Mary Elizabeth (Stafford) Gaylord (1839 - 1879)

Born 1839 in Cumberland Island, Camden, Georgia, United States

Ancestors

Wife of Frederick Augustus Palmer — married 23 Jun 1859 (to about 1874) in Norwich, New London, Connecticut, United States

Wife of Charles Hyde Gaylord — married 25 Aug 1874 in Groton, New London, Connecticut

Descendants

Died 22 May 1879 at about age 40 in Groton, New London, Connecticut

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Biography

Mary (Stafford) Gaylord is a part of US Black heritage.

Mary was born into slavery and was the daughter of Robert Stafford, a Georgia plantation owner and Elizabeth Barnardey, one of his slaves, although at the time of her birth, her mother was the slave of the Bernardey family. ^{[1] [2]} This couple lived openly as man and wife although no marriage could take place due to the laws in place at the time in Georgia. Elizabeth and Mary had been gifted to Robert Stafford in a deed of gift, dated 28 December 1841, by Marguerite Barnardey, a neighbor of Stafford's. She transferred them to him "in consideration of her good will and affection for his services." He had assisted her by managing her plantation and business affairs for the past eight to ten years. ^[3] The deed read, in part:

sold the following property viz My Mulatto Girl Elizabeth and her child Mary about two years old [and her future increase] with this proviso [Robert Stafford] agrees that the ...said Elizabeth shall remain in the property of ...Margaret Bernardey during her natural life, or furnish said...Bernardey if she requires it a House Servant in lieu of ...Elizabeth in case he takes her away from ...Margaret Bernardey. ^[4]

Succumbing to pressure from his contemporaries and neighbors, Mary, her mother, and five siblings were moved to New England in 1847. ^[5] In New England the family registered as "mulatto," a designation used back then to indicate any person of color who was not predominantly black. ^[6] The children were well educated since they were raised with all the "amenities" available to the upper class in the 19th century. ^[7] The ladies of the family were very social in the community of Groton, Connecticut, entertaining quite extensively. ^[8] They held "dinner but with the type of musical soirees and amateur theatricals that appealed to a more sophisticated class."

In 1870 Mary is shown living with her husband, Frederick, children Roberta and Mary E. ^[9] Also in her home was her young sister Ellen Stafford. ^[10]

Mary died 22 May 1879 in Groton, Connecticut at age 41. ^[11] Her cause of death was consumption. ^[12]

Marriage

Mary's first husband was Frederick A. Palmer, a mortgage broker and member of the South Carolina legislature. ^[13] They were married on 23 June 1859 in Norwich, Connecticut. ^[14] They were both listed as aged 20 years. ^[15] They remained married for about 15 years before divorcing. ^[16] They were the parents of two daughters, Roberta (Berta) and Mary Ellen (Mellie). ^[17]

Secondly, she married Charles Hyde Gaylord, a Yale educated doctor. ^[18] Their marriage took place on 25 August 1874. ^[19] They were the parents of one child, Robert Horace Gaylord.

Sources

1. ↑ Death Record (names father)
2. ↑ Valdes
3. ↑ Bullard; pg. 289
4. ↑ Bullard; pg. 289, citing Deed of gift to "Negro." Dated December 28, 1841, and recorded April 18, 1842. Deed Book N, 372. Records of Camden County, Georgia.
5. ↑ Valdes
6. ↑ Valdes
7. ↑ Valdes
8. ↑ Valdes
9. ↑ 1870 US Federal Census
10. ↑ 1870 US Federal Census
11. ↑ Death Record
12. ↑ Death Record
13. ↑ Valdes
14. ↑ Marriage Record
15. ↑ Marriage Record
16. ↑ Bullard
17. ↑ Bullard
18. ↑ Valdes
19. ↑ Bullard

• de Valdez y Cocom, Mario. "The Blurred Racial Lines of Famous Families - Stafford," Frontline, online article (https://www.pbs.org/wgbh/pages/frontline/shows/secret/famous/stafford.html : accessed 24 July 2020).
• Bullard, Mary R. Robert Stafford of Cumberland Island: Growth of a Planter, Athens, Georgia : University of Georgia Press, 1995 [available in print only]
• Bullard, Mary R. "Deconstructing a Manumission Document: Mary Stafford's Free Paper." The Georgia Historical Quarterly 89, no. 3 (2005): 285-317 (https:www.jstor.org/stable/40584841 : accessed July 25, 2020).
• "Connecticut Marriages, 1630-1997", database, FamilySearch (https://familysearch.org/ark:/61903/1:1:F7PT-V57 : 11 January 2020), Mary E. Stafford in entry for Frederick A. Palmer, 1859.
• "Connecticut, Deaths, 1640-1955", database, FamilySearch (https://www.familysearch.org/ark:/61903/1:1:F77H-FZW : 11 June 2020), Mary Gaylord in entry for Robert H. Gaylord, 1876. [birth of son Robert H. Gaylord]
• "Connecticut, Deaths, 1640-1955", database, FamilySearch (https://www.familysearch.org/ark:/61903/1:1:F72S-NY8 : 11 June 2020), Mary H. Gaylord, 1879.
• "Massachusetts Deaths, 1841-1915," database with images, FamilySearch (https://familysearch.org/ark:/61903/1:1:N72L-4S3 : 6 April 2020), Mary E. in entry for Mary E. Gaylord, 05 Dec 1880; citing Chicopee, Massachusetts, v 319 p 347, State Archives, Boston; FHL microfilm 960,218. [death record of daughter]
• Find a Grave, database and images (https://www.findagrave.com : accessed 12 July 2020), memorial page for Mary Elizabeth Stafford Gaylord (15 Oct 1839–22 May 1879), Find A Grave: Memorial #94124254, citing Cedar Grove Cemetery, New London, New London County, Connecticut, USA ; Maintained by Irma (contributor 46927625).

Census Records

• "United States Census, 1870", database with images, FamilySearch (https://familysearch.org/ark:/61903/1:1:MN72-8RR : 19 March 2020), Mary S Palmer in entry for Fred A Palmer, 1870.