage of a slant of wind we hoisted sail & sped up the Saltwater River in fine style. On reaching Footscray we landed & discussed a couple of pots of "Shandy Gaff" & again took boat a sail of 2 miles brought us to the residence of Mr Cameron an old bachelor gentleman that Kidgell lives with Mr. C made us very welcome & we sat down to a fine dinner to which we did ample justice to, our sail & pulling having increased our appetites to an alarming extent, after its discussion, we had another discussion of an intellectual description found my companions to be very intelligent young men far above the average. Night closed in upon us when we had finished talking & after tea we took our boat again & pulled up for a mile or two very slowly, passing the time away singing, we left the boat at Raleighs Ferry & then walked to the Moonie Ponds, where we engaged a cab which conveyed us into town & so passed one of the most enjoyable days that I have spent in Melbourne the company & occupation being so congenial to my own taste This morning, Sunday, I spent reading Victor Hugo “Tour of the Rhine, I found it very interesting being a compilation of old legends, stories, reminiscences, recollections Etc in connection with the Towns villages, Castles & Ruins, visited by the writer - In the afternoon I took my usual strool to settle my



dinner & gain an appetite for my tea. In the evening I left home to go to the Nt Melb’ Wesley Church but meeting Lizzie Atkinson & having a long chat with her made me late so I went to the Lonsdale St Chapel & heard the Revd Joseph Dare preach an excellent sermon – at its termination I met the two Miss Finnegans, Miss Bessie F I found very much affected in consequence of of an allusion made in the sermon to the death of her lover Mr. Gillingham, who was killed a few days ago in Swanston St by a vehicle knocking him down, it was a sad accident, he had just left Miss F. & was springing off the curbing backwards when a Ginger Beer cart coming round the corner of Collins ran against him, he died shortly afterwards. I had seen them together but a few minutes before the accident happened.

- - - - - - - - 22 Oct 1865 Been very hot this week & not feeling well myself the weather has been doubly oppressive to me. I have suffered from a succession of violent headaches, a most unusual thing for me to have, I fancy they have arisen from being too closely confined in the office I am engaged, being very small & badly lighted & there being five & sometimes Six clerks at work in it, my employees are erecting new Sheds & Offices which I trust will not be long before they are finished, being heartily sick of the



inconvenience of our present accommodation I have spent most of my evenings at home excepting an hour or so after tea, when I would take a strool about the neighbourhood.

- - On leaving business yesterday (Saturday) at 12 AM (my usual time) I met my second cousin Alfred Peel who I discovered in such a singular manner on the Manuherikia N.Z. Since meeting him last in Dunedin he has been home to England on a visit to his parents in Halifax & where he got married to a girl he was engaged to, he arrived in Melb by the S.S. Gt Britain three weeks ago, he is thinking of going into the country somewhere & commencing business, when he has disposed of a lot of goods he brought out with him, he came home to dinner with me, but left directly afterward. Bessie & I spent the afternoon at East Melb. playing Croquet with some friends there, after which Bessie went to Mrs *Schwercrofts to tea The rest of the party, myself included, went to Mrs. Saunders to tea & spent an agreeable evening afterward I accompanied some young ladies home to Richmond, nearly 12 when I got home & was very tired. This morning I remained at home


127 or 28 Johnston St. Fitzroy, October 1865

reading Tom Hoods "Miss Kilmansegg & her Golden Leg" it is a splendidly composed poem being a most withering satire on Mammon Worship. I think it is the best of Hoods works that I have read. I read his “*Vere *Verikers *Vengence” a little while since, it is very funny & racy but its a class of wit I dont much care about. Bessie & I took our usual walk this afternoon In the evening I went to the Brunswick St Wesley Church heard a long winded discourse it contained plenty of matter for reflection, were I so disposed or inclined for receiving it, I fear I am a terribly hardened wicked sinner good counsel & what is good, true & holy appear to make no im- -pression upon my petrified nature, at the conclusion of the service I met Harry Clark & we rambled about for an hour or so, we met my sister Mary & husband John James Clark, but we did not stop to speak to them

- - - - - - - - Oct 29th.1865
Pleasent weather. I have felt much better this week than last, expect to get into my new office next week. Monday evening I went out for a strool, Tuesday evening on leaving business I called on Alf Peel. Alf introduced me to his wife a very nice person. They spent the evening at our house, they are going to "Sale" Gipps Land where Alf has purchased a business. I sincerely hope that


127 or 28 Johnston St. Fitzroy, October 1865

he will be prospered, he made me a present of ½ doz volumes of "Elyard Extracts" Wednesday evening I walked out to Prahran to pay a long promised visit, to Mr & Mrs. Dalrymple it was a long walk but I was well repaid by the kind welcome I received from them & from the pleasure I enjoyed in their company & that of Mrs. D.s sister Idalia Rekowski, & Miss Atkinson who were visiting them I left them earlier than I should have done, but having to walk home, some 4 miles, necessitated my leaving earlier than I otherwise would have done - Saturday afternoon I played Croquet with the Eglington Club at Et Melbourne, the members being very agreeable people I enjoyed the game In the evening I went to the Theatre & heard the Cristy Minstrels, Their "Tenor" H.Herberte has a beautiful voice, in fact he is the only one of the Coy I care about listening to - This morning (Sunday) I spent reading, In the afternoon [with] my sister Bessie went out for a walk. In the evening I went to Nt. Melb. Wlyn Chapel & heard the Revd Mr. Daniels preach an excellent sermon, at the conclusion of the service I met Mr S.G.King & Miss Smith, who induced me to remain to the prayer meeting, I afterwards accompanied them home & partook of supper, after which some more praying - then a long serious conversation


127 or 28 Johnston St. Fitzroy, October 1865

on spiritual matters he exhorted me most earnestly to become a child of God & give my- -self up to him, to pray for faith which he thinks I only need to become a Christian. I must to a great extent be very callous on the subject, for I must candidly confess I dont feel touched as yet, my soul appears to rebel against my feelings at times but I feel both are in too passive a state upon that subject at present, I feel down right wicked at times when I am a/d upon the question of salvation & I dont seem to have strength of mind sufficient to resist my rebellious thoughts - What a different frame of mind Mr. King has to me, he so happy confident & joyous as to the future & I so careless, reckless & hopeless - & yet I pray Oh Lord incline my heart to what is good, pure & holy & give me strength to overcome temptation

Melbourne - Novr.5 1865 Weather has been very hot. Got into our new office last Tuesday, the work appears nothing now that we have more room & conveniences. The office that I call mine is one of four rooms built upon the St Kilda platform, away from the Sheds, making it



much more healthy to be in than the old one I was formerly in. Business has been rather slack during the week, partly [due] to the Annual Races taking place at Flemington & not having many ships discharging at the pier. Wednesday upon leaving the office I accompanied Fred Rooke home had dinner at his mothers, after which I went with [him] to the “Kellys” spent the evening singing card playng Etc rather late when we broke up I can’t say I enjoyed myself. I dont like the people. Miss K. is the only one of the family I think is worthy of respect, I fancy my friend Fred is rather “spoony” upon, she is not a beauty by any means, but I dare say she possesses charms which are not beheld by the eye, but speak to the inner sense. Saturday afternoon Bessie & I played Croquet at Et Melb. with the usual set, a nicer nor a more agreeable lot of people I never met before, it was nearly dark when we gave up play, Mr. Saunders invited us to tea at his mothers which invitation we accepted Old Mrs. S. is an exceedingly nice old lady a highly educated person & I think a Christian in the true sense of the word, she is a little wizened looking woman, very prim & ceremonious, but who can adapt herself to young peoples ways & manners - her son


127 or 28 Johnston St. Fitzroy, October 1865

James is a fine intelligent young fellow, with good principles, upright & manly, he is about 22 years of age I should think, but from his manner, the correctness of his mind, sound judgement, & general bearing, he might be mistaken for 35, I could not help drawing a comparison between him & the general character of Melbourne young men. I think he has lived a great deal at home, & is somewhat tied to his mothers apron strings, has not mixed much in the world, very often these characters when they break through the trammels of home associations, do not realize the expectations of those who watch their careers

I did not leave home to day until the evening, when I went to hear the Revd. Isaacs New preach or lecture upon the “Pentateuch” the object of his discourse was to refute Colenzo's attack upon the writings of Moses, I never listened to anything finer, he was eloquent & logical, he displayed a comprehensiveness of mind & depth of knowledge I never heard equalled before in the pulpit -



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