Question of the Week: Have you found any feuds in your family tree? [closed]

Question

Have you found any family feuds in your family history or genealogical research?

Please tell us with an answer below. You could also answer on Facebook or upload the question image to any social media site. If you share it you may get family members talking.

Answer 1

Thanks to genealogy, I'm learning about them now. I had a gr uncle who lived 90 miles from me for almost 50 years I never met. I'm thinking something was amiss. I had aunt and uncles who never spoke to one another, my entire life that I know of. I just assume I come from a typical dysfunctional family. My job was to stir the pot and put the FUN in dysfunctional. Every time I go by a meeting hall with an empty parking lot, I assume there is a scheduled meeting for functional families supposed to be going on.

Answer 2

Often a photo is worth a thousand words, and this photo is one of those times. My maternal grandmother Nellie Long kept a feud going with her older sister Lizzie. To hear Nellie tell it, it all began when Lizzie broke the head off her doll. They were poor, and the doll was Nellie's only toy.

In the photo Nellie is center back, and her back is to Lizzie. I would often hear my grandmother tell her younger sister Phoebe that Lizzie was only a half-sister, since "Ma was pregnant when she married Pa." 

Doing genealogy and counting the months, Lizzie was only ten days away from being born nine months after the marriage of my great grandparents, so I think Nellie just didn't want Lizzie as her sister.

Comments

I  love this gorgeous old photo of your grandmother Nellie long she is so cute with her sister and half sister thank you sweet Alexis for showing another treasure of a photo

---

Susan, thank you for your always lovely comment. All of the sisters loved cats, and for the last twenty years—my rescue cats have been named after the sisters. Lizzie is personality plus; she is so fun and loves to be with people.

---

Great photo Alex, thank you for sharing it. It's not hard to see that there are issues based on body language.

---

Marty, thank you for your insightful comment. I have always thought the body language in this photo was remarkable. I knew all six of these sisters well.

---

Nellie is also keeping the middle sister in front of her from Lizzie. She has her arm across her, but the little girl isn't so sure, she's looking toward the other two sisters.

---

A great story Alexis, thank you for sharing it with us.

---

Jo, thank you for your comment. That is Phoebe, and she was my great aunt that my children and I stayed with for two weeks every summer. She was wonderful to tell me so many family stories.

---

Doyle, thank you for your comment. These sisters were a big influence on my life.

---

Great picture and story, my friend! It's amazing how some folks can hold a grudge.

---

John, thank you for your insightful comment. I was always amazed at how much my maternal grandmother could seem to thrive on confrontation. I have gotten to know Lizzie’s granddaughter through emails, and it is likely that my grandmother and her sister Lizzie were actually very much alike.

Answer 3

20 years ago, we visited the town where my dad’s great-grandfather was born, in Lorraine, France. Actually, there were two towns, back to back. We couldn’t tell where one left off, and the other began. The then-mayor of Town A was originally from Town B, and vice versa. However, the two towns had been feuding since at least the 1820s.

Among other things, we were told that, when they built the current church, c. 1820, it was supposed to be built in the middle. However, one of the towns claimed to have paid more money toward the building, and so had it located on their side.

My dad asked whether they were arguing about anything at present. Yes, something about the height of the cemetery wall.

Answer 4

My 13th great grandfather, Crowner Gun (Gun-45) was involved in the feud between the Gunns and the Keith (Scottish clans) that lasted more than 500 years.

Sometime in the early 1400s,  Dugald, Chieftain of the Keiths, abducted Helen of Braemore, daughter of Lachlan Gunn, on the eve of her marriage to Alexander Gunn. He imprisoned her in Ackergill tower, where the committed suicide by jumping off the top of the tower.  That, plus the the fact that the Keiths (with the support of the Scottish king) were taking over lands in Caithness (far north of Scotland) that had been Gunn lands, started the feud. In the late 1400s (1464 or 1478 depending on the source), they determined to have a "set battle", with 12 horseman on a side, to end the feud once and for all. The Gunns brought 12 men on 12 horses. The Keiths brought 24 men on 12 horses (2 to a horse). (The Gaelic word for "horseman" is literally "horse with a man on it" so they claimed they were  following the rules.)  Needless to say, the Gunns were massacred  and the feud was worse than ever.

Even into the 20th century I had great aunts who were "not on speaking terms" with anyone named Keith.

In 1978 the chief of Clan Keith and the Commander of Clan Gunn signed an official peace treaty, ending the feud.

There is a Wikipedia article about it.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Battle_of_Champions

Answer 5

Ardona Cook (Austin) had a rooster, and it attacked one of her grandsons. The father of the child was Aubrey Neal Austin, and in retaliation, he killed the rooster. This led to a dispute with his mother, which turned into an argument, which turned into a feud. The story goes Aubrey never spoke to his mother Ardona again.

Answer 6

Was it a disagreement or just a way to transfer money?

My great grandmother Jane Whiting, along with her sisters Mary and Susan and brother-in-law were defendants in a lawsuit brought by her brothers Heman and Jared, sister Frances, and mother Susan.

Heman and Jared bought the land at auction in February, mother Susan died in March, and in June Heman and Jared were living next door to each other farming this land on Whiting Road while Jane, Frances and Mary were living with their sister Susan and her husband a short distance away.

Answer 7

My natural maternal grandfather's  Cormack-406 will shows evidence of feuding . He had 6 known children  5 girls , one son. They were all alive and well when he wrote his last testament 2 days prior to his death. In it he stated that he had 3 children and left £100 to one daughter and the rest of his estate to another daughter (house, contents and savings) , Hence going forward the siblings ignored one another .

The will took several years to prove  and caused much ill feelings . The solicitor who witnessed the will was named as an executor but resigned from this role

I went to Ireland to see a copy of the will in the National Archives Reading Room and when the large book it was kept in was handed over to me to view the library attendant told me he knew of the will as several people had previously viewed it . He said it might have been better if he had never made a will and they could have sorted the estate out to their satisfaction  I was allowed to take  photos of the will so have the details just not the understanding to go with it.

Answer 8

Only if you're talking about the one between me and my brothers.... but we got over that when we finally got over being dumb kids.

Mags, sorry, but I have to tell this slightly off topic story just for you. My grandmother used to blame everything on South Carolina. When I asked her how Felix Beaty (my grandfather's uncle by marriage) was related to us, she said, "Oh, those were those South Carolina Beatys." (He WAS kin to us.) And, there was this fella on the local news by the name of Underwood. I asked the same question and got the same answer: "Oh, he's from those South Carolina Underwoods." So, not a feud, but a discounting of "other" families, or so she thought.

Comments

I had an uncle who quit speaking to his brother, my gr gr grandpa, because he "married a Grubb". I'm not sure if there was a problem with the Grubb's, or he just didn't approve of a good Scottish man (McIntosh) marrying an inferior German gal. After reading more about grandpa, I have my own reasons that would keep me from speaking to him. It seems he participated in the border raids against Mo in the War of 1861.

---

K, one would have thought that there would have been a problem in my mountain families, what with most joining up with the Confederate army and some crossing the Tennessee border to join the Union army. Apparently, this left no ill feelings amongst them when everyone got back home.

Answer 9

I had one great-grandfather being a protestant pastor on the Nazi side, and one cousin of his, also a protestant pastor, being on the other side and even marrying a Jewish woman. Not sure if it counts as a feud, but apparently there were heated discussions at least.

Answer 10

My grandfather fell out with his brother but I don't know what it was over. We didn't meet him that I remember but I remember visiting his daughter with my father so family did not lose contact with one another.

Answer 11

My maternal grandmother was a Wilsmhurst. The family were pretty much contained to several Kent villages, mostly Goudhurst, Cranbrook and Tenterden. They were a well known and established family, where family members  owned  many of the local businesses, the inn, the brewery, bakers, as well as having one of the local vicars. I have them going back to around 1660. At some point in during the 1800’s there seems to have been a family split, whereby one branch of the family hived off and started calling themselves Wimsett. No one seems to know why the split occurred or exactly when, or who was involved. Several years later, some but not all converted back to Wilmshurst. I remains a family mystery that many of us know about vaguely, but not one of us has the specifics!

Answer 12

My GG Father was in an argument with his siblings. They never spoke after that and went to the grave not speaking. The children never knew why, but thankfully did not follow and remained close!

Answer 13

Indeed. From what I've been able to determine, my grandparents on both sides were religious Jews in 19th/20th century Poland, but my parents were more "modern" and became Zionists. This likely caused a bit of tension.

Answer 14

One of my Irish ancestors was supposed to be raised Protestant, according to the wishes of his prematurely-deceased father. When his mother allowed him to spend time with her Catholic friends, his uncles claimed that she was a terrible influence and sued for custody. So she claimed that she was going to take him on vacation to England, but instead fled with him to Paris.

https://www.wikitree.com/wiki/Space:Case_on_Behalf_of_Henry_Mills_Esq

Answer 15

I found yesterday I was related to Hatfield about 3 or 4 and then I found MCoy about 3 or 4 of them in the long Notables List  the first I found was William Anderson "Devil Anse" Hatfield and I went to look and they are not there ?

Ephraim and Kelly are 19th cousins five times removed

Comments

On approximately March 4, 1853 William Thomas Criner, my wife Charlotte Criner Curtis’s great great great grandfather, of the Big Creek area of Newton county Arkansa, and his brother in law Harv Hefley got into a fight with a neighbor over a land boundary, a man reportedly named Frank Burns. Burns shot Mr. Criner in the thigh which severed an artery. (Old Billy bled to death later.) Mr. Hefley struck a man that was with Burns, with an axe, and killed him. This was before the civil war. During the war. The Criners fought for the Union. During the battle of Pea Ridge in Arkansa, Frank Burns was captured. Apparently he was a Confederate. He was turned over to a man named Joe Criner (Joseph) A son of William (Old Billy) joe marched Burns down to a creek branch. “Please don’t kill me, please let me go, killing me won’t bring your Daddy back” was Burn’s pleas. When they were nearing The Spot, Mr. Criner asked “ can you run?”….”Joe, if I do you’ll shoot me in the back”…”Run! Get outta here, and don’t ever come back to Big Creek again”. When he did, Joe intentionally shot over his head. He never did come back. “An eye for an eye” was occasionally the justice of the day. Happily, although Joseph Criner had the opportunity for “pay back” he had the presence of heart and mind to end it all that day by taking “ The higher road”. And we are all better for it.

Answer 16

One member was a life-long disruptive influence - the "other" woman who broke up a 17-year marriage, took up with the man, threw out her own children as they became teenagers, and continued to be a chancer with several more men wherever there was wealth;  Consequent upon researching the individual it turns out there were dozens of 1C-4C relatives who variously lived on into the 2000's, had lived within a 50-75 mile radius but remained out of view because she was shunned for her behaviour.  Sadly, one of her daughters felt obliged to repeat the pattern and so kept the cousins undisclosed and refuses to communicate with her siblings. Unsurprisingly, the few remaining surviving cousins are often reluctant to acknowledge her children as relatives.  Thanks to WT and LDS their existence and lives are, at least,  coming to be known.

Answer 17

The Taylor Sutton Feud

Answer 18

Our family is well known for feuds, including my direct family.  Looking a couple of generations back the feud was about who is given the Family Bible, it always went to the eldest son so as not to change the surname.  In our Family Bible, the surname changed twice in a few centuries as there must have been no living son to pass it down to.  Further research shows that there are some dirty dealings and even suspicious deaths in my paternal side.  My dad's Auntie did not speak to the family after the Bible was willed to her younger brother, my grandfather.  This affected where the money went when that line of the family died off.  My dad was an only child, so he didn't have to fight for the Bible, sword, medals and other heirlooms usually given to the eldest son.  I am the eldest and have a little brother.  He feels he should get all of these family heirlooms and legacies whereas I think this should be shared between all three of us siblings.  We haven't spoken in 30 years.  It is sad that some men still feel superior to women.  His Royal Highness, William, the Prince of Wales changed that succession and introduced Princess Charlotte into the line of succession before Prince Louis.  I hope someday we can reconcile.

Comments

Good luck with that, Jacqueline; I can just recall (aged 5-6, about 75 years ago) the family on my fathers side arguing over who should get the several volumes of Encyclopaedia Britanica left by my grandmother - eventually split 4-5 ways between his siblings.  I expect the family bibles would have been contentious as 3 different faith groups merged by her generation.

---

Thanks Phil.  I forgot about the Encyclopaedia Brittanicas.  I think I'm the only one that actually read them all so by default, I may get a few.  I am using the "W" one to read about World Wars and may not give it back.

Answer 19

When my 3G Grandfather died, the priest that was performing the burial wanted to get it over with quickly because it was going to rain.  He didn't wait for the man's three sons to arrive.  When they did get there, they were obviously very upset and made their feelings known by beating the priest.  They were subsequently excommunicated from the Catholic church.

Answer 20

My great- grandfather William Neal and his brother Dan Neal were involved on a small scale in the biggest blood Feud in American history....the Pleasant Valley War 1882 to 1892 fought mainly in northern Gila County, AZ . It started between the Graham and Tewksbury families but quickly spread to all cattlemen in the area. Approx. 50 men were killed in this Feud over land, cattle, sheep, etc.