Margaret Matilda (Stilwell) Alexander (1847 - 1931)

Ancestors

Descendants

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Biography

Margaret Matilda and Frances M. Stilwell were identical twins, born January 16, 1847 to Silas Nelson Stillwell and Mary Williamson.

After the war, on February 6, 1868, a farmer and member of Sharon Church named William McCall married Frances at Pleasant Grove in Mecklenburg County. Maggie became a member of the church on April 13, 1867 and lived with William and Frances at the time of the 1870 census. Maggie married another church member, John Smith Alexander (also a twin!) on December 11, 1873.

In 1881 Maggie and Smith bought a farm from her father, located near Matthews, in the Morning Star Township, where they raised cotton. All their children were born in Mecklenburg County. Around 1896 they moved their family to Moore County, to a farm on River Road, by the Deep River. There they joined Euphronia Presbyterian Church in October of 1896. Smith died November 24, 1904. Maggie continued to live on Deep River until she died on July 16, 1931. Their graves are at Euphronia, in Lee County.

Note

Note: Margaret and Frances are twins

Marriage and Children After the war, Smith and his wife, Maggie (Margaret) Stilwell, established a farm in the Matthews area, where they grew cotton. Smith was not prosperous, but he was a Presbyterian church elder and a community leader. They named their first child Julia , possibly after the only child of Stonewall Jackson and his wife Anna, and buried her at Sharon Presbyterian Church. They raised five more children, three boys and two girls. Maggie was younger than Smith by twenty years. Smith Stands on Principle Smith Alexander was a man of strong principles, and he was also described as a "hard-headed old Scotchman." He was a strict disciplinarian, both at home and in the church. Until the beginning of the twentieth century, the Presbyterian churches held disciplinary sessions for members accused of behavior such as drinking too much alcohol, sexual relationships outside of marriage, quarreling with neighbors, and fighting. Offenders would be summoned to appear before a group of elders who would decide on their punishment, based upon their appearance of remorse. Church members could receive a scolding, temporarily lose the right to take communion, or they could be expelled from the church. As the nineteenth century drew toward its end, these disciplinary actions seem to have become less popular. Around 1896, a young woman in Smith's congregation became pregnant by a man to whom she was not married, who perhaps was married to someone else. The father of the baby promised to support the child, and the mother, to take proper care of it, and so the community was satisfied that the best had been made of a bad situation. Smith was not satisfied, however, and insisted upon a church trial. Perhaps the offending parties were not expressing what he considered true regret at having violated the teachings of the church. The custom of sessions was based upon such scriptural admonitions as First Timothy, chapter five, verse twenty: "Them that sin rebuke before all, that others also may fear." Verse twenty-one underlines this responsibility heavily: "I charge thee before God, and the Lord Jesus Christ, and the elect angels, that thou observe these things...doing nothing by partiality." In addition to Smith's religious beliefs, he may have been acting upon his values as a Master Mason. The Mason's organization did not take precedence over a man's religion, but reinforced it. Masons believed that the development of humanity was the great purpose of human existence, and that human progress depended upon the upholding of moral standards by ordinary men. (Women were not admitted to the organization.) They also had a custom of censure by members of the lodge, when they disapproved of the moral behavior of an individual. Stonewall Jackson was also a possible influence on Smith's rigid attitude. Jackson was a deeply religious man, a Presbyterian and a Mason like Smith. He was also a strict military leader, who had men executed for desertion when they tried to go home without leave to see to their families' welfare.Neighbors came to Smith and begged him not to proceed with the session, but he was determined to exercise his responsibilities. He insisted upon holding a trial to expel the couple from the church. However, community sentiment ran against him. The trial was held, but the couple were not expelled. Smith's neighbors would not speak to him or to his wife and children. They were denied credit at the store, which for a farmer would have been a severe hardship. At the age of 70, Smith moved his family to a farm three counties away. His children, mostly in their teenage years at that time, were separated from their friends and cousins. Maggie left her family, including her twin sister, behind in Mecklenburg. Smith's twin, Washington, had already passed away in 1891.

Maggie and Her Daughters

The family's house on Deep River was described as lovely by their grand-daughter, Willie Alexander Carr. The front door was double, with glass windows full-length on either side. A center hall divided a living room on the left from Maggie's bed and sitting room on the right. Lelia and Belle had a bedroom behind Maggie's. The kitchen was at the back of the house and had a stone fireplace large enough to stand upright in. At the back door were steep steps where the property sloped downward toward the river, and there was a cellar under the house.

The Alexanders attended Euphronia Presbyterian Church nearby. However, Smith was in his seventies at the time of the move, and he died several years later, in 1904. Maggie stayed on with her daughters until her death in 1931. Another granddaughter described her as a small, bossy woman who wore a long apron and kept Brown Mule chewing tobacco in the pocket. She rarely left her home. Semi-invalid, she spent most of her time sitting in her room, giving orders to her daughters, who did all the housekeeping and cooking. When she wanted something, such as a glass of water, she would call out "Lelia-Belle!" and one of them would see to whatever she wanted. Her sons lived with her until their marriages, but neither daughter married. Her niece said she enjoyed her aunts' cooking when the family visited, and the children were seated at the table on fragrant wooden boxes that had contained chewing tobacco. Belle and Lelia sold the homeplace after Maggie's death in 1931.

Sources

• http://home.earthlink.net/~glendaalex/alexanderstilwell.htm
• http://home.earthlink.net/~glendaalex/stilwell.htm
• Source: S64 Abbreviation: GEDCOM file imported on 4 April 2009 Title: GEDCOM file submitted by Elaine Boston. Imported on 4 April 2009. Subsequent Source Citation Format: GEDCOM file submitted by Elaine Boston. Imported on 4 April 2009. BIBL GEDCOM file, Elaine Boston. TMPLT TID 0 FIELD Name: Footnote VALUE GEDCOM file submitted by Elaine Boston. Imported on 4 April 2009. FIELD Name: ShortFootnote VALUE GEDCOM file submitted by Elaine Boston. Imported on 4 April 2009. FIELD Name: Bibliography VALUE GEDCOM file, Elaine Boston. TMPLT FIELD Name: Page

• Find A Grave: Memorial #14334504