Question

Who is my Dad?

Comments

As some one who didn't have any idea who their biological father was, and even with DNA uploaded to every site etc & no mega close matches. I truly understand & can empathise with you Marion.

With the help of Wikitree's Adoption Angels I have found his name.

I'd started in August 2019, and I've known his name for just a couple of weeks. Now to figure out how to find his contact information to say SURPRISE lol.

My highest match was 196cM and they had no tree. They did respond but they believed I was their mothers side (and their mother was adopted). Well I was their dads side & turned out our Grandmothers were sisters. Even those small numbers could be very helpful.

As others have suggested check the "Shared Matches" and keep sending messages. Some one will answer eventually.

I wish you all the very best Marion, you sound like me, determined. It's an exciting & frustrating journey.

Kylie :)

Answer 1

Another vote for Ancestry DNA here. They have the largest numbers of users so you stand the best chance of finding relatives there.

Once you have your results you can then also upload them to other sites including MyHeritage and Family Tree DNA and you're likely to find other matches there too (there might be a small fee but it's much less than the cost of doing another test). 23andMe is another option but I think the Ancestry database is bigger.

Ancestry usually have a sale a few times a year (eg. for Black Friday) so unless you're really keen you could wait for that.

Comments

I've done 23andme and Ancestry DNA, and I still do not have an answer...

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OK. What have you done with the results? Have you managed to identify which of your matches are from your mother's side and which are from your father's, for a start?

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Yes, and I have located my biomom, but my problem is whats on my sealed birthcertificate is NOT matching up on either DNA sites... And who ever he is that side is NOT responding to me AT ALL!

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That must be frustrating. Do you have some close matches from your father's side? Can you see how any of them are related to each other?

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Lol nope all trees have been BLOCKED!!

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You can't see any of your matches' trees on Ancestry? Odd.

Have you uploaded your kit to MyHeritage or Family Tree DNA?

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Yes I can see matches, but that does not help telling me who my dad is all I see is a name or a made up name lol and no I have not uploaded to the other DNA sites....

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The names of your matches aren't always that helpful (people are adopted, change name, or have a different father to the one in their tree). 

I don't know what you've done already, but you need to look at the matches that you have in common with each match – in Ancestry the people who are listed on the 'Shared matches' tab. 

I'd suggest using the group function in Ancestry to label your shared matches, eg. take your closest match and choose a coloured group for them (where it says 'Add/edit group'). Then apply that colour to all of their shared matches.

Go back to your list of matches, find the next closest match who doesn't already have a group, and choose a different colour. Then go to their list of shared matches and give them all the same colour too.

Eventually you'll have organised your matches into groups based on who they are related to. If you can then work on how they are related and identify their "common ancestors", those ancestors may well be yours too.

The Leeds method is basically the same thing but suggests creating a spreadsheet.

If you are looking to identify your father it would be well worth uploading your data to the other sites I mentioned, as there will be relatives there who haven't tested with Ancestry or 23andMe. Gedmatch is another place you can do the same (horrible design though).

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I have color coded, and I have my Ancestry listed on True Line already, I believe I was conceived by a family member to many color codeds are coming from the same family how sad is that!!

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I've been working on this since November of last year...

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How close are your closest matches from your father's side?

It took me quite a while to get my head around my results, and to understand what I had to do to analyse them.

Don't give up, but it is worth reading up to make sure you're doing the right things. Some people will get instant results if the right people have already tested, but for most of us that isn't the case.

(More than two years on, I'm still hoping to find DNA matches related to my grandfather's father, but DNA testing is much less popular here in the UK than in the USA so the chances are lower)

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Several 2nd & 3rd Cousins on both 23andm3 and Ancestry... I'm Not giving up!!

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Lots of great ideas and thoughts, Katie, thank you!

Marian, I've sent you a private message based on something you said in your comments here to see if I can help you sort that out. Emma (Adoption Angels)

Answer 2

Marian, that is a question that's going to be difficult for anyone on G2G to answer. You can take a DNA test (I recommend Ancestry for this, but others will work as well) and sort your matches, and with a little luck and tenacity, you should be able to determine your father's identity that way.

Comments

Lol, I have done 23andme and Ancestry DNA, and I still have no answers...

Answer 3

Hello Marian,

Add your 23andMe or your AncestryDNA results to GEDmatch.com and then add your GEDmatch ID to https://www.wikitree.com/wiki/Special:DNATests

Don’t add both 23andMe and AncestryDNA to GEDmatch unless you use GEDmatch’s utility to create a Superkit.

Then you will be able to find relatives in GEDmatch who tested with Family Tree DNA’s Family Finder, Living DNA, MyHeritageDNA, 23andMe, and AncestryDNA.  

You will also be able to make use of your X chromosome matches (half of your X chromosomes are from your father’s mother’s ancestry).

Comments

Ok will do thank you!!

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Peter i add all tests to Gedmatch.  I find more matches that way.  I find most productive matches meaning people who respond are those who test with Ancestry and FTDNA.  I just started uploads to Geneanet which a European company a lot of Europeans list their trees on much like ancestry.